tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47811488538965493252024-03-13T08:03:27.649-04:00Preyed On By A SociopathUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-8180527641465073922024-01-01T22:55:00.000-05:002024-01-03T12:43:31.813-05:00YIDWITHLID'S THREAT (March 19, 2004 confirmed)<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #444444;"><b>HERE'S WHAT I TOOK TO NYPD. I went to the XXth Precinct on March 20, 2004, to my lawyer on March 22, 2004 and to Computer Crimes in Manhattan on March 25, 2004 (when they gave me an appointment). </b></span><span style="color: #444444;"> <span><b>Look out here comes the <u>REAL Jeff Dunetz</u>! Not the charming predator who says anything to anyone to get what he wants from them. No.. here's the abusive bully who lashes out when he's caught - the psychopath who attacks when someone finds out what he really is and he hadn't yet had time to think up the lie to cover the truth! </b></span><br /></span>
<span style="color: #444444;"><b><span> </span></b></span> <br />
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<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><br /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Jeff: <i>Let me make this clear. You got me back its done !!! Next there is a call, email letter anthing to me my office or anyone in my family or anyone about me from you or ANYONE I will swear out an order of protection with the police. <br />And you better believe that the copy of it I send to [your estranged husband] will have some of the prose you sent to [YWL's wife] ..Plus some added tidbits of my own. Fedex goes to Queens</i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Barbara: <i>I read that</i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Jeff: <i>nothing on the web either - I will assume its from you</i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Barbara: <i>my estranged husband knows everything</i></b> <b><br />Barbara: <i>you cant hurt me anymore</i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Barbara: <i>what on the web</i></b> <b><br />Barbara: <i>what are you talking about</i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Jeff: <i>I am a great emglisser</i></b> <b>(YIDDISH TERM FOR B*LLSH*TTER)<br />Barbara: <i>huh? you are sick</i></b> <b><br />Jeff: <i>[your estranged-husband] might find that it was physical</i></b> <b><br />Jeff: <i>its over</i></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Barbara: <i>he already thinks that, so what</i></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Jeff: <i>Ill give him proof</i></b> <b><br />Barbara: <i>so what... you can't do anything to me [Jeff]</i> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br />Barbara: <i>that hasn't already been done</i></span></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Barbara: <i>my therapist and my doctors know</i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Barbara: <i>everyone knows</i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Barbara: <i>I just hope as your friend you get help</i></b> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />Jeff: I will see to it your children are taken away</b></span></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Jeff: <i>I am on more durgs than I will ever understand</i></b> <b><br />JEff: <i>my friend ? lol</i></b></span> <br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Barbara: <i>I pray they work</i></b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><b>Jeff CLICKED OFF THEN OR BLOCKED ME - or both. </b> <b>("prose" I guess indicates he'd already started telling his wife I was stalking him. Trying to <i>lure </i>him. Okie dokey LOL)</b></span><span style="color: #444444;"> <br /></span>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><b><br />This made me go to the Police - who, in turn, did some deep web searches and found out about the hookers - who then told Elizabeth and myself and started the ball rolling for the <a href="https://www.nydailynews.com/news/girls-article-1.216854">closing of a $3M a year brothel</a>, a couple escort booking agencies and a Temporary Order of Protection for me and my children. </b> <b><br /><br />The fact that this chat upset me so bad and the "force" of what Jeff said to me - that I had to go to the Police says one thing in retrospect:</b></span><span style="color: #444444;"> <span><b> </b></span> <br /></span>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><b> </b></span></div>
<span style="color: #444444;"><b> </b></span> <span style="color: #444444;"><b>How much he meant to me and how very little I ever meant to him. Even as a friend. </b> </span><span style="color: #444444;"><b><br /><br /><span>Apparently only Jeff says when things start and end. I was not to feel any hurt for being lied to. Or hurt for taking abuse because of him - because to Jeff I was just words on a screen, right? <a href="http://www.robertmatthews.org/psychopath_articles.html"> Like all psychopaths - he saw me and others as just objects!</a> </span></b></span><span style="color: #444444;"> <b><br /><br />The original chat is on file with source codes, verified - with the XXth Precinct, NYPD Computer Crimes and my attorney. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"> I did not alter it in any way. </span></b> <b>NYPD told me they are keeping this sealed because of the trial & conviction of 2 brothel owners. </b> <b>I had already told his wife. And that was the ONLY person in Jeff's life I told. I sent her 3 packages, as soon as I got stuff I sent it to her. <br /><br />She was only person I ethically needed to tell. </b> <b>As you can see Jeff already made up his mind he was going to lie, blame, slander and smear me. </b> <b><br /></b></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="color: #444444;"><b>And he has never fully stopped.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html"><span><span style="background-color: white;">Imagine you are a narcissist. Remember also that you have this unbearable pain inside, the pain of unbearable shame. All your life you have felt like you're inferior, not up to standards, worthy of contempt. But you keep awareness of that at bay by playing pretend that the opposite is true = that you are god and that the rest of humanity (except for the very special people like you) are dirt beneath your feet.</span></span></a></b></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">So, 99% of the time, that's what you think you are - a god. It's self delusion.</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">But every time someone treats you like an ordinary man or woman and as their equal, worthy of your consideration and respect, they are challenging your precious delusions of superiority.</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">You HATE that! Because every time they relate to you as a man, they are NOT relating to you as a god. And that makes those true feelings you have repressed surface to consciousness on you.</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">You must stop that from happening. </a></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">So, in terror, you instantly attack anyone who says or does something that reminds you that you are not God.</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">Like a three-year-old playing Pretend with her friends, you stamp your foot and yell (in so many words), "NO! You're not supposed to say THAT! You're supposed to say THIS!"</a></b> </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">You thus train the people around you not to say or do anything that conflicts with your delusions of superiority. That is, you train them to play along with your script in your game of Pretend.</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">But you cannot stop everything from happening that calls your true feelings to consciousness. And they are too painful.</a></b> </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">So, you go berserk with the pain whenever they start to surface, wildly doing anything you can to instantly repress them to the subconscious again. I often liken this subconscious-burying behavior to someone frantically shoving dirt on a corpus delicti to keep it buried in one of those old horror movies.</a></b> </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">You will do anything - ANYTHING - to prevent a moment of self awareness! Because you have this dark, unutterable terror that it would kill you. Really, you are that frantically afraid of seeing your true self in a mirror.</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">So, you are playing Pretend 100% of the time. 24-7-365.</a></b> </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="background-color: white;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">You pretend that you are not lowdown by pretending the antidote = pretending that you are a god.<span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></a></b></span></span><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">And you pretend that you are a god by treating others like dirt.</a></b></span><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">You pretend that you are not amoral by pretending the antidote = pretending that you are a saint. And you pretend that you are saint by portraying others as sinners.</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">And so on and on and on and on.</a></b> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">Bottom Line: You kill <b>your </b>pain by causing <b>others </b>pain. (In other words, like a three-year-old, you pretend that you can transfer it to others.) You glorify your image by trashing others' image.</a></b> </span><span style="color: #cccccc;"></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">In other words, you exploit people, brutally as unfeeling and inhuman as a psychopath about the <b>pain </b>and <b>damage </b>you are doing to them by this. </a></b></span><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html"><span style="color: red;">You thus make others bleed just to maintain your delusions and keep you from knowing yourself as you are.</span></a></b> <span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">Others must bleed so that you can feel good, so that a moment of self awareness doesn't make you just kill yourself.</a></b> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">Is that not exactly what the predator thinks? The wolf thinks the lamb must bleed so that he can eat and live. The wolf thinks that this is what lambs exist for - to feed HIM.</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">And that's what predators, like sexual predators, emotional predators, child predators, pyschopaths, and other brands of narcissists think other people exist for = to FEED them.</a></b> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">To kill all human sympathy in themselves (which would make it impossible for them to do what they wanna do), they just pretend that others are inferior beings, like bugs. Hence they don't relate humanly to their human victims. They relate to them as but <b>objects</b></a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">By projecting it onto others. </a></b> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">But what if you get into trouble for doing these things? What if you end up before a judge or in a psychiatrist's office? What if the neighbors find out and start looking at you askance?</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">Remember, you do everything <b>solely for effect</b>, to get the reaction you want out of these people.</a></b> </span><span style="color: #444444;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html"><span>It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what you will do. You will just switch masks. </span></a></b></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html"><span style="color: #cccccc;"></span></a></b></span><br />
<b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html"><span style="color: red;">Now you put on your "victim" mask. Your "Who-poor-little-old-me?-I-wouldn't-hurt-a-fly" act. What better place for the devil to hide? Now you whine about what a wretched childhood you had. Now, so that people don't realize that you are just a predator who attacks any vulnerable prey in sight, you say that <i>the victim hurt your poor, poor, tender feelings and that you were just lashing out in self defense.</i></span></a></b> <br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html"><span>What happened to your God-act?</span></a></b></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">You just put that away for the time being, because it won't get you what you want from people under the current circumstances.</a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/imagine-that-you-are-narcissist.html">Besides, it's funny. Your own private inside joke.</a></b> <b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"> </a></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">People don't have NPD; NPD has people.</a></b></span></blockquote>
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<blockquote>
<span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Narcissist Personality Disorder does not leave such concrete evidence around like empty bottles, mysterious car dents, drunk-driving charges or visibly injured spouses. No, it feeds on the less concrete aspects of our lives. Damage is visited upon the people around NPD sufferers, and the behavior of the NPD sufferer is explained away using countless plausible rationalizations.</a></b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">To help my own understanding, I have come up with a metaphor for the disorder and the person who is afflicted by it. The metaphor is one of a puppeteer (the disorder itself) and a puppet (the person with the disorder).</a></b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Let's explore the puppet metaphor to help understand how Narcissistic Personality Disorder works.</a></b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">The puppet metaphor illustrates what I believe is the salient challenge of NPD for those people around it: you think you are dealing directly with a person, but you are not. Instead, you are dealing with someone under the control of NPD.</a></b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Here is what I have read about and experienced first hand. Narcissistic Personality Disorder sufferers: </a></b></span> <br />
<ul>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Lack the ability to empathize. They can fake it on and off, but if you have enough exposure to the person, eventually you will see this pattern clearly. They may show zero emotion when hearing news of, for example, deep suffering of huge numbers of people. </a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">As psychiatrist </a><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Thom Hartmann</a><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"> says, they "Kiss up and Kick Down", meaning they are incapable of having truly healthy relationships. They regard other humans as a kind of resource to be used for their own ends. </a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Loathe themselves. Extensive research shows that NPD is rooted in denied love at the very early stage of the sufferer's life, and they spend the rest of their life devouring others in a futile attempt to fill this void. </a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Go from incredible highs to deep lows. When they are high, they might not be able to stop talking. When they are low, they struggle to say good morning.</a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">They fly into a rage at the slightest provocation on some days. And at other times, they seem impervious even to the most brutal attack. They might stay awake all night wrestling with a single innocuous thing you said to them the day before, and then launch at you the next day with some bizarre logical conclusion of it. </a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">When you challenge their behavior, you may quickly move from Friend to Enemy. Sufferers of NPD think in black-and-white terms. You are either "with them or against them".</a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Ultimately, they are at the center of the universe. Just like an alcoholic, they will risk a lot to get their next fix.</a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Their relationships with newcomers go through three stages that I have identified: (1) Enchantment to (2) Disenchantment to (3) Contempt. </a></b></li>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">NPD starts early and its sufferers have over decades developed an impressive range of dis-empowerment skills, from "you are being too sensitive" to talk about a person being a "good person" or a "bad person". (Who are they to judge!).</a></b></li>
<b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><span style="color: red;">They are masters at setting one person against another, and they construct a culture of distrust and hostility.</span></a></b>
<li><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">They always believe they are right. </a></b></li>
</ul>
<span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">From what I have read, NPD sufferers <span style="font-style: italic;">rarely </span>get clinically diagnosed, let alone treated. I can understand that. Just imagine waking up with the notion that you might be afflicted with this condition; you would have to build your life from scratch, even if you did believe treatment were possible.</a></b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">There are plenty of people out there who have suffered at the hands of an NPD sufferer, and extensive research has been done to be able to identify it. The Internet is awash with anecdotes, life stories, remedies and the results of research. It is called a disorder because something is broken, not because something is unusual. </a></b></span><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><span style="color: red;">Don't let others convince you that the person is just "a bit quirky" or "has a bit of an edge".</span><br /><br /> At least be honest with yourself. It doesn't matter what they say, and it also doesn't matter what I say. You have to work it out. </a> </b> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Give it time and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, if you are exposed to it in someone in whom you have personally invested, will hurt you. It's a slow nibbling-to-death process. <br /><br />First, you're attracted to this striking person because you seem to have so much in common with them, and striking they are, as they weave a web around you. They know exactly how to get attention - they've been perfecting it all their lives. What's really happening is you are being prepared for dinner. <span style="font-style: italic;">Their </span>dinner. And you are but one of their side-dishes. They never counted how many little folks like you they have consumed over the years. A spider doesn't count the flies he eats and he has no feelings for any ofthem. The fly is just dinner; that's his place in this world. When you have a relationship with a sufferer or NPD, you are the fly.</a></b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><br /><br />The preposterousness of what I have just said is one of the reasons NPD gets to go on giving for a long, long time. Few will believe until they personally get punched in the face by it. And by that time, they've moved on to new willing victims.</a></b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><br /><br />NPD destroys relationships, trust, and whole families, yet still gets to continue in full swing, for a long time. There are no empty bottles to point to, no dirty syringes, or unexplained bruises on someone's arm. A person under the control of NPD can behave perfectly normally one moment, just like the puppet sits quietly in the puppet chair while the strings remain loose, </a></b></span><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><span style="color: red;">then unexpectedly and suddenly turn on you as if you had committed some great crime against them.</span></a></b> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">The Puppet Knows he is a Puppet</a></b></span></span><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"> </a></b></span></span><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">I believe that a person under the control of NPD know that something is wrong; that something is very wrong. Often, and perhaps this is their real curse, such a person if very intelligent. They are good at working things out and they know something is definitely awry - but they are just the puppet, not the puppeteer - so it continues. Still, like so many human issues, ones "higher self" knows.</a></b></span> <span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><br /><br />The Nice Man, The Bully and the Friend.</a></b></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 130%;"><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"> </a></b></span></span><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">Imagine a chap by the name of Joe Smith. Joe shares a flat with a bully by the name of Biff. One evening, Joe is entertaining a close friend in the living room and Biff in the kitchen overhears something Joe's friend says in the living room. Biff immediately takes grave offense, storms into the living room in a rage and verbally abuses Joe's friend who gets up to leave because he is deeply hurt from the unexpected verbal assault. Joe sits there in shock about what has just happened. <br /><br />Biff goes upstairs to sleep it off while Joe gets to pick up the pieces, apologizing profusely for his flat mate's outrageous behavior, perhaps even descending into a degree of denial about it all. Joe is just a regular guy like you or me, Biff is the ever controlling NPD he suffers from, and Friend is anyone Joe has a relationship with.</a></b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><br /><br />NPD is like an unpredictable flat-mate. It might leave the sufferer alone for periods of time, days or sometimes weeks, but it always returns. Just when it looks like it's not really there anymore, it marches into the room and beats your friend up.</a></b></span> <span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: red;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">NPD will try to invalidate the feelings of those it hurts</a></b></span></span><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"> </a></b></span></span><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><br /><br />"You're too sensitive" is a common attempt at invalidation used by a person under the influence of NPD. They try to invalidate what you are feeling because you are "over-reacting" to what has happened. Ironic, really, because the person under NPD begins the emotional encounter with an overreaction in the first place.</a></b></span> <span style="color: red;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">They know how to invalidate the feelings of others.</a></b></span> <br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">This is why the Puppet metaphor fits so well for a person under NPD. You think you're talking with a reasonable person. </a></b></span><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><span style="color: red;"><br /><br />After all, they've got that great degree in physics or medicine - they must be open to reasonable debate, you think. </span></a></b> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"> <br /><br />Wrong. </a></b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"> When you try to reason with them, you will get yourself caught up in their puppet strings, and if you are not careful, will get sucked into their whole messy psycho world. That is, if you care. That is, if you have empathic skills.</a></b></span> <span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><br /><br />Lack of Empathy - the signature of a person under NPD</a></b></span></span><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"> </a></b></span></span><span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html"><br /><br />Somewhere in their past, a person under NPD was left out in the cold. They were neglected in some way that left them hurt and feeling abandoned. Not usually in a physical sense, but more likely in a way that suggested they were unworthy of love. </a></b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b><a href="http://portfolio-living.blogspot.com/2007/02/narcissist-as-boss.html">It is normal for a baby to think they are the center of the universe. <br /><br />It is normal for a seven year old not to fully connect with the teary-eyed adults surrounding the casket of their grandfather. But babies and kids grow up. They grow to learn the emotion of empathy; they grow to take on the adult burden of supporting others in the community, the family and the relationships around them. <br /><br />Persons under NPD are blind to empathy. Sure, they are masters at faking it, but they just cannot feel it. They know how to make themselves look like they're connecting, complete with speeches from the heart and teary-eyed funeral visits. But they are in the game from themselves alone. When you get that about people who have the disorder, you begin to understand just how vulnerable you really are when such a person is close.</a></b> </span></blockquote>
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<u><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author> </wp:comment_author><wp:comment_author_email>ljgurl@bntig.edu</wp:comment_author_email> <wp:comment_date></wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2007-05-06 06:26:23</wp:comment_date_gmt> </wp:comment></wp:post_password></u><br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment> <wp:comment_content>How did you ever believe a thing this jerk said to you? He's a cold, calculating snake.</wp:comment_content></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<wp:post_password><u><wp:comment><wp:comment_content> </wp:comment_content></wp:comment></u><wp:comment><u><wp:comment_author_email>hhjagr@hotmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
</u><wp:comment_author_url><u>
<wp:comment_author_ip>12.191.209.236</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2007-05-22 13:07:21</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2007-05-22 17:07:21</wp:comment_date_gmt></u> <br /><wp:comment_content>Predator. He gives men a bad name. Yes, you did wrong but in your situation he provided a sympathetic ear and then used you. He has <b>temerity </b>to complain and blame. Puts you in the hospital? Now he's mad you speak out? <br /><br /><u><br /></u></wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><wp:comment><u><wp:comment_author_email>yopkow@hotmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
</u><wp:comment_author_url><u>
<wp:comment_author_ip>61.17.167.89</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2007-05-22 05:10:10</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2007-05-22 09:10:10</wp:comment_date_gmt></u> </wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>You got taken for a ride. And now he's mad you're being truthful? Has he even attempted to talk to you? Guess this is what happens when you use someone like a sex toy and they turn out to be a human being. <br /><br /><u><br /></u></wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><wp:comment><u><wp:comment_author>
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<wp:comment_author_email>zbb55@yahoo.com</wp:comment_author_email>
</u><wp:comment_author_url><u>
<wp:comment_author_ip>71.193.131.225</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2007-06-09 00:09:11</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2007-06-09 04:09:11</wp:comment_date_gmt></u> <wp:comment_content> </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Sorry :( </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<u><wp:comment_author_email>hmjjyd@mail.com</wp:comment_author_email></u>
<wp:comment_date>2007-07-10 07:46:18</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2007-07-10 12:46:18</wp:comment_date_gmt><br /><wp:comment_content>Didn’t he say in The Story of Gridney he was “dropping it”? He has the nerve to say <u>you </u>went <i>absolutely nuts?</i> And now he posts your IP online? thats dropping it? Is he kidding? This YWL is certifiably nuts. He’s out for blood. Be careful</wp:comment_content></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_content><br /></wp:comment_content></wp:comment><wp:comment><wp:comment_author></wp:comment_author> <u><wp:comment_author_email>knwlha@hotmail.com</wp:comment_author_email><wp:comment_author_ip></wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2007-07-10 14:22:30</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2007-07-10 19:22:30</wp:comment_date_gmt></u><br />
<wp:comment_content>My GOD were you used girl! U S E D! And now you try to stop the harassment. you tell his wife (which probably ended his “fun”!) you help the cops and get them not to prosecute him And he does this? LOSER!<br /><u><br /></u></wp:comment_content></wp:comment><wp:comment><u><wp:comment_author></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>halel@yahoo.com</wp:comment_author_email>
</u><wp:comment_author_url><u>
<wp:comment_date>2007-07-10 17:18:38</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2007-07-10 22:18:38</wp:comment_date_gmt></u> <br /><wp:comment_content><i><b>Are you going to post about this **** posting your IP on <a href="http://lidblog.com/" rel="nofollow">his blog</a> to further his lies that you're some sort of stalker? When it was him who stalked YOU after he traumatized you, to every support group on the net you were on where you poured your pain out about what he'd done! <br />He’s peeved you've put this all out there isn’t he? <br />Are you going to tell about him and his buddies killing your Blog Carnival posting simply because he hates you for being truthful? <br />Or him & his buddies putting gay porn on your blog? <br />How about him deleting more of his hooker postings the minute you put the link up, as if it never happened? <br />Why doesn’t he go back to junior high were his behavior belongs? <br /><br />You are really being an angel about it all and showing a lot of tolerance and compassion. Too bad he doesn’t deserve any of it.</b> </i></wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
<br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author></wp:comment_author> <u><wp:comment_author_email>eovxue@mail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
</u><wp:comment_author_url><u><wp:comment_date>2007-07-09 13:59:28</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2007-07-09 17:59:28</wp:comment_date_gmt></u>
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<wp:comment_content>The word that comes to mind here: EXPLOITATION. You were EXPLOITED And now this YWL or whatever he’s calling himself has the nerve to be angry that you are telling the truth and putting it all out there. Unbelievable.</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><wp:comment><wp:comment_author></wp:comment_author></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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#ifmywoundswerevisible #Sociopath</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-32897020356437077902023-12-19T10:00:00.000-05:002023-12-19T10:15:55.596-05:00REASONS TO GO PUBLIC<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Iu1R2UrdhQk/VbL6j7wieCI/AAAAAAAABs0/Jvqe-PVOdK8/s1600/apologize.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Iu1R2UrdhQk/VbL6j7wieCI/AAAAAAAABs0/Jvqe-PVOdK8/s320/apologize.jpg" width="289" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>I am relieved every day that I went public with Dunetz's abuse, despite my feeling very humiliated at first. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Not</span> because I wanted revenge but as someone who believes strongly in God - I believe it is our duty to tell so the other person can get help, try to change (if possible) and help others around them. </b> <b>It is <i>horrifying </i>to realize that you were USED for free sex with lies and then told <span style="text-decoration: underline;">it's your own darn fault </span>.</b></span> <br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>But even more horrifying to not speak up about it.</b></span></h2>
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>I do not believe in cover ups - which is why I went public with my own behavior in this and what I learned happened from what happened to me. I fully realize now I was mind controlled by someone who was pulling my strings. I learned how this was done, how my own oxytocin and serotonin was used to manipulate me and get me to cross my own boundaries; and then blame ME for it. I no longer accept that blame because it was never mine to start with.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>I have gotten so many private emails from victims about this blog. They said they saw their own Sociopathic or Narcissistic abuser in what I discussed here and then I was able to direct them on to get help, validation and heal from what happened.</b> <b>The other emails are from other bloggers or net users who have had run-ins with Dunetz's ongoing hypocrisy, need for attention, and explosive anger with anyone who doesn't agree with him or cover-up for him, and so on. It has been very validating but sad that he has made <span style="text-decoration: underline;">no attempt </span>to get help for his pathology and continues to beat down anyone who holds the mirror up to him and his behaviors.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>More on rebuke, telling and the 'right thing to do':</b> </span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span>________________________ <b> </b><br />
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b>I wonder where folks get the idea that Judeo-Christians have to be meek and mild, silently enduring mistreatment, tolerating anything anybody else does, and timidly standing by while abusers trample all over them and other innocent victims. Since when is it a sin to speak out against evil? </b> </span><b><span style="color: #f6b26b;">This is what our abusers want us to believe, and <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/12/lashon-hara-from-ywl/">they just love throwing it back in our faces anytime we protest their behavior.</a> They provoke us to anger, they cause untold pain and suffering, and then when we finally speak up, <a href="http://gridney.tripod.com/">they smugly inform us that we’re not acting like “good Christians or good Jews”</a>.</span> <span style="color: #c27ba0;">This is hogwash. Abusers would just love for us to back off and be quiet while they do anything they want and get away with murder.</span></b> <span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Satan will always try to use our righteousness against us, to get us to question our faith, and to separate us from God. This is just another one of his tricks. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>What kind of awesome, wonderful, All-Good God would our Father be if he actually wanted us to allow wickedness to operate unchecked in our families and our lives? This concept is preposterous, and contradicts the perfect goodness of the Lord. </b> <b>Our God is All-Good, and the devil is all-bad. They are diametrically opposed for all eternity. God instructs his saints to take a stand against evil and fight the good fight, not to keep silent and hide in the closet. It is God’s plan that good will triumph over evil. We are the Army of God. We must put on the full armor of God and stand against Satan and his army. That is our assignment, and our destiny as a child of God.</b> </span><br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><i><b>When I say unto the wicked, O wicked man, thou shalt surely die; if thou dost not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Nevertheless, if thou warn the wicked of his way to turn from it; if he do not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul....Ezekiel 33: 8-9 KJV </b></i></span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><i><b>Answer a fool according to his folly, Lest he be wise in his own conceit....Proverbs 26:5 KJV</b></i></span></blockquote>
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<img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="171" src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/borahgrace/con_86.jpg" title="all your fault" width="291" /> </div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said/">It is truly a wonder to behold the amount of time, energy, and creativity that abusers and their Silent Partners <i>(spouses, family members, new partners) </i>will put into inventing an infinite variety of lame excuses to justify why they should be allowed to continue hurting others.</a> How much easier and more constructive it would be to just re-direct and devote all of that effort into simply changing their behavior. But They Don't Want To. </b> <b>So, whether confronting your abuser, or reading about all of his ridiculous excuses, keep in mind that all you're really asking of his, and all he really has to do, is JUST STOP IT.</b> <b>Here are the reactions we ourselves experienced when we began to set limits on our controlling or abusive relatives, as well as reactions other sisters have reported.</b></span> <b> </b> <br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU'RE MAD AT ME</b></span></li>
<li><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said"><span style="color: #333399;"><b>DENIAL</b></span></a></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/05/email-exchange-no-change-in-hate-unfortunately/">INAPPROPRIATE AND JUVENILE DISPLAYS OF ANGER</a>- GRITTING TEETH, SCREAMING, SPEEDING UP THE CAR, NAME CALLING, HANGING UP THE PHONE, PUTTING THE PHONE DOWN AND WALKING AWAY WHILE YOU'RE STILL ON THE LINE AND THEN PUTTING IT ON THE HOOK, <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/05/email-exchange-no-change-in-hate-unfortunately/">BLOCKING YOU ONLINE</a>, or SEVERAL MINUTES LATER, MIMICKING, IMITATING, OR <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/07/15/more-bizarreness-accusations-from-planet-ywl/">MAKING FUN OF YOU WHEN YOU COMPLAIN OR CONFRONT HIM,</a> ETC.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/05/email-exchange-no-change-in-hate-unfortunately/">ACCUSING YOU OF TRYING TO START AN ARGUMENT,</a> YELLING AT HIM, SCREAMING OR SCREECHING AT HIM, OR DELIBERATELY TRYING TO UPSET </b><b>HIM</b><b>.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/14/ywls-threat-march-19-2004/"><b>BECOMING VINDICTIVE OR VAGUELY THREATENING-"YOU'D BETTER BE SORRY FOR WHAT YOU SAID", AS IF YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO CONFRONT </b><b>HIM</b></a><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/14/ywls-threat-march-19-2004/">. </a>CRYING OR LAYING ON A GUILT TRIP-<i>"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY SUCH A THING TO ME", "YOU DON'T LOVE ME", "HOW CAN YOU BE SO MEAN TO YOUR OWN MOTHER/FATHER/HUSBAND/WIFE/FRIEND?"</i></b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><i>'I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF', 'THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM', 'IT'S SUBCONSCIOUS', 'YOU KNOW I DON'T MEAN IT', 'I HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING MYSELF' </i>AND VARIOUS OTHER MENTAL PROBLEMS</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME/ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT/ YOU TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">REFUSING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY RESTITUTION, AND PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.</a>'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>HE'S OLD AND NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS BEHAVIOR</b></span></li>
