FACEBOOK GROUP FOR VICTIMS OF NARCISSISTS

FACEBOOK GROUP FOR VICTIMS OF NARCISSISTS https://www.facebook.com/groups/NoNarcsRUs/1187498977942998/

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

TWO SOCIOPATHS IN A POT

Haven't been able to even watch more than snippets of the current Presidential Debates.  I've known too many Narcissists and Sociopaths in my day and TRUMP is hitting every single button.



Another reason - YWL did the same stuff to and said the same stuff about me - and probably still does:

Here's some snippets of things said to me and others by YWL and things said by Trump recently;
  • I never said that
  • She's crazy
  • That never happened
  • She's fat/ugly/I wouldn't touch her/bang her (paraphrased)
  • I didn't do that
  • She's a liar
  • Wrong
  • She's a criminal (YWL meant me; Trump meant Clinton)

And the projection?  Ohhhhhh the projection.  




Anyone who listens to either of these guys needs to have their heads examined, in my opinion.


__________________________________________

Donald Trump: Profile Of A Sociopath

by Daniel Berger

With the Republican National Convention now completed, the question of whether Donald Trump would “pivot” to the general election and tone down his offensive and erratic behavior has been answered: absolutely not. In the aftermath of his angry, delusional acceptance speech and his subsequent actions (including his recent invitation to Vladimir Putin to commit cyber-espionage and his outrageous attacks on Khizr and Ghazala Khan), the question of Trump’s sanity from a clinical, psychological perspective must be raised.
Amazingly, given his erratic behavior for more than a year, the issue of Trump’s mental stability has received relatively little attention. The most comprehensive recent discussion of this subject was in the June issue of The Atlantic. There, a professional psychologist, Dan P. McAdams, provided a psychological profile of Trump for the purpose of assessing the potential impact of Trump’s personality on his possible presidency. McAdams’ portrayal of Trump was hardly flattering, but concluded that, although Trump’s personality is “extreme,” Trump was just as likely to be a good president as a bad one.
Unfortunately, McAdams’ analysis completely missed the point. The question is not whether Trump’s personality is “extreme.” Rather, it is whether he is disturbed in a psychological sense and, if so, whether his possible personality disorders could lead to disastrous consequences if he were to assume the vast powers of the U.S. Presidency.
“Amazingly, given his erratic behavior for more than a year, the issue of Trump’s mental stability has received relatively little attention.”
Given Trump’s obsessive focus on himself, his complete inability to tolerate criticism, his vindictiveness toward his opponents, his bullying and public insults, and his inappropriate and offensive public rhetoric, the disorder that comes most readily to mind is a narcissistic personality disorder. A narcissistic personality disorder is defined as a personality “characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others.” It is classified as a cluster B personality disorder by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-5 of the American Psychiatric Association (“DSM”) which currently represents the most definitive compilation of mental disorders followed by the mental health profession in this country.
A narcissistic personality disorder can be accompanied by a large number of deleterious traits and behaviors including arrogance, callousness and envy, and is associated with a preoccupation with power, prestige and vanity. Other negative characteristics include “grandiosity” and “a distain and lack of empathy for others.” Worryingly, this condition is also characterized by exploitive behavior to achieve personal gain, exaggeration of skills and accomplishments and intolerance of the views of others. Pathological narcissism is also associated with derogation and insults of others and an inability to tolerate disagreements or criticisms.

