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Friday, November 30, 2007

THE 'HIDDEN LIFE': WHERE PATHOLOGY FESTERS & GROW

The excerpts from this perfectly describe Yid with Lid... and maybe your Narcissist or Sociopath. It's the part of them that only we, their victims, know. Their coworkers, friends and probably even family are kept from seeing this dark, hidden side of them. Once they are done using us, we are smeared to embarrass us into silence and make sure that their family & friends never believe us. We are called scorned, bunny boilers, stalkers and all sorts of terms frequently used in the media... as if victims have no right to be angry at being emotionally & psychologically raped. You're not alone and most of all - YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!
 
Anne Taintor icon Pictures, Images and Photos

Are you Involved with a Sociopath? 
by CRYSTAL EVANS  

Here are signs that you are probably dating a sociopath: 

1. You discover that he is a liar. You find out that who he says he is does not correlate with the norm. When ones lie they often have to make another lie to continue lying. I met a man on line who claimed he was a high school teacher. We were speaking via messenger and I realized that he could not spell simple words such as humor (he spelt it 'humer'). I decided to point that out to him and he launched into a rampage. I probed deeper and he refused to tell me which high school he taught and which subject he taught. I told him blatantly that if he was teacher then I understood why the Jamaican education system was poor. The Internet is the best place for omitting important information, making false claims and deception.
(which when you read this whole site, you will see YWL did this to me liberally. First, in profiling me to become my 'perfect man' and coerce me into an inappropriate relationship.
Second, just for the hell of it - whether resentment, jealousy, anger that my estranged Husband caught us or just because it was fun - lying and twisting the truth are like breathing to him. It usually is for all pathologicals. ... I have come to believe that being pathological, he really does not know what the truth is at any one time... as Dr. Hare says 'these people will adjust the truth to fit their lie.' Yes, even to themselves!)
2. He becomes angry if you question what he has told you. This is a sure sign of narcissism or antisocial personality disorder. It may be an indication of a control freak. It is best to cease communication with this person. His angry outburst may be a way of disarming you, trying to intimidate you into stop questioning his motives. You need to run! He definitely has something to hide.
Yes, YWL became angry when I questioned or probed what he told me. He would then lay on the NLP and mind control stuff so that my cognitive dissonance was so deep I couldn't think straight about anything - especially him.
He preyed on my disbelief that anyone I'd know for so long would treat me like this. Later he'd lamely apologize and blame it on something else - not feeling well, his wife, job stress... whatever was handy. He'd also block me for a few days or a week to train me not to question him (Silent Treatment). During that time he was cybering with pros, working on other victims, writing the reviews of all the high-end hookers he'd shelled out $1000s of dollars on - I'd be left wondering what I did wrong and learning never to question him.
3. He is super sweet. If a man shows signs of affection too early it may mean that he is faking it. If a man claims that he loves you and that you are the one for him, he may be pretending to get you to give him money or have a sexual encounter with him. He makes sweet innuendos and endearing statements that amuses and shocks you. You question how can you be feeling like this when you don’t even know how I look or if I am who I say I am? If your on line mate is doing this, it means that you have a red flag.
YWL got away with this one only because I'd known him from before. He told me repeatedly how I'd been one that 'got away' and how much he'd cared for me... blah blah blah.
It wasn't until after, in therapy, I started to remember some of the cruel and inhumane things he'd actually done and said to me in college. At the time he pounced on me online in 2002, I was struggling to deal with my severe disability, a horribly abusive marriage and 2 children I adored. The juggling act was killing me and YWL took full advantage of my weaknesses at the time.
Let me also say I have verified chats that show I was brutally honest about the weight I'd gained from my illnesses, medications and surgeries. I can prove in black & white that I sent him pictures of what I looked like now and he brushed them all away telling me he cared for me and 'didn't care' what I looked like now; that he wasn't that shallow. Of course, he later showed how pathologically shallow he truly is in attempting to bully me into silence with statements like this.
4. He becomes abusive if you refuse to meet him at this date or on line at this hour. I met a guy on line once who became very angry if he was talking to me and I did not respond. He would be asking which other men I was talking to on line. He asserted that I should cease talking to them and give him his attention and time now. I laughed. I knew I was dealing with a sociopath. Sociopaths tend to test you by making a slip offense and then gauge your reaction, if you overlook it. It is more than likely that he will do it again. This particular sociopath will resort to name calling, telling you it is because you are ugly why you do not want to meet him and concluding that you are less of a person who does not deserve his time.