<li><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said"><span style="color: #333399;"><b>BLAMING YOU</b></span></a></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>'I DID IT FOR YOUR OWN GOOD'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>'<a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">WE WERE BOTH WRONG' OR 'WE BOTH HURT EACH OTHER' WHEN IN REALITY THE VICTIM DID <i>NOTHING WRONG AT ALL</i>.</a></b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>TRIANGULATION</b></span></li>
<li><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said"><span style="color: #333399;"><b>SARCASM</b></span></a></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>'I SAID I WAS SORRY' WITH NO CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR OR ACCOUNTABILITY TO YOU</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>TELLING YOU THAT <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/05/email-exchange-no-change-in-hate-unfortunately/">YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE'S BEEN GOING THROUGH OR WHAT'S GOING ON IN </a></b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/05/email-exchange-no-change-in-hate-unfortunately/"><b>HIS </b></a><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/05/email-exchange-no-change-in-hate-unfortunately/">LIFE</a>, AS IF THAT JUSTIFIES </b><b>HIM </b><b>ABUSING YOU</b></span></li>
<li><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said"><span style="color: #333399;"><b>TELLING YOU HE HAS REPENTED TO GOD FOR WHAT HE DID TO YOU, SO HIS CONSCIENCE IS NOW CLEAR</b></span></a></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">TELLING YOU SHE HAS REPENTED TO GOD SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE ANY AMENDS TO <i>YOU</i></a></b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>TELLING YOU GOD FORGAVE </b><b>HIM </b><b>AND HE DOESN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF TO YOU OR RELIVE THE PAST</b></span></li>
<li><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said"><span style="color: #333399;"><b>TELLING YOU GOD FORGIVES HIM WHETHER YOU DO OR NOT.</b></span></a></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>TELLING YOU GOD FORGIVES HIM SO YOU HAVE TO, AS WELL.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>TELLING YOU NOT TO 'JUDGE' HIM WHEN YOU ARE CONFRONTING HIM.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY</a></b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>'AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>'YOU'RE TOO SENSITIVE'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>'YOU TAKE EVERYTHING THE WRONG WAY'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/05/email-exchange-no-change-in-hate-unfortunately/">REFUSING TO HEAR YOU OUT</a> <i>'I'M LEAVING IF YOU CONTINUE TO SPEAK TO ME LIKE THIS'</i></b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">TURNING IT AROUND</a></b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>'I DID THE BEST I COULD'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/12/lashon-hara-from-ywl/">'YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM'</a></b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>TELLING YOU 'OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM'</b></span></li>
<li><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said"><span style="color: #333399;"><b>TELLING YOU YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH </b><b>HIM</b><b>; EVERYBODY ELSE LOVES </b><b>HIM</b><b>!</b></span></a></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>'YOU'RE ALWAYS COMPLAINING'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>'NOTHING I DO IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>DISOWNING YOU, <i>'I HAVE NO DAUGHTER!' <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/14/ywls-threat-march-19-2004/">"YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND"</a>"I'M LEAVING YOU" </i></b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><i>'YOU DESERVED IT!', 'YOU PLAYED MY GAME'</i> OR <i>'YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT'</i></b></span></li>
<li><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/12/lashon-hara-from-ywl/"><span style="color: #333399;"><b>ESCALATING THE ABUSE NOW THAT HE KNOWS IT'S GETTING TO YOU</b></span></a></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b><i>'LET'S KEEP THIS BETWEEN US'</i> , 'DON'T TELL ________'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #333399;"><b>PRETENDING TO LOSE THEIR PATIENCE WITH YOUR COMPLAINTS-'JUST FORGET IT!' <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">'GET OVER IT!</a>'</b></span></li>
<li><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said"><span style="color: #333399;"><b>MINIMIZING THE OFFENSE, TELLING YOU YOU'RE MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT, OR MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL</b></span></a></li>
</ul>
<b>from: http://www.luke173ministries.org</b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-5445902280498671952023-04-20T15:12:00.003-04:002023-06-18T19:55:33.968-04:00LASHON HARA FROM YIDWITHLID<br />
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<a href="http://justice4ever.com/wp-content/uploads/SocratesSlanderQuote.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://justice4ever.com/wp-content/uploads/SocratesSlanderQuote.png" /></a></div>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;"> "When caught in a lie or challenged with the truth, they are seldom perplexed or embarrassed -- they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they appear to be consistent with the lie." -</span> <i><a href="http://www.hare.org/">Robert Hare, PhD</a></i></b></span></h2>
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><span><b>All of the smearing, lying, revisionist history, blaming me, attacks and blatant refusal "to listen, bitch" have done nothing but assured me I am fine leaving this verifiable information out there. I admit I made some mistakes. </b></span><br />
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</span><b><span>I decry his actions & words against me. None of it has threatened or even upset me in anyway. </span> </b> <br />
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>Looking at <a href="http://www.jeffdunetz.com/">dunetz'old website, he admitted he left a "message" there for me</a>.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>My answer to that message <a href="http://www.jsafe.org/pdfs/Lashon%20Hara%20and%20Abuse.pdf">is THIS</a>.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>I told the police, I told his wife. PERIOD. THAT'S ALL. Everything is ON THIS WEBSITE. ALL THE INFORMATION. For the whole world to see what a naive person I was for caring about Dunetz's </b></span><b style="color: #783f04;">and his family's safety & well-being.</b></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>So let's see some of this self-reported ethical, moral, religious & observant man's postings on the web (verified by web site owners to my legal aide) or the postings of his friends and proxies about yours truly. Some because of this very site. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><i><b>(edited to protect Dunetz family and mine)</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>Slander? You decide:</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>From <a href="http://lidblog.com/">his site</a> (since removed from the web, but all legal entities concerned have verification & screen shots) to enflame others about me and this very blog:</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><i><b>A Public Record of How She continues to defame as she follows me all over the Net, Uses the Same Aggrigaters, Joins the Same Blog Rolls, Posts to the Same Carnivals etc. If this site is missing it Just means She stopped</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>Follow him "all over the net"?</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>Defame? Why doesn't he sue me if I have "defamed" him?? If he has evidence - why doesn't he? And defaming implies lying. This site has all the proof I could publish that I'm not.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>Same Aggregators? - well, yes - ONE of the many I am on he is on too</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>Same Blog Rolls? - well, yes - a couple he's on I am on too... oh btw - I was <u>INVITED </u>to some of those BlogRolls </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>Same Carnivals? Well, yes - ONE that I can think of...</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b>Um... wow! You mean he and I are on the SAME WORLD WIDE WEB?!?! Golly gee whiz!! </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b> Does that mean I am a stalker?? ROFL... I know the NYPD Computer Crimes Unit has him on their WatchList still... are <u>they </u>stalkers? </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><span><b>I can think of a few other bloggers that have a LOT MORE in common with him & his areas of interest than I do!!Hey, YWL - Wanna Join some of the "Mommy Bloggers" and "Disability Blogs" I belong to? ;)</b></span><span><br /></span>
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<span><b>I stopped? Stopped what? TELLING THE TRUTH??</b></span></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7m0yiScPMLA/VlEOI_JRqII/AAAAAAAABvE/Mll2CJZcG2s/s1600/prove%2Bit.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #783f04;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7m0yiScPMLA/VlEOI_JRqII/AAAAAAAABvE/Mll2CJZcG2s/s1600/prove%2Bit.png" /></span></a></div>
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<span><b>HERE'S JUST ONE OF HIS POSTS ABOUT ME: </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><i><b>She is <u>divorced several times</u> so goes by her maiden name of xxxxx. She lives in xxxxx She is 55 years OLD. And I mean OLD. This woman posts inoccent people on sites as this one. She claims to be a religious jew. <u>She should be shot </u>for the filth she says about people she has never met and never will. She tells horrid lies about them. She has posted at least two of her victims on this site.</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><b><i>This woman claims </i><a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html" style="font-style: italic;">YWL </a> <a href="http://www.playersandpsychos.com/search/viewSpecific.php?id=536" style="font-style: italic;"> hurt her</a><i>. Well...guess what Babs! You played his game with him. YOU had phone sex with ME. YOU! You whored yourself out on the phone. Yep! Your a whore. You blame YWL. </i></b></span></div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><i><b>(1. I have never divorced, I've been estranged many years </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><i><b> 2. Innocent? LOL</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #783f04;"><i><b>3. "should be shot" Isn't that a death threat?)</b></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #783f04;"><i><b>4. Its You're</b></i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #783f04;"><i><b>5.Im old. Got a mirror, Jeff> <br /></b></i></span></div>
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<span><i><b><span style="color: red;">Y</span><span style="color: #351c75;">ou <a href="http://www.datingpsychos.com/view_psycho.html?psycho_id=807">post shit</a> all over the net about this <u>wonderful </u>man who helps many, many people. All you do is try to pass the blame. You have made yourself look like the scum bag you really are. (Wonderful man???)</span></b></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #351c75;"><b><span>You've done this to women too. Women you don't know. Women who work hard and raise wonderful kids. You have tried to disgrace them. It didn't work. Your so fucking stupid that you didn't realize that the people who know these kind women know you have lied.</span><span><u><span> (</span>Really? like who? On this very site I posted who did what. Get a clue! ...and 'wonderful' - pardon my pukin!!!)</u></span></b></span></i></div>
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<span><i><b><span style="color: #351c75;">YOU ARE A FUCKING C*NT. A FUCKING LIER. It's come back to bite you in your smelly ass. Your name is all over the net on sites like this. You won't learn. Maybe this will help you to see the light. You owe alot of people an apology. Especially God. How the fuck do you sleep at night? Your a whore who lies. Your a mouthy bitch. </span></b></i></span></blockquote><p> </p><blockquote><span><i><b><span style="color: #674ea7;">(he really is a "wonderful" man isnt he ? he doesn't like anyone who tells the truth much)</span></b></i></span><span style="color: #674ea7;"><i> </i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>I know where you live and I know your number. Your e-mail is XXXXXXXXXX. Watch out babs. <u>I'm out to get you. Your fucked now!</u> I hate the thought of you. </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>God won't forgive you for your actions. I'm e-mailing your rabbi, XXX and many more that think they know you. Yes, I am. <u>Your done. Nodda. Good by bitch!</u></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><span><i><b>(</b></i></span><span><i><b>Again - threats???</b></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>Good by(sic)? Death threat?</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>I thought YWL was above all that) </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>Age: 55 Race: Not Entered Height: Not Entered Weight: Not Entered Zodiac: Not Entered Posted by Anonymous (yeah - that's him)</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><b>(update -- a friend sent me an email with this lie-laced comment by YWL on July 27, 2008) another post he made about me (I'm assuming this is the BS he told his wife):</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="http://www.cosmicwalk.co.za/games-projecting.html"><i><b>You were an old girlfriend of YWL from an upstate NY college. You used the internet to track him down after 30 years, which wasn't too hard because he's a published writer (braggart)</b></i></a></span></div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><blockquote class="tr_bq"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="http://www.cosmicwalk.co.za/games-projecting.html"><i><b> You had cyber-sex with him and then got him to agree to meet up with you. </b></i></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="http://www.cosmicwalk.co.za/games-projecting.html"><i><b>When he did meet up with you, to his horror, he saw that his ex-girlfriend from college had ballooned into a 275 lb fat pig with poor hygiene and he didn't want to bang you. He politely excused himself by saying he couldn't do this to his wife. </b></i></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="http://www.cosmicwalk.co.za/games-projecting.html"><i><b>You then began stalking him and his family, driving by his house, sending letters to his wife, his parents, his in-laws, his rabbi, the police, anyone with whom you thought you could slander his good name. His poor wife was left with no choice but to report you to the police after you threatened to harm her childre</b></i></a>n</span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><i><b>Sound familiar porkchop?</b></i></span></div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p>Police found that Dunetz told embellished lies in fear that his wife would catch on to his REAL life </p>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UShZZz6wEXQ/VlET56rAjzI/AAAAAAAABvU/IWgmejo8dG0/s1600/compulsive%2Bliar.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UShZZz6wEXQ/VlET56rAjzI/AAAAAAAABvU/IWgmejo8dG0/s320/compulsive%2Bliar.jpg" /></a></div>
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<li><span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>(No <u>HE tracked me down</u> - I have the certified <u>proof </u>from Classmates. com. Do you?</b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>We NEVER dated</b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>I'm a published writer too. He's mostly SELF-PUBLISHED He has to throw that in the self promotion never ends'</b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>poor hygiene? LOL projection!! I wasn't the one who sat at that lunch picking my teeth with a business card. GROSS!</b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>He never excused anything. </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>Stalking? I don't think so. Not when I was too sick to drive, in the hospital and had a Restraining Order on HIM.</b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>Sending letters to his parents, in-laws, anyone..... ON THIS VERY SITE I POSTED THE PROOF THAT I HAD <u>ZERO </u>TO DO WITH THAT)</b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75;"><span><i><b><span>Threatened to harm children? No but I do have verified proof filed with police he threatened mine) Project much?</span></b></i></span></span></li>
</ul><div><span style="color: #351c75;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div><div><span style="color: #351c75;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div><div><span style="color: #351c75;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span><i><b><span style="color: #351c75;">~~~~~~~~~~</span><span style="color: #3366ff;">~~~~~~~~~~ </span></b></i></span></div>
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<span><b>- updated February 2008</b></span></span></div>
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<a href="http://thelid.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>Dunetz posted a fake profile on me on MySpace. Used my old profile picture from StumbleUpon; which he copied. He entitled the MySpace page "<span style="text-decoration: underline;">I am a Physcotic Internet Harrasser."</span></b></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"><b><a href="http://thelid.com" target="_blank">He included my ex-husband's old phone number as my own (hoping to get me in more trouble with my ex; who knows all about him now), my home phone number and address. Said I <i>like sex and phone sex and to give</i> me <i>a call</i>. Pathetic...</a> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>The misspellings and bad grammar were DEAD GIVEAWAYS. Nevertheless, MySpace admin removed it and sent the IP from which it was posted and copies to myself, my attorney, NYC Computer Crimes and Dunetz's county Computer Crimes office in Yaphank, NY. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"><b><u>They were also going to contact his employer about this as well. </u></b></span></div>
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<h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>Mr Dunetz has directly violated a legally served CEASE & DESIST. </b></span></h2>
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>It is sad that these crimes have to go through a strict protocol to be prosecuted - often taking years - but the wheels are in motion.</b></span></div>
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~~~~~</span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>- updated July 2008 from me</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>ANYONE who hears anything from <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">D</a>unetz </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>or his <a href="https://www.blogger.com/apjmanagement@att.net">family</a>, friends or proxies about me similar to the above? Please contact me immediately as there are police reports on this already, a Cease & Desist in place and legal action is ongoing.</b></span></div>
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#ifmywoundswerevisible</p><p>#jeffdunetz<br /><br /><br /><br />
<u><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_email>anonymous@bo.net</wp:comment_author_email> <wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_date>2009-04-05</wp:comment_date></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password></u><br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_date> </wp:comment_date><wp:comment_content>You know, these attacks are ridiculous when you really look at them...<i>"he didn't want to bang you...he excused himself by saying he couldn't do this to his wife.."</i> So..apparently this long suffering guy would have done whatever he wanted under other circumstances?? Wow, he's really the poor victim, isn't he? What a tool.</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<u><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_email>8675309@att.net</wp:comment_author_email> <wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_author_ip></wp:comment_author_ip><wp:comment_date>09-05-24 23:04:59</wp:comment_date> </wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password></u><br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Jeff Dunetz you are a disgrace to your community and to your family and friends. I hope you have a difficult time ever looking someone in the eye again and that you will know that people will look at you with disgust. They will know that you are a liar and that you will go to your grave knowing that you <u>intentionally</u> caused someone physical, emotional, spiritual and financial pain</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<u><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author></wp:comment_author><wp:comment_author_email>billme@optonline.net</wp:comment_author_email>
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<wp:comment_date>2008-07-20 12:27:03</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_content> </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password></u><br /><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Not like he's so svelte or anything to write home about. He should check a mirror before insulting someone else. Especially such a wonderful caring person like you who helps so many people all the time. Did he carry childen? Have multiple surgeries ? </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<u><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_type> </wp:comment_type></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_email>melli@comcast.com</wp:comment_author_email>
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<wp:comment_date>2010-03-19 08:41:44</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_content> </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password></u><br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>There is a bible story that exemplifies what Barbara has done here. She is being a GOOD SAMARITAN, helping TOTAL STRANGERS that she found wounded and bleeding on the side of the road (the internet in this case), for FREE and for no reason other than it is the right thing to do. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Dunetz the Narc reminds me of the Serpent in the Garden of Eden. Barbara is not a two-faced back stabber, nor a player of women's minds / head games, like Dunetz has PROVEN HIMSELF TO BE. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<b><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Thank you Barbara for all you do to help people, unselfishly, and with the best of intentions. Turning your pain into other peoples gain. God bless you Barbara.</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password></b><br />
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<br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-17887312946934636262023-03-15T11:03:00.000-04:002023-04-02T18:09:51.401-04:00YIDWITHLID'S 'TOOLS'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ikutw_rzNw8/VaNGm5oyArI/AAAAAAAABrE/Z4Va5a7-D3g/s1600/means%2Bhe%2527s%2Blying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ikutw_rzNw8/VaNGm5oyArI/AAAAAAAABrE/Z4Va5a7-D3g/s320/means%2Bhe%2527s%2Blying.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
The narcissist (or sociopath) uses five main tools. These are gifts, affection, withdrawal, threats and violence and in exactly this order. <b> </b><br />
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<b>1. <span style="color: purple;">Gifts</span>: Gifts can be used in two ways. They can either be a symbol of submission or a symbol of demand. Free people generally do not give gifts because they have what they want and do not want to submit nor demand. The communication between the victim and the narcissist is based upon gifts. The narcissist gives gifts in order to make the victim depended. The victim in return accepts these gifts and returns far greater gifts in order to accept this submission. </b> <b>The altruist on the other hand simply helps but does not give gifts either. Sometimes these "gifts" can be flattery, good words, support and yes ... "love." (faked of course)</b><br />
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<b>2. <span style="color: purple;">Affection</span>: The narcissist very early on claims soulmate-ship, special connection, ultimate love. Or he makes the victim believe these things without outright declaration. Everything seems incredible and unbelievable - a dream come true.</b> <b> Free people might show each other affection but generally feel comfortable with themselves. They might enjoy the company of someone but will stay focused on their own interests. The victim seems needy due to some childhood, current or past trauma(s). The narcissist is not needy in terms of affection but need for admiration within the group of chosen victims (his partner/spouse, family members, "friends", co-workers, VICTIMS) where the narcissist keeps his or her spider-web. However, the narcissist gives this affection in order to draw the victim into this spider web.</b> <b>This is a difficult time for the narcissist because the narcissist cannot be truly intimate with anyone. Ever. Hence, intimacy is replaced by sex.</b> <b> </b><br />
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<b>3. <span style="color: purple;">Withdrawal</span>: Once the victim's dependency is re-directed onto the narcissist, the narcissist begins to withdraw. Step by step the supposed closeness is disappearing. The victim experiences this as a great loss and the narcissist finds him or herself on a high. The narcissist thinks something like: "I on't have to give gifts, I don't have to show affection, and yet I am being admired."</b> <br />
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<b>4. <span style="color: purple;">Threats</span>: The victim who remains needy is in shock that no affection is shown to him or her by the narcissist and starts to withdraw him- or herself. Now the narcissist starts to panic because the admiration seems to be diminishing and (s)he starts to threaten the victim. </b> <b>These threats are of the kind: "You are a liar. You said you loved me but now you obviously don't" or "if you loved me you'd believe me" or "you don't understand how bad I feel that you have withdrawn" or "if you loved me you would (something far outside the victim's comfort zone; usually sexually) </b> <b>Now, the narcissist resorts back to the first tools including gifts and sex and threatens that they will be withheld. Strangely enough, this has already happened but the narcissist will try to convince the victim that all is as it always used to be. In this sense these threats are imaginary only.</b> <b> </b></div>
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<b>5. <span style="color: purple;">Violence</span>: At one point the narcissist will fail to convince the victim any longer by means of persuasion, brainwashing and changed perception. Now the narcissist will resort to violence. This is the stage when abuse in the common sense takes place. This includes blocking out the victim, seducing the victim's friends, lying about the victim, rude or sarcastic comments to the victim, demanding abusive (things the victim would not normally do) sexual favors from the victim, bad mouthing, threatening them or their families or friends, hacking their email, hacking any websites, stalking them online, posting slander about them online and using the police with selective information provided by the narcissist.</b> <b> </b></div>
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<b>by Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl</b><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_email> </wp:comment_author_email></wp:comment></wp:post_password></div>
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<u><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_email>COMMENTS </wp:comment_author_email></wp:comment></wp:post_password></u></div>
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment> <wp:comment_author_url>http://masksofsanity.blogspot.com</wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content> </wp:comment_content></wp:comment></wp:post_password></div>
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_content>This is what makes me so angry. The psychopath gives you what you want ie: "Honeymoon period" for a short while then treats you like dirt once he is done "hoovering information" from you . Then the abuse rapidly climbs.</wp:comment_content><wp:comment_approved></wp:comment_approved><wp:comment_type><wp:comment_parent></wp:comment_parent><wp:comment_user_id></wp:comment_user_id></wp:comment_type></wp:comment></wp:post_password></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-45020399829029116162023-02-24T20:18:00.003-05:002023-04-02T18:21:42.849-04:00THE 'HIDDEN LIFE': WHERE PATHOLOGY FESTERS & GROW<span><description><content:encoded><b style="color: #444444;">The excerpts from this perfectly describe <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">Yid with Lid</a>... and maybe your Narcissist or Sociopath. It's the part of them that only we, their victims, know. Their coworkers, friends and probably even family are kept from seeing this dark, hidden side of them.</b> <b><span style="color: #444444;">Once they are done using us, we are smeared to embarrass us into silence and make sure that their family & friends never believe us. We are called scorned, bunny boilers, stalkers and all sorts of terms frequently used in the media... as if victims have no right to be angry at being emotionally & psychologically raped.</span></b><span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">You're not alone and most of all - YOU DID NOTHING WRONG</span><span style="color: #444444;">!</span></b></content:encoded></description></span><br />
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<a href="http://photobucket.com/images/anne%20taintor" target="_blank"><img alt="Anne Taintor icon Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i336.photobucket.com/albums/n354/littlelotte26/anntaintor2.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Are you Involved with a Sociopath?</span> </b></span><br />
<span><i><b>by CRYSTAL EVANS</b></i> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span><b>Here are signs that you are probably dating a sociopath:</b> </span><br />
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<span><b>1. <span><span style="text-decoration: underline;">You discover that he is a liar.</span></span> You find out that who he says he is does not correlate with the norm. When ones lie they often have to make another lie to continue lying. </b> <b>I met a man on line who claimed he was a high school teacher. We were speaking via messenger and I realized that <i>he could not spell simple words</i> such as humor (he spelt it 'humer'). I decided to point that out to him and he launched into a rampage. I probed deeper and he refused to tell me which high school he taught and which subject he taught. I told him blatantly that if he was a teacher then I understood why the Jamaican education system was poor. </b> <b>The Internet is the best place for omitting important information, making false claims and deception. </b></span> <br />
</span><blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><i><span><b>(which when you read this whole site, you will see Dunetzdid this to me liberally. First, in profiling me to become my 'perfect man' and <u>coerce </u>me into an inappropriate relationship.</b></span></i> </span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><i><span><b>Second, just for the hell of it - whether resentment, jealousy, anger that my estranged Husband caught us or just because it was fun - lying and twisting the truth are like breathing to him. It usually is for all pathologicals. </b> </span></i><span><b><i><span>... I have come to believe that being pathological, he really does not know what the truth is at any one time... as <span style="font-size: medium;">Dr. Hare says 'these people will adjust the truth to fit their lie.' </span> Yes, even to themselves!)</span></i> </b></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>2. <span><span style="text-decoration: underline;">He becomes angry if you question what he has told you.</span> </span>This is a sure sign of narcissism or antisocial personality disorder. It may be an indication of a control freak. It is best to cease communication with this person. His angry outburst may be a way of disarming you, trying to intimidate you into stop questioning his motives. You need to run! He definitely has something to hide.</b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>Yes, <a href="http://lidblog.com/">D</a>unetz became angry when I questioned or probed what he told me. He would then lay on the NLP and mind control stuff so that my cognitive dissonance was so deep I couldn't think straight about anything - especially him.</b></span> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><b>He preyed on my disbelief that anyone I'd know for so long would treat me like this. Later he'd lamely apologize and blame it on something else - not feeling well, his wife, job stress... whatever was handy.</b> <b>He'd also block me for a few days or a week to train me not to question him (Silent Treatment). During that time he was cybering with pros, working on other victims, writing the reviews of all the high-end hookers he'd shelled out $1000s of dollars on - I'd be left wondering what I did wrong and learning never to question him. </b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>3.<span> He is super sweet. If a man shows signs of affection too early it may mean that he is faking it. </span>If a man claims that he loves you and that you are the one for him, he may be pretending to get you to give him money or have a sexual encounter with him. He makes sweet innuendos and endearing statements that amuses and shocks you. You question how can you be feeling like this when you don’t even know how I look or if I am who I say I am? If your on line mate is doing this, it means that you have a red flag.</b></span> <br />
</span><blockquote><span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>Dunetz got away with this one <u>only </u>because I'd known him from before. He told me repeatedly how I'd been one that 'got away' and how much he'd cared for me... blah blah blah.</b></span> </span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b> It wasn't until after, in therapy, I started to remember some of the cruel and inhumane things he'd actually done and said to me in college. At the time he pounced on me online in 2002, I was struggling to deal with my severe disability, a horribly abusive marriage and 2 children I adored. The juggling act was killing me and <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>took full advantage of my weaknesses at the time.</b></span> </span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><b>Let me also say I have verified chats that show I was <u>brutally honest</u> about the weight I'd gained from my illnesses, medications and surgeries. I can prove in black & white that I sent him pictures of what I looked like now and he brushed them all away telling me he cared for me and 'didn't care' what I looked like now; that he wasn't that shallow. Of course, he later showed how pathologically shallow he truly is in attempting to bully me into silence with statements <a href="http://preyedonbyasociopath.blogspot.com/2007/07/lashon-hara-from-yidwithlid.html">like this</a>. </b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>4. <span>He becomes abusive if you refuse to meet him at this date or on line at this hour.</span> I met a guy on line once who became very angry if he was talking to me and I did not respond. He would be asking which other men I was talking to on line. He asserted that I should cease talking to them and give him his attention and time now. I laughed. I knew I was dealing with a sociopath. </b> <b>Sociopaths tend to test you by making a slip offense and then gauge your reaction, if you overlook it. It is more than likely that he will do it again. This particular sociopath will resort to name calling, telling you it is because you are ugly why you do not want to meet him and concluding that you are less of a person who does not deserve his time.</b></span> <br />
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<span><b><span style="color: #444444;">Sociopaths classically push your boundaries. <a href="http://lidblog.com/">D</a>unetz pushed first with language... then cybersex... then showing me <u>depraved </u>porn... then his masturbating on webcam... He was methodical and slow and couched everything with stuff like: "<i>delete if you can't deal with it" </i>or <i>"here's a present for you</i>" or <i>"<span style="text-decoration: underline;">YOU </span>are making me so horny that I HAVE to watch this stuff."</i> Incorporating blame-shifting along with slowly using your emotions to push the boundaries of what you'd normally find o.k. Before you know it, you're over the abyss with this person and your left with a bad case of hyperarousal and marinating in oxytocin<span> and dopamine</span> while they feel NOTHING but control & dominance over you!</span></b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>5. <span>He is stalking you on line. </span>Do you know an on line mate that <u>views your profile every day</u>? Does he send messages to your friend’s list? Does he send you emails via alternatives when you have blocked him on messenger? </b></span> <br />