Alternatively, Trump could also be suffering from an antisocial personality disorder. An antisocial personality disorder involves a pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others and includes such negative characteristics as deceitfulness as indicated by repeated lying or conning and manipulation of others, aggressiveness, and consistent irresponsibility. A person suffering from an antisocial personality disorder is often referred to as a sociopath. According to the DSM-5, narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders overlap with each other including in terms of lack of remorse and disregard for the wishes, rights, and feelings of others and can even co-exist, as in narcissistic megalomania.
Based on his bombastic and erratic behavior over the last year, and what is known about Trump’s past (which McAdams and others have referred to), Trump exhibits characteristics of both types of personality disorders:
  • He is a serial and compulsive (pathological) liar. PolitiFact named Trump the winner of its annual “Lie of the Year” Award in 2015 - - a competition which PolitiFact said “was not even close,” unquestionably in reference to the fact that it rated 72% of Trump’s public remarks about factual circumstances as false. Any further doubt about Trump’s capacity for truthfulness should be erased by even a cursory review of the website, Trumplies.com - - a vast compendium of misstatements, inaccuracies and outright falsehoods - - or his speech accepting the Republican nomination for president, or his defamation of Ted Cruz’s father in his first post-convention news conference or his recent statement to the New York Times about NATO which was reported the next day and which he categorically denied. The Times then released a verbatim transcript of its interview with Trump which clearly showed that his denial of earlier in the day was patently false.
  • Trump’s dishonesty in his business dealings is shocking and unprecedented for a presidential candidate. Recently, the New York Times published an investigation about Donald Trump’s business dealings and discovered, inter alia, that Trump was a defendant in literally thousands of law suits primarily brought by service providers and vendors whom he failed to pay for services rendered to him or his business organizations. It is abundantly clear that failing/refusing to pay vendors is part of Trump’s business model. What type of reputable businessman - - with a shred of integrity - - would conduct business in such a manner? For this, and other reasons, several major financial institutions including JPMorgan Chase and Goldman Sachs flatly refuse to do business with Trump. Indeed, Trump’s reputation in business is as a scam artist; as Mitt Romney, the last candidate for president of the Republican Party, put it, Trump is a “con man” and “snake-oil salesman.” Readers should look no further than the allegations involved in the Trump “University” scandal to find serious support for Romney’s conclusions.
  • There is overwhelming evidence that Trump cannot tolerate any form of criticism no matter how slight and that he is vindictive in the extreme. The confrontations that Trump had with reporters and news organizations during the primary process, particularly his weeks-long attack on Megyn Kelly are illustrative of this point, as is his shameful, despicable conformation with Khizr Khan and his wife. There is also evidence that has not been publicly disseminated that Trump has misused officers of the New York City Policy Department to retaliate against his perceived enemies in New York City and to harass and threaten the personal safety of his opponents.
  • Trump never apologizes for any missteps or intemperate attacks and has demonstrated a remarkable lack of empathy for persons whom he has attacked, injured, or harmed. Numerous incidents, both recent and historical, establish Trump’s utter lack of either accountability or empathy.
  • Trump has a fixation with the idea of “winners” and “losers” - - a frequent mantra of his campaign for the Presidency. Trump’s universe consists of “winners” and “losers” and Trump particularly focuses on losers - - which includes any opponent or person who disagrees with him. Losers are people who “deserve to lose,” a clear indication of his indifference to, and rationalization for, injuring or humiliating others.
  • Trump’s angry, menacing Convention acceptance speech can only be regarded as delusional and demented and gave the appearance of the ravings of a lunatic. The arrogance and delusional nature of the mantra, “I alone,” repeated in his acceptance speech is a clear indication of the presence of both disorders.
  • Trump’s reaction to protesters during the primaries and to critics at the Democratic National Convention by threatening their physical safety (“I want to hit them”; “They should be carried out on a stretcher”) is highly indicative of antisocial behavior.
  • Although initially regarded benignly by the media as being “unconventional” (“This year is different”), Trump’s failure to conform to established norms for behavior in public and in running a national political campaign for president is also highly sociopathic.
Although a number of commentators on Trump’s mental state (including McAdams) have documented many characteristics of Trump’s possible personality disorders, they scrupulously refrain from exploring the strong possibility that Trump may be mentally disturbed in a clinical, psychological sense and the nature of such disturbances. They refer only obliquely to a possible narcissistic personality disorder by characterizing Trump’s behavior as “grandiose” in nature - - but without any further explanation. They also eschew any reference to Trump as a psychopath or a sociopath.
However, more important than the labels, these commentators fail to consider the potential adverse consequences, if a person like Trump were to acquire the powers of the modern U.S. presidency. Of prime consideration, the president is both Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces and heads up the national security agencies responsible for both the internal and external security of the United States. These powers include control of the FBI, the NSA, the CIA, DHS, and other federal agencies, whose operations are largely carried out in secret. Most of the president’s national security powers are historically broad either in the form of inherent powers or as broadly delegated by Congress and, as a practical matter, are typically unreviewable by Congress or the courts, particularly in an emergency.