Sociopaths classically push your boundaries. YWL pushed first with language... then cybersex... then showing me depraved porn... then his masturbating on webcam... He was methodical and slow and couched everything with stuff like: "delete if you can't deal with it" or "here's a present for you" or "YOU are making me so horny that I HAVE to watch this stuff." Incorporating blame-shifting along with slowly using your emotions to push the boundaries of what you'd normally find o.k. Before you know it, you're over the abyss with this person and your left with a bad case of hyperarousal and marinating in oxytocin and dopamine while they feel NOTHING but control & dominance over you!
5. He is stalking you on line. Do you know an on line mate that views your profile every day? Does he send messages to your friend’s list? Does he send you emails via alternatives when you have blocked him on messenger?
After being caught, YWL went on the attack by posting my real name, address, phone and names of my children to bully and intimidate me online... extorting men to call me or my exhusband's old phone number for phone sex or to stop by for a 'quickie.' He used a photo I had on my StumbleUpon page or whatever he could find. This included looking up a possibly schizoid ex-'friend' who was harassing myself and four other women online; and using her to try to hammer me into silence. I had to involve the FBI to get that stopped.
He also got a hold of my whole AOL Buddy list, sending lewd messages to a couple of my female friends - both of whom reported him to law enforcement. I had hard evidence he stalked my blogs, had a net-friend try to hack one of my blogs and even stole a template (I was shown by a friend more experienced than I in source codes that YWL did do this and HOW he did it) of mine back in 2004. Of course he swears innocence - but with a pathological: watch the DEEDS; never the words!
I repeat, I have never posted his real name or address or other information online. I will also never be silent about being abused by him. Ever. I speak out within reason for the sake of his children. But I will not lie.
6. He insults people in your life that he does not know especially if he thinks that they are better than him or you value their opinion over his. He calls your friend using derogatory terms and disrespects members of your family.
A few months after YWL and I first started talking, my sister in law (who is on the other side of the political fence from him) was visiting. She got online with him just to ask YWL some genuine questions about his opinion on Israeli politics. Rather than a calm answer - YWL sent her extremely rude and insulting answers; questioning her intelligence! My sister in law was very put-off. She has never forgotten and never will. I was sent information showing me how incredibly rude he is towards anyone who isn't worshiping at his feet a number of times. Pathologicals are not prone to civil discussion.
7. He is very possessive and controlling and you have not met offline as yet. This is a sure sign that you do not want to have further relations with this person. Why would someone act possessive of you without knowing who you are? Why would a man behave as if you are in a relationship with him and you have not met?
Possessive? No. YWL couldn't have cared less - but Controlling? ABSOLUTELY!
8. He asks you for money. Asking for money does not necessarily mean he is a sociopath because he may genuinely be in need of cash. But if solicitation becomes frequent, especially without verbalized intentions of meeting in person, then you have a scam on your hands that you need get rid of him before he bilks your bank account. 9. He drops off the face of the earth. Have you ever met a man on line that drops off the face of the earth when you have sex with him? When or if he resurfaces it is normally to reconnect sexually or take more money then disappears again? You need to get rid of this on line friend because he is apparently using you. He is exploiting you as a soon as a new supply is available he discards you.
I now realize YWL 'dropped off the face of the earth' the first time we had sex. I'd bled all over him; I found out later it was from internal BRUISING and he didn't call, stop by my dorm, enquire how I was... he just disappeared. He still to this day tries to tell people he deflowered me (he didn't). He made an assumption that benefited his image (including telling me I deflowed him! LOL!).
Even so, he didn't care... at all... that he'd physically injured me. And when my estranged-husband found out by hacking my computer, about our online emotional affair - YWL's response? Again - drop off the face of the earth.
He also distanced himself when I was then being beaten up, abused in front of my children - all because of HIM. I kept my estranged-husband from going to his wife. Because I have empathy and some class. For 18 months YWL found every reason in the world not to simply have lunch with me. He had me so brainwashed I didn't see it until it was too late. And the one time he did - he was rude.
Also, the only reason he contacted me in March 2004 when everything he was up to came out? Was to play on my emotions in an attempt to silence me. He, to this day, has still NEVER attempted to apologize to my face. Dropped off the face of the earth... created a new identity (which he says he HAD to do to get away from me stalking him! LOL Again, trying to gain sympathy for himself.)