</span><blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>After being caught, <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">D</a>unetz went on the attack by posting my real name, address, phone and names of my children to bully and intimidate me online... extorting men to call me or my estranged husband's old phone number for phone sex or to stop by for a 'quickie.' He used a photo I had on my <a href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/">StumbleUpon</a> page or whatever he could find. This included<a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/07/12/lashon-hara-from-ywl/"> looking up a possibly schizoid ex-'friend' who was harassing myself and four other women online; and using her to try to hammer me into silence. I had to involve the FBI to get that stopped.</a></b></span> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b><span>He also got a hold of my whole AOL Buddy list, sending lewd messages to a couple of my female friends - both of whom reported him to law enforcement. I had hard evidence he stalked my blogs, had a net-friend try to hack one of my blogs and even stole a template </span><i>(I was shown by a friend more experienced than I in source codes that <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>did do this and HOW he did it) </i><span>of mine back in 2004. Of course he swears innocence - </span><span>but with a pathological:<span style="font-size: medium;"> watch the DEEDS; never the words</span></span><span style="font-size: medium;">!</span></b></span><span><b><span></span></b></span> </span></blockquote>
<blockquote><span style="color: #444444;"><b><span>I will also never be silent about being abused by him. Ever. I speak out within reason for the sake of his children. But I will not lie.</span> </b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>6. <span>He insults people in your life that he does not know especially if he thinks that they are better than him or you value their opinion over his.</span> He calls your friend using derogatory terms and disrespects members of your family.</b></span> <br />
</span><blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><b><span>A few months after <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>and I first started talking, my sister in law (<i>who is on the other side of the political fence from him</i>) was visiting. She got online with him just to ask YWL some genuine questions about his opinion on Israeli politics. Rather than a calm answer - <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>sent her extremely rude and insulting answers; questioning her intelligence! My sister in law was very put-off. She has never forgotten and never will. <a href="http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2009/06/open-invitation-to-yidwithlid.html"> I was sent information showing me how incredibly rude he is towards anyone who isn't worshiping at his feet a number of times. </a> Pathologicals are not prone to civil discussion.</span> </b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>7. <span>He is very possessive and controlling and you have not met offline as yet. </span>This is a sure sign that you do not want to have further relations with this person. Why would someone act possessive of you without knowing who you are? Why would a man behave as if you are in a relationship with him and you have not met?</b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><b><span>Possessive? No. <a href="http://lidblog.com/">D</a>unetz couldn't have cared less - but Controlling? ABSOLUTELY! </span> </b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>8. <span>He asks you for money.</span> Asking for money does not necessarily mean he is a sociopath because he may genuinely be in need of cash. But if solicitation becomes frequent, especially without verbalized intentions of meeting in person, then you have a scam on your hands that you need get rid of him before he bilks your bank account.</b> <b>9. He drops off the face of the earth. Have you ever met a man on line that drops off the face of the earth when you have sex with him? When or if he resurfaces it is normally to reconnect sexually or take more money then disappears again? You need to get rid of this on line friend because he is apparently using you. He is exploiting you as a soon as a new supply is available he discards you.</b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>I now realize <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a><i>'dropped off the face of the earth'</i> the first time we had sex. I'd bled all over him; I found out later it was from internal BRUISING (he is NOT well endowed0 and he didn't call, stop by my dorm, enquire how I was... he just <i>disappeared</i>. He still to this day tries to tell people he deflowered me (he didn't). He made an <span style="text-decoration: underline;">assumption</span> that benefited his image (<i>including telling me I deflowered him! LOL!)</i>.</b></span> </span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>Even so, he didn't care... at all... that he'd physically injured me.</b> <b>And when my estranged-husband found out by hacking my computer, about our online emotional affair - Dunetz's response? Again - drop off the face of the earth.</b></span> </span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span><b>He also distanced himself when I was then being beaten up, abused in front of my children - <u>all because of HIM</u>. I kept my estranged-husband from going to his wife. Because I have empathy and some class. </b> <b>For 18 months <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">Dunetz found</a> every reason in the world <span style="text-decoration: underline;">not </span>to simply have lunch with me. He had me so brainwashed I didn't see it until it was too late. And the one time he did - <u>he was disgusting & rude</u>.</b></span> </span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><b>Also, the only reason he contacted me in March 2004 when everything he was up to came out? Was to play on my emotions in an attempt to silence me. He, to this day, has still NEVER attempted to apologize to my face. Dropped off the face of the earth... created a new identity <i>(which he says he HAD to do to get away from me stalking him! LOL Again, trying to gain sympathy for himself.)</i></b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #444444;"><br />
<span><b>10. <span>If your man exhibits half of the characteristics above then you should not take the relationship offline. </span>In fact, you should end it online today.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<a href="http://webupon.com/web-talk/are-you-dating-a-cyberpath-online/"><span><b>http://webupon.com/web-talk/are-you-dating-a-cyberpath-online/</b></span></a><br />
<span><b> </b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><img alt="Anne Taintor Precious Time Retro Vintage Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc269/erinalexa00/Anne%20Taintor/precious-time.jpg" /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><i><b>His entertainment drive, also referred to as "sensation seeking, excitement seeking or novelty seeking," contributes to his enjoyment of being on the go, exploring new things/people/opportunities and searching for different experiences which often leads to infidelity.</b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><i><b>Many women wonder why psychopaths are never monogamous. The psychopath‘s entertainment drive is so high that he is always looking for something or someone new and exciting. </b></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><i><b>This is also why many psychopaths are also very sexually deviant—always looking for the riskier sexual experience. This 'excitement seeking‘ drive in him serves as a 'hook-up‘ for women.</b></i> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><i><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Couple all of that with:</span> a typically very strong sex drive sexual satisfaction stemming from power and control as much as the physical sex act </b></i> <i><b>...and you have a combination for sexual acting out not likely to be quenched.</b></i> <i><b> + High Risk Taking Behavior + High sex drive <span style="text-decoration: underline;">+ High entertainment drive</span> = Infidelity in a psychopath </b></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;"> <i><b>Psychopaths are known for their social dominance, status and power drives referred to as the 'antisocial pursuit of power.' This 'pursuit of power' is a driving force behind making some psychopaths prominent leaders. This is also why we often see psychopaths in prestigious careers such as law, medicine and business. </b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><i><b>Furthermore, it produces in them the edge of competitiveness, driving the successful ones to the top of their fields.</b></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><i><b>Dr. Leedom </b></i></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-15719357334402386962023-02-07T21:02:00.006-05:002023-02-07T21:05:06.170-05:00Theyre playing your song, Yid<h3 style="text-align: left;"> your life in a nutshell, Yid</h3><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Uq9gPaIzbe8" width="320" youtube-src-id="Uq9gPaIzbe8"></iframe></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-52462250707580321812023-01-19T21:49:00.000-05:002023-01-20T19:41:12.918-05:00DOES HE FIT THE CHECKLIST ON PREDATORS?<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I</b><b>f I am honest with myself, I must admit that yes --- <a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">YWL </a>is severely disordered pathological.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> </b> </span><br />
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Characteristics of a Pathological/Abuser</span> </b></span></div>
<ul style="padding-left: 30px;">
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> superficial charm</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> self-centered</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> prone to boredom</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> deceptive behavior & lying</b></span> </li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> conning & manipulative</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> little remorse or guilt</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> shallow emotional response</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> callous lack of empathy</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> living off others</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> predatory</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> poor self-control</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> sexually promiscuous</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> early behavioral problems</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> impulsive lifestyle</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> irresponsible behavior</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> blaming you for their actions</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> truly believes his own lies</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> will turn his friends on you</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> enlists others to harass you</b></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://www.geocities.com/andifekete/index.html">SOURCE</a></b></span></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> I have <u>never </u>harrassed Jeff</b></span><b style="color: #cccccc;">. I did what I did to help his wife, his family and HIM. No matter what he thinks or tells others -- I am right with myself about what I did. One day I hope, he will reopen the line of communication with me in an HONEST way.</b><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span><b style="color: #cccccc;"> I will write CHECK if Mr. Dunetz fits this checklist</b><b style="color: #cccccc;"> So let's see if he fits, shall we?</b><div><div><div>
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><b> </b></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r128/Ice_Darkshadow/Sorry.jpg" /><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">The other type of emotionally unavailable man is unavailable due to his relationship (or relationships) with another woman (or women). These guys are never really committed to a woman. They don't see any relationship as necessarily permanent, including marriage - even if they give lip service to being "deeply committed" to the woman they are with at the moment. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!</span> </b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">In truth, however, they don't truly value their intimate relationships or take them seriously, because they are merely "playing," even though engagement or marriage hardly seems like something to "play" at. They don't take their relationships seriously because on some level - even if subconciously - they know they can find someone else who will get involved with them if their current affair ends. What else would cause someone to repeatedly play his future like a crapshoot without really fearing the outcome?</span><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span>CHECK!</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b>...</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">It is probably because women keep attempting to get close to him that causes him to keep moving from partner to partner or to keep adding partners. He is uninterested in experiencing or is unable to experience deep feelings of connection with anyone.</span> </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK! (<a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">YWL </a>told me in April 2002 that he "can't feel." This changed once he decided to move in on me to "I can't do sex without an emotional connection." <span style="text-decoration: underline;">You </span>pick the true statement.)</span> </b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b><b>...</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>What is dangerous about emotionally unavailable men is that they are not authentically emotionally responsive. They are emotionally avoidant. CHECK!</b> </span><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">...Some of these men may have a sexual addiction that fuels their pursuit of rapidly revolving, superficial relationships. Perhaps his sexual addiction takes the form of chronic and compulsive pornography use, a pattern that will diminish a man's normal human responsiveness. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK</span>!</b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b>...</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">be aware that [this type of man] will paint himself as a devoted father and husband or as an upstanding citizen of his community. Never discount the possibility that your emotionally unavailable man may have multiple hidden lives (always the case if he's engaging in clandestine extramarital affairs) as well as being an emotional predator. For example: emotional unavailability, plus life he keeps hidden from you, his wife or his girlfriend, plus the keen sixth sense of an emotional predator, plus a sexual addiction - help these pathological men thrive at attracting serial superficial relationships.</span><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span>CHECK! CHECK!</span> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">If he is a sexual addict as well he will have a hidden life of endless porn watching, masturbation, voyeurism, and even using prostitutes. Many times these men will cover their perversions with heavy involvement in community politics, their church or synagogue or doing volunteer work. And they will make sure this cover is very visible so no one suspects. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!!</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">Sexually addicted predators will not stop at you, they will go after your friends as well. They think nothing of telling your friend that you mean nothing to them and that you are possibly "imagining" the relationship. They will tell their wives the same things about you or any other woman they know insisting "she's jealous of us and is obsessed with me." They are masterful jugglers of time and people. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!</span> </b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b>...</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">a woman's availability itself is a deciding factor... "any port in a storm" will provide adequate distraction from the reality of his life. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!! (the fact he had so much time on his hands due to unemployment... do the math. If he'd <span style="text-decoration: underline;">really </span>had such fond memories of me? He would have looked me up YEARS before. All he saw was my name and that <i>'hey, maybe she'll fuck me for free since I'm unemployed right now'</i> light went off in his head.)</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">In addition to finding women who are available, these men have to locate women who are willing to violate their own emotional, sexual and ethical standards... So his challenge is to find women who, with a little encouragement will deny their values and boundaries and partake. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK! (once YWL knew how I'd felt about him all that time, he pushed for about 5-6 weeks (back & forth) ... and threw on the love bombing and NLP - I struggled but I simply couldn't withstand the onslaught in my state of mind. My trauma counselors told me this! In August 2004 they had to "deprogram" me!)</span> </b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">Womanizers also look for women who will believe their stories about their home life. Very few of them tell women how happy they are at home, how wonderful their wife is, and how they just really want to have extramarital sex with no strings attached. No, that usually isn't the story line. The story line goes: <i>"No one has ever really loved me, and certainly not my wife. She nags... doesn't appreciate me... hates sex..." </i></span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!!!</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">Women take this hook too often. ...they will be able to make him "finally feel loved... listened to... appreciated." His need is not "once and for all to be loved" as much as it is to get laid, be amused and be distracted. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">A womanizer may be highly verbal about his relationships. He may share personal information in such a way that women mistake his sharing for emotional intimacy... He knows well enough that women are empathic to tales of empty and sad relationships... </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK! (does regaling me with stories of his sexual romps with his ex-fiance and even telling me about he and his wife having sex count? And because he could have CARED LESS about me - he took real pleasure in 'twisting the knife' into me since he knew he'd hooked me and then told me "I decided. We aren't going to have sex." Also - No boundaries, my freeze response and making me feel like crap - he hit the trifecta. He'd never EVER given me a chance at a real friendship!)</span> </b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">Such men are successful when they find women who are unhappy in their own relationships. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!!!!!!!!!</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">An interesting point is that almost every woman who told us her story about getting involved with an emotionally unavailable man said it happened at a time when her self-esteem was low. [She] was coming out of a relationship situation that had damaged her self-esteem (such as being abused or even going through a divorce). Women accept far more during times of low self-esteem than they do when their self-esteem is sound. A belief that she doesn't deserve a whole, satisfying and healthy relationship is a reflection of how low her self-esteem is. If a man gives a woman who suffers with low-self esteem a little attention... then too often she willingly falls [for him]. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!! (My counselors all told me this same thing! But wait!, <a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">Jeff </a>said I "went into this with my eyes open" .. ssshhhhuuurrrreee )</span> </b></span> </li>
</ul>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><i>'I am now sorry for the pain I caused his family. Even if his wife never found out, I hurt her... which I had no business [doing]." - Ali </i> </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK</span> </b></span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: navy;"><b> </b><b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><i>"These men aren't looking for love; they are looking for a distraction from what THEY really are." - Jamie</i> </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!</span></b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: navy;"><b> ~~~</b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">The emotional predator is as bad as it gets. He qualifies as the pinnacle of poisonous and pathological... He could, in fact, be called the "emotional psychic." That's because it's his ability to intuit and sense a woman's emotional vulnerabilities that places her at risk. Webster's defines predatory as "having a disposition to injure or exploit others for one's own gain; it defines predator as "one that preys, destroys or devours." That's a good summation of this man. Who but the most <span style="text-decoration: underline;">pathological </span>among us would set out to exploit, prey on, destroy or devour? </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!!</span></b></span> </li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">He will hone in on your vulnerabilities and read you. If he likes what he </span><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">reads, he will follow up by luring you into his scary and dangerous life. </span>CHECK!</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Predators have a natural ability for reading women who are lonely, bored, needy by nature, emotionally wounded or vulnerable. The predator also has his antennae up for women who... have unfulfilled needs in their lives. ...he figures out how he can squeeze into the vacant space in your life and what you need to hear in order to allow this to happen.</span> </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK! (he was never interested in me or my life. He was profiling me. He could have cared LESS!)</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b>...</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">[they] "sense" which woman will make the best target for them. They don't know why they have this gift or how they acquired it. ...they have been working women over since childhood. A predator's intuitive sixth sense is untaught. ...an adult's skills can't compete with his abilities to scam, con and conquer. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK! (bet I was a big ego boost too - and he laughed his ass off every time he left me dangling)</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b>...</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">emotional predators also fall into the mentally-ill category, usually under the diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. Most also have hidden lives. When you couple a predator's natural instincts with a lifetime of skills honed by successfully conning, exploiting and injuring women, you have a man who is nothing short of extraordinarily smooth and capable of horrific dangerousness. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Predators' motives vary. But you can be sure a predator wants something from you. That is the entire reason for the relationship. ...There is something in you that he wants. Maybe "all" he wants is your utter adoration or for you to exalt his ego. ...Maybe wants what you can provide to help establish his image so he will marry you ('good family man'). Or maybe ...he's most interested in the pursuit and conquest of a woman... If he is a sexual predator, you are a target, whether it be for consensual sex or rape - depending on whichever way it plays out or whatever mood he is in.</span> </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!( Heavy on the <i>consensual </i>for him... but he won't admit he used emotional coercion and lies to accomplish one thing = emotional rape. Heaven forbid <a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">YWL </a>be accused of wrongdoing... ohhhh noooo)</span> </b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">A predator does not "need" the relationship. Early on... the predator is deliberately romantic. Predators are shifting chameleons who can be all things to all women. Predators are smooth as silk. ...predators are listeners who will give up very little information until they are sure it will align with your history. ...His selection is based on his need and your vulnerability. He knows it's a matter of matching need with need. The more he knows about your needs, the better he can meet them. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK! (he didn't even like me, in fact he hates me and ALWAYS HAS. What I don't get is when he had money to go back to the hookers and then Elizabeth... WHY all the times I tried to pull away or leave the relationship did he reel me back in? The only explanation could be that he liked raping my mind and toying with my emotions to amuse himself. If <a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">YWL </a>meant what he left on my answering machine "<i>I want to see you & talk to you. I don't want to lose you out of my life. You mean too much to me"</i> - no matter what he would have done something to see me and talk to me. Even now. Yet he'd rather smear and block me. BTW, I was never 'IN' his life -- despite my <span style="text-decoration: underline;">repeated </span>efforts to MAKE THE FRIENDSHIP WORK and get away from his sex-obession when he chatted with me!)</span> </b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">He has a nose for vulnerability, so women who have unmet needs "smell" especially good to him. He seeks women who need men who can "sense and know" them on almost a spiritual level. Since he is good at this, he will appear to know you well - and quickly. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK! (and the fact we knew each other from earlier in our lives & were intimate? What a coup!)</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">They like women who had absent fathers, angry mothers or neglectful and abusive husbands. Knowing that many women are trained to believe that people are basically good at heart, predators will present themselves as men of honor and virtue.... But because he is a chameleon, he will listen closely to see if you also need a mentor, an adviser on some topic, a spiritual leader, or a male friend. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!!!</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">During counseling sessions I've had with men who are emotional predators, some have verbalized their targets. One said, <i>"I look for naive women. I like a certain vulnerability to her - that she trusts humanity without asking for proof. Maybe she's been hurt a lot so there's a "woundedness" to her. That vulnerability makes them believe you, because they need to believe you."</i></span> </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK.</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Another said, <i>"I like the mentally weak - women who have been pounded down by men and those with childhoods that weren't so good. They are particularly easy."</i></span> </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK.</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">It is important to understand that each predator has developed his own unique style. He has a "type" or two of women he prefers because with those types he has mastered the approach, the dating, and the 'end.' He doesn't have to think very hard if he just uses the profile he's had success with. One predator may prefer recently divorced or divorcing women because he succeeds at playing that angle with them. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK (most probably)</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b>... </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">these guys can show a woman they definitely "get it." They show you all the attention that the jerks you've been with haven't. They say all the right lines that the men in your past could never verbalize. They are brilliant and insightful about what you need. They seem to know exactly every pain you have suffered. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">With more skill than a carnival psychic, the emotional predator can hone in on your every need, sympathize with you in such a way so that you believe you've met your long lost soulmate and sweep you off your feet... He's... more insightful than a therapist. He "knows" you the way no one else ever has.</span> </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK! (hell yes)</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">This guy moves FAST. He's got to - before you figure out what his M.O. is. Every woman should be suspect of the relationships that seem to be traveling in the fast lane on the super-highway of emotional intimacy. A predator needs to keep you so euphoric with compliments and lover's talk that you aren't listening, or paying attention. He is dripping with sincerity and clinging to every word you say. A predator wants to consummate the relationship with you right away, because time is against him.</span> <span style="color: red;">CHECK! (<a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">YWL </a>wanted me in bed with him almost immediately. Thank God I kept hedging and asking questions and demanding he slow down and be normal with me... even though he didn't. With all the <i>"I couldn't control myself if I saw you," "just talking to you is making me h*rd... I am usually not that sensitive," "you make me feel like Stanley Kowalski" --</i> what horsesh*t! <i>"I have to f*ck you soon"</i> </span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: red;"><br />Or what he told Shira <i>"I had to pull away from Barbara, the sexual tension was making me crazy."</i> Really - what tension would THAT be <a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">YWL</a>? The fact that my ex-husband found out so it was no longer convenient? Or that you didn't want to help me even though I was getting beat up on a daily basis because of you? Or could it be that I disgusted you so thoroughly and you were just having a big laugh at my profound expense? Or was it even that I was just asking too many pointed questions and you knew I was starting to figure you real motives out?)</span> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">To move the relationship along and be indispensable to you, he must act helpful, comforting and generous. Since he is working against the clock, he must find out what you need and then meet that need.</span> <span style="color: red;">CHECK (see above)</span></b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">While listening to you and observing you, he will glean a lot of information about your hobbies, interests, spiritual beliefs and value systems. He is the original identity thief. He uncovers and uses for his own purposes everything he can about what makes you - YOU. He will find you amazing, beautiful, bright and talented - like no one he has EVER met before. He will align how he portrays himself with your needs and also your interests until you feel like you are looking at your twin.</span><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span>CHECK!! (<i>"you were the most talented person I ever knew," "your breasts were always my favorite," "I loved being with you," "you aren't that fat, you are still very very lovely"</i> hahahaha!)</span> </b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">Finally, another way predators succeed with women is by preying on their compassion. Once a woman is in the grip of a predator, anything can happen. </span><span style="color: red;">CHECK!!! (read this site for that one)</span> </b></span> <span style="color: navy;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">[Once a woman sees their stories] for the crock they are and bust them for their fake opinions with them, they will try and turn the table and make it seem it was the woman who had emotional problems! </span><span style="color: #990000;">CHECK! (read post "he said" on this site. And does blocking me and refusing to speak to me with excuses like "it will hurt my wife" or "talking wouldn't do either of us any good" - um, <a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">YWL</a>? LET ME THINK FOR MYSELF. I deserve better and actually, so do you & your family & friends)</span></b></span><span style="color: #990000;"> <b> </b></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>So, how did <a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">YWL</a> do on the predator checklist? 100%?</b> <b>Wow! </b></span> <b> </b> <br />
<h2>
<span style="color: blue;"><b>ONE FOR YOU, YIDWITHLID:</b></span></h2>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<wp:comment_content><b> hotnewskates (IP: 68.199.197.157 , ool-44c7c59d.dyn.<span style="color: #e69138;">optonline</span>.net) E-mail : twisterjoker@gmail.com </b></wp:comment_content><br />
<wp:comment_content><b>URL : Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=68.199.197.157 <br />It sort of seems that you have created a system/checklist basically freeing yourself from any wrongdoing in the relationship at any level (I just glanced, but am I wrong in saying that you were the other half of an affair? Is only one person in a relationship responsible for the actions that need two people?) Are you just saying that you are an innocent sheep, never getting your own needs or desires met? Honestly from what you've written, it seems like you got entangled in a relationship that didn't end up as you would of liked, and because you didn't get the desired result, are thus bitter. Unless you are of some superhuman moral absolution, you have to admit that your own personal bias and resentment and residual feelings are intertwined into the overall message of this post. Or maybe I just haven't encountered a psychopath. Or maybe I am one? Or maybe I'm with one? What a scam.</b></wp:comment_content> </blockquote>
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<wp:comment_content> ~~~~~~~~ <i> </i></wp:comment_content><br />
<b><wp:comment_content><i>Looks like <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">J</a>eff Dunetz(aka hotnewskates above) or one of his sycophants paid me a visit! LOL <br />So I am posting this because it shows so clearly the selective machinations most Pathologicals show when called on their nonsense: </i></wp:comment_content></b><br />
<b><wp:comment_content><i>1. I didn't create that checklist, brainiac Please tell me where you got YOUR medical degree? <br />2. I never didn't take responsibility at any time. Typical Pathological attempts to pick out one 'sore spot' (not sore at all, LOL) and pick at it. Obviously you can't read... or simply don't want to educate yourself. Amazing what arrogance & stupidity together sounds like! <br />3. My "needs"? Sounds suspiciously like <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">J</a>eff... or one of his proxies. I had NO NEEDS when I was first contacted and none of my real needs were met in any way, shape or form. YWL/Jeff never befriended me, never allowed me to meet his family or vice versa, never was honest or real with me in any way and never treated me as a human being with respect, empathy and consideration. So no, none of my needs were met. I was brainwashed to meet HIS needs and his needs only. Nice to feel like an object who has no right to feel used or abused. This was not about my needs in ANY WAY. <br />4. My understanding and integrating that I was brainwashed, lured & groomed comes from the counseling and help I received at a clinic for people with severe PTSD and at least 3 well-known therapists in Trauma. I suggest you take up the 'accountability' issue with them. Oh and be sure you take your Medical Degree with you when you do. <br />5. If my 'personal bias' as you call it, includes supporting women through the PTSD and aftermath of relationships with Pathologicals, preventing suicides and educating men & women about pathology and it's effect on all our lives... as well as the 100s of thankful emails I have gotten then I say - gimme' more of THAT kind of bias & scam! <br />6. <a href="http://barbarany_9.blogspot.com/2009/01/youre-just-bitter.html" rel="nofollow">Bitter</a>? Nah. No longer naive, no longer trusting, no longer dating and dealing with permanent, diagnosed PTSD? sure. Moving on and using what I have learned to validate, support & inform others? Absolutely! <br />Isn't that scorned woman, bunny boiler, stalker stuff getting kind of old? I don't have that kind of time to spend on a soulless predator... I'd rather use the knowledge to help others, it's much more gratifying. So go ahead friends, let educate this Cluster B poster... if we can! Or is this merely projection and another Pathological's gaslighting scam? <br />Most reputable therapists & psychiatrists are stopping that BLAME THE VICTIM mentality now... and the "it takes 2 to tango" baloney... thank GOD it was explained to me and I was shown how I was methodically and diabolically used, manipulated, brainwashed, hypnotized and so on... before you throw accusations get your facts straight. Don't believe me - read some of the other comments here. <br /><br />Really hurts to find out you're a PREDATOR who PREYS on real human beings, doesn't it. I'd be happy to recommend a place to get help... unless you see nothing wrong with using and abusing people this way. Unless you ARE one and you see nothing wrong with exploiting people like objects, using women for sex objects and having zero empathy for them when you throw them away like used tissues.</i></wp:comment_content></b></blockquote>
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<wp:comment><wp:comment_author></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>cindibear@yahoo.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_author_ip>98.14.11.174</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2009-11-06 21:25:40</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2009-11-07 02:25:40</wp:comment_date_gmt>
-<wp:comment_content>
<![CDATA[<b>"The </b>]]>
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<wp:comment_approved>1</wp:comment_approved>
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<wp:comment_parent>0</wp:comment_parent>
<wp:comment_user_id>0</wp:comment_user_id></wp:comment_type></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><b>NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) illusion of superiority is a
facet of a generalized disdain for reality. These individuals feel
unconstrained by rules, customs, limits, and discipline. Their world is
filled with self-fiction in which conflicts are dismissed, failures
redeemed, and self-pride is effortlessly maintained. They easily devise
plausible reasons to justify self-centered and inconsiderate behavior.