Predictions - - both good and bad - - as to the possible consequences of a Trump presidency are, of course, a matter of speculation at this point. McAdams, for example, implicitly concludes that, notwithstanding his personality flaws, Trump was just as likely to do good things as bad, citing the presidency of Andrew Jackson as a “populist” precedent.
However, even assuming that Jackson is a helpful historical analogy, McAdams never seriously considered the potential downside of a Trump presidency in light of his personality flaws. Given the strong possibility of one or more disorders in Trump’s personality, Trump represents an extraordinary danger and risk to the nation in the form of abuses of power.
This danger and this risk are not purely conjectural: Trump has already threatened to abuse these powers should he obtain them. The single most disqualifying action Trump has engaged in to date relates to Jeff Bezos and the Washington Post. In response to criticism by the Post and the possibility that a large number of its journalists have been tasked to investigate Trump’s past (as is true of any presidential candidate), Trump has indicated that should he become president, he will launch an IRS investigation of Bezos—the owner of the Post and CEO of Amazon—and an antitrust investigation of Amazon.
Use of federal agencies for political purposes by a president is a flat-out abuse of power and an impeachable offense punishable by removal from office. Indeed, Article III of the Impeachment Resolution that the House of Representatives passed against Richard Nixon in 1974 involved just such uses of the Department of Justice, the FBI, and the CIA. In other words, before even assuming office, Trump has threatened to engage in an abuse of power, rising to the level of an impeachable offense!
Under the circumstances it would be prudent to take Trump at his word and, at least, consider the possibility that he would engage in significant abuses of power, if he were elected. Given Trump’s evident ignorance of the complex constellation of policy issues facing the nation from both a domestic and international perspective, his apparent lack of understanding of the constitutional division and separation of powers between our three branches of government and, given his personality flaws and/or disorders, it would not only be foolish, but foolhardy, to turn over the powers of the U.S. presidency to Trump.
In this light, and faced with this reality, all persons of good will who care about the future of the country should do everything within reason to prevent Trump from obtaining these powers.

SOURCE

Friday, September 9, 2016

IT'S SEXUAL ASSAULT

Lying to get someone into bed is sexual assault

People often tell little lies in the early stages of dating to impress a possible partner.
But at what point do those lies add up to fraud?

Joyce Short, who has experienced this first hand, thinks that lying to get into bed with someone is sexual assault by fraud.

She would like to see the laws in the United States change and is currently working with to bring these types of sexual assault cases to court in New York state.
"When you lie to a person in order to engage them in sexual action, you're sexually assaulting that person, you're not seducing them." - Joyce Short
Here in Canada, consent is sometimes disregarded by the court, for reasons of fraud. Most of these cases involve HIV non-disclosure. Some other cases have been brought to court, but these are few and far between.


"Very few people will ever go to jail due to sexual assault by fraud lie... There are two important elements that make it difficult to prosecute any of these cases...One of them is that the person them self [the victim] has to behave in a reasonable fashion, and this is true in all fraud law... The other important element is that you need significant proof."

Joyce says that because online dating is a popular way to hook up, many fraudulent sexual relationships are beginning online.
The upside to this is gathering sufficient proof against someone to use in court is now easier.
"Fraud is defined by the following terms: You lie, you know that you're lying, you expect the person to believe your lie, they indeed believed your lie and they suffered harm as a result of your actions because you've lied to them" - Joyce Short
But it was long before the days of online dating when Joyce herself was tricked into a relationship built on false pretences — a marriage that lasted three and a half years and included a child.


"The information that I received lead me to have a concept of this person that was completely different than he actually was. It was sort of like what happened in Mad Men when the person pretended to be Donald Draper and in fact he was Dick Whitman."