10. If your man exhibits half of the characteristics above then you should not take the relationship offline. In fact, you should end it online today.  

http://webupon.com/web-talk/are-you-dating-a-cyberpath-online/
 
Anne Taintor Precious Time Retro Vintage Pictures, Images and Photos

His entertainment drive, also referred to as "sensation seeking, excitement seeking or novelty seeking," contributes to his enjoyment of being on the go, exploring new things/people/opportunities and searching for different experiences which often leads to infidelity.  

Many women wonder why psychopaths are never monogamous. The psychopath‘s entertainment drive is so high that he is always looking for something or someone new and exciting. 

This is also why many psychopaths are also very sexually deviant—always looking for the riskier sexual experience. This 'excitement seeking‘ drive in him serves as a 'hook-up‘ for women. 

Couple all of that with: a typically very strong sex drive sexual satisfaction stemming from power and control as much as the physical sex act ...and you have a combination for sexual acting out not likely to be quenched. + High Risk Taking Behavior + High sex drive + High entertainment drive = Infidelity in a psychopath 

 Psychopaths are known for their social dominance, status and power drives referred to as the 'antisocial pursuit of power.' This 'pursuit of power' is a driving force behind making some psychopaths prominent leaders. This is also why we often see psychopaths in prestigious careers such as law, medicine and business.  

Furthermore, it produces in them the edge of competitiveness, driving the successful ones to the top of their fields.

Dr. Leedom

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

CASUAL CRUELTY

Cruel Pictures, Images and Photos
Dominance, power, and having followers are very important to the psychopath's need for total adulation and control. Psychopaths absolutely bask in adulation, many using pity, in a most conniving way, to get the attention that they need. 

Sometimes the way a psychopath asserts his control is done subtly. The psychopath often plays jokes and tricks on others to humiliate them or to assert dominance. Sadly, many are mistaken about the typical psychopath. A psychopath is not always looking for money or sex, quite often, he or she is merely interested in taking you along for a ride. I

 also do not believe that psychopaths always know that they are hurting you. A psychopath behaves the same way with everyone. Most of them take pleasure merely in playing the rouse, and not much else. A psychopath has no interest in your inner emotional state because they themselves have no empathy. They merely enjoy "pulling one over" on people.  

A psychopath cannot truly love and therefore cannot become obsessed with another individual. They are too egocentric, narcissistic, and lack emotional connection to any other human being.  

The central theme of Don Juan's (the psychopaths's) seductions is not even the sexual enjoyment, but playing the trick... While he gives no real love, though he is quite capable of inspiring love of sometimes fanatical degree in others...  

Again, this quote from Gordon Bank's work, "Don Juan as Psychopath," reveals that the psychopath is mostly interested in playing tricks with his prey, almost in a playful way. To the psychopath, such things are not really big deal, while for the victim, however, it becomes a rather big issue indeed. Many of the victims of psychopaths enter therapy as a result of this. 

Many victims believe themselves to be flawed after an experience with a cyberpath. Some of them are harassed by the family and friends of the psychopath, which makes matters worse. He is motivated primarily by the need to dominate and humiliate either the person he is 'taking' or, very often someone connected to another person with whom he is involved.

Psychopaths relish in another's humiliation, which may appear to us as a certain, perverse quality. They take pleasure in what we find obscene, because they are not like other people, they have no true connection to anybody, and are incapable of feeling real love. Messing with another person's emotions and life is merely a way to pass the time, pulling one over on you is fun and enjoyable.  

Most of the crimes psychopaths commit, tend to be "crimes of the heart" and/or "casual cruelty", they are cruel, manipulative people who leave a trail of broken hearts and often broken lives behind them.  

Again, most psychopaths are common liars and predators. Do not be fooled by someone who tells you that there is such a thing as a "harmless liar." A liar is never harmless. A person who lies should never be trusted, and once you find out they've lied to you even once, it's time to break it off. Once having drained what they can from one source, they turn to others to exploit, bleed, and then cast aside; their pleasure in the misfortune of others is unquenchable. People are used as a means to an end; they are to be subordinated and demeaned ...the pleasure they gain from their ruse often flags once the rewards of deceit have been achieved.  

Before long, their true unreliability may be revealed as they "stop working at" their deception or as their need grows to let others know how clever and cunning they have been A psychopath may keep you hooked for as long as they need your narcissistic supply. Once you start getting "wise" to them, however, or once he or she begins to tire of you and find that your narcissistic supply is becoming inadequate, you will soon find out, through some subtle manuevers, that your absolutely "perfect" future mate is nothing but a charade.  