Their memories of past relationships are often illusory and changing. If
rationalizations and self-deception fail, individuals with NPD are
vulnerable to dejection, shame, and a sense of emptiness. Then they have
little recourse other than fantasy. They have an uninhibited
imagination and engage in self-glorifying fantasies. What is
unmanageable through fantasy is repressed and kept from awareness. As
they consistently devalue others, they do not question the correctness
of their own beliefs; they assume that others are wrong. The
characteristic difficulties of individuals with NPD almost all stem from
their lack of solid contact with reality. If the false image of self
becomes substantive enough, their thinking will become peculiar and
deviant. Then their defensive maneuvers become increasingly transparent
to others"</b> (Millon & Davis, 1996, pp. 405-423). Sharon C. Ekleberry -- Dual Diagnosis and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_type><wp:comment_user_id></wp:comment_user_id>
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<wp:meta_key></wp:meta_key></wp:commentmeta></wp:comment_type></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content></wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></blockquote>
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<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>One of two possibilities: <br />1. The "person" who wrote the commentary is either unaware or ignorant about the impact a pathological can have on a non-pathological and this "person" lacks the necessary knowledge and insight to understand that impact. <br />2. The "person" who wrote the commentary is a mutant mole, also known as a personality disordered creature and can't stand for the "light" of truth to be revealed. After all, moles scurry underground in the dirt and darkness and are completely blind. The "moles" of either species cause tremendous damage. But the damage caused by the furry kind with huge paws and sunken beady eyes can be easily repaired. <br />On the other hand, the damage caused by the mutant mole is usually permanent. <br />Yes, it does take <i>2 to Tango</i>...but the pathological starts out Tap Dancing and never stops!! The pathological tap-dances around every issue, every feeling, every truth, and everyone!!</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_email>on.xxx@btinternet.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_author_ip>78.149.53.104</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2009-11-07 18:10:29</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2009-11-07 23:10:29</wp:comment_date_gmt>
-<wp:comment_content> Do I smell a RAT? Well, from what I read in the post above from "hotnewskates", it sure seems that way... I'm certain that the author is either the said "rat" OR one of his sychophants with that same old, "she asked for it" crap the predators spoon-feed them with.....Blah-di-di-blah-di-blah!!!! If it wasn't so sickening, it would be funny! <br /><br />Who the hell do you think you are!? All Barbara did was TRUST that piece of crap! And, after she got through the initial painful trauma of the wicked things which were done to her, with what little energy she could muster decided to help other women who have been through something similar to her. Women like me! This lady is at the total opposite end of the moral spectrum to the vile creature who used and manipulated her. <br /><br />Don't you understand, SHE WAS ABUSED BY HIM TO SUCH A DEGREE SHE NEEDED MEDICAL INTERVENTION!? If you are one of the cyberpath's "sympathisers", maybe you could do us all a favour and keep your pathetic, ignorant opinions to yourself! OR, if you are actually "IT", then you can expect your karma bus to pull up any minute! You know something? You're not fit to fasten her laces! YUK!</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><wp:comment><wp:comment_author><br /></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>tiffanys1184@hotmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_author_ip>76.186.158.243</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2009-11-08 15:47:47</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2009-11-08 20:47:47</wp:comment_date_gmt>
-<wp:comment_content> How transparent skater-dude! Wow, you obviously know <b>NOTHING </b>about the horror of being involved with a pathologically disordered person. Perhaps because you are one yourself?? I find it very interesting how you seem to be <i>personally </i>attacking the blogger's story as if it had something to do with you. Otherwise, why would you be here, with an obvious chip on your shoulder instead of a calm, intellectual debate? <br />Go back to your victimizing of those who don't know better, poor things that they are</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment> </blockquote>
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<wp:comment><wp:comment_author></wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email>psychopathnextdoor@googlemail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url>http://masksofsanity.blogspot.com</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_author_ip>84.13.173.244</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2009-11-08 15:49:42</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2009-11-08 20:49:42</wp:comment_date_gmt>
-<wp:comment_content> <br />This sounds like a typical reaction (email) from somebody who A: <i>has no empathy </i> or B: <i>Doesn't understand what a psychopath is, nor how devastating it is to be in a relationship with one. </i> or C: <i>is one themselves. </i> <br />The commenter obviously has no idea how manipulative the narcissist/sociopath can be. We -- as the discarded targets of said sociopaths -- do NOT desire a perfect, on cloud 9, flying ponies shitting rainbows relationship, we wanted a relationship that was 2 sided in it's giving/taking capabilities. We wanted and strived to treat the narcissist how <i>we </i>wanted to be treated. We all know a relationship isn't perfect, we all have our own issues and wrongdoings, we admit these, freely. We are not blind , and we all know fully well that the dreamy hollywood love isn't real. We don't have unrealistic expectations! It is give and take , not <b>take take take</b> which is what a narcissist lives by. <b><br />The narcissist lives his life using fiction - LIES We as the targets/victims live with reality - TRUTH. </b> And finally, we as the discarded targets of sociopaths spent the entire relationship admitting we were wrong, apologizing, appeasing, giving, loving, pleading, begging and forgiving. Even when we were not the guilty party. <br />So <b>no one has the right to stand up and point fingers at us accusing us of being unrealistic, guilty and irresponsible.</b></wp:comment_content><wp:comment_type><wp:commentmeta><wp:meta_key></wp:meta_key></wp:commentmeta></wp:comment_type></wp:comment>
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</div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-11155864931062599752023-01-12T11:28:00.000-05:002023-01-13T20:19:11.630-05:00The Courage of Confrontation and Accountability Contrasted with the Hostility of Accusation and Blame<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>by </b><description><content:encoded><b>Michele Toomey, PhD </b></content:encoded></description></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><description><content:encoded><b>michele@mtoomey.com</b><br /></content:encoded></description></span>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><description><content:encoded><b>A confrontation takes courage for many reasons, not the least of which is the self-revelation it requires. In a confrontation, we make a deliberate decision to reveal in an honest, straight forward way, how something has affected us.</b></content:encoded></description></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><description><content:encoded><b> </b> </content:encoded></description></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> We are always vulnerable when we reveal how we have reacted to something that has been said or done to us. Sharing our reflections on what we are thinking and feeling as we ponder our reactions is a very intimate process. It means leaving ourselves unprotected as we tell the person we are confronting how they have hurt, angered, intimidated, insulted, or disappointed us. </b></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>If they cannot hear what we are saying without getting defensive and attacking us, we are vulnerable to their hostile reaction.</b> <b>If, on the other hand, they treat the information we've shared in a respectful way, an exchange can take place and self-revealing by both the confronter and the confronted can lead to greater understanding of each other. Needless to say, we would hope the latter response would occur, but, the risk is there and the uncertainty is another reason why we need courage to confront.</b> <b>The potentially hot situation of confronting another can easily backfire or explode. Both the confronter and the confronted must be willing to reveal and claim why they said and/or did certain things that are hard to claim. Both must be courageous and honest and dare let go of their defensiveness or any other self-protective mechanism as they dare reveal themselves so they can understand and be understood. They must reveal what was going on for them that prompted them to say or do what they did.</b> </span><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">A confrontation is an encounter that takes place on</span> </span><span style="color: #e69138;">fair grounds between equals, and it requires that both the confronter and the one being confronted expose what they were thinking and feeling when the exchange took place and be accountable for those thoughts and feelings.</span></b></span><span style="color: #e69138;"> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Accountability is an essential ingredient in a confrontation. It keeps the confrontation honest and fair. To be accountable is to claim one's part and in the claiming to begin to understand what needs to change in order to interact fairly and respectfully. If a confrontation is successful, the honest accountability and the clarity it brings, will move things in such a way that the issue at hand can be dealt with differently. Greater understanding of what's going on for both the confronter and the confronted will lead to greater respect and care for their feelings. This, of course, yields an intimacy that allows relationships to become a special gift to be treasured. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<b> </b> <b>Confrontation requires courage but it can yield the very desired results of deep intimacy with true caring and mutual respect.</b> <b>Since a confrontation calls for exposing a deeper level of one's self in an interaction, it addresses what's going on for a person underneath the words being spoken. It is not a conversation about the content of what is being said, but about one's relationship to what is being said. It begins by having the confronter reveal the underlying thoughts and feelings she/he had in response to what was said or done, and then moves to the one being confronted. The one being confronted is then called on to respond on that same level, and reveal what was going on for him/her when the exchange took place. As the conversation goes back and forth on this deeper level, each person continues to claim what was going on for them and be accountable for how they expressed themselves when unspoken thoughts and feelings were being triggered by the exchange.</b> <b>The conversation goes back and forth with revealing, claiming and accountability on each person's part, providing clarity and understanding of what was going on for each person. The confrontation ends with accountability being established for the thoughts and feelings and words and behaviors that contributed to the confusion, hurt, anger or fear experienced by either person. </b> <b>As an outgrowth of the clarity that comes from claiming what was going on underneath the words or the behavior being confronted, a certain intimacy occurs between the persons participating in the confrontation. They have communicated on a deeper level, closer to their core, and they are better known to each other as a result of the confrontation.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Future encounters should reflect what has been understood and learned from the confrontation. There should be accountability marked by mutual respect for what has occurred. This sets the stage for further encounters that are not as potentially stressful or hurtful, and not as dependent on intimidation or blame. Accountability calls for claiming with respect and fair play whatever goes on, went on in the past, or occurs in the future. It does not stop with one confrontation, it only begins there.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: red;">In contrast, an accusation rips away at the other person's layers of protection and attributes bad motives to what lies underneath. The purpose is to blame, judge and punish. It yields defensiveness and guilt, and has neither fairness or respect in it.<span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span></span></b></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">Instead of an exchange, it is an attack. Battle lines are drawn and casualties occur.</span><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span>Rather than an encounter between equals, it is a power struggle to establish the superiority of the victor and the inferiority of the defeated.</span> <span style="color: #cccccc;">Someone wins and someone loses. </span><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">R</span>ighteous indignation rather than respectful exploration characterizes an accusatory attack. Intimacy and clarity are never an outgrowth of such antagonism.</span></b></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"> <b>In an accusation, attack and blame call forth defensiveness and counter attack. Ridicule, sarcasm and anger are the weapons, and the encounter leaves the embattled participants gloating or guilty. If guilty, then there is shame and punishment to deal with, not accountability and integrity. Communication is not the purpose of accusation and communication does not transpire. Altercation does.</b> <b>It is, therefore, not acceptable to rely on accusation and blame to protect ourselves from feelings of hurt, confusion, fear or anger. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<b>However, neither is it acceptable to just ignore what we are feeling and then build up resentment and walls. The withdrawal that results from not addressing unresolved feelings is also a hostile act. It is both hostile to the one withdrawing and to the one being withdrawn from, because it closes the door to one's self and to others at a time when conversation to resolve the feelings needs to take place.</b> </span><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">Intimacy can not occur when unresolved feelings are left unaddressed and a protective distance behind a silent stony wall separates the self from itself and from others. The barrier is not a friendly one. It is meant to keep something and someone out. </span><span style="color: red;">Feeling shut out and shut off when the integrity of our system calls for being connected and flowing in and out means our system is violated by the withdrawal of communication within ourselves.</span></b></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"> <b>It also means that the other relevant person who is being shut out is being violated as well. There can be no understanding or intimacy without communication and the alienation that occurs with a "shut out" is uncomfortable or even painful if the person values intimacy. Unfortunately, a withdrawer has had to shut itself down in order to find safety in withdrawal. It may seem to the withdrawers that there is no price to shutting down, but what they will one day discover is that they are no longer able to be present.</b></span><br />
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</span><span style="color: navy;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">That is a painful outcome. </span><span style="color: red;">They are, therefore,eventually only a shell of themselves, alienated, never intimate with any depth of intensity because they have systematically shut themselves off to their own intensity.</span></b></span> <span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>The first violation of shutting down, therefore, is to the self who shuts down. The subsequent violation, however, is to the other who desires intimacy with the withdrawn person. Withdrawal is the ultimate weapon. No intimacy can occur as long as the withdrawer stays withdrawn. The only recourse is to withdraw as well. This resolves the issue, but at a great cost, an alienating distance that cannot be bridged by anyone but the one who chose it, leaving others powerless.</b> <b>It is, therefore, in our best interest to learn to confront and to be confronted, and to be accountable and demand accountability. We can then experience intimacy with ourselves and others in a way that fulfills our greatest need, the need for knowing and being known, for caring and being cared for, and for feeling a true sense of belonging and intimacy. Neither accusation or withdrawal will provide this. So once again life takes courage. In this instance, the courage to confront.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>http://www.mtoomey.com/courage.html</b></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-86644998354177565502023-01-01T22:24:00.000-05:002023-01-02T01:36:00.252-05:00FULL DISCLOSURE<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>I want to be crystal clear about why I did this blog: </b> </span><br />
<h1 align="center">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>BECAUSE I GOT SICK OF BEING LIED ABOUT. </b></span></h1>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>My friends kept telling me to stop ignoring it - so I did. Now that I have done it, its out. (And NO I will NOT publish <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s hooker reviews. Throwing up in the ladies room at 1 Police Plaza was enough for me with those.)</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: red;"><b>I got tired of his projection - calling me a harasser, a stalker and a liar. Not because it hurts but because when it's PROVEN he lied? He just gets louder and more caustic and more hurtful to others.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span><b>I have nothing to hide except my naive and trusting nature. </b> <b>There have been some things said about me. I could say YWL's post is more full of slander and b.s. than Fox News... but I won't. </b></span> <br />
<ul>
<li><span><b>Things said about my credibility and what appeared to be my actions: </b></span></li>
<li><span><b>- If, as asserted, YWL and his wife did <i>hire computer consultants</i>? They need a refund. </b></span></li>
<li><span><b>- I <span style="text-decoration: underline;">never</span> got a police warrant, a cease & desist or anything from any lawyer, ISP or anyone, anywhere at anytime. If you think I did, please show me the document I would have HAD to have signed for legal delivery. Please. I'd like to see it. </b></span></li>
<li><span><b>I did hear from Suffolk County Police - when I was BETWEEN hospital stays. I told them everything. <a href="http://www.co.suffolk.ny.us/police/2nd.htm"><i>(re: Det. D'Agnostino and Sgt. Best, Huntington Station Police Department, NY)</i> </a></b></span></li>
</ul>
<span><b>Also, I should mention that his "detective friend" who was investigating me for "harassment" was <span style="text-decoration: underline;">very very shocked</span> to find out I am disabled. The detective even called my doctor to confirm (he asked me for her number). </b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span><br /></span>
<span><b>Det. D'agnostino called me back and wanted to know if <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL knew</a> I was disabled. I told him ABSOLUTELY he was very aware, my ex-husband had chats where we talked about it and sent them to him along with the IP confirmations. He called me and was quite surprised. I distinctly remember him telling me he had no idea <span style="text-decoration: underline;">because I had been presented as one step away from being a violent stalker. </span></b></span><br />
<span><br /></span>
<span><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">He also had no idea I was estranged, a parent with two young children either.</span> </b> <b>I repeatedly invited the Detective to come and I would take him to lunch or breakfast because I was too ill to drive to Suffolk County (which my doctor confirmed). He turned me down.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span><br /></span>
<span><b>I also sent them the confirmation obtained from Classmates.com that YWL paid for a membership to get some emails - mine included - <span style="color: red;">and <span style="text-decoration: underline;">he contacted ME</span>. I was not "stalking him for years" as he's been telling his friends. </span></b></span><span style="color: red;"><br /></span>
<span><br /></span>
<span><b>I had no idea where he'd been after we lost touch in 1976 <span style="text-decoration: underline;">nor did I care</span> until HE contacted me.</b> </span><br />
<h3>
<span>
</span><span><b><span>His Sargeant (Sgt. Best) later called to say it was dropped because </span><span>they couldn't find <span style="text-decoration: underline;">any </span>corroboration that I was harassing or <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">stalking YWL </a>and his wife. (seen below)</span></b></span></h3>
<div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span></div>
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<span><b>But I was followed to a <a href="http://groups.msn.com/narcissisticpersonality%20disorder">support group</a> by YWL and he checked my blog for weeks... by YWL. (see post on this blog "Stalker or Just Checkin' "). </b></span><br />
<span><br /></span>
<span><b><span>WHY did <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>do that?</span><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span><span style="color: #e69138;">AFRAID OF WHAT OR WHO I WOULD TELL???? - I really have no idea why someone who found me so "pathetic" and "a nutjob" spent his time following me around to SUPPORT GROUPS? Then called ME a 'stalker who has been after him for years'....</span></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>ROFL! </b> <b>Wait! I get it. BEING ON a support group for victims just PROVES I am a "nutjob" right? </b> <b>And going to the hospital for vomiting so bad I burned a hole in my esophagus or for PTSD just PROVES I am "crazy", RIGHT?? </b></span><br />
<br />
<span><b><b>Accusations have been made. I was journaling here just for myself but many people told me to make it public. I would only do so without causing any further harm to the man (<i>whom I will only refer to as <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a> herein</i>) and his family, any of the women I counsel, or innocent parties. </b></b> <span style="font-size: large;"><b><b>I am going to make it very clear, including hard proofs, where I stand and why. </b></b></span></span><br />
<span><br /></span>
<span><b><b>Accuse me and malign me. Its ok. God knows the truth - I have no reason to turn myself inside out to prove myself to anyone. I have zero to hide </b></b> <b><b>Some friends suggested that <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a> is still seeing Elizabeth and has gone back to a new brothel. That may or may not be true. I don't know. Its not my business to know.</b></b></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y211/nyctwinmum/Make_Everyday_Worth_It_by_111414.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<span><b><b><span>And let me make this clear: Revenge is wrong, harassment is sick and wrong. Talk to God and if you need psychological help - get it.</span><span></span> </b></b></span> <b>________________________________________________________________ <b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b></b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b><b>Below is just one of the many emails I sent to "exposure" sites where YWL was posted - with his real name and sometimes his personal information! I have redacted same.</b></b> </span><br />
<br />
From: Ms Barbara C [mailto:barbarany_9@xxxxx.com]<br />
Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2007 1:21 PM<br />
Subject: Mr. JXXX Dxxxxz, gridney, yidwithlid - posted on your site <br />
<br />
To Whom It May Concern:<br />
I must respectfully request that your remove the above mention person from your site or database immediately. I did not make this post but someone. My reasons are detailed below: <br />
<br />
I am now a domestic violence advocate. About 5 years ago I got coerced into a very cruel & inappropriate relationship by an old friend from college. It was a very stupid decision in a very dark period of my life. There was another woman involved and I have not heard from her since a short time after the incident. <br />
<br />
The trauma from the ending of this wrongful relationship put me inthe hospital, in counseling, in touch with other survivors. Should you need to contact Mr. DXXXtz to verify this or forward this email to him for comment, his blog says his new address is yidwithlid@XXXX.com. <br />
<br />
He may construe this as some further harassment on my part. <br />
<br />
If you would like to speak to me, I can provide you with my number and full name and location. Thank you for your help in advance. <br />
<br />
Barbara <br />
_________________<br />
<br />
From: <admin@cheatersexpose.com> <br />
>To: "'Ms Barbara C'" <barbarany_9@.com> <br />
>Subject: RE: Mr. Jxxx DXXXtz, gridney, yidwithlid - posted on your site <br />
>Date: Tue, 6 Mar 2007 14:05:28 -0600 <br />
>MIME-Version: 1.0 >Received: from nat.nationwidehosting.org ([74.52.90.194]) by bay0-mc5-f21.bay0.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.2668); Tue, 6 Mar 2007 12:05:42 -0800 <br />
<br />
>Received: from adsl-68-93-121-242.dsl.rcsntx.swbell.net ([68.93.121.242] helo=desktop)by nat.nationwidehosting.org with esmtpa (Exim 4.63)(envelope-from <admin@cheatersexpose.com>)id 1HOfun-0001Kw-Llfor barbarany_9@xxx.com; Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:05:19 -0600 >X-Message-Info: LsUYwwHHNt3660MmjhEvYg2f34OAemlK3oXsmRrh6gU= >X-Mailer: Microsoft Office Outlook 11 >Thread-Index: AcdgJQ/jZNR9DafURhywR2/mEpWBjQABRhhQ >X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.3028 >X-AntiAbuse: This header was added to track abuse, please include it with any abuse report >X-AntiAbuse: Primary Hostname - nat.nationwidehosting.org >X-AntiAbuse: Original Domain - hotmail.com >X-AntiAbuse: Originator/Caller UID/GID - [47 12] / [47 12] >X-AntiAbuse: Sender Address Domain - cheatersexpose.com >X-Source: >X-Source-Args: >X-Source-Dir: >Return-Path: admin@cheatersexpose.com >X-OriginalArrivalTime: 06 Mar 2007 20:05:43.0129 (UTC) FILETIME=[D1FD7490:01C7602A] > <br />
<br />
>Barbara, <br />
<br />
<b> > ><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: red; text-decoration: underline;">The post was not made by you, and the poster never alleged to be you. The IP was different as was the full ISP number.</span></span></b> <br />
<br />
>The posting has been removed since we received your >request and proof that this was confidential material possessed by you and NYPD. <br />
>I hope you are getting your life together. <br />
>Administrator, >Cheaters Expose > <br />
_____ <br />
<br />
> To: admin@cheatersexpose.com <br />
<br />
You are absolutely right.<br />
I hope this serves as a cautionary tale that cheating hurts everyone. <br />
<br />
I am not interested in dating at all. I have devoted my life to my children, helping others who have been cheated on & abuse victims and cleaving to God. Thank you for removing it. I will have to do more investigating to do to see how far this has gone. <br />
<br />
Barbara<br />
<br />
<b> ___________________________</b> <span><b><b><br /><span><br />I will write more about what happened - in the interest of FULL DISCLOSURE. This will include pertinent emails and so on - along with full headers from the emails to vouch for their voracity. <br /><br />I will make this public if I decide to.</span></b></b></span><span> <b><b>I am sorry and thank you all for listening and reading. <br /><br /> My father, of blessed memory - once told me his biggest problem was he was a bad liar. "No one likes a truth teller, Barbara." <br /><br />So far he's been right. </b></b></span> <br />
<h2>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">I pray that somehow someone learns and the record set straight. I have always told the truth because I do believe the truth DOES set you free.</span></b></span></h2>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><b>Barbara<br /><br /><br /></b></b></span>#ifmywoundswerevisibleUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-78844649165014611422022-12-09T16:20:00.003-05:002022-12-09T16:47:39.671-05:00THE UGLY BYSTANDER<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://jeknetwork.typepad.com/.a/6a00e554e887238833015436d91d21970c-pi" /></b> <span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: purple;"><b>by <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html">Kathy Krajco</a></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><span><b> </b></span> <br />
</span><div class="post-body">
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><span><b>I think the misplaced sympathy out there for narcissists comes from people wishing to push unpleasant stuff out of their minds so that they have but selective awareness of an event like narcissistic abuse.</b></span><br />
</span></div><div class="post-body"><span style="color: #ffd966;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><span><b>When we say that narcissists lack empathy, we mean exactly that. In plainer language, they are brutal, treating those they abuse subhumanly. Their callousness is something one must see to believe. Often the victim cannot get his or her mind around it and goes into a state of shocked disbelief of their own eyes and ears.</b></span> <span><b>When narcissists see that they are drawing blood, they get sadistic.</b></span> <span><b>This behavior makes no sense till you remember why narcissists do this. They are stomping you down to elevate themselves. </b></span> <i><span><b>In doing this, they are morally trampling you to have something to thump their chests about and give a Tarzan yell.</b></span></i> <span><b>They get HIGH on treating others like dirt.</b></span> <span><b>So, keep a tight grip on that fact: they don't do it because it's evil; they do it because it makes them feel good. They are sick in the head. They have unbearable pain/shame inside that keeps trying to surface to consciousness on them. <i>This pretending to be grand by stomping you is just their way of killing that pain by keeping it repressed.</i></b></span> <span><b>Abuse is an addiction with narcissists. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span><b>The more they degrade you, the bigger dose of this high they get. Which is why they are sadistic.</b></span> <span><b>So, here you have them abusing their victim in cold blood sadistically. Then, when the victim complains, they turn around with their little Wouldn't-Hurt-a-Fly mask on for the bystanders, whining about their need to "<i>heal.</i>"</b></span> <span><b>Yes, THEIR need to heal.</b></span> <span><b>Some folks don't know a joke even when it slaps them in the face like that.</b></span> <span><b>Right out of the bystander's mind goes what's on the other side of that coin - what that angel-faced narcissist just did to that victim. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span><b>In other words, they take this "Poor-Little-Me" act out of context.</b></span> <span><b>More important, the bystanders thus avoid having to know what they know about such phony face changes = that the narcissist is diabolical and laughing up his sleeve.</b></span> <span><b>All they let themselves see is whiny angel-face before them right now. Because it's warm and cuddly and doesn't rattle their cage or require them to do anything about anything.</b></span> <span><b>Or cross this guy they are suddenly afraid of.</b></span> <span><b>Ah, that whiny little angel-face he has, upon whom they misplace their wretched sympathy.</b></span> <span><b><i>Then they go off and correct the VICTIM for wrongdoing.</i> Yes, that's right: some folks don't even know a joke when <i>they</i> tell it.</b></span> <span><b>The victim has sinned by feeling angry or wanting a divorce or wanting to retaliate so as to make the abuser stop it. THAT'S the only sin the ugly bystander sees. Nothing the narcissist did gets a peep out of him or her about it.</b></span></span> <br />
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<h4>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>SOME EXCERPTED COMMENTS:</b></span></h4>
<dl><span style="color: #e69138;">
</span>
<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c5559969754707255447" title="c5559969754707255447"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c5559969754707255447" title="comment permalink">2:59 PM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>I saw the same thing with my ex. She was very pushy, but if anyone ever pushed back, she became this huge victim. Same dynamic.</b><b>Here is the thing I finally discovered: With this dynamic, you can never win and this technique keeps them from every growing and moving out of the narcissism. If every time they are challenged on some statement they make, they retreat into victimhood, it means that they are avoiding the substance of the argument. It is a truth avoidance mechanism. They aren't interested in any truth. They are only interested in being heard and and seen and if someone disagrees with them, then wilt into victimhood.</b><b>As usual, it is always about image.</b> </span><br />
</dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span></dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
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<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c8567294200878156706" title="c8567294200878156706"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c8567294200878156706" title="comment permalink">3:45 PM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>I've had some of these apologist bystanders in my life, and I have absolutely no use for them. In my opinion, they are the only ones in the room more cowardly than the narcissist.</b><b>I have come to believe that when they take the narcissist's side because they are afraid of the him, <i>at least half of them are trying to convince themselves that they are righteous, rather than afraid.</i></b><b><i>They take the path of least resistance, and when they are giving you that "You overreacted" crap, they are trying to believe it themselves</i>, so they can push down that voice inside them that says, "You're afraid of the bully, you're just a little coward."</b><b>And they are little cowards, too, those bystanders. If it isn't your battle, fine, then stay out of it. Otherwise, shut the hell up. <i>Don't try to calm me down or play peacemaker just to hide from your own discomfort.</i></b> </span><br />
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<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c627770398611270595" title="c627770398611270595"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c627770398611270595" title="comment permalink">5:08 PM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Two-faced, relentless sadistic abuse and butter-wouldn't-melt con artistry sounds like the N I know.</b> <b>But you can't blame bystanders for not seeing <i>when even the target of abuse is repeatedly taken in by the lies, denials and gaslighting.</i></b></span><br />
</dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
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<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c6923263688167646823" title="c6923263688167646823"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c6923263688167646823" title="comment permalink">5:50 PM</a>, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321" rel="nofollow">Kathy</a> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>"...you can't blame bystanders for not seeing..."</b><b>Not seeing what? That he's insincere? I think you can blame them for that. And yes, the victim unsees too. Only because the victim doesn't WANT to see, not because it's hard to see as you imply.</b><b>The victim has very strong temptation into denial. Much stronger than the byestander. Much better excuse.</b><b>But even the victim will eventually face facts and tell you that he or she is angry with themselves for refusing to see what was staring them in the face.</b> <b>So where is the byestanders confession to that effect?</b> <b>And the bystander has no excuse for saying, "I'm going to the north pole" and turning to head off south. <i>It's preposterous for their only criticism to be OF THE VICTIM. It's preposterous for their sympathy to be FOR THE VICTIMIZER. And I have too often said how absurd it is to regard feeling as a sin. There is no excuse for anti-logic.</i></b> <b>I understand the bystander's fear of the narcissist and fear of getting involved. That is legitimate. But then to turn around and find the only fault you find IN THE VICTIM - that deserves contempt. <i>Virtually every victim gets this treatment from bystanders. <u>Narcissists just play them like fiddles.</u></i></b><u> </u> </span><br />
</dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span></dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
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<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c8419925904511853710" title="c8419925904511853710"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c8419925904511853710" title="comment permalink">12:21 AM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>on the topic of bystanders trying to calm you down or be peacemakers...... When you've been targeted one too many times and actually speak up for yourself, suddenly the bystander is there trying to "make things better"</b><b>Where were they before? That is the big question. Because they could have said something a multitude of times before, when all sorts of stuff was happening, but they didn't. They only say something when they can say it and feel like they know better, that they know more, that they are more mature, or have more insight into the world and human nature than you do. Some bystanders honestly want to make you feel better, because then they feel better; you know the type, the people pleasers. But I have found the majority of bystanders are in it for the moment of celebrity that they feel when they get to use there powerful problem solving and peacekeeping skills.</b><b><i>What I hate about bystanders is that they actually try to make you quiet down, like its a crime to show any emotions good or bad.</i> I would like a bystander to ackowlege the targeting, but if for some reason they are in denial about that, then really can't they just let you say your part. </b><b>Why can't they be your witness and hear your story?</b> <b> Deal with the discomfort of knowing that there is "bad" people in this world. These are the same people that say "turn that frown upside down!" in a non ironic way.</b> </span><br />
</dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span></dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
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<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c2261667898344446760" title="c2261667898344446760"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c2261667898344446760" title="comment permalink">2:13 AM</a>, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321" rel="nofollow">Kathy</a> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>I think these comments about the bystanders nail it.</b><i><b>Add it up: they do nothing to counter the abuse, only speaking up to stop the victim from feeling free to do anything to put a stop to it or even act like it is happening.</b></i><i><b>Those actions speak louder than words. The bystanders take the evildoer's side. There is no denying that. That is contemptible, not matter how holy the halo they put on it.</b></i><b><i>They are enablers of the abuser.</i> Like accomplices who work the situation for him to allow him to keep getting away with it. They shut the victim up for him. They call the victim naughty for even just feeling his anger, thus helping crush the victim into abject submission to the abuse.</b> <b>The term "innocent bystander" is an oxymoron. Like Hitler, narcissists know they can count on a high percentage of people to do this for him if he just puts on his whiny victim mask so that they can PRETEND they are righteous, not traitors betraying you to abuse.</b> <b>After studies of the contemptible behavior of the bystanders during the Holocaust, an inscription was placed on a monument to it (in Israel I think) that says something to the effect: '<i>Never again be a victim; never be a perpetrator; and never, never, never be a bystander.'</i></b> <b>Amen. Bystanders suck.</b> <b>To make them stop blaming the victim for rape, society had to make it politically incorrect to do so. It's about time society did the same thing with all forms of abuse. <i>Bystanders won't stop serving as a proxy for abusers till people get slammed for doing it.</i></b> </span><br />
</dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span></dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