She says it is up to the individual to screen potential lovers before getting into bed with them.
"I believe that people should think twice about using dating sites.I believe that before they go to bed with a person, and I don't mean the minute before they go to bed with the person...they need to check this person's identification."


http://www.cbc.ca/radio/the180/porn-is-for-all-of-us-the-tricky-relationship-between-trees-and-crime-and-maple-washing-has-to-end-1.3750507/opinion-lying-to-get-someone-into-bed-is-sexual-assault-1.3754844


Wednesday, January 27, 2016

THE SAMENESS OF THEIR EVIL

After you've read this one - read some of this blog - the similarities of these predators is striking! (Highlighted the parts which are similar to my story)

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I was his “front” — no one would believe he was hiring hookers

Editor’s note: The following story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “stillinshock.”
I was going through a horrendous divorce with a man I had a child with when the predator struck. I was in a vulnerable position, scared to death by the man I was divorcing who was threatening to take my children, my home, my freedom and my life.
My sociopath was a retired cop. Swooped in playing the knight in shining armor (boy, I am sure he could smell the blood in the water). He was friendly, charming, and could tell stories and entertain for hours. EVERYONE liked him.
I wasn’t looking to date … I was going through a divorce, but he came highly recommended by mutual friends, and I started to think along the lines of “maybe this is my reward for going through hell. Finally, a good guy, and he can help keep me and the kids safe!”
I was so scared for my children at the time … I now recognize that thinking as a major vulnerability on my part. I really didn’t know what hit me.