SOURCE


2010-07-10 16:32:21 
I just got of a relationship with a Psychopath: I was devastated at first because he was charming. However, now that it is over everything that he did is starting to reveal itself... Wow, was I fooled. 

I know it is not my fault. I am ok and thank God this happened before the long walk down the aisle...

Monday, November 5, 2007

VALIDATION

Thank you -- thank you to the people who sent me these things over the years to help me move forward with my life. I have moved forward but will always have a deep ache in my soul. 

  Bullshit Wizard Pictures, Images and Photos  
















 
Narcissist Personality Disorder does not leave such concrete evidence around like empty bottles, mysterious car dents, drunk-driving charges or visibly injured spouses. No, it feeds on the less concrete aspects of our lives. Damage is visited upon the people around NPD sufferers, and the behavior of the NPD sufferer is explained away using countless plausible rationalizations. To help my own understanding, I have come up with a metaphor for the disorder and the person who is afflicted by it. The metaphor is one of a puppeteer (the disorder itself) and a puppet (the person with the disorder). Let's explore the puppet metaphor to help understand how Narcissistic Personality Disorder works. The puppet metaphor illustrates what I believe is the salient challenge of NPD for those people around it: you think you are dealing directly with a person, but you are not. Instead, you are dealing with someone under the control of NPD. Here is what I have read about and experienced first hand. Narcissistic Personality Disorder sufferers:

From what I have read, NPD sufferers rarely get clinically diagnosed, let alone treated. I can understand that. Just imagine waking up with the notion that you might be afflicted with this condition; you would have to build your life from scratch, even if you did believe treatment were possible.


There are plenty of people out there who have suffered at the hands of an NPD sufferer, and extensive research has been done to be able to identify it. The Internet is awash with anecdotes, life stories, remedies and the results of research. It is called a disorder because something is broken, not because something is unusual. Don't let others convince you that the person is just "a bit quirky" or "has a bit of an edge".
At least be honest with yourself. It doesn't matter what they say, and it also doesn't matter what I say. You have to work it out. Give it time and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, if you are exposed to it in someone in whom you have personally invested, will hurt you. It's a slow nibbling-to-death process. First, you're attracted to this striking person because you seem to have so much in common with them, and striking they are, as they weave a web around you. They know exactly how to get attention - they've been perfecting it all their lives.
What's really happening is you are being prepared for dinner. Their dinner. And you are but one of their side-dishes. They never counted how many little folks like you they have consumed over the years. A spider doesn't count the flies he eats and he has no feelings for any ofthem. The fly is just dinner; that's his place in this world. When you have a relationship with a sufferer or NPD, you are the fly.
The preposterousness of what I have just said is one of the reasons NPD gets to go on giving for a long, long time. Few will believe until they personally get punched in the face by it. And by that time, they've moved on to new willing victims.
NPD destroys relationships, trust, and whole families, yet still gets to continue in full swing, for a long time. There are no empty bottles to point to, no dirty syringes, or unexplained bruises on someone's arm. A person under the control of NPD can behave perfectly normally one moment, just like the puppet sits quietly in the puppet chair while the strings remain loose, then unexpectedly and suddenly turn on you as if you had committed some great crime against them.
The Puppet Knows he is a Puppet
I believe that a person under the control of NPD know that something is wrong; that something is very wrong. Often, and perhaps this is their real curse, such a person if very intelligent. They are good at working things out and they know something is definitely awry - but they are just the puppet, not the puppeteer - so it continues. Still, like so many human issues, ones "higher self" knows.
The Nice Man, The Bully and the Friend.
Imagine a chap by the name of Joe Smith. Joe shares a flat with a bully by the name of Biff. One evening, Joe is entertaining a close friend in the living room and Biff in the kitchen overhears something Joe's friend says in the living room. Biff immediately takes grave offense, storms into the living room in a rage and verbally abuses Joe's friend who gets up to leave because he is deeply hurt from the unexpected verbal assault. Joe sits there in shock about what has just happened.
Biff goes upstairs to sleep it off while Joe gets to pick up the pieces, apologizing profusely for his flat mate's outrageous behavior, perhaps even descending into a degree of denial about it all. Joe is just a regular guy like you or me, Biff is the ever controlling NPD he suffers from, and Friend is anyone Joe has a relationship with. NPD is like an unpredictable flat-mate. It might leave the sufferer alone for periods of time, days or sometimes weeks, but it always returns. Just when it looks like it's not really there anymore, it marches into the room and beats your friend up.
NPD will try to invalidate the feelings of those it hurts
"You're too sensitive" is a common attempt at invalidation used by a person under the influence of NPD. They try to invalidate what you are feeling because you are "over-reacting" to what has happened. Ironic, really, because the person under NPD begins the emotional encounter with an overreaction in the first place.
They know how to invalidate the feelings of others. This is why the Puppet metaphor fits so well for a person under NPD. You think you're talking with a reasonable person. After all, they've got that great degree in physics or medicine - they must be open to reasonable debate, you think. Wrong. When you try to reason with them, you will get yourself caught up in their puppet strings, and if you are not careful, will get sucked into their whole messy psycho world. That is, if you care. That is, if you have empathic skills.
Lack of Empathy - the signature of a person under NPD
Somewhere in their past, a person under NPD was left out in the cold. They were neglected in some way that left them hurt and feeling abandoned. Not usually in a physical sense, but more likely in a way that suggested they were unworthy of love. It is normal for a baby to think they are the center of the universe. It is normal for a seven year old not to fully connect with the teary-eyed adults surrounding the casket of their grandfather. But babies and kids grow up. They grow to learn the emotion of empathy; they grow to take on the adult burden of supporting others in the community, the family and the relationships around them. Persons under NPD are blind to empathy. Sure, they are masters at faking it, but they just cannot feel it.
They know how to make themselves look like they're connecting, complete with speeches from the heart and teary-eyed funeral visits. But they are in the game from themselves alone. When you get that about people who have the disorder, you begin to understand just how vulnerable you really are when such a person is close.
---------------
hhjagr@mail.com  2007-05-22 17:07:21 - 
Predator. He gives men a bad name. Yes, you did wrong but in your situation he provided a sympathetic ear and then used you. He has temerity to complain and blame. Puts you in the hospital? Now he's mad you speak out? What I wish to say you might delete 