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<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c1767348365583459246" title="c1767348365583459246"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c1767348365583459246" title="comment permalink">3:50 AM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Witness the shameful abandonment of the victims and opponents of Saddam Hussein and his tyrannous regime by the 'Stop the War' coalition in Britain.</b><b>It is impossible to appease a bully, which is why so much of this conflict-resolution crap plays into the hands of psychopaths. They are simply not singing from the same hymn-sheet as everyone else.</b> <b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c7083521590344892880" title="c7083521590344892880"></a> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c7083521590344892880" title="comment permalink">4:21 AM</a>, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321" rel="nofollow">Kathy</a> said... </b> </span></dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Woah! Thank you for that balm on my jet lag. As you can see, I'm operating in your time zone!</b><b>Seriosusly, I agree. It's the same thing on a massive scale. A way of looking the other way and masquerading this ugly and callous betrayal as the opposite - as, of all things, "humanitarian concern."</b><b>No matter where you go in the world people do this. Narcissistic and psychopathic bullies who become dictators like Hitler, Stalin, and Hussein are cynics who exploit this mass behavior like every narcissistic bully does on a smaller scale. The Islamofascist movement is collectively behaving just like that.</b><b>And how can we expect Muslims to stand up to it when they see the West afraid to?</b> <b>I think the only hope is to shame people for behaving this way, because reason and true morality bounces off the forehead of a hypocrite.</b> <b>I say to them: If you want to stay out of it, fine. Your choice. <i>But when you turn on the victim and demonize those who do have the courage to step up and take action (for the offense of putting your cowardice to shame by their example), you are sinking to the gutter</i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b><i> </i></b></span> </dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
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<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c896668056613158379" title="c896668056613158379"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c896668056613158379" title="comment permalink">11:39 PM</a>, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321" rel="nofollow">Kathy</a> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Join the club. I doubt there is such a thing as a victim of a narcissist who doesn't beat themselves up over having put up with it for so long. At some point you have an epiphany and see what you've done = the horrible "asked for it." By doing that, we give the N a carte blanche to abuse us; we lay down to make a nice door mat; we make it OK to abuse us because there is no response to that abuse. No complaint. No demand to even just stop abusing us. How abject. And so on. </b></span></dd><dd><br /></dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>I'm sure I don't have to describe how low we feel when we realize what we've done - how it actually TEMPTS the abuser! It's like staking out a lamb in the backyard of a wolf.</b></span></dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><i>Then we alternate between anger at ourselves for it and anger at those influences in our life that trained us to think it is evil not to be a spineless wimp who keeps turning the other cheek and bending over for it with a smile.</i> </b><b>But the pain subsides. Since we are not narcissists blame doesn't kill us. We can let it lay where it may. We accept our responsibility and ARE FAIR WITH OURSELVES. Because we were influenced and trained to make this mistake. The important thing is that we stop making it.</b><i><b>Ironic, eh? We have to repent turning the other cheek.</b></i> <b>I don't know whether you're there yet or not, but you will get there. To the point of being at peace with yourself about it. (Largely because you don't do it anymore.)</b> <b>Also, notice what the bitterness has been about here. Not about bystanders keeping out of it and doing nothing -<i> about the bystanders landing on the VICTIM. Trying to supress the victim's complaint and turn the victim into docile victim, a glutton for punishment who just keeps taking it as though it ain't happening</i>. THAT'S what makes the victim furious with the bystanders, righteously furious. We see right though them, and it ain't a pretty sight. But that isn't what you're talking about.</b> </span></dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span><br />
</dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
</span>
<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c4178436427360255270" title="c4178436427360255270"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c4178436427360255270" title="comment permalink">6:01 AM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>thanks kathy. the second post i tried didn't get through and was pretty elegant last night- let's see if i can get close now. i said something about how innocent bystander IS an oxymoron. it makes me think. i hated being an 'innocent bystander' only i choked on the word innocent. i felt helpless- but mot innocent.shoot i really can't remember what else i said. something about how having the words to put with it all is helping. anyway thanks for your site. thanks for being here. jt</b> <b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c2549558145543241451" title="c2549558145543241451"></a> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c2549558145543241451" title="comment permalink">6:05 AM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">gh</span> said... </b></span></dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Ah, thanks for this one, Kathy -- always a good reminder. When I divorced my N, certain friends and family seemed to go out of their way to continue nurturing a relationship with him -- and he with them, for <i>what better way to perpetuate abuse than to try to lure away the people who should be there to support and encourage the victim?</i></b><b>At first, I excused it, thinking as one commenter said above that I could hardly blame them for being taken in by his act when I myself was taken in for so long. They were just being good people for giving him the benefit of the doubt, right?</b><b>Then it hit me --<i> to give *him* the benefit of the doubt, they had to deny that same benefit to me. </i>The day one of my supposedly oldest and closest friends berated me for not taking my marriage vows seriously and not doing enough to try to make it work, a light switch flipped. *I* didn't do enough?? All my ex had to do to save the marriage was to stop abusing me. He wouldn't/couldn't/didn't do that. In pointing the finger of blame at me this supposed friend necessarily had to accept his song and dance that he was trying everything he could and had to reject (or, better, turn a blind eye) to my side of the story.</b><b>There is a time, sure, that you can excuse the bystanders for not seeing. WE do our part, no doubt, to cover for the N while being abused. <i>But when you speak out about the abuse and the bystanders choose to blindly accept the N's stories, this is the ultimate betrayal. </i>All you can do then, I think, is run from these "innocent" bystanders as fast as you can. They'd rather see you continue to suffer than to have to give up their comfortable ignorance.</b></span> </dd><dd><br /></dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
</span>
<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c9153704396985343408" title="c9153704396985343408"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c9153704396985343408" title="comment permalink">8:14 AM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Once again I am struck by the intelligence, sincerity and similarities between yourselves and all of the rest of us. I believe and have been shown this CELLULARLY, that narcissistic abuse only happens to the BEST of us, and hopefully we each can take our journey of healing and make something astonishingly beautiful of our lives.</b></span></dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b> </b></span><br />
</dd><span style="color: #e69138;">
</span>
<dt><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c8438564816415224587" title="c8438564816415224587"></a>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c8438564816415224587" title="comment permalink">10:35 AM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said... </b></span></dt>
<span style="color: #e69138;">
</span><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Hey Guys, Stop! There we go again blaming everyone but the cruel manipulator who's evil makes no sense and totally diarms all within reach of it. What my son said out of hurt and pain toward his brother who he loves but does not like is, "I can't do anything because he'll burn my sh__!' That's crude but it is the bottom line, we put up with it to survive and protect our property. </b></span></dd><dd><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b><i>Narcissists manipulate, throw unreasonable and frightening tantrums, lie, and cheat (and usually this is how they treat those they claim to love) to get the things most of us would just ask for.</i> </b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>They don't make any sense and they frighten us. It is easier to be angry at ourselve or those others who innocently stand by because it is safer than showing anger toward such a creature that makes no sense and we have no idea how they will react.</b></span></dd><dd><span style="color: #e69138;"><i><b>Let's focus on putting the blame where it is due.</b></i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>At <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html#c8438564816415224587" title="comment permalink">11:05 PM</a>, <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said... </b></span><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Thank you for all the comments on bystanders. My psycho ex turned so
many people against me who I remain disgusted with as they had the
audacity to tell me to calm down and not be upset. This sick man
tormented me on the Internet for months and got a large group of people
to help him. Never trust anyone who tells you not to be angry. <u>You have a
right to your anger</u>.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span></dd><dd><i></i> </dd><dd></dd><dd></dd><dd><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html"><span style="color: purple;"><b>Source</b> </span></a></dd></dl>
<br /><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content></wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-68237738050619202342022-12-08T11:29:00.000-05:002022-12-09T01:00:18.452-05:00STALKER... or "JUST LOOKIN'?"<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i332.photobucket.com/albums/m344/RehabDied/stalker.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="stalker" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i332.photobucket.com/albums/m344/RehabDied/stalker.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Just a couple weeks after [<a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>]s extramarital activities were found out and we had our "falling out" <i>(he never contacted me after threatening me</i></b><b><i>, never tried to speak with me or explain</i></b><b><i>... I guess that's his definition of ...uh ...falling out)</i>, I was checking the hit meter for <a href="http://barbarany_9.blogspot.com/">my personal blog</a>.</b> <b>I stopped short. My PTSD anxiety hit the gas. I was actually shaking. </b> <b>I was being watched. Yes, me - the "stalker"! I was being stalked! </b> <b>By <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I double and tripled checked and sent it to a geek friend and yes, he was on my blog. Regularly - maybe once a week at least.</b> <b>I told my counselor, who knew I loved writing and having <a href="http://barbarany_9.blogspot.com/">a blog</a>. She advised me to find a way to block him from <a href="http://barbarany_9.blogspot.com/">my blog</a> if it was so triggering to me. I didn't want to take it down and start over. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I have been blogging since 2002. I really had nothing to hide. Unfortunately, my blog platform does not yet allow for IP blocking.</b> <b>Finally I decided to take down<a href="http://barbarany_9.blogspot.com/"> my blog</a> for 36 hrs and posted this:</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<b>************************</b> <b> </b><br />
from my blog, barbarany9<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>Apologies to my other readers & visitors while I face a personal situation head on here. Scroll down for my usual blog fare.</b> <b>Hi [YWL ]</b> <b>I know you are coming here.... looks like Saturdays after or before Shul.</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>Domain Name optonline.net ? (Network) </b><br />
<b>IP Address 24.47.134.# (Optimum Online (Cablevision Systems)) ISP Optimum Online (Cablevision Systems) </b><br />
<b>Location Continent : North America </b><br />
<b>Country : United States (Facts) </b><br />
<b>State : XXX </b><br />
<b>City : XXXX </b><br />
<b>Operating System Microsoft WinXP </b><br />
<b>Browser Firefox 2.0 Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.8.1.3) Gecko/20070309 Firefox/2.0.0.3 Javascript disabled </b><br />
<b>ARIN location: XXX XXX Drive, XXXXXX XXXX, XX 11XXX</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>Time of Visit Mar 26 2005 9:50:07 am </b><br />
<b>Last Page View Mar 26 2005 9:55:17 am</b> <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>Please read on.</b> <b>I have so many questions: but one big one - since you found me so disgusting, pathetic and unworthy what did you want to find out with this search? : </b> <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>Referring URL </b><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>http://www.google.co...BARBARANY_9&btnG=Search</b> <b>Search Engine: google.com Search Words: barbarany_9</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Do you feel better now that you know every forum or site I may be on? </b></li>
<li><b>Who's the REAL stalker here? </b> <b> </b></li>
<li><b>Does it make you feel good to see the pain & agony you have caused me? </b></li>
<li><b>That I am spending time still trying to unravel myself? </b> <b> </b></li>
<li><b>Are you still wrapped up in feeling sorry for yourself or blaming me and calling me a stalker? </b></li>
<li><b>Have you checked if its really me who's doing it? </b> <b> </b></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>I hope you get help. Ongoing, long term help.</b> <b>This had nothing to do with jealousy or obsession - but with doing the right thing. </b><br />
<br />
<b>I had a feeling about<a href="http://www.julienyc.com/"> Julie's brothel </a>and your online sex-partner ads long before - I kept asking... hoping you would open up to me. But you didn't - you just continued to make it very clear that you wanted nothing further to do with me except use me. </b><br />
<br />
<b>I could have gotten you help.</b> <b>Now you're representing me as "fixated" with you, harassing you and "too much of a temptation" for you to be in touch with me FOR REAL. You're painting me as 'out to hurt your wife' when YOU were the one who hurt her. The police and my attorney has chats where YOU said some very nasty things about her and I STUCK UP FOR HER!!</b> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>I heard you are trying to make sure everyone hears your story, your "version" of what happened that paints me like some avenging harpy. </b> <b>I got the big hints that I went from college mercy-fuck to internet freebie for an unemployed old acquaintance.You said many things about me in college when you thought I didn't hear you. Then you painted your own special picture of me to Elizabeth and I bet now to everyone else. I get it.</b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> I GET IT.</span></b><br />
<br />
<b>Put on your big boy panties and leave me alone.</b> <b>The truth is out there. Anyone who really knows you, will believe it. No matter how hard you try to couch them as "lies" and "falsehoods'; no matter what you've been able to convince your wife and family of... the TRUTH and DOCUMENTATION is staying out there. Forever.</b><br />
<br />
<b>- Barbara</b></blockquote>
<b>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</b> <b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Additionally, as a safety precaution I told the owners of a couple online support groups for panic, anxiety & trauma I belonged to that the NYPD were watching my accounts. They asked for <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL's IP number</a> and the IPs the NYPD were using, they didn't want myself or any of their users hassled. I got them and turned them over.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Not 36 hours after doing this TWO SUPPORT SITE OWNERS told me <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL had been</a> on their sites... after googling my id and clicking to my posts!! </b> <b>I flipped out. </b> <b> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>I wasn't safe anywhere. I would never be safe again. I didn't sleep for days.</b> <b>I left the MSN Groups but they REFUSED to remove YWL's photos or the story - I begged. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>I only wanted support for my PTSD... </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>YWL took ZERO responsibility for what he'd done to me - and god only knows what Elizabeth was doing!</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Eventually my therapist got me to reclaim that ID and not run and hide, not create some new identity. </b> <b> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>I was nothing and no one to him. I'm not entitled to be hurt, upset and yes - angry. I would be happy to discuss it all like adults but he won't speak to me - because I supposedly hurt his family on purpose because I am some sort of desperate stalker? He'd rather attack, attack, attack. </b> <b> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Silly me, I thought at least I could be a cordial adult and be polite. It is a good article.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Unfortunately <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>& I belong to the <a href="http://www.israelforum.com/">same blogging community</a>. Got to wonder what he's told his <a href="http://mrbagel.blogspot.com/">REAL friends</a> there about me; since he did mention me in this post. It is sad he will go to any lengths to silence the truth. That's why this blog will remain up, for MY peace of mind... no one else's. I am doing this for ME. </b></span></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial Unicode MS;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://groups.msn.com/narcissisticpersonalitydisorder">"You are dealing with a totally delusional human being, who builds his own fantasies about his reality and believes his own pathological lies. How can you possibly hope to have a healthy relationship with someone who bases his whole existence on deceit? IMPOSSIBLE! And don't kid yourself - They know exactly what they are doing - They prey, victimize, and devastate</a>."</span></span></b></span></span></span></blockquote>
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<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Of course we are to cut <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>all sorts of slack for my 'hurting him, his family, etc.' but<span style="text-decoration: underline;"> no slack </span>for me being completely traumatized, ending up in the hospital a few times, being unable to drive or do much for weeks thereafter, dismantling my computer (according to him I was supposedly stalking & harassing him then. I wonder how I did that with NO COMPUTER???) </b></span><br />
<br />
<b>--<span style="color: red;"> <span style="color: #e69138;">noooo, somehow he stalks me and reads all my pain & anguish but HE'S THE VICTIM.</span></span><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/04/93/9c/04939c9b48959d0e8d5da1970cb74655.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/04/93/9c/04939c9b48959d0e8d5da1970cb74655.jpg" /></a></div>
<b>He still takes ZERO personal accountability. Scary. </b><span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;">Heaven forbid any of us were a real human being not some THING that could be clicked off with his mouse or blocked on IM, huh?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #cccccc;">(Note: At this time I knew nothing about Sociopathy and how they operate. YWL is TEXTBOOK.)</span></b></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-9331141149371983932022-09-14T23:00:00.000-04:002022-09-15T21:14:31.487-04:00APOLOGY? NOT!<b><span style="font-weight: bold;">FROM: <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>TO: Elizabeth_Green@###.com,</b><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Barbara <i>[<span style="color: purple;">lewd misspelling of my last name</span>]</i>@###.net</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/"></a></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">DATE: 3/26/2004</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: red;">I </span>am writing down every day. <span style="color: red;">I </span>see the pain <span style="color: red;">I</span> cased every second of very day. <span style="color: red;">my</span> wife crying (sometimes she throws up) every day and ail cause of <span style="color: red;">me</span>. <span style="color: red;">My</span> kids having no interpersonal relationships because <span style="color: red;">I</span> have been selfish ant too lazy to give them the attention thy deserve. <span style="color: red;">I</span> have a friend <span style="color: red;">my</span> [clergyman] who <span style="color: red;">I </span>made feel so uncomfortable by mixing him up in all this Even quitting the #### was selfish. .<span style="color: #33ff33;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: #f1c232;">And <span style="color: #cc0000;">I</span> am also profoundly sorry for the pain that<span style="color: #cc0000;"> I</span> have cased to you both. Every Day<span style="color: #cc0000;"> I</span> pray to God to relive your pain </span>and that of <span style="color: red;">my</span> family. and then <span style="color: red;">I</span> pray that he bring <span style="color: red;">me</span> closer to [Him] in mind and spirit. so <span style="color: red;">I</span> can change the kind of horrible person <span style="color: red;">I</span> have been.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Babrara you are right about those 12 steps but they take time...the first one was discussing it all and that goes way beyond<span style="color: red;"> my</span> time on line it goes to the way <span style="color: red;">I</span> relate to my family help <span style="color: red;">my</span> kids,. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: red;">My</span> rabbi says to do true teshuva, <span style="color: red;">I </span>have to change, and <span style="color: red;">I</span> am working on int,,,</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">it is a lng drawn out process.,.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: red;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: red;">I</span> got rid of aol adn yahoo and only have the original MSN <span style="color: red;">I</span> dont go ton here, <span style="color: red;">I </span>was advised to no longer put my self in oppottunities where <span style="color: red;">I</span> have to be strong at least untill<span style="color: red;"> I</span> have shanged form the creep<span style="color: red;"> I</span> was, .</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Someday with God’s help<span style="color: red;"> I </span>may be a decent human being again.. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Am truely sorry for the pain <span style="color: red;">I</span> caused and all <span style="color: red;">I</span> can say is that a<span style="color: red;">i</span> sm trying to make that person go away</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Ihis is from the heart, wheater u believe or not.</span> <span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></span> <span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Isn't YWL's 'apology' above a perfect example of this?:</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span> </span></span> <br />
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<u><span style="color: red;">How NOT to Apologize when you have Seriously Fucked Up.</span></u></h3>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>1.) <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Apologize in email. </span> Hey, why should you actually have to FACE the person you harmed and DEAL with the real consequences of your actions - like the fact that they might still be hurt and upset? It's so much easier to do it from a distance - that way you can go around telling everyone how you made all this EFFORT to rectify things. </b> <b>If questioned on this, you can fall back on your old excuses about how the other person is j<i>ust too scary</i> to face in person. (People you have betrayed aren't usually very compliant). Call them scorned, a stalker or obsessed. Say it will hurt your other friends or family. Ignore the fact that this avoidance is completely contradicting any statements you might make about "taking responsibility" for your behavior (see below). </b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<b>2.) <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Make sure the "<a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">confession</a>", er, apology comes MONTHS or years after the incident.</span> It's just too much work to actually own up immediately afterwards. Let's face it, you're not after any real resolution, and you are not offering any kind of restitution - you are looking to assuage your guilty conscience and buy absolution, and, if you play your cards right, <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">you can get attention for your act of "bravery" in coming forward</a>. If it's absolution you are looking for, why not join the Catholic church instead? </b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>"Powerful and sneaky people use apologies as end runs around repentance. They betray a trust; and, when they have been found out, they say they are sorry for "mistakes in judgement". They smile through their oily apologies when their crime calls for quakes of repentance. They get by only because we have lost our sense of the difference between repentance for wrong and apologies for bungling.... We should not let each other get away with it. A deep and unfair hurt is more than a mere faux pas. We cannot put up with everything from everyone; some things are intolerable. When someone hurts us deeply and unfairly [deliberately], an apology will not do the job; it only trivializes a wrong that should not be trifled with." -- Lewis B. Smedes, "Forgive and Forget"</b></i></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>3.) <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Use generic sweeping statements, so that you don't have to own up to, or deal with any specifics. </span>This is a great way to avoid any REAL acknowledgement for the stunts you have pulled, while giving the appearance of sincerity. As Dr. Phil (C. McGraw) says: </b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #f1c232;"><b>"Acknowledgement is a no-kidding, unvarnished, bottom-line, truthful confrontation with yourself about what you are doing or not doing, or what you are putting up with in your life that is destructive. It's not some pious, phoney-baloney, half-hearted rendition of what you think they want to hear. Nor is it a watered-down, politically correct 'confession' that you think will buy you closure at the expense of truth. I mean brutal reality: slapping yourself in the face and admitting what you are doing to screw up your life. This also means admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you're doing, however sick or subtle those payoffs are." </b></span></blockquote>
<b><span style="color: blue;"> <span style="color: #cccccc;">And God knows, real acknowledgement and acceptance of responsibility is not what you were after or you wouldn't have apologized in email in the first place. </span></span></b><span style="color: #cccccc;"> <b> </b></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>YWL are you BUTTHURT?</b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>4.) <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Try to evoke sympathy for yourself as part of the apology</span>. Use worn-out lines like "It may not mean much to you now...". Thank the person for their past "support" of you in your (largely self-inflicted) trials and tribulations as a not-so-subtle reminder of how "rough" things have been for you and your other friends/ family. You can also use this as a way to look magnanamous and introspective while avoiding taking any real action. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Whine about how you are <u>finally working on your "issues" </u>(never mind that you have been saying the same thing for years), as if that is supposed to mean something real. Avoid <i>any </i>discussion about what you are doing *specifically* to work on those issues. After all, (despite your previous litany of lies) the person you are apologizing to should trust that you really mean what you say this time, right? </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Talk about how you are finally accepting responsibility for the consequences of your behavior, and then avoid making any effort to talk to the other person face to face. Talk about how you miss the fun you had with the other person (<i>carefully avoiding any mention of the fun you had at that person's expense at the same time)</i>. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>See if there is still a chain left to be yanked. Remember, this is all about assuaging <span style="text-decoration: underline;">your </span>conscience and repairing <span style="text-decoration: underline;">your</span> damaged image - not about doing real work or genuine caring for the other person, but nobody else needs to know that. With a little careful manipulation, you can use this apology to get sympathy <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">and attention from other people as well.</a> </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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</span><b><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">5.)<span style="text-decoration: underline;"> Don't give any reasons about why you have suddenly decided to extend this tremendous effort (writing an email) after so much time has passed.</span></span><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span><span style="color: #e69138;">It is equally important that you avoid replying to any questions they might ask about specifics. Remember, this isn't really about making amends, it's about making yourself feel better. </span></span></span></b><span style="color: #e69138;"> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>6.) <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Expect instant redemption and forgiveness</span>. Remember, no matter what you have done, a few words are supposed to magically wipe away all the pain of the past with no further work required by you. Now that you have made a token gesture, the other person should just "forgive and forget" and "move on" and stop talking about it or asking you for accountability so that you find it easier to sleep at night. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>7.) <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Get upset when your trite "olive branch" isn't received with warmth and acceptance.</span> Go <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said">whining to whomever will listen</a>, about how you made all this *EFFORT*, and how *HARD* it was for you to take that step (what with all your issues, and all), and how it was REJECTED because that <i>awful </i>person actually expected you to DO SOMETHING REAL. </b> <b>After all, you have ISSUES and such, and that means you should be exempted from behaving in a manner congruent to your words, and everyone should coddle you and praise even the smallest effort on your part. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>8.) <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Take no further action.</span> Use pat phrases like, "<i>I'm doing my best to take responsiblity for the consequences of my behaviour"</i>, but don't actually DO anything beyond sending the email. It plays well, and you can always use that "doing my best" as your cop-out when you don't actually follow-through - it wasn't a REAL commitment to change, it was a "best-effort", and your emailed apology was a fine demonstration of how good THAT is. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I can't stress enough how important it is that you don't reply to any questions the other person might have about your email, especially ones that ask "why now?", "what specifically do you acknowledge was inappropriate?" and "what specifically you are doing to take responsibility?". After all, you don't owe them any explanation. </b></span><br />
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<h3>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Like I said, this isn't about <span style="text-decoration: underline;">doing </span>anything for *them*, it's all about YOU. After all, once you've made your apology, you can wash your hands of the whole messy affair and wipe your conscience clean without having to dirty yourself with uncomfortable things like integrity, sincerity, action or actually facing the person you harmed. </b> <b> </b></span></h3>
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<b><span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/apology.shtml">SOURCE</a></span></b> <span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>btw -- law enforcement told me he <u>NEVER </u>got rid of any of his instant messengers. Just BLOCKED me. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>It was just a few weeks before he changed his online identity and went right back to it.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b><a href="http://www.aish.com/h/hh/yk/48966696.html">ONE MORE FOR MR. RELIGIOUSLY OBSERVANT</a> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b> </b><b>The 'sweet person' I thought I knew turned out to be a predator who gets his kicks out of lying, coercing and sexually overpowering women - whether it's by saying 'I love you' indiscriminately or paying for it. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>And the way <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>misspelled my name? sent me back to the emergency room. I was in the hospital a lot then - yet I was accused of 'stalking' him at the same times. </b> <b>Thanks for that. I didn't realize I was that ALL-POWERFUL... </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Another one for you - YWL </span><br />
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#ifmywoundswerevisible #yidwithlid #JeffDunetzUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-78091113645268969122022-04-19T19:01:00.001-04:002022-04-20T22:30:19.646-04:00THE DUBIOUS HONOR OF BEING VICTIM OF THE MONTH<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"></a> <br />
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<span style="color: #ffd966;"><span><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Around October 2004 I was contacted by other women who'd also been involved in destructive online relationships. My email had been shared with them. They felt that there was no site out there to help people identify those who prey on adults as well as a site to show them - with clear examples of WHAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOU ARE THE TARGET OF A PSYCHOPATH!</b> <b>They had started <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/">this site</a>. There are now 4 women that I know of, around North America and Europe who work on <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/">the site.</a> </b> </span></span><b><span><span><span style="background-color: white;"> <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/">The site</a> is run by great people. Yes, all smart women who made a similar mistake and wanted to make sure no one else did. <i>(I do not know who they are and I am not and never have been one of them)</i> I hope people are learning from </span></span><a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/"><span><span style="background-color: white;">that site.</span></span></a></span></b></span> <br />
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<b><span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y211/nyctwinmum/forareason.jpg" /></a></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I even went to a rabbi who was working with me, my trauma counselors and my therapist and all of them saw the healing power in telling my story. </b> <b>I gathered up everything the police had given me, the stuff my ex's attorney had presented me with <i>(as you will read ex had my computer keylogged for quite some time prior to <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a> getting in touch with me... )</i>. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I had to provide <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/">the site</a> with police verifications, the computer forensic verifications and so on. It's illegal to make claims online or off without verifiable proof. They wanted to do my story. </b> <b>They weren't going to lie or cover for me if I was making stuff up. I told them they could NOT publish my name or location or <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s real name or location or anyone else's for the safety of our innocent children and <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s spouse.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>They had strict legal guidelines for what they post. So yes, they checked everything I sent them via their contacts in law enforcement.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> </b></span> </span> <span style="color: purple;"> </span> <br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Here are all the posts which were published on <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/">the site</a> around March 2005. So its been out there for a couple years at least. Click on any of the links provided and hopefully it will take you right to the post. </b> <b>Read in date order... feel free to ask me questions. I'm past being embarrassed simply because I was the target of a predator.</b> <b><a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html</a></b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I will clarify again that I could not lie and everything in these posts had to be verified independently.</b> <b>By the time it was posted on that site - NYPD, 2 attorneys handling my divorce & custody of my children, my therapist, a marriage counselor, NYPD Computer Crimes (Dets. Smith & Herrera), an NYPD Victim's Advocate, the Manhattan District Attorney's Office and 3 other women had read them. Even the posts that I made them withhold. Everything. </b><b>I was pretty much naked in terms of my involvement with this mess. I was too numb and traumatized.</b> </span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=News&id=3041629">ARTICLE 1</a></span></span> <span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://nysexgossip.blogspot.com/2005/06/julie-moya-gets-two-12-to-five.html">ARTICLE 2 </a></span></span> <span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.sexwork.com/legal/TraffickingLaw.html">ARTICLE 3</a></span></span> <span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://sevendeadlycynics.blogspot.com/2005/10/sin-lust-location-precariously-close.html">ARTICLE 4</a></span></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.overbrook.org/newsletter/july_05/Newsday_SexTrade.pdf.">ARTICLE 5 </a></span></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.julienyc.com/">ARTICLE 6</a></span></span> <b><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span></b><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank">The Spring and Summer of 2005 NYPD and the Manhattan DA's office called me a number of times. This is </a><a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/prostitution-thrives-on-internet.html">what they were prosecuting</a> and some of it had to do with what NYPD turned up on <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>: They used what I gave them and what they turned up to unlock a major case. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Imagine how SHOCKED I was when I saw that in the paper. I called NYPD and they told me they were going to pass, as per my request, on <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">prosecuting YWL</a> but they had turned up even more because of what I gave them and some of it was key evidence in other large probes. They were not going to share the information with any other law enforcement because of the nature of the investigations <i>(they were afraid of tipping off any of the other 'sex for money' businesses they were looking into I guess)</i>. The brothel here was the big fish - so they <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">gave YWL a pass</a>. I was relieved to know that his family would be o.k. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I have gotten a lot of emails saying while I was involved with a wrongful online relationship, <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2007/01/net-merges-sex-predators-pimps.html">YWL was a john and may still be.</a> </b> <b>I did what I had to do. I went to <a href="http://www.ci.nyc.ny.us/html/nypd/html/db/citujd.html">the police</a> for a temporary order of protection after <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/2007/03/story-of-gridney.html">YWL </a>threatened me. It snowballed from there. What I learned made me physically ill and I spent quite a bit of time in & out of the hospital. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a> coerced me into something really ugly. </b> </span><b><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">But no,</span> <span style="color: #e69138;">I had no idea how ugly because my past experience with <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>led me to believe he was harmless. </span><span style="color: #cccccc;">He certainly is very smart and savvy and I give him a lot of credit for his successes in life. </span></span></span></b><span style="color: #cccccc;"> <b>Yes, I did request that the DA and<a href="http://www.ci.nyc.ny.us/html/nypd/html/occb/vice.html"> NYPD</a><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> NOT</span> prosecute <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/2007/03/story-of-gridney.html">YWL </a>for soliciting and trafficking on his lunch hours. Call me stupid but that wasn't my call. His family didn't deserve what he did. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>And if you think I am an idiot for making that request - then ok - I AM AN IDIOT.</b> <b><a href="http://www.ci.nyc.ny.us/html/nypd/html/db/citujd.html">Computer Crimes </a>was nice enough to help me out with Ms. Gluck's nonsense because they know I am credible and not some hysterical maniac. I personally have a blemishless record. I only have a couple parking tickets on my record. </b> <b>I was a paralegal for years and was licensed with the State. My fingerprints and information are on file. I couldn't lie even if I wanted to. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Yes, <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>called what I sent his wife "<i>prose</i>" and continues to say I am <i>lying and fabricating</i>. Goodness knows what else he's told people about me. He's a consummate salesman so I would guess it's pretty nasty, whatever it is. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">What else could he say without exposing his true nature</span>? </b></span> <span style="color: #e69138;"><b>He resented me in 1975 and he hates me now. I was never anything more than an awkward, protracted one-night stand. That's just a fact. I believe it and know it to be truth. <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>has proved it by his actions. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>The cops patrolled my home for many years to make sure I am ok. Because of my domestic violence work I have some very angry exes of women I know looking for me - so the precinct sends a car by every once in a while.</b></span><br />