More chaotic

He swooped in and my life became even more chaotic. I was in shock and dealing with PTSD from the man I was divorcing, and the sociopath took advantage of that.
He pretended to support me and be there for me, but looking back, I now realize everything was always about him. If something went good, he took the credit; it didn’t matter who or why. I remember him taking credit for things I had done, because everything always had to be about him. I just let it go because I really didn’t need the ego praise for the things and apparently he did, and it seemed a small price to pay to have someone helping me through the divorce.
I remember once he got me flowers and a birthday card for my birthday, and even though I hugged him and thanked him, he pouted for DAYS that I didn’t make a big enough deal over it. After all, he had gone out of his way to remember my birthday and apparently I should have fallen to my knees in gratefulness.
Family truth
I didn’t meet his family for quite a while. He had told me his mother was psychotic and tried to choke him to death. He told me his sister was too snobby to want anything to do with “working people.” I had no reason to not believe him at this point.
He even talked me into shelling out $8,000 to buy him a camper to live in so he could get away from his psycho mother (Much later I did meet his mother and she was very nice. She was the one who told me he had been married 3 times … he always told me he had only had one wife before me). Obviously, he did not want me to meet his family too soon because they would have messed up the false stories he was telling to me.
Everything was a lie
Everything about our life together was a lie; one that I believed for the longest time (2 to 3 years) because he would build on small truths that he had hard evidence for (he was a cop, he had a hero’s medal for his part in 9-11, he guarded celebrities, he did detail for the President, he was the youngest ever police chief in his state) … he had some proof of most of those.
But a lot was exaggerated or just plain false. He was great at telling stories. He made everyone laugh. Everyone liked him. People would think “What a rascal!” “What a great guy” “He’s so much fun to be around!”
He was fun to be around unless you were living with him. Then he would be angry and irritable, condescending and fault-finding. He would pout and withhold affection if he didn’t get his way.
Life was always chaotic with him. He would start projects and not finish them. He would come up with different ways to make money, borrow the money from family members (2 were my young son and my elderly parents … this is making me ill as I write it … he only paid them back partially what he owed and that is only because I made him pay it back while we were still together).
Loving in public
He would be loving in public but when we got home, he would put a pillow between us as we slept at night (supposedly for his PTSD … now I realize he despised me and only used me for my money and for power and control over another.
Also I was his “front” … his “happy” family, which made it unlikely that most people would believe he was on Craigslist and adult sites hiring hookers, watching cable porn and calling sex lines, trading pictures of his junk with others on the internet (I did not know any of this until 3 years into the relationship … one time he forgot to delete his history. Whoops!)
I found him on several dating sites. I did a lot of digging and also found emails and phone calls to escorts. Of course he lied about it all. He got angry, he threw stuff at me, he told me I HAD to trust him if this was going to work, he told me he was lonely and just looking … he said he never actually would have gone through with any of it, blah blah blah lie lie lie.
He swore on his love for God and his dad, whom he supposedly adored. Now I realize he doesn’t even believe in God, but gee, being a God-fearing man sure makes you look good to others!
Sex with hookers
He tried to coerce and manipulate me into swinging, having 3-somes, and having sex with another man while he watched. He would start sex with me and then just as I was really getting into it, he would stop and make me agree to a 3-some or to have sex with another woman or to have sex with another man while he watched … anything that was way out of my comfort zone … and he wouldn’t continue until I agreed.
He would say this was just fantasy and he got hot thinking about it, and so I would agree thinking we were just playing fantasy, but days later he would bring home a swingers magazine and try to get me to go through the pages and find a couple to swing with.
When I would say we were just fantasizing at the time, he would get angry and tell me that I promised him! I am glad that I held to my standards and never did any of those things I was highly uncomfortable with, but it is so embarrassing to think I put up with this for so long.
Anyway, the sex dwindled to nothing between us, he complained his hernia hurt, and I was trying to be a good wife and why would I put my husband through pain just to have my sexual needs fulfilled? Although every time I asked him to get his hernia fixed, he would complain it cost too much.
I believed him at the time. Years later, after we split, several different people came up to me to let me know he was using my camper to entertain underage hookers, and he also had a deal with a local hotel for reduced hourly rates.
The entire time I thought he had very little interest in real sex because of his hernia, he was having it with hookers and easy pick-ups. Of course, now I am glad we didn’t have much sex because after I found out all this, I was scared to death until I got my STD testing.
Oh, and by the way, not that this matters, but I was extremely attractive, and had quite a few men after me. In fact, once I found out about him and told a male friend … his comment was “if he can’t be satisfied with you, what the hell does he want?”
I am only adding this in because I did have other options, and I was sought after, and I believe that is part of why he chose me and tried to destroy me. Our entire relationship was about him trying to destroy my mind, my soul, my finances (he did succeed on that part), and my spirit.
Ruined my finances
The finances. I had a perfect credit score (830) before him. I had bought and paid off several homes, paid cash for cars, had $40K saved in the bank. I was comfortable. He went through that money.
I felt bad for him in the beginning and paid off his child support ($1500). I bought him that camper.
I invested in some of his business dealings. I believed him. I had a good heart. I was so naive. His truck would break down and he abandoned it. Someone would buy something from us and then quit making payments and he let it go. I would try to get the payments out of them, but some of his dealings turned out to be a bit shady.
And he would just get more money from me, his mother, my mom, my son. He was so believable with the stories he told, the bad luck that happened to him, such a good guy! With a good heart …who just tried to take care of everybody! Gag!
So he got a job down south making good money. He left me and the kids in a dump with way too much work to do to sell it, but I had my life savings invested in it. He told me that he was good at building and he would fix it up and make it beautiful. In actuality, he destroyed it by starting several big projects that he never finished.
Found him on Craigslist
The idea was he was going to have me and the kids move down after we got the house sold … but that is when I found him on Craigslist.
I was in shock. I lost 20 pounds in 2 months. I thought he was a good guy, a good family man. Why? Why did I think he was such a good family man when he left so many others? I mean, he always had excuses “she stole from my friend, it was mutual and we just agreed that we had nothing in interest, she was a psycho that went crazy on me.” I believed it all.
His credit was bad from a business venture with a woman he dated before me. Apparently “she was embezzling from the company.” I believed him, but now I doubt he was being truthful. Just another lie … one of thousands.
So I signed for his business truck, and I also allowed him to use my credit card. Dumb dumb dumb! But at this point I still had faith in him, and he did work this job for almost a year and was making good money.
However, after I found him on dating sites and Craigslist, I insisted he go to counseling. He decided he would rather split up with me than go to counseling.
During this time, he ran my credit card up to the max. He still owed $12K on his truck, and $14K on my card. I went on food stamps. I was broke. I ended up having to file bankruptcy (on his bills only though, because I have NEVER lived outside my means.)
So I am going to try to rebuild. Bad credit, a dump of a home, a car that breaks down every other week, no good job, depression, PTSD, and no trust in anyone these days.
I have a lot to rebuild. But I have faith in me. I will do it.

http://lovefraud.com


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

11 Lies Love Bombing Narcissists, Sociopaths (and Salesmen/Marketers) Tell

(Almost didn't recognize him without his d**k in his hands)

(YWL used these on ALL his victims and now uses them on his blog readers)



"If only we could acquire a lie detector that fit easily into our coat pocket.  Then, we would be alerted to the narcissist’s frequent falsehoods.  But alas, until those are made available, we must continue to unite against these predators through education.