yopkow@.com 2007-05-22 09:10:10 - 
You got taken for a ride. And now he's mad you're being truthful? Has he even attempted to talk to you? Guess this is what happens when you use someone like a sex toy and they turn out to be a human being.

[OrthoNana]]> zbb55@.com 2007-06-09 04:09:11
 Didn’t he say in The Story of Gridney he was “dropping it”? He has the nerve to say you went absolutely nuts? And now he posts your IP online? thats dropping it? Is he kidding? '
This YWL is certifiably nuts. He’s out for blood. Be careful.

knwlha@.com 2007-07-10 19:22:30 - 
My GOD were you used girl! U S E D! And now you try to stop the harassment. you tell his wife (which probably ended his “fun”!) you help the cops and get them not to prosecute him And he does this? LOSER!

halela@.com 2 2007-07-10 22:18:38 - 
Are you going to post about this **** posting your IP on his blog to further his lies that you're some sort of stalker? When it was him who stalked YOU after he traumatized you, to every support group on the net you were on where you poured your pain out about what he'd done! 
He’s peeved you've put this all out there isn’t he? 
Are you going to tell about him and his buddies killing your Blog Carnival posting simply because he hates you for being truthful? Or him & his buddies putting gay porn on your blog? How about him deleting more of his hooker postings the minute you put the link on this site, as if it never happened? 
Why doesn’t he go back to junior high were his behavior belongs? You are really being an angel about it all and showing a lot of tolerance and compassion. Too bad he doesn’t deserve any of it.  

eovxue@.com  2007-07-09 17:59:28 - 
The word that comes to mind here: EXPLOITATION. You were EXPLOITED And now this YWL or whatever he’s calling himself has the nerve to be angry that you are telling the truth and putting it all out there. Unbelievable.

nuntiagratia@.com 82009-08-24 12:45:55 - 
I'm trying to recover after 17 years with an NPD. The part where you describe inside the mind of an NPD made me scream in anguish. I left him 8 months ago but there is not enough awareness where I come from. Had a string of therapists...the last one asked me what I might have done to save the marriage...it left my already fragile self-esteem even more battered. It's hard to recover without professional help :( The last thing he did was turn my brother on his side. He still visits my elderly mother regularly. Everyone believes he's so sweet. 
He's done a recovery course for perpetrators and people admire him for it and yet when i talk to him on the phone he's as abusive and menacing as ever. It's like he added some more polish and learnt some new jargon from the course which is further enhancing his act.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Example Seven: Is Extremely Self-Absorbed



If this trait doesn't describe YWL I don't know what does. Self-Absorbed to the point that he really believes his own B.S. and has brainwashed his nearest & dearest into believing he can do no wrong. 