<b><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"> </span></span></b> <span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"></a></span></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank">The story is out there - its been out there for years now. </a></b> <b><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank">I know so many of you are telling me I was misled and so on. Yes I was. </a></b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">There comes a time when you have to grow up and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS.<span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></span><span style="color: #e69138;">But I will not take responsibility for things <span style="text-decoration: underline;">I did not do.</span> </span></span></span></span></b><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> </b> <b><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><i>BTW, let me make this clear once and for all. Sexual stuff is extremely triggering for me</i></a><i>. Don't tell me "never say never" - I am not interested.</i></b> <b><i>I can't look at porn at all... so WHY whoever put <a href="http://www.pornspaces.com/gridney">that porn site up</a> did it -- I don't know!! Ugh!! </i><i><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/l">YWL</a>'s hooker reviews caused me to vomit every time I saw them.They were depraved, objectifying, smarmy and complete filth. </i></b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Thank you<a href="http://www.ci.nyc.ny.us/html/nypd/html/db/citujd.html"> NYPD CITU</a> unit for helping me <a href="http://www.pornspaces.com/gridney">get that garbage taken down. </a></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I know I was a victim but I am also trying to keep others from being victimized. That's why I let <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/">that site</a> publish my story.</span><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span><span style="text-decoration: underline;">NOT for revenge, not to hurt anyone, not to end YWL's little lunchhour sex parties or his exploiting my friends with <i>my </i>good words about him,</span> Because the only one who can really help him - is his wife.</span></span></span></span></span></b></blockquote>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>That's the <span style="text-decoration: underline;">only </span>reason why I told his wife - to help <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a> STOP VICTIMIZING HIS FAMILY! </b></span><br />
#ifmywoundswerevisibleUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-46593645602739070462021-12-27T20:07:00.000-05:002021-12-28T16:50:22.842-05:00THE CHAT YWL WANTS GONE, ERASED, SCRUBBED<description><content:encoded></content:encoded></description><span style="color: red;"><br />
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<span style="color: red;"><b>Chat that YWL had with my best friend about the situation on March 17, 2004.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><i><b>(Notice him "trying out new lies" to see what will fly!! He didn't realize <span style="text-decoration: underline;">she already knew everything and KNEW he was lying to her</span>!)</b></i></span></div>
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<b>Shira: hey YWL</b></div>
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<b>YWL: I am an ass</b></div>
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<b>Shira: well, ok</b></div>
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<b>Shira: what makes you say that???</b></div>
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<b>YWL: Its a long story</b></div>
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<b>Shira: do tell</b></div>
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<b>YWL: ok</b></div>
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<b>YWL: I met someone online that I really care about</b></div>
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<b>YWL: it happened after</b></div>
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<b>YWL: well you know when I got upset that night</b></div>
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<b>Shira: right</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: hey</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: remind me again why you got upset? I was never really clear on that</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: because honestly I felt that I was being toyed with.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: anyway..Barabra and I stayed online that night <span style="color: red;"><i>(no we didn't -- I was online with Shira until 3am; YWL blocked me and went back to cybersex with Elizabeth... as I found out) </i> </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: very late</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: well you should have said something to us</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: we always joke around like that</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I did</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: 'to Barbara</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: then I went away</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: right</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: and then when I got back I pulled away from Barbara</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I had to it was making me crazy</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: what was making you crazy?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: tension</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: we both wanted to sleep with each other but knew it could never happen<span style="color: red;"> <i>(WTF? because I told him no way LOL!)</i></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: we talked about it till like 3 in the morning</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: anyway I started talking to someone online and we got very close</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I was even making a buisness trip to go meet her</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: Well yesterday her and Barbara talked and now they are both so hurt <span style="color: red;"> <span><i>(HURT? Doesn't even start to cover it)</i></span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: hang on - but you practically had to be coaxed out with a handful of sugar cubes to go meet Barbara for LUNCH!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: no</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I was supposed to see her next week</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: Yes, for the second time in 2 years</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: because I could deal with it now</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: now you know the reason I felt I couldn't</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: and now I have hurt her</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: now I have hurt Elizabeth</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: and most importantly I have lost her as a friend</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I have been throwing up all morning</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: DESTROYED her, YWL. The word is <u>DESTROYED</u>. You have no idea the amount of abuse she puts up with in your name on a daily basis for something she never even did!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: thats why I was reluctent to see her to make it worse and I have anyway</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I cant throw up anymore</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: so don't throw up</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: Im so nauseous</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: so what are you going to do then?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I dont know</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: Shira -- I do love Barbara and dont want to lose her out of my life</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I dont know what to do</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: except throw up</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: you love her?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: yes but not in a romantic sense anymore. It started going away that night<span> <i><span style="color: red;">(again... going away... wtf is he TALKING ABOUT! LOL!)</span></i></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: so you did love her in a romantic sense at one point?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: yes!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: did you ever tell hr?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: no</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: not exactly</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: well YWL you either tell someone you love them or you don't</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: no I didnt</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: but eveytime we tried to stop we couldnt</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: but I forced myself</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://photobucket.com/images/bullshit" target="_blank"><img alt="bullshit Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f351/LILYBEE04/BULLSHIT.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: you <i>forced </i>yourself?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: Or you found it easier because you had someone else to play with?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: no because that happened almost two month before I met</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: how did you meet her?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: she commented on one off my articles so I sent her a thank you<span style="color: red;"> <span> <i>(that's a lie, even Elizabeth says in emails printed on this site I INTRODUCED THEM)</i></span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: and she email back</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: you send thankyous to everyone who comments?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: yes</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I do <i><span style="color: red;"> </span></i><span style="color: black;"> </span></b><br />
<b><span>YWL: read the bottom of one of my articles<span style="color: red;"> </span></span><span style="color: red;"><i>(great way to collect emails for future victims!)</i></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: it says right there</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: k</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: He reads and responds to all of his mail, so comment by here</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: oh, yeah, of course I remember now</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: and then we started emailing</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: and iming</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: and one thing led to another</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: YWL you do know Barbara loved you, and that for her love is something she tries to avoid because it has only ever brought her pain</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: until we had a big fight yesterday</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I had a big fight with Elizabeth yesterday because.. she didnt want me to be friends with Barbara<span> <span style="color: red;"><i>(again, I found out this is a massive lie too! It was the OTHER WAY AROUND) </i> </span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: and the rest as we say is history</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: how does she know Barbara?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: they met on a newsgroup</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: oh, right</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: thats how she got to read mystuff</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I asked Barbara if I could call her and she is ignoring me</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>OT1: well from the sound of it that's not surprising</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: she told Elizabeth that I said bad things about her which is not true</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: why would she lie?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I never said anything cause I knew it would hurt her (</b><b><span style="color: red;"><i>hurt? wtf? he just wanted to keep using & abusing me as he kept on smearing and lying about me to others.)</i></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I swear</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: BARBARA DOESN'T LIE</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I never discussed Elizabeth with Barbara <span style="color: red;"><i>(admission of lying and also notice how he leaves out that he's 'discussed' - <u>lied about & smeared</u> - me to Elizabeth to keep us from talking and finding out he's a predator who's been using both of us for his sexual fun & games!)</i></span> </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: On my life<span style="color: red;"> <i>(which life would that be? the one your wife knows about or the one you have at Julie's or the one you have online....)</i></span> </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: gtg</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a326/Fanra/EpicFailCat.jpg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a326/Fanra/EpicFailCat.jpg" /></a> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>~~~~~ </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: Barabar wouldnt pic up her mobile</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: well I did say to leave a message. She's a busy woman</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I dont know</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: you know how it is...kids and all, also she's disabled, remember</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: Her vioce mail didnt pic up</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I dont htink</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I ddint hear a beeb</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: but Italked anyway</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: what'd you say?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I said that I didnt want to loseher from my life that she was too important and could we talk</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: YWL she's been awake for 30 hours</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: she's distraught</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: YWL</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: you've utterly destroyed any trust she had in you</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: you've made her feel used</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I know</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: but I wasnt</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I swear</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: you weren't what?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: using her?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: we were supposed to meet next week</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: so?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I asked her to keep the lucnh</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: so w can talk</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: you know, if I were her I wouldn't want to talk to you</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: I would feel very used and betrayed</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I know</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: you were using her, weren't you</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: no</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I wasnt</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: well; what else do you call cybersex with her, and then another woman, with no intention of anything else?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I told you how it happedn and they were sepreated by time</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: and there was an intention</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: what did you intend?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: I had set up a trip to see Elizabeth</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: I meant MY friend, Barbara! Not your newest girlfriend, Elizabeth!</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>YWL: So you arent going to help me?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Shira: Help you!? </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>You've been lying and toying with Barbara for 2 years with no intention other than to twist her into knots and using her! So, what do you expect after what you've done to my best friend? </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>You lied about ME, too. </b><br />
<b>I tell you what, YWL, you best be sh*tting yourself. You ********. And you call yourself a spiritual man. I think not. All you think about is your **** and I wish you everything you deserve. What a filthy lying s**tbag you are.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b> </b> <a href="http://media.photobucket.com/image/busted/tiffanie2006hk/banners%20for%20CLR/6-busted.png?o=24" target="_blank"><img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj144/tiffanie2006hk/banners%20for%20CLR/6-busted.png" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-27830806499138183982021-12-24T13:37:00.000-05:002021-12-28T16:51:45.488-05:00A Blast from YWLs Past... or Present<h2 style="text-align: left;">Hear from NYPD once in a great while now. But there’s a possibility <a href="http://lidblog.com/" target="_blank">YWL</a> went right back to his sex addiction. My business? Probably not. But those poor girls.</h2><h2 style="text-align: left;"><br /><a href="https://youtu.be/KAjB8pKMgME" target="_blank">THIS just reminded me</a></h2>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-45973687936516920632020-08-20T01:08:00.000-04:002020-08-20T20:19:13.828-04:00MORAL EQUIVALENCY - WHAT HAPPENED: THE UNVARNISHED TRUTH<span style="color: #ffd966;"><b><i>Got a note that this page has been copied and pasted places in order to harass and stalk me as well as to 'inform' my estranged husband. Too late. He knows, we all know and the truth is known by him, myself and the authorities. Yes, the 'authorities.' Law firms, police, fraud department of police, computer intelligence unit of the police, IRS, CPS - they ALL investigated me. They have ALL seen my computer, my finances and the upshot? <u>You're all a bunch of wackos! </u>You seem to believe what you want to hear (from people who are proven liars) rather than what IS. </i></b><br />
<br />
<b><i>I'm not reading what you post anywhere <a href="http://lidblog.com" target="_blank">YWL</a>, I'm not responding, I do not care. Think what you like, I have moved on - waaaay on, years ago. Other people sent me your nonsense and while they meant well I asked them to stop. So party on with your cray-cray... it seems to be keeping you all busy.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"> _________________________________________________________________________________ </span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Here it is. The truth. My truth. And truth you can check. Don't believe me, believe what your gut - your common sense - and what you know about me tells you.</b> <b>I married someone I loved, liked and had been living with for 2 years. I was never a big fan of marriage but I didn't see myself with anyone but him. He convinced me he felt the same. I spent years married to him and all of that time trying to have children with him. I excused the annoyances, the put downs, the criticism, the snide remarks. I tried very hard to make him happy though it seems he never is. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Got counseling for myself. Tried getting him to counseling. After about 7-8 years things slowly but surely get strange. Emotionally intimacy starts to disappear. He actually starts BELIEVING his psychopath mother until you point out how insane her accusations are. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He gets distant. He refuses to initiate sex. Men hit on you right in front of him and he seems oblivious to it. You don't understand - your marriage is like a 'through the looking glass' show.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You finally have the children you wanted so much (and he said he wanted) and the disability you've been struggling with for a couple years gets worse. You no longer have many friends, you can't go out, your husband goes to work and then out for hours at a time. And leaves you alone. With 2 children. While you are sick. He makes fun of you being sick. Accuses you of faking it despite doctors talking to him about how seriously ill you are. He steps over you when you need to crawl on your hands & knees to the bathroom. A female friend has to help you shower. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He helps with the children but makes you PAY emotionally and with verbal abuse when he does. Even his 'friends' notice the way he treats you.</b> <b>Your career was slowly put-down, made fun of and chipped away at. He even got your narcissistic mother to help him. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You find out years later he was deeply jealous of your acting career and your success; he'd wanted to be an actor and fell flat on his face.</b> <b>But that's not the worst of it. He no longer wants to have sex. Not intimacy - I mean S E X. At all. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You stopped initiating. You noticed years ago he refused to initiate but he promised it would change after all the scheduled sex for infertility, etc. But it doesn't. You are sharing a bed with a virtual stranger. He doesn't want to be hugged, kissed, touched in any way. He's the ICE MAN. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Everyone notices how odd he is about being affectionate. Who is that guy?</b> <b>You wake up in the morning clinging to the side of the bed where you have almost been shoved off. You are told to go sleep on the couch now because your disability makes you sweat. You sleep on the floor of your children's rooms to be there for them so he can sleep and go to work. He tells you he resents that you can't work anymore and he's the bread winner. He feels "put upon."</b> <b><a href="http://padontstandforpaloalto.wordpress.com/2009/03/02/when-a-passive-aggressive-witholds-sex/">You confront him about the no sex. He looks at you like a deer in headlights. You ask repeatedly what he wants - anything - another woman, another man, toys, porn... anything. And he avoids. He refuses therapy and projects it all back on you. </a>If it wasn't for your kids you'd want to die. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You can't work anymore and now you feel like nothing. No love. No sex. Nothing but blame and anger. Nothing.</b> <b>But the verbal and emotional abuse continues. You finally realize you are being abused through therapy and cold hard thought. You try to get him to therapy again. No dice. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<b><a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/06/stockholm-syndrome-and-you.html">You are too physically ill to fight and too broke to up and leave just then. </a>You love being a mother to your kids but your marriage is dead. And you know it.</b></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">ONE DAY...</span> </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Then, one day, you get an email from an <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">old friend</a>. Someone you haven't talked to in over 20 years. Someone actually remembers you! It's very nice to catch up. You want to meet his family, have him meet yours. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He's very sweet even though you remember he wasn't always very nice to you in the past. He brushes it off to youth, stupidity. He even apologizes.</b> <b>But, in just a couple weeks, this old friend brings up that you & he slept together back in the day. He "says" you deflowered him. You have no idea and don't quite believe him. You laugh. He asks you about your marriage after telling you his is stone cold and he doesn't love his wife anymore - and hasn't for a long time. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You have a sympathetic ear and no reason to be suspicious of him. </b> <b>You don't realize he's making his wife suffer from HIS "Madonna/Whore Syndrome" (common in pathologicals) You tell him what's going on. No reason not to trust him after he'd shared his marital woes with you. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>And you know this person - you know he's o.k. Right? It's only too late that you realize you were being profiled.</b> <b>Then every conversation with him turns to how much he "liked" you and making you feel guilty for not "liking" him back. You try to tell him it wasn't that way - it was the other way around. He never called you or dated you - you just slept together. </b> <b> In fact, you remember him telling people - in front of you - loudly - that he would NEVER EVER date a non-Jewish girl.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You also send him pictures of yourself and tell him outright how much weight from surgeries and medication you've gained. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">He can plainly see</span>. You tell him this MULTIPLE times when you chat in the future too. MULTIPLE. He's well aware of what you look like now and says he cares for <i>"you, not your body</i>" and how "<i>beautiful you are on the inside</i>."</b></span><br />
<b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://the405media.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jeff-Dunetz.png"><img src="http://the405media.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jeff-Dunetz.png" /></a></div>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You remember that in the fall of 1976 - you were in his & his roommate's dorm room with some other people. The roommate leans over to him and asks "did you ever sleep with her (you)?" You're on the other side of the room so you don't look over but you do listen.</b> <b><a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL</a>'s response? "Oh her??? I would NEVER sleep with her!"</b></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You remember vividly you felt so sick you had to make an excuse and quietly leave the room. The first time you had sex with him you bled all over him. He never calls or sees you to find out if you're o.k. after that night. You end up at the Student Health Center being told that you have internal bruising from him. <i> (You find out later he TOLD people and ASSUMED you were a virgin! Heck no, you had a long term boyfriend in high school with whom you were intimate. But he brags how he deflowered you to some and lies about it to others - saying THAT is now the reason you're "obsessed" with him! Heck if he hadn't looked you up on Classmates.com you would NEVER have given this guy a 2nd thought! BTW Got a confirmation from Classmates that HE got your information from them)</i></b></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You're mortified and glad it was just a couple times you slept with him. You're glad the sex was so textbook, boring and all about him.</b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He asks about his old roommate - who dated you for a while as well. He'd PUSHED you to the roommate before he split for another university (and you never heard from him again). You tell him you learned just before undergrad graduation that this guy was stalking you and obsessed with you. You tell your old friend that he'd tried to kill you, sent you to the hospital and now believe he was psychopathic. <a href="http://lidblog.com"> YWL </a>seems unphased.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He asks about your acting career (he wanted to be an actor too) - which you had to give up after being diagnosed as permanently disabled. You tell him you never wanted to be famous but you did make money at it and you had a nice little career you were proud of.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">He abruptly changes the subject. </span>(<i>Missed this Red Flag despite how odd it was</i>)</b> <b>Now he waxes poetic about how nice you are, what a good person, probably a good mother and how loving the sex was. You are shocked he remembers anything at all. He throws in just enough details so you think maybe he does remember and you don't. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He declares multiple times that he still has feelings for you and always had. He blows off his prior hurtful comments as wanting to be "macho" and being young & stupid. He listens to you, asks about your health, asks about your feelings and draws you out - you are so relieved. Finally, you think, someone who listens and cares. </b> <b>He tells you he<i> "wishes he was more honest that he felt this way about you back in college." </i>But he said he'd never date a non-Jew. And his wife is Jewish so that proves it. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You start to try to get him to get marriage counseling, help or something to save his marriage. However, you're so bowled over & in shock about his 'feelings' all the other stuff slides insidiously into your psyche.</b></span><br />
<br />
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<img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="69" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7580/503/1600/untitled.jpg" width="282" /> <b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Before you know it, one day, out of the blue, your 'old friend' initiates cybersex. Something makes you go along. Don't know why, you just do and feel odd about it. Next thing you know you do it again with him. You feel confused and woozy. You can't even control yourself doing it. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Something inside you snapped and you're not in control.</b> <b>Oddly, he only calls you on the phone 3 times in 2 years - twice for phone sex. Never ever just a 'hi' how are you call. He says he "CAN'T call" you - that he couldn't "control" himself around you if he saw you or called. He tells you this more times than you can count. </b> <b>Now, if you get sick, he goes from concern to 'could care less.' In fact, he gives you the vibe your illness somehow 'inconvenienced' him.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<b> </b><b><a href="http://emergingfrombroken.com/dangerous-men-red-flags-victim-mentality/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">But you blow it off - like you blew off all the abuse you'd been getting in your marriage for all those years and from your Narcissistic mother since childhood. It was good practice at denial.</span></a></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You go away for a month out of the country and Mr. "I have feelings for you" and "I can't control myself" seems to care less. But he IMs you while you are away for more cybersex. He tells you an affair might help both of you with your "bad marriages." You remind him you're separated and continue trying to get him to talk to his wife & work things out.</b></span> <br />
<h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>One night he spends 2 hours online with you telling you how he <i>HAS to be with you sexually</i>.<i> Just once</i>. He doesn't know how he's going to make it happen but he needs you <i>desperately</i>. </b></span></h1>
<div style="text-align: center;"> <b><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></b></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://www.psychopath-research.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/1596/24/Red_Flags">You can't believe it. </a>You tell him to slow down. How about lunch? A drink? You have kids. You want to meet his family. This isn't right. And you don't do "just once." In fact, you aren't sure you want to continue. You say no, tell him it's immoral and beg him to go for counseling even offering to find a counselor for him and even his wife. He pleads a few more times for you to sleep with him and seems very upset that you said "No." He keeps up the pressure and you have zero emotional fortitude to withstand it after years of abuse. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You introduce him to your best friend, who is young enough to be your daughter. She's Jewish too and they chat. You find out later he tries to get sexual with her a number of times. He even tries to talk you into having sex with her and letting him watch!!! Then he swears it was all a joke when you stop talking to him.</b> <b>When you express horror, he reels you back in with more </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>promises, excuses, and apologies.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You turn his pleas over and over in your head. And something inside you snaps again. You don't really have inner strength to say no after all those years of abuse and abandonment. You reluctantly say O.K. to the ongoing cybersex but still hedge on the real sex. You'd rather have a normal friendship but somehow he turns every online chat turns to sex. You can't think straight, sleep is illusive, you don't eat - you feel like you were run down by a love train. You're not yourself, you're hypnotized and feel like a puppet. But you can't tune him out somehow.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You remember how much you liked him and how he blew you off but he 'explains' it all away. You fall like you did over 25 years before. </b> <b>Then your husband finds out.</b> <b>Your husband's been hacking your computer and passively aggressively emails you & YWL. What does YWL do? Disappeared for 5 weeks leaving you to take beatings, verbally & physically, from your husband. Doesn't want to talk about it with you. Discuss it. Help you figure out what to do. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Nothing. You don't even see that as a red flag now. When your 'sympathetic ear' does come back online - he's ANGRY that you & your husband are going to counseling and have decided to separate. (Looking back this horrifies and terrifies me. I remember feeling like a puppet on a string. I was an emotional mess.)</b></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b> <img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="125" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkjm958m071qflan8o1_500.gif" width="320" /> <b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>And all those "I have to have you" feelings? Gone. Poof. You ask the old friend who you have been baring your soul to and he gives no answer. When you ask him again - he disappears offline for a few days. He seems to have snapped off his feeling like a light switch.</b> <b>Weeks later you chat with him as 'just friends' for over a year but he still refuses to introduce you to his family or meet yours. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">During chats and emails he throws in non-stop sexual innuendo</span>.</b> <b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>The one time you pressure him to finally to just have lunch with you he acts oddly - as if you're an annoyance to be near. But you let him skate because you were raised by a Narcissist and still have a problem knowing the difference between abuse and normal behavior. (more on this lunch later...) You've got energy invested here too. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"> You keep trying to get him to go to counseling</span>.</b> <b>He goes but only to get drugs.</b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span> <img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="224" src="http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1339035441333_3532707.png" width="320" /> <span style="color: red;"><b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><br /></span></div><span style="color: red;">
</span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;">
</span><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="color: red;"><b>You even stop talking to him about four times and each time within a week or so - he's BEGGING you to keep talking to him. And he's gone from suggesting you get together to 'make love' to using the term 'fuck' for anything sex related. Slowly but surely 'come' becomes 'cum', 'breasts' are referred to as 'tits' and Mr. So-Polite even calls a woman's private parts as 'pussy' to you. You make mental note of it as he becomes more crude... and cruel. Does he even know who he's talking to?</b></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"> <b>And your husband has been a<i>busing</i> you daily - because of <a href="http://lidblog.com">'YWL.</a></b>' <b>(However, there's moving out and apart from each other now... because your neighbor is calling 911 when you're pushed around or hit and she finds out.)</b> </span></div>
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</div><img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/688016183556222977/Gx9WvJGI_400x400.png" /><span style="color: purple;"></span><div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>A few months into this one day you are online with him and a female friend of yours who doesn't live far from him. You mention to him you are chatting to her too. He then IMs her (who he doesn't know or ever been introduced to!) some very suggestive things. She is furious, blocks him and tells you he's a creep. You tell her she over-reacted, he's a joker.</b> <b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>A couple weeks later a family member who's interested in politics comes to visit. She asks if she can chat with him and asks him some questions. He's completely dismissive, arrogant and rude to her. You don't understand who this person is. (It isn't until after this whole thing is over you find out he's a raging right-winger... <span style="text-decoration: underline;">he keeps that from you while he's got you in his thrall</span>)</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He gets you online a couple of times and tells you all about Robyn - his ex-fiance, going into filthy, lurid detail about their sex romps.</b> <b>You have <a href="http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/traumaptsdblog/2012/10/10/ptsd-and-the-freeze-response/">the typical abused person's freeze response</a>. You get off and feel sick & dirty. He even tells you about when he and his wife have sex! <span style="text-decoration: underline;">You let him know that's over the line</span>. He admits that he is "sick sick sick" and "needs help" but then he gets mad at you and projects it all back on you.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"> </span> <img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="320" src="http://unicist.net/economics/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Manipulation1.jpg" width="253" /> <b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Over the next few months you see him online but not even saying <i>hi</i> to you, like you aren't even there - when you IM him he freaks out and tells you never to do that again. But he doesn't even block you... the whole thing is becoming torturous but you feel powerless to break away while you're finally moving to your new home. He's changed just like your ex-husband did and you feel on the outside of some horrible joke.</b></span> </div>