Common Lies of Love Bombing
Narc Speak:
  • I can’t believe I’ve finally found you.
  • I’ve never felt so comfortable in someone’s company before.
  • No one understands me like you do.
  • You’re the most beautiful woman (or man) I’ve ever seen.
  • You have the most attractive __________ (eyes, hair, body shape, smile, dimples).
  • My Ex was a psycho, drug addict, alcoholic, schizoid, cheater, etc.
  • You’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had.
  • I think I love you.  I think I want to marry you.
  • I never got married before because I haven’t found the right person yet.
  • We have so much in common.
  • He/she pressures you into becoming intimate in a short amount of time.
Deciphering the Lies
Wikipedia defines Love Bombing as an attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection.  It’s a manipulative tactic used commonly by cult leaders and abusive predators in romantic or other intimate relationships.  Its purpose is to override the target’s critical thinking skills so that the abuser can control and manipulate.  It also appeals to the target’s vanity and insecurity.


Love is the most sought after human need.  So, when a target receives an overwhelming amount of love and acceptance, it’s very hard to analyze the reasons ‘why’ for fear of losing what they’ve desperately been longing for.  In due course, the target becomes blindly dependent on their abuser; all while being hammered into submission.

Black Hole of False Love
Love Bombing includes not only the above phrases, but also over-the-top gestures of attention.  This plays out in the form of constant calls and text messages, gifts, flowers, invites to meet his family, requests to move in together, and splashing your social media sites with cutesy, flirty messages.  Of course, these are all behaviors of people who are courting one another…but not after one date.


In predatory terms, it’s called going in for the kill.  So how can you detect when this is happening and avoid becoming a Narcissist’s target?  Let’s examine the step-by-step process from the Narcissist’s point of view:

First, they have lost their previous source of supply.  Either their former partner left or the Narcissist is in the discard phase of the previous relationship.  Since narcs cannot function independently, they experience an urgent need to replace their partner.  This is why you will find them with a new companion in a very short amount of time.  Sadly, victims who’ve been discarded suffer very low self-esteem when they discover their abuser has found someone new, when the fact is, the Narc has love-bombed a fresh candidate in order to secure a new source of livelihood.  Don’t be fooled by the imaginary happiness of the Narc with his new supply. 


Narcs don’t view people as individuals.  They view them in terms of whether or not they will be reliable supply.


Next, the Narcissist will appear to be an exact mirror of the new target, which in this case is you.  Narcs don’t possess a fundamental inner-self, so they mimic that of their potential supply.  This explains why they appear to be soul-mate material.  The truth of the matter, though, is that the Narcissist targets people with positive energy, a good job, resources, intelligence, and the like.  They couldn’t care less about you as a person.  See how this is a recurring theme?


Lastly, a true connection with a potential partner is made through getting to know someone and creating a meaningful friendship.  No one falls in love in three days.  But, the energy it takes to secure new supply is exhausting, so the Narcissist wants to ensure his efforts pay off in as little time as possible.  Instant gratification is the game…and you’re it.


It’s important to note that these statements could very well be made by partners in a genuine relationship.


 However, there should be an element of balance.  If you experience these phrases one on top of the other, especially right after meeting them, it’s overkill and should be a warning flag.  A relationship with a Narcissist is based on deceit.  The love and affection aren’t real, and they will never be.  At least, not from their side.  The only time you will witness these desired behaviors is when the Narcissist thinks you might leave.  You’ll also discover that when you’re back under his control, he becomes his true self again…an abusive, lying cult leader with you as his devoted disciple.



Infamous Love Bombers:
Charles Manson
David Koresh
Ted Bundy
John Wayne Gacy
YWL



http://letmereach.com/2014/01/19/exposed-11-lies-love-bombing-narcissists-tell/

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

"SHE CLAIMS I HURT HER!"

Yes. YWL posted that same comment a lot of places saying his abuse of me was merely claims on my part.  As if I have no proof...


Whatcha claiming lately?

Typical sociopath minimizing.  Anyone who says claims of abuse are false HAS SOMETHING TO HIDE

#ifmywoundswerevisible