Woe to anyone that exposes what a loser he is as he will label you as "jealous" and "trying to harm" him and his family! Yid is using classic sociopath playing-martyr speak

Even on his blog he paints himself as the ultimate truth teller of the far-right-wing conservative movement. He brooks no opposition and no discussion. All that is beneath HIM. 

He is right... he is RIGHT... and he is THE LID... (no wonder he was so obsessed with women on their knees 'servicing' him!)  

The other thing that I found out years later, that he and many other pathological predators do - aside from masturbating like monkeys - is SENDING PICTURES OF THEIR "JUNK" to women. Now would someone please tell me why these predators think we WANT to see this? Or that we like it? 

All it proves to me is that you are more interested in others as a collection of parts - or as most narcissistic sociopaths do - SEE EVERYONE AS AN OBJECT TO BE USED AND EXPLOITED. 

These guys aren't "fragile" or "full of shame." They are supremely self-absorbed, considering themselves to be the most interesting and wonderful things on the planet. They seek out their "betters" and ABSORB what is good and compelling about them as their own (THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY was a great example of the extreme of this); such as when YWL told 'stories' to others about himself that never happened to him - because they HAPPENED TO ME. 

Psychiatrists call this PROJECTIVE IDENTIFICATION and it's a clear sign of pathology.
 
They truly are the KINGS OF THE WORLD - Their World! Certainly not mine! Love thy self! Pictures, Images and Photos  
~~~~~~~~~~ 

by Steve Becker, LCSW
Pathologically self-centered individuals, such as sociopaths or narcissists, often project a level of self-confidence that is pathologically tremendous. This can be a problem for others who, unlike the sociopath, will be prone to empathy and self-reflection, along with which come self-doubt and hence fluctuating, less dependable levels of confidence. But Why?  

The answer is surprisingly simple: When your interest in others is principally, if not entirely, about what you can get, or take, from them; when you lack the capacity for, and/or inclination to, genuine, thoughtful self-reflection; and when the meaning, or purpose, of life is fundamentally reduced to the expectation, and pursuit, of continual gratification, you have a prescription not only for pathological self-centeredness, but its frequent concomitant—pathological self-confidence.  

Think about it: for such an individual, it is mostly, and sometimes only, about what he wants. And if he knows what he wants, such an individual will feel entitled to it. And his sense of entitlement becomes self-validating—self-validating, that is, of whatever argument, rationalization, or manipulation brings him closer to his demand.  

In other words, the pathologically self-centered individual has something very powerful in his favor—conviction. His is the conviction of his entitlement, of his right to have what he wants—whether it’s agreement, an apology, special attention, cooperation, sex, a favor, forgiveness, you name it. And he wields his sense of conviction powerfully and persuasively—all the more so if he’s also articulate and glib.  

This explains how a sociopath can look you in the eye and blame you for something—even his victimization of you—and yet you struggle to fully disbelieve him. As I just noted, if he is intelligent and glib, he is in an even better position to erode your sense of reality. He can construct positions, however absurd and even confirming of his sociopathic orientation, that nevertheless have just enough superficial plausability to arrest your attention.  

Once you’ve been disarmed, even slightly, his impregnably confident assertions, stemming from his pathological self-centeredness, can have a brainwashing influence. You wonder if you’re not crazy? 

The “gaslighting effect” is in full throttle. It is disorienting, literally, to have someone present even a ridiculous proposition, demand, or accusation with unwavering confidence and certitude. And the disorienting effect is magnified exponentially when the assertion is simultaneously packaged in superficially intelligent, coherent, “rational”-sounding language. 

Confidence in one’s sense of reality can wane, and fail, under this combination assault. This can explain why sometimes extremely intelligent, thoughtful and self-respecting individuals can actually be at greater risk of accepting and tolerating abuse.  It can be a case of the exploiter’s pathologically inflated confidence overwhelming the more self-questioning, self-doubting individual’s reality.
(My use of “he” in this article was for convenience’s sake, and not to suggest that females are not capable of the behaviors described.)