<h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>This torture goes on & off for months.</b></span></h1>
<blockquote>
<i><b>Second-guessing: Because we have had our self-esteem eroded by the continuos gaslighting, we can live in fear of doing the wrong thing, and making our situations even more chaotic for ourselves. We inevitably find ourselves asking “what if”, and always trying to second guess ourselves. This often effects how we problem-solve, and make decisions in our lives including allowing the narcissist back into our world... Time after time even when we know what they truly are. What they have done to us is why we allow them back even when our brain is telling us no. Gaslighting is nothing less than a form of brainwashing.</b></i></blockquote>
<h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>One evening, </b><b>21 months after your '<a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">old friend</a>' looks you up and involves you in this '</b><b>online affair, in March 2004 you get a call from a new friend of yours. </b></span></h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>She tells you <a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL</a>'s been planning a full blown affair with her; she lives on the West coast; using his work resources! She's another severely abused, lonely and depressed woman who misses Red Flags all the time. She's also married to an abuser. </b> <b>And the kicker? <span style="color: red;"> you introduced </span></b></span><span style="color: red;"><br />
<b>her to him.</b></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c0/fa/60/c0fa609532dde941c76b69530b6a5030.jpg" /> <b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>She tells you he's emailing, calling her 2-4 times per day, offering gifts, money and has used a business trip to a city near her to start the physical affair. Using the hotel paid for by his employer as the place. He tells her he "LOVES her" and she's his "SOULMATE." No, they have never met in person. Your friend admits she's a "cougar" and that she shaved 10 years off her real age, and is much older than she told him she was. </b> <b>And, bizarrely - he's told her things about his 'history' that never ever happened to him - they happened to YOU. Yes, he'd taken my personal history and incorporated it into his lures with her. Sickening. <i>(Psychologically known as Projective Identification)</i> Apparently he found your painful history so interesting he made it HIS OWN to BOOST HIS CREDIBILITY!</b> <b>"</b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>...<a href="http://narc-attack-mirror.blogspot.com/2002_03_01_archive.html#270429246755369371"><i>in doing this, the narcissist isn't attacking your faults and shortcomings: she is attacking your virtues and accomplishments. Consequently, when she is conducting a campaign of character assassination against someone, <b>the arrows she shoots never hit one of that person's real flaws.</b> The result is something like Dr. Frankenstein accomplished with body parts. A chimera. </i></a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack-mirror.blogspot.com/2002_03_01_archive.html#270429246755369371"><i>The narcissist's false image contains the virtuous qualities in other people's characters, and their images have had those virtuous qualities replaced with the flaws in the narcissist's character. In other words, the narcissist steals your virtues and dumps on you her faults. In doing so, the narcissist is stealing your identity, pulling an identity switch with you, piecemeal. It's a kind of magic, an illusion created with nothing but words, which can warp perceptions by making anything of anything. </i></a></b> <b><a href="http://narc-attack-mirror.blogspot.com/2002_03_01_archive.html#270429246755369371"><i>For example, let's say that the narcissist is stingy and that one of your virtues is that you are outstanding for your generosity. She hates the glow of that shiny spot in your character, because it serves as foil to her stinginess, making it more noticeable by contrast. So she muddies your image and glorifies her image by misappropriating your generosity to herself and misappropriating her stinginess to you.</i> </a>"</b></span></blockquote>
<h1 style="text-align: center;"><br /></h1>
<h1>
<span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;">But the reason for her call? Is that YWL tells her things about you that are mind-boggling in their nasty, false, twisted intent... with the added caveat for her NOT to speak to you ever because <a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2006/10/last-incarnation-of-non-apology.html">YOU are supposedly</a> "<i>obsessed</i>" with him and you will "<i>ruin their love</i>." She's confused because she what she knows about you doesn't square with what <a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL </a>is feeding her. WTF????</span> </b></span></h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>By the way, he uses the EXACT SAME come-on lines and the EXACT same cybersex scenarios with her. This girlfriend of yours even sends you a short homemade "movie" he made of himself. That shocked her so much she'd already sent it to the FBI.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You spend almost 3 days not sleeping and puking into the drain in your garden so your kids won't hear or smell. You don't eat. You call your therapist and she tells you about emotional rape. You and this other woman decide that its time to tell his wife what he's doing. NOT as revenge but -- because it should have been done a long time ago. You had kept your husband from going to his wife before - but now she should know what he's doing. Her family may be in danger.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
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<b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b> <img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="240" src="http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/odj2KzoHCXo/hqdefault.jpg" width="320" /> <b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You're in deep shock. You can't believe this is the same person you've known all this time. All the red flags come flooding back. You wonder if what he's told you about his wife is even true, since he lied so outrageously about you. And you worry about his kids and what he's doing locked in his home office online all the time.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>"<a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL</a>" finally calls you on the phone and tries to talk to you. <a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2006/10/last-incarnation-of-non-apology.html">He tries to lie more</a>. He tries to keep you from telling his wife. He tells you you "<i>mean too much to him</i>" and he doesn't "<i>want to lose you out of his life</i>." He even tries to tell you he has "<i>feelings</i>" for you. You tell him how you feel; it pours out of your mouth like one long scream</b></span><b><span style="color: purple;"> <span style="color: #cccccc;">and you tell him you are going to make sure he stops<span style="color: purple;"> </span>hurting other people like his wife and even himself. He abruptly hangs up on you and you go puke out in your garden some more.</span></span></b><span style="color: #cccccc;"> <b>You know he was lying. Trying to reel you back in. A hoover manuever. </b> <b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<b>Why? Because a few days earlier, your friend he was planning the affair with, the one he supposedly <i>loved</i>? She lets you hear a conversation where</b></span><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> <a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2006/10/last-incarnation-of-non-apology.html">he told her</a> that he'd </b></span><b><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #e69138;">"NEVER LOVED YOU! NEVER!" and that you are a "scorned & obsessed woman."</span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span></b></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><span style="color: red;">You heard him say it. <u> Heard </u>him</span>.</b> <b>You tell your friend to please go be with him because you genuinely want him to be happy. You have been saying NO to an affair and begging him to get counseling anyway. </b> <b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>But your friend does a little investigating on her own and calls you back to tell you - he's been lying to her too. Now you really need to tell his wife because destructive lying seems to be a way of life for him and you know he went through a 10 month unemployment where his wife was paying his bills for him. </b> <b>So HE was the user and abuser in the marriage, not the wife. The wife deserves to know. You apologize, IN WRITING, to his poor wife the 3 times you need to send her everything and include your phone number - just in case.</b> <b>When he finds out you told his wife, <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/14/ywls-threat-march-19-2004/">he threatens you. Threatens to help your now estranged husband, take your precious children away</a>. </b></span> <br />
<h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You know he's lied to the wife about you and done major damage control/spin-doctoring. </b></span></h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>But the threat sends you to your precinct's domestic violence officer - who sends you to Computer Crimes.</b> <b>By the time you get to Computer Crimes its been over a week. You are barely sleeping. </b> <b>In the meantime this "old friend" has sent you AND your friend an apology. Together. Both of you. Like a bad chain letter. (I posted it in another post on this site)</b></span> <br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Mentions himself numerous times and admits NOTHING he did to you, your marriage or your friends. </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Takes no responsibility. </b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Tries to play martyr and twist everything. </b></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>And not only does he misspell your last name in a lewd manner, you are so deeply traumatized and all the feelings from your childhood of being abandoned and self-destructive surface. Your doctor puts you in the hospital over night for the non-stop vomiting and fainting. You leave after being treated, put on heavy sedatives. You go home to the children and angry estranged husband who blames you for everything. You feel like garbage.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You somehow get to that appointment with NYPD Computer Crimes. What was a personal shock becomes a virtual nuclear explosion. Your 'old friend's' online activities are found in just a few minutes. </b> <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>What's there?</b></span></span> <br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>- loads of porn, loads - some interactive (with corroborating credit cards)</b></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>- <a href="http://www.theeroticreview.com/">salicious, filth-laden postings about hookers</a> he's seen on his lunch hour - starting <i>at least TWO YEARS before</i> he even looked you up! <a href="http://www.escort-finder.com/">These postings</a> are detailed and objectifying. Some of the most disgusting things you have ever read. And some WORD FOR WORD things he said to you during cybersex. <br /></b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>- credit cards traced to phone sex lines and 1-900 lines going back </b><b>going back at least four years (1999!) <span style="text-decoration: underline;">BEFORE</span> he looked you up. (some where he tried to give a fake name but his credit card undoes that) That "rough patch" he says he had in his marriage had been going on for FOUR YEARS prior to him looking you up! <a href="http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2006/05/in-abusive-relationships-abusers.html">Talk about MINIMIZING!</a></b></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You tell them <a href="http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=982634">you'd asked him repeatedly if he'd ever seen a hooker and he told you no.</a> Lie number one. Big lie. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>The victim's assistance officer takes you to the bathroom to puke some more. The detectives tell you this has added damning information to a small investigation on 2 local brothels that they are investigating. They probably won't do much about him - small potatoes. They tell you they can't confirm or deny anything to anyone as this is all too sensitive.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You leave and go home. New information in hand. You let <a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL </a>know what you now know.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Then detectives call and tell you - <a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL</a>'s been 'frantically c</b><b>leaning his tracks.' Majority of his postings suddenly "disappear" - <span style="text-decoration: underline;">confirming it WAS him in the first place</span>.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> His credit cards get ditched and new ones are gotten, they say. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>The friend he was preying on tells you he'd dumped his cell phone.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>The detectives laugh about him 'destroying evidence.' They show you how nothing ever dies on the internet. They are already tracking everything. You feel sick.</b></span></div>
<br />
<blockquote>
<h1 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><i><b><span face="" style="font-family: "verdana", "arial", "helvetica", sans-serif; font-size: small;">The truth - when twisted by good liars, can always make an innocent person look bad - especially if the innocent person is honest and admits his mistakes. </span></b></i></span></h1><span style="color: #ffd966;">
</span><h1 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><i><b><span face="" style="font-family: "verdana", "arial", "helvetica", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Psychopaths just have what it takes to defraud and bilk others: they can be fast talkers, they can be charming, they can be self-assured and at ease in social situations; they are cool under pressure, unfazed by the possibility of being found out, and totally ruthless. </span></b></i></span></h1><span style="color: #ffd966;">
</span><h1 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><i><b><span face="" style="font-family: "verdana", "arial", "helvetica", sans-serif; font-size: small;">And even when they are exposed, they can carry on as if nothing has happened, often making their accusers the targets of accusations of being victimized by THEM.</span></b></i></span></h1><span style="color: #ffd966;">
</span><h1 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><i><b><span face="" style="font-family: "verdana", "arial", "helvetica", sans-serif; font-size: small;">...Psychopaths have no lack of victims because so many people are ready and willing to play the role. And in many, many cases, the victim simply refuses to believe the evidence that they are being victimized. Psychological denial screens out knowledge that is painful, and persons with large investments in their fantasies are often unable to acknowledge that they are being deceived because it it too painful. </span></b></i></span></h1><span style="color: #ffd966;">
</span><h1 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><i><b><span face="" style="font-family: "verdana", "arial", "helvetica", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Most often, these are women who rigidly adhere to the traditional role of the female with a strong sense of duty to be a "good wife." She will believe that if she tries harder or simply waits it out, her husband will reform. When he ignores her, abuses her, cheats on her, or uses her, she can simply just decide to "try harder, put more energy into the relationship, and take better care of him." She believes that if she does this, eventually he will notice and will see how valuable she is, and then he will fall on his knees in gratitude and treat her like a queen.</span></b></i></span></h1><span style="color: #ffd966;">
</span><h1 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ffd966;"><i><b><span face="" style="font-family: "verdana", "arial", "helvetica", sans-serif; font-size: small;">The fact is, such a woman, with her fierce commitment to such a man, her dedication to being a proper wife, has allowed such fairy tales to distort her sense of reality. The reality is that she is doomed to a lifetime of abuse and disappointment until "death do us part."</span></b></i></span></h1>
</blockquote>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://the405media.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/YidwithJayneHatLid.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="250" src="http://the405media.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/YidwithJayneHatLid.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<h2>
</h2>
<h2>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>PART TWO</b></span></span></h2>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Five months later another friend of yours, in the middle of a divorce (remember, the one who lives near him & blocked him after getting some lurid IMs from him?) - calls you. Guess who just put HER on his mailing list for his NEW BLOG! </b> <b>She tells you that he must have gotten access to your IM list because back when he was just starting on you, he IM'd her - out of the blue - said he was a friend of yours and then proceeded to post LEWD comments to her & she blocked him. She did save the chat and sends it off to the Police as well. </b><b><i>(BTW - <a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL </a>now accuses her of trying to HARASS him on your behalf. Which she <u>never </u>did and WOULD never do! Always the martyr that YWL)</i> </b><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>The detectives are told. </b> <b>Your email is watched. You destroy your computer and wait a few months to save up for a new one.</b> <b>A few months after <span style="text-decoration: underline;">that</span>, the moderator of an online support group you belong to tells you (since they have already asked for the 'old friend's' IP, etc) that he's coming frequently to the group. <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/04/stalker-or-just-lookin/">Reading all your posts</a>. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">All your pain. All your distorted thoughts and agony.</span> <i>They make sure to give you proof. </i></b><b>You install a hit counter on <a href="http://barbarany_9.blogspot.com/">your blog</a> even find him coming to your personal blog every Saturday night for weeks before you confront him online. Nothing happens. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You become reclusive and don't go out or make any new friends (JUST friends) online for a couple years. </b> <b>A tech friend tells you <a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL </a>"borrowed" the source code for your blog's template. He's got proof but you let it slide. It's just silly at this point. <a href="http://lidblog.com"> YWL </a>had told you he'd NEVER have a blog and wanted his own server. Now's he's got a blog, a new nickname - YidwithLid - and even a new identity - Sammy Benoit. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">He NEVER took a break from the computer as he told you in his "apology</span>." He's right back at it.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL </a>and his wife get a buddy of theirs, a detective from their local precinct - to call and hassle you and threaten to arrest you. They've given him SELECTIVE information. The guy not only doesn't know you're disabled but he didn't even know you were in the hospital three times - during times when they accused you of stalking them! Once you present him with the truth, he stops calling - realizing he's been lied to.</b></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="258" src="http://everydayredflags.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/hare-on-psychopathy.jpg" width="334" /> <span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Time goes by, you've been in a clinic for the PTSD, come home and moved forward with your life. Months later you happen to be in this <a href="http://www.israelforum.com/blog_home.php">'old friend's' "online territory."</a> You have no idea he's even there when you sign up but there you are. </b> <b>He's never called, never apologized. Never made any attempt to put things right to you. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You've been in counseling for PTSD and other issues now fairly intensively.</b> <b>You're on anxiety medication. </b><b>You've gotten some of your 'self' back and are out of the marriage (estranged). </b> <b>You feel at least strong enough to voice your opinions and <a href="http://barbarany_9.blogspot.com/">do so online</a>, thereby crossing into 'his space.' You try to maintain cordial distance. </b> <b>And because he feels you are in his "territory" <a href="http://www.jewishblogging.com/blog.php?bid=96316">he posts a very whitewashed version of what happened</a>. Leaving out all the hookers & porn, etc that he's sure he's erased. (You will have to read it to see how he paints yours truly.)</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>The most stunning element of his story is <a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/06/how-evil-hides-from-itself.html">he makes </a></b><b>his luring and manipulating you into an online affair, destroying any goodwill that was left in your marriage</b><b> - <span style="text-decoration: underline;">MORALLY EQUIVALENT</span> t<a href="http://www.jewishblogging.com/blog.php?bid=96316">o everything he's done</a>. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He also doesn't admit to anything <span style="text-decoration: underline;">but </span>the online affair <i>(which he now calls a 'game' in which supposedly 'you participated knowing that it was just a game')</i> which would make anyone<a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/07/how-to-tell-what-narcissist-is-up-to.html"> he's smeared you</a> to believe that it <i>was</i> <span style="text-decoration: underline;">MORALLY EQUIVALENT</span>. </b> <b>Suddenly <a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/06/how-evil-hides-from-itself.html">YOU are the bad one. You are just as bad</a>. </b></span> <br />
<h1 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> </b></span></h1>
<h1 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Wait! </b></span></h1>
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You didn't see hookers.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You weren't using porn or phone sex.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You weren't posting about your lunchtime frolics with hookers on a 'review board.'</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You didn't have personal ads for having casual sex and swinger parties online since 2000.</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You weren't coming on to everyone you met online, or stealing off your friends' buddy lists.</b></span></li>
</ul>
<h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You had an online relationship with someone you really cared about because <span style="text-decoration: underline;">he'd brainwashed you to believe</span> that he <span style="text-decoration: underline;">cared very deeply for you</span> in the SAME WAY and it was the ONLY SAFE WAY TO BE WITH HIM WITHOUT ANYONE GETTING HURT.</b></span></h1>
<h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>And you'd known him for years! You'd NEVER had cybersex before ever... (believe me, never will again.)</b></span></h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL </a>lies to his 'new' friends under his 'new' identity about you. Incredible lies. Added in is the caveat, again, 'not to speak to' you about it because YOU 'are the liar.'</b></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b> <img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="218" src="http://hateandanger.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/make-the-lie-big-make-it-simple-keep-saying-it-and-eventually-they-will-believe-it-adolf-hitler.jpg" width="320" /></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"> <b><a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/06/how-evil-hides-from-itself.html">You're maligned in so many ways you lose count, as your friends tell you what he's saying about you. </a></b><a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/06/how-evil-hides-from-itself.html">He posts your IP online. He sends threatening letters to others thinking they are you.</a> <a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/06/how-evil-hides-from-itself.html">You try to ignore it.</a> <b>People you & he might both know? Are told not to speak to you, not to believe you or even post your comments on their websites.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He never admits his <a href="http://www.cassiopedia.org/wiki/index.php?title=Narcissism#Sexual_Narcissism">sex addiction.</a></b> <b>You are blamed for <i>'driving his mother to a heart attack</i>' </b><b>though you have no idea what that somehow was, or what was done. You don't even know her address or where she lives</b><b>. No proof is offered other than HIS word.</b> <b>You are <a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/06/how-evil-hides-from-itself.html">blamed for things</a> there was <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/07/emails/">no physical way you could have done</a> </b><b>unless you can bilocate, be invisible and fly.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Your friends are blamed for doing things on your behalf. Things which you have NO IDEA and NO CONTROL over.</b></span> <br />
<h1 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He says when he <i>found out you are fat now</i>' he said he "<i>couldn't do this to his wife</i>." Of course he had no problems 'doing that to his wife' with hookers, phone sex, etc. with anonymous women. <i>(goodness knows what germs he brought home! Condoms don't cover everything!)</i></b></span></h1>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>This is MORALLY EQUIVALENT?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="123" src="http://thomassheridanarts.com/images/thomas_sheridan_psychopath_empath.jpg" width="354" /></div>
<h2>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>YOU REALIZE THE HORRIFYING FACTS:</b></span></h2>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><b>The only, yes the <span style="text-decoration: underline;">ONLY </span>reason
this person even BOTHERED to look you and others up? Was because you
had sex a couple times over 25 years ago, back in college. </b>The <span style="text-decoration: underline;">ONLY</span> reason. </b> <b>Since he was unemployed at the time he USED & PLAYED your emotions to make you b</b><b>rainwashed & bonded to him so you'd have sex with him again. Online and hopefully, OFFLINE. He'd even worked out what he'd say about you when he ditched you - painting you are some "women scorned" LOL!!</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He couldn't afford his hookers. He wanted his lunchtime fun back. </b><b>He traded on his charisma and your feelings for him as well as you being TOO ABUSED & LONELY TO SEE WHAT HE WAS REALLY AFTER. A freebie. </b> <b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Twisted use of your <i>friendship</i></span><i>: </i></b> </span><span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">Turns out 'old friend' had online postings out there <span style="text-decoration: underline;">AT LEAST 2 YEARS PRIOR TO GETTING IN TOUCH WITH YOU</span> for </span><span style="color: #e69138;">casual sex partners. </span></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Here's just a couple of what's out there (if he hasn't found some way to try to delete them. He's even trying to blame you for "planting them" - ROFL!! And don't worry, a number of parties have screen shots):</b> </span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Eroticy.com/MySexetera/Profile/ViewProfile.asp?ID=282692 </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/MySexetera/Profile/ViewProfile.asp?ID=221863">Eroticy.com/MySexetera/Profile/ViewProfile.asp?ID=221863</a></b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=982634">http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=982634 </a></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b> </b> <b><a href="http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=982634">(UtopiaGuide confirmed to NYPD that YWL - his IP validated - removed all his posts. However they, my attorney, my estranged husband's attorney and my trauma counselors have validated, unaltered copies) </a></b></span> <br />
<h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;">
</span><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">When those ads didn't pan out, he went on the hunt and found YOU.</span><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></span><span style="color: #e69138;">So what was he LOOKING FOR? A freebie. Abused & lonely YOU.</span> <span style="color: #e69138;">And he profiled, love bombed, coerced and brainwashed you - played you like a fiddle. </span></b></span></span></h1>
<h1>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>When your abusive husband found out you became a mere inconvenience to <a href="http://lidblog.com">YWL </a>- so he went to YOUR FRIENDS. Why not? You'd already done some great P.R. for him. </b></span></h1>
<h1>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>You were his calling card. You -- the supposedly 'obsessed & lovesick' woman. <i>(sound familiar fellow survivors?)</i></b></span></h1>
<h1>
</h1>
<h1>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>How's that for being USED?</b></span><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span></span></span></h1>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>That's not even all! You realize he actually got PISSED AT YOU that your abusive husband hacked your computer and found out. He BLAMED you for that. </b> <b>Then, he went to YOUR FRIENDS for his added sexual outlets. Trading on YOUR GOOD WORDS ABOUT HIM. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>But also, <a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2007/01/mask-of-evil.html">to hurt you.</a> To hurt <span style="text-decoration: underline;">you</span> for YOU being hacked! For <i>inconveniencing </i>him. </b> <b>YWL's also FURIOUS that I, my attorney, my estranged husband, his attorney, the police in 3 counties and the FBI have VERIFIED COPIES OF ALMOST EVERY SINGLE CHAT I HAD WITH HIM and his HOOKER POSTINGs and his CASUAL SEX WANTED ADS... so he can lie, reformat his hard drive, change his online identity, dump his cell phone, get new laptops, revise history and scrub the net all he wants - the truth traces right back to him & his computer.</b></span> </div>
<h1>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>The ONLY reason he looked you up: was to turn you int</b><b>o a FREE WHORE for him.</b></span></h1>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>The person you offered to help find marriage counseling for he & his wife or find help for his problems, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>the person you'd wasted time and energy on, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>the friend you'd poured your heart out too? </b></span></div>
<h1 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>USED YOU LIKE A TISSUE AND </b></span></h1>
<h1 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>FLUSHED YOU AWAY.</b></span></h1>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="239" src="http://media-cache-ec3.pinimg.com/736x/dc/23/ec/dc23ec68e11e3fd8856c66529a204c8c.jpg" width="320" /> </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><i><b>How dare you turn out to be a real person with feelings.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><i><b>How dare you say 'OUCH YOU HURT ME' </b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><i><b>How dare you stand up about having your character shredded</b> </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><i><b>How dare you intrude on his 'reality' and his story of being YOUR 'victim.'</b></i></span></div>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><i><b>How dare you - tell the truth.</b></i></span></h2>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>What happened to your friend? That's really all you wanted. Your friend. But he never existed.</b> <b>What did you do to deserve being treated like this in the first place?</b> <b>Are you really that useless? That someone looked you up for the just sex - after 27 years? </b> <b>You were just free cybersex for this person. You weren't worth a phone call, a hello, nothing. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>However, you have been taking verbal & physical abuse BECAUSE of him. You are now on medication for trauma. You rarely leave your house.</b> <b>And yet, you meant NOTHING to him - not even worth an apology to your face. Just hate & attack - attack - attack. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: red;"><b>And to this day - he has NOT GIVEN UP LYING ABOUT ME. </b></span> <br />
<h1 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/"><i>"Instead of repenting, they project"</i></a> </b></span></h1>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>You finally decide to turn the energy you have left after dealing with your disability and your beloved children to helping other women know that they are not alone and to help them on the path to healing from men like this. </b> <b>This is long but the gory details and links are here on this site.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">I only told my story to ONE OTHER SITE, at the requests of Mrs. Green, in 2005 before I was forced to make this blog to keep the truth & facts out there as an answer to this predator's revisionist history, projection, blame-shifting and spin. </a></b></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="320" src="http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/06/6f/64/066f64e43aa554b43abe1fc346339f9d.jpg" width="282" /></div>
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author>
</wp:comment_author>
<wp:comment_author_email> </wp:comment_author_email></wp:comment><br />
#ifmywoundswerevisible<br />
---------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
<br />
<wp:comment><u><wp:comment_author_email>jessica_anne@hotmail.com</wp:comment_author_email></u>
<wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_author_ip>58.111.108.141</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2008-05-06 09:12:36</wp:comment_date> <wp:comment_content> </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Holy moly. I had a friend like this. Abusive, manipulative, vile, backpeddling, pathetic and nasty once the fake outer layer of charm and extreme friendliness and loveliness had finally worn through. Uh I can't bear to think about it. It's like this person faked their entire personality. The violation is just so huge. Sadly, you are not alone.</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_author> </wp:comment_author></wp:comment><br />
<br />
<wp:comment><u><wp:comment_author_email>samanthaqblog@hypnosisfinder.org</wp:comment_author_email>
<wp:comment_author_url> </wp:comment_author_url></u></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url>http://samstrip.blogspot.com</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_author_ip>208.54.14.106</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2009-04-09 01:28:49</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2009-04-09 06:28:49</wp:comment_date_gmt> </wp:comment><br />
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<wp:comment><wp:comment_content>Holy Hannah! I'm sorry to say you're not alone. Not sorry because . . . I'm not sure how to express what I'm feeling here. You ARE someone, you ARE a person, you ARE worthy of love, respect, peace and so much more. Nothing? No, not hardly. You just happened to fall into the gravity well of abuse. I spent too many years there myself. While our stories differ, the parts that are the same, just wow. Ouch. Neither of us, NONE OF US, deserved anything like this. We did not cause it. We did not ask for it. We did nothing to deserve this. No, you're not alone. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_content>I wish I didn't understand how this all feels, wish I didn't know from personal experience how easily this happens to us. I wish none of us had to live through any of this. I wish we all didn't have to try and heal from something so horrific many people cannot even conceive of it being real. Yes, the violation is huge. For me it was the end of everything. Everything and Nothing. People don't get it. I'm not even sure they can, which is where our healing journey becomes so much more complex. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_content>How can we get help and support if folks cannot even wrap their minds around it? If they won't even try? I wrote something four years ago as I was dealing with my lawyer, police, doctors, therapists and of course my husband and his parents that you might be able to relate to is at: http://samstrip.blogspot.com/2005/08/warning-triggers.html </wp:comment_content></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_content>It talks about two words, everything and nothing. Just be careful, because it might be triggery. No, you're not alone, but I wish I was. I wish no one else ever had, or has to go through the kinds of things we have. You ARE someone, you ARE special and important. Sam</wp:comment_content></wp:comment><br />
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<wp:comment><u><wp:comment_author> </wp:comment_author><wp:comment_author_email>unco@connectnc.com</wp:comment_author_email>
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<wp:comment_author_ip>75.138.214.248</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2009-05-25 19:36:53</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2009-05-26 00:36:53</wp:comment_date_gmt> </wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>I wish more people would expose these people for what they really are. Thanks for doing this.</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><br />
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<u><wp:comment_author_email>alicepaullives@gmail.com</wp:comment_author_email></u>
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<wp:comment_author_ip>64.118.23.217</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2009-10-06 12:21:04</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2009-10-06 17:21:04</wp:comment_date_gmt></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>I just read through this. I am six months out and away from the ex con man N and diagnosed sociopath. I of course did not know about this "diagnosis" until I was in deep and damaged too. I too was hospitalized. I too was blamed and likely am still being blamed to MY ex friends he managed to cull and then project all he did to me as what I'd done to him instead. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>I'm moving on but, the growth and healing is so slow. I had adrenal failure due to extreme stress. I still outted this person but, I never forget how dangerous he is. I am moving on with what I have left of my life a totally different person. I had no knowledge that these predators were really out there OR how they worked. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>The longer I'm out the more twisted I can see he really was. SO many things come to light when you are out. It's nauseating to think on it too much so I look to my future as much as I can. <b>But this marked me and not in a good way. I wouldn't wish this hell on earth on anyone. Tell and YOU will be painted the evil one no matter what damage was done to you, no matter how horrible...they will successfully play victim while lining up their next prey. </b> </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Making it out of this alive is quite the accomplishment since it does ruin your physical health along with the rest of your life. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content><b>I too have PTSD, adrenal failure, thyroid problems, and depression. NONE of which I had before enduring this trauma. </b> But I'm better than the hell I was in six months ago...and know you are too. Thank you for being brave enough posting your story. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment><br />
<wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Others need to be made aware that the <b>cyber world *where I met up with the sociopath* is a playground of prey for them</b>. Learn the red flags and for godsakes run the other way if you sense <i>even one</i> of those red flags in your gut to be true.</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-15441123377152797282020-07-08T21:54:00.000-04:002020-08-01T17:59:51.673-04:00MANIPULATOR EXTRAORDINAIRE<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e56/xbroken_heartsx/marionette.png" height="224" title="marionette" width="177" /> <b> </b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>While the harm most of these men inflict is emotional and psychological, there are those among them with a more dangerous twist, who feed off their victims' souls the way a leech drains the blood of its prey: drop by drop. These are the captivating vampires, whose devious masks conceal every woman's worst nightmare.</b> <b>To these men, control is like oxygen. Every sign of submission from others is like the breath of life, falsely confirming their delusion that only force & fear affirms their worth. That hidden fear is the truth that threatens their common delusion of godlike invincibility and exposes them as frightened little men, terrified of everyone and everything, including their own guilt. But guilt, for them, is intolerable.</b> <span style="color: #e69138;"><b>They twist responsibility for their cruel actions away from themselves and lay it onto their victims. Their domineering maneuvers are magically excused in their minds. They project their own selfish, manipulative and deceptive defects of character onto the very people they harm, while persistently and vigorously proclaiming themselves as blameless.</b> </span><b>He was just treating you like a goddess. He was being so sweet and attentive. Maybe he was even telling you how wonderful you are. <span style="color: #e69138;">Then, in the sudden twinkling of a diabolical eye, he's treating you like you've become a "bitch-on-wheels."</span> And you don't know why.</b> <b>He accuses you of everything from insincerity to stalking, and your mind scrambles to discover what you just said or did that's setting him off. He keeps saying it's you, and is so intensely convinced that it is you that it's hard not to believe him. </b> <b>Ultimately, it doesn't matter. There will always be something - apparently innocuous to you - which will abruptly stoke his raging fire again. And again and again, round and around, until your spirit and soul are finally ground into fine, despondent grains of charred debris, and your mind eventually looks like a Tokyo china-shop after a 9.0 earthquake.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Maybe he never physically beats you. Or maybe he never will. But you never know. He is stunningly impulsive and unpredictable. But he always assaults you emotionally, ripping into every fiber of your being with verbal vindictive, threats and accusations. Being keel-hauled over a coral reef is a cake-walk, compared to this torment.</b> <b>The only thing predictable about such a man is his extreme unpredictability. It is only after you become intimately snared into him that you discover the soul-grinder that lies waiting to strike. Until then, you may even find him amazingly attentive, sensitive and empathic to your every need. He can initially appear to be completely non-threatening. That is why it is critical to learn how to identify this type of individual, because there is a high probability that brutally sociopathic or sadistic-type personality disorders may hide behind his appealing camouflage of muted sensitivity. </b> <b>When borderline, sociopathic and sadistic disorders combine with a narcissistic disorder, a particularly deceptive and dangerous Molotov cocktail of character pathology results.</b> <b>Shortly after he had seduced his next "relationship", "Tom" developed a calculating and classically "I hate you-I love you" borderline way of mentally & sexually controlling his woman. </b> <span style="color: red;"><b> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138; font-size: large;"><b>Since he knew that the marked conscientiousness of this woman's character made her particularly loyal, he was certain his method of erotic control would work because, no matter how much she desired sex, she would never seek it with someone else and would always give in to his pressures. This was the key to his method, and his way of making her feel simultaneously responsible and guilty for her own desires and his cunning manipulation of them.</b> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Knowing that he had control of her loyalty, he would "work" her sexual longing by timing its gratification. <span style="color: #e69138;">He would do this by turning her on with words & suggestions, then losing interest by feigning "a tough day at the office," "a sore back," or some other pretext. </span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>All the while, his borderline instinct for reading her level of sexual frustration watched and waited, until he could tell that she was in a state of carnal gridlock. <span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #e69138;">He relieved himself with prostitutes and porn while she did a slow torturous boil.</span> </span>Then he released the laser intensity of his loin-lions upon her now fever-pitched libido and gratified her to the nth-degree.</b> <b>To increase the agonizing effect of this cycle upon her, he added two more factors of frustration.<span style="color: #e69138;"> He initiated the first by asking about her sexual history with a lot of 'understand & compassion', getting her comfortable enough to tell him things she'd done when younger that she felt guilt about. And he always feigned outraged and agonized sexual betrayal including laying moral guilt trips on her. </span>This ratcheted up her sense of guilt even further. <br /><br />Then - just to twist that ratchet one last click - he dropped using excuses like tough days at the office and sore backs for one that was a psychological coup de trompe' of controller manipulation. <span style="color: #e69138;">He started accusing <span style="text-decoration: underline;">her </span>of sexually abusing him!</span></b> <b>He had completely succeeded in deceiving her into believing that she was manipulating poor, morally-upright, erotically-exhausted him. And he had gotten her to cling to him! Once a this type of pathological man has succeeded in this kind of sexual "trick," or in other less genital manipulations, the Hater appears. <span style="color: #e69138;">This hateful part of him may have emerged before, but you probably will not see it in full, acidic bloom until he feels he has achieved a firm hold on your conscience and compassion. But when that part makes it's first appearance, rage is how it breaks into your life.</span></b><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span><b><br /><br />Roger Melton, M.A., L.M.F.T., CEAP </b><wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author> </wp:comment_author></wp:comment></wp:post_password></span><br />
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_email>lynchga11@yahoo.com</wp:comment_author_email>
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<wp:comment_author_ip>74.83.197.27</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2011-02-08 10:36:39</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2011-02-08 15:36:39</wp:comment_date_gmt> <wp:comment_content>This is EXACTLY what my sociopathic ex-boyfriend did to me... <b>exactly</b>... oh my god... <b>it was so incredibly painful</b>. And I almost believed him. It makes me shudder to think how close I came to having a shattered mind because of his manipulations. I am one of the fortunate ones. I got out.</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_email>lisalisa46@live.com</wp:comment_author_email><wp:comment_author_url> </wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url>48</wp:comment_author_url>
<wp:comment_author_ip>75.15.94.159</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2011-08-06 00:33:18</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2011-08-06 05:33:18</wp:comment_date_gmt> </wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_content>GODDAMN! Did you date him TOO?</wp:comment_content></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author></wp:comment_author><wp:comment_author_email>blonde_bomb_2009@hotmail.com</wp:comment_author_email>
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<wp:comment_author_ip>124.177.49.147</wp:comment_author_ip>
<wp:comment_date>2011-08-06 00:43:31</wp:comment_date>
<wp:comment_date_gmt>2011-08-06 05:43:31</wp:comment_date_gmt>
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>my life to a tee...the change in them once they’ve dropped their mask is torturously disbelieving. Whats worse is that no one else gets it or understands the brainwashing they’ve been doing, its been subtle, slow, stealth, cunning and confusing and then its devestating and can be fatal. <br /><br />If you survive, your mind is tortured by the obsessive disbelieving thoughts of this person you’ve lived with and had children with for more than two decades as he continues to defame and demonise you as the abuser, all the while he has stolen every cent of money you’ve earned while being left with PTSD trying to survive and being knifed psychologically by him at every single turn of life. Despite awareness, the event has occurred and the replaying in your mind of this person you believed was your protector is now your most evil enemy seems neverending.</wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-54915939155461918112020-01-10T23:42:00.000-05:002020-01-11T15:02:39.876-05:00YOU ARE MERELY HIS "PREY"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4CKij3i2z0U/VbGXoyNJb7I/AAAAAAAABsc/5CcNgcWsHok/s1600/narcissist3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4CKij3i2z0U/VbGXoyNJb7I/AAAAAAAABsc/5CcNgcWsHok/s320/narcissist3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i><b><b>by Ava St Clair</b></b></i> <b><b> </b></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><b>The narcissist looks for those who are kind, generous, trusting, empathetic and loving, all characteristics that the narcissist does not possess. It is as if by capturing his prey, the narcissist will somehow be able to drain the victim of her good qualities and make them become his own. Narcissists do not possess these positive characteristics. Lack of empathy, love and compassion allows the narcissist to conduct his life in an all consuming pattern of controlling behaviour steeped in abuse, lies, and manipulations.</b></b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><b>The narcissist is a human enigma to those of us that have encountered him in a personal relationship; a "murderer of souls" full of contradictions. </b></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><b>Initially, the narcissist will take note of the new target's behaviour. He will carefully study the target's interactions with others, her body language, tone of voice, and general demeanour. As an expert hunter, he will methodically craft his plan of attack and begin to track his target. The narcissist will slowly approach the target with complimentary words and statements. He will model himself and his behaviour to what he thinks will please his target. He will assume the behaviour of the target's "perfect man". The narcissist knows what the target desires in a partner and mate.</b></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: navy;"><b><b><span style="color: red;">You Want Crazy? I Got Your Crazy..</span></b></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><b>Once he has caught the eye of his target, he will move in. The narcissist will begin by coming on very strong, telling the target that she is special and of course he is too. He will say they were meant for each other because they are different. The narcissist will constantly flatter his target and be very attentive, calling her many times a day, just to say "he" was thinking of her. He will quickly become an important person in the target's life and she will find herself swept off her feet by this "wonderful, perfect man". </b></b> <b><b> </b></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><b>Once the narcissist has become totally ensconced in the target's life and her in his, the role will change for her from target to victim.</b></b> <b><b>The narcissist's dance of destruction begins with small negative comments about the victim. He will begin to mentally disassemble the victim's beliefs about herself and the relationship. What she once considered the perfect relationship now becomes a relationship that is unnerving, gut wrenching and unstable. She is constantly kept emotionally and psychologically off balance by the insidious behaviour of her narcissistic partner. </b></b> <b><b> </b></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><b>The narcissist will make plans with his victim and cancel at the last minute. He will talk only of himself, his needs and desires.</b></b> <b><b>If the victim dares to express a personal need, he will instantaneously strike, like a venomous serpent, and harshly remind the victim that his needs are more important. The victim learns all too quickly to speak only of him. The narcissist will talk of making plans with the victim for their future and then the next day speaks of the future only in terms of himself. He will conveniently forget to pay back money he has borrowed from the victim. The narcissist will even go as far as to say that the victim is "too happy" and her happiness is something that he just cannot bear. </b></b> <b><b>He will say and do terrible things under the guise that he is not like other people, that he is much more sensitive than most and that he feels so deeply about things in general that it is "difficult" for him to relate to regular people who are not "special" like him.</b></b> <b><b>The victim becomes less and less of what she used to be prior to meeting the narcissist. It becomes a vicious cycle of denigration and destruction by the narcissist until there is nothing of substance left of the victim. </b></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><b>Although the dismantling of the victim was skilfully orchestrated by the narcissist, he will unmercifully criticize the victim for "not being the person" he fell in love with. </b></b> <b><b>He will then discard the victim quickly and without regard. The cycle of destruction has been completed. The victim has been devoured by the narcissist and left by the roadside.</b></b></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-21368086123658669222020-01-05T20:12:00.000-05:002020-01-06T18:42:55.805-05:00Example Six: Is a Control Freak, Trampling Privacy/ Boundaries<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Readers, I am going to temporarily skip Kathy Krajco's <span style="color: #f6b26b;">Example #5 (Exhibits Unnatural & Perplexing Behavior -- Backwards Reactions to Things)</span> simply because <u>there is SOOOOOOOOO much to say there that I have to take my time</u>... and it will probably be a <i>long </i>post.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b> </b> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>One of the questions the victims I speak with always ask or bring up is <i>'is being a control freak part of this disorder?'</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><a href="http://photobucket.com/images/brainwashed" target="_blank"><img alt="Brainwashed Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i306.photobucket.com/albums/nn250/Jeniiibby/brainwashed.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>From what I have learned and been taught - Cluster B Pathology (which includes Narcissism & Sociopathy) - always includes the need for Absolute Power & Control in the relationship - whatever that is. And this power and control is done in a number of different ways - coercion, <a href="http://www.cosmicwalk.co.za/games-history.html">misrepresentation</a>, trance/ suggestibility/ mind control, <a href="http://www.outofthefogsite.com/CommonBehaviors.html#PathologicalLying">lying</a>, guilt-tripping and <a href="http://www.outofthefogsite.com/CommonBehaviors.html#Blaming">blame-shifting</a> to name a few.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><a href="http://www.lisaescott.com/2010/01/17/narcissists-exploit-everyone-maintain-their-delusions"><b>All these types live in a world of delusion. They exploit anyone and everyone to keep their delusions alive and valid (for them). If you question them or break the delusions in any way - you become the enemy to be destroyed. Trying to 'reason with them' or 'make them see reality' is a fool's errand. Don't bother.</b></a> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>For example: When <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/05/email-exchange-no-change-in-hate-unfortunately/">YWL <span style="text-decoration: underline;">demanded </span>I take all the postings around the net about him down</a>, I politely tried. I realized later that (as I will cover in #5) he had a backward reaction. Didn't thank me - just raged even more. I even tried to tell him what happened but he didn't want to hear it. Still doesn't. Still an upside-down reaction. Because then he'd have to deal with reality - rather than his convenient delusion of blaming me for things I didn't do and have no control over. It validates <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL</a>'s rage at me for discovering who & what he REALLY IS... in black & white... in ways even his nearest and dearest hadn't.</b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><i><b>Sociopaths and other pathologicals never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as completely permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile, controlling and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used or an object. Many like to dominate and humiliate their victims. </b></i></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>Very late in the 'relationship' <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>admitted to me he saw me ONLY as an object to be used for cybersex when he felt like it. He got bored early on after my ex-husband found out and confronted him. Just clicked back over to his cyberwhores & escorts and left me hanging - to be beaten and abused by my estranged-husband. <a href="http://lidblog.com/"> YWL </a>did this without a second thought or any remorse. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>Because to him, I was an OBJECT. And when it turned out I was a real person with real feelings - this was not part of his delusion - <span style="text-decoration: underline;">so he set about to destroy me</span>. He probably will not stop until he does. As someone once said "<i>sociopaths run from truth like vampires from a Xenon flashlight!"</i> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b> </b> <b><a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>controlled WHEN cybersex happened; he cajoled me into it one way or another; when HE felt like it. He controlled things so that I would never meet his family - as I continually requested. He's currently created a picture of me to his wife such that she believes I am evil incarnate and 'obsessed' with him, as well as 'stalking him.' This controls the "flow of information." </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b><a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>knew that I was empathetic and liked men who loved & took care of their families; were involved with their children; were honest & real. So he discussed HIS family, HIS problems and so on with me freely. This was all to support the picture he purposefully brainwashed me into believing of him as a caring father and hard worker. He knew this would keep me reeled in.</b> <b>No one in their 'right mind' would do what I did - but <u>as many therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists have told me - to my face - I wasn't in my 'right mind'. I was brainwashed. </u></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b><a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>showed only cursory interest in my issues, family, etc. His feigned interest only lasted a few months until my ex-husband confronted him. He also started to devalue me as soon as I showed him pictures of what I looked like. Despite MANY MANY MANY times me calling him on it - he convinced me he didn't care that I'd put on weight and was disabled, etc. No, he is too much of an Objectifier. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>And he proved this in his <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/07/12/lashon-hara-from-ywl/">smear </a>& <a href="http://www.outofthefogsite.com/CommonBehaviors.html#FalseAccusations">distortion campaign</a> against me. This feigned interest also kept the <a href="http://www.rosenoire.org/essays/nlp.php">NLP coercion</a> going because he knew I would not be 'sexual' with him without emotion. So the false concerns he portrayed left me believing he gave a damn and had emotions. He did not. And I now know as a sociopath - he could not and never will. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b> </b> <img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a272/JesseLuver_01/myway.png" height="320" title="my way or the highway" width="320" /> <b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>As things moved along he proclaimed he was more "needy" and his language with me and desires became more disgusting, objectified and blatantly perverse. There was no intimacy, affection or respect in what he wanted - none whatsoever. </b> <b><a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>also blocks or bans people from his website, his Facebook, his Twitter that don't agree with him; that want to have a debate or conversation with him. I have heard from a number of them. It's his way or the highway - UNLESS HE NEEDS YOU FOR SOMETHING. Any 2-way conversations are again, feigned. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>As a true salesman - showing interest in the needs of others; even false - gives the other person (or victim) the impression there is a "relationship." As the line from <a href="http://www.mahalo.com/glengarry-glen-ross-quotes">Glengarry Glenross </a>goes <i>"ABC = Always Be Closing;</i>" and <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>is always closing... for his own needs, his own desire for attention & control & power and nothing else.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>It took me over a year to figure out how <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>was IM'ing all the women on my AOL buddy list. What I realized was I'd somehow given him access. It was almost like he used me as a pimp - anything female was a target. He now included in his pick-up arsenal "<i>just ask Barbara - I'm a decent guy</i>." Since then I have developed a lot of expertise in dealing with the internet. And I have pretty much stopped IMing all together. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>Just another of the too-many-to-count examples of something <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL </a>did that was WAY over-the-line controlling: In his one of his ongoing attempts to smear me & silence me he started googling my nicknames shortly after the blowup. Digging for dirt; like the dirt Computer Crimes found on him (and what he could not find, he made up!) </b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>Here's one thing he found: <i>I have had <a href="http://www.pcosinconnection.com/">PCOS </a>since I was 9. One of the symptoms is profuse vaginal fluid. It doesn't smell at all but if you wear colored panties, the pH of it will literally 'bleach' the crotch white. I always have a mini pack of babywipes and baby powder with me to combat it. And anyone who knows me knows I<u> am very particular about my personal cleanliness</u>. </i></b> <b><i>This symptom was worse when I was younger but its still an issue.</i></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b><i>So <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL</a>stalked my posting about this in a thread on the PCOS forum at Ob/Gyn Net and posted in various places on the net that I was 'a </i><i>filthy smelly c*nt' or 'has personal hygiene issues' blah blah. (guess who REALLY has hygiene issues?)</i></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b><i>One of the women with PCOS from Ob/Gyn net which is where it was posted - found it - told me and I had it removed. One of the DOCTORS who spends time running the PCOS section contacted me. I was horrified. Thousands of women on a site for a very serious hormone disorder were horrified. The DOCTORS' panel on that site reported it to the FBI as well. </i></b> <b><i>Talk about no boundaries...</i></b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>All this to keep me from telling the truth. To scare me into silence. I am sure many of yours, readers, have gone to <a href="http://www.outofthefogsite.com/CommonBehaviors.html#ViolenceRagingAndAggression">disgusting lengths to silence you</a> too.</b></span> <span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/02/05/7-signs-of-narcissistic-control-freaks/">Seven warning signs of bullying, controlling narcissists are:</a></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/02/05/7-signs-of-narcissistic-control-freaks/">1. They think they know best about everything. They know what’s best for you; just ask them. They give you advice and make your life miserable if you don’t do what they say. They point out all your mistakes and failings. They’re spouses, relatives or friends who could direct your life better than you can. They’re yelling, threatening, demeaning bosses. Their absolute certainty seduces you into self-doubt and self-bullying. You become unsure of your own judgment and wisdom so you might as well follow theirs.</a></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/02/05/7-signs-of-narcissistic-control-freaks/">2. Their excitement is contagious and sweeps you along. Whether it’s for a new product, career, love interest or activity, it’s the best and greatest – even if it’s the opposite of what they thought 10 minutes ago. You should jump on board if you know what’s good for you.</a></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/02/05/7-signs-of-narcissistic-control-freaks/">3. They think they don’t have anything to learn. They’re new employees or interns who know everything and don’t need to learn from people who are already doing their jobs well. They’re nit-picking, micro-managers. They’re children or teenagers who won’t practice or learn, who won’t do anything the way other people say is best. They insist on doing it their way, even though they fail repeatedly. They won’t listen; especially when they’re failing.</a></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/02/05/7-signs-of-narcissistic-control-freaks/">4. They’re more important than you are. Actually, they’re more important than the rest of the world. Their <i>feelings</i> are so intense that you’re too polite or afraid to upset them by trying to make your feelings or opinions matter. Their <i>feelings </i>get hurt easily and are powerful justifications for anger, retaliation and revenge. Their jealousies, issues and concerns (not yours) become the focus of all interactions. Their desires – for promotions, toys they want, relationships they want, enemies they want to get – are the most important things and they’re entitled to get what they want. They’re controlling, stealth-bullying husbands. Your time – actually, your whole life – should be devoted to their needs (wants, whims).</a></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/02/05/7-signs-of-narcissistic-control-freaks/">5. Everyone is a pawn in their game. You have value only as long as you can help them or worship them. They’re selfish, arrogant, demanding teenagers, spouses or dates who think they should be catered to or waited on. Anyone who doesn’t help or who gets in the way becomes the enemy. You’re afraid that if you disagree or distance yourself, they’ll strike back at you.</a></b></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/02/05/7-signs-of-narcissistic-control-freaks/">6. Their excuses, excuse. Their reasons are always correct and are enough to justify what they do. If you don’t agree, you simply don’t understand or you’re evil. Their jealousies, anger and hatred are not bad characteristics – like other people’s jealousy, anger and hatred. Self-deluded narcissists (aren’t they all, by definition) think they’re merely feeling, thinking and doing what any normal person would feel, think and do. They’re saints in their own minds. You’d better agree or else.</a></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/02/05/7-signs-of-narcissistic-control-freaks/">7. Their rules, rule. They know how the world should be and how people should act. They’re allowed to do anything they want – to take, attack or strike back in any way they want – but everyone else should be bound by their rules. If your feelings are hurt by what they’ve said or done, it’s your fault and your problem. They are virtuous and righteous. They simply talk so loud, stridently and long that you give in.</a></b> <b><a href="http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/02/05/7-signs-of-narcissistic-control-freaks/">In order to thrive, we all need some of these characteristics some of the time. Narcissists have them all and they won’t give them up. They’d rather dominate than succeed or have relationships that bring out the greatest in everyone.</a></b></span></blockquote>
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<a href="http://photobucket.com/images/mind%20control" target="_blank"><img alt="Mind Control Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c286/rjkeener/mindcont.gif" height="320" width="277" /></a> <span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>The last evidence of <a href="http://lidblog.com/">YWL</a>'s being a control freak with no boundaries is his new identity - Sammy Benoit; created very shortly after the police found out about everything. And <a href="http://preyedonbyasociopath.blogspot.com/2007/05/he-said.html">his novella of "the truth about what really happened.</a>" All simply more attempts to rewrite history and control reality. As well of the reality of everyone who actually read or listened to what he had to say and didn't see how transparent and inherently abusive & contradictory it was.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>I love getting your emails or comments below on how this was done to you. I hope this continues to validate and illuminate things for you. Will continue with #7 (Is Extremely Self-Absorbed) soon!</b></span><item><description><content:encoded></content:encoded></description></item>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-58618366176880505822019-11-30T14:11:00.000-05:002019-11-30T16:33:27.127-05:00Example Four: Is Hated for Mysterious Reasons by People Close to Them<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Since <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>wouldn't allow me to get genuinely close to him (despite him saying that I was "so important" to him and he could only "really talk to" me. And him telling myself and my best friend how "devastated" he was to lose my respect and friendship... all I really have to go on is the emails I've gotten since I started this blog.</b> <b>I won't reveal the who-s... yes, I know that's suspect... but I don't feel that I should put people's trust in jeopardy. Ever. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Suffice it to say I have gotten a lot of email on this blog from people who deal <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a> on a fairly frequent basis. They describe the same odd, self-involved, inappropriate and downright rude behavior from him that I saw in college. Only now it has gotten a LOT worse. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b> </b> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><a href="http://photobucket.com/images/i%20hate%20liars" target="_blank"><img alt="I hate liars Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i646.photobucket.com/albums/uu190/runawaywolf/Decorated%20images/blank.jpg" height="164" width="308" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>I feel bad for people who <u>have </u>to tolerate <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>for a variety of reasons. I even tried to talk a couple of them into seeing something positive about him. Yes... that's right. Me. But they can't and I understand that. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>What's really bad is I do understand how having to act phony to be around someone you hate makes an honest person feel about themselves. That you are lowering yourself to the level of someone like <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>. That, I get.</b> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Here's what my late friend <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/">Kathy Krajco had to say about this trait</a>:</b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>In fact, another red flag is being hated -- I mean really hated -- for mysterious reasons. And by people that hating is uncharacteristic of.</b></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>If, say, a person's adult son or daughter doesn't even visit him in the hospital or go to his funeral,* there is a heavy-duty reason for that. Fortunately, it's not our responsibility to judge. But we do need to appreciate the weight of such a startling fact. People do things for reasons. They are not always good reasons or just reasons, but people do things for reasons.</b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>*Good examples: Abraham Lincoln did not go to his father's funeral, and Barbara Bush did not go to her mother's funeral.</b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b><i>"What Makes Narcissists Tick", pg. 79</i></b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>And here's what my friend <a href="http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2009/02/more-red-flags-history-of-past.html">Anna Valerious has to say</a>:</b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b>This red flag is well understood by those of us who have been through hell with a narcissist and found ourselves loathing them and forcing no contact for our protection. We would be very unlikely to judge someone else harshly if we found out they had inordinate hatred for a particular person even a parent or sibling. So this red flag is one most of us would readily understand.</b></span><span style="color: maroon;"><b><span style="color: #f6b26b;"></span></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: maroon;"><b><span style="color: #f6b26b;">Unfortunately, most people out there in the world do not have any of this understanding. They are far too quick to judge what they don't know. They are quick to condemn our hatred of a malignant narcissist as being wrong. They are naive to a fault about people who are capable of earning such hatred -- so they condemn us.</span></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: maroon;"><b><span style="color: #f6b26b;">This red flag should be put on billboards and written with sky-writing: </span><span style="color: #ea9999;">Respect the fact that people do things for reasons therefore don't be willing to judge what you know nothing of.</span></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: maroon;"><b><span style="color: #f6b26b;">Remember, Kathy is talking about a mysterious, intense hatred for a particular person in someone whom you know doesn't go around routinely hating people. Narcissists, on the other hand, have a very long "enemies list" so it <u>can't</u> be said it is uncharacteristic of them to hate others. It is their default and normal setting. But when you meet someone who typically gets along well with most people then know for sure that if they hate someone there is a reason for it.</span></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: maroon;"><b><span style="color: #ea9999;">It isn't for you to judge whether or not the reason is "good." Frankly, it isn't anyone's damn business. </span></b></span></div>
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<a href="http://photobucket.com/images/lied%20to" target="_blank"><img alt="lied Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z108/cooksy/lied.png" /></a> <span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Do I hate <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>? No. Hate is active. I have had a few people I considered really good friends at one time suddenly do the most unconscionable things to me. My therapist and I went through these things one by one and often we found these people probably had some sort of personality disorder; since I was a target for them. Second, they often did things just as bad or worse to others... so it wasn't "personal." And hating people that do that takes too much energy. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>People like <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>aren't worth my wasting my energy on when there are other things I can and DO do that serve a much better and more healing purpose.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>I do hate what he does - like using women and lying about it. I do his view of women as warm plumbing and the things he does to coerce sex out of them... including paying for it.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>He also denies hating me "<i>four years ago</i>"... with the underlying 'unsaid' being "but I hate you now for exposing my secret life you bitch." (subtleas a brick) In fact he said he didn't have "time" for hate for a couple reasons in this exchange... yet I was shown that within a few hours he was posting some of these things around the net. </b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>I do hate how he made me feel. I do hate why he did this to me. And I do hate people who lie and who try to 'drum up' support for a smear campaign to cover their misdeeds. You know - the "<i>she's a scorned woman, bunny boiler, crazy, psycho, stalker... blah blah blah."</i> Yes, THAT nonsense I hate. About anyone. It's childish and its a big neon sign of lying, in part, to divert people away from the truth. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LI_Oe-jtgdI" width="460"></iframe></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>implied that I have such an 'out of control ego' that I am simply angry because he didn't love me and because he wouldn't "<i>bang</i>" me. Pure projection. He also has a bridge in Brooklyn for sale, I hear.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>I do hate liars. And particularly people who lie to exploit and coerce others - men, women... anyone who abuses someone's trust in them to get what they want. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>(<i>And I hate the terrorists that attacked NYC on 9/11 - a lot of us NYers took that personally. I still do.)</i> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b> </b> <b>I always say to my children "<i>I don't hate you but I do hate your behavior.</i>" This applies to <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>also.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>What about your sociopath or narcissist? Do you hate them?</b></span><br />
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author>XXXXX</wp:comment_author><wp:comment_author_email>@mail.net</wp:comment_author_email> <wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_date_gmt>2009-12-26 07:52:10</wp:comment_date_gmt>
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Barbara I wanted to thank you so much for all the investigative work you have done over time on the many different techniques that can be used on the human mind/psyche to brainwash and/ or hypnotize a person. I feel some of this was attempted on me and up until I read some of the stuff on your site about hypnosis and brainwashing, I hadn't a clue as to how very real that stuff is! Frightening. And by the way Barbara, I have read about this monster that caused you so much pain and mental and emotional & physical anguish – I read many of the links and have seen his pic, read his political blog, and the other links that showed where he rated escorts, all of that. It was truly an amazing insight into how sick and depraved the human mind can become – so thank you for posting it and being so honest. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>He’s obviously sexually perverted and lacking basic morals and integrity all the while trying to portray himself as an upstanding intellectual in the political & religious communities he rubs elbows in. He may say he’s changed – but we all know these types never change… they just get sneakier. He is beyond pathetic, beyond disgusting. </wp:comment_content></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password><br />
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<wp:post_password><wp:comment><wp:comment_author_url><wp:comment_content>Barbara, you are an angel… your honesty is helping me heal. God bless you.</wp:comment_content><wp:comment_approved></wp:comment_approved></wp:comment_author_url></wp:comment></wp:post_password></blockquote>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-47648621581792220522019-11-23T18:48:00.000-05:002019-11-23T23:33:47.226-05:00Example Three: Has a History of Past Upheavals<blockquote>
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><i>If you know a narcissist's history, you will usually see a track of mysterious upheavals in his life. He suddenly up and moves to a different school or job in a different town every few years. That is, every time the good angels in his Pathological Space start comparing notes, get his number, and become enraged. In one narcissist I know of, these upheavals began with one in the eighth grade.</i> " <a href="http://www.escapeabuse.com/npd.pdf">What Makes Narcissists Tick" pg. 79</a></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b>In other words, once the narcissist has crapped enough in one place and it begins to stink they have to move on. The pile of excrement near the narcissist has made it clear to others who is doing the crapping. All that dung is what we call 'exposure'. Thus requiring a new scene for the narcissist.</b></span></div>
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<b> <a href="http://photobucket.com/images/dont%20go%20away%20mad" target="_blank"><img alt="Dirty Harry Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i547.photobucket.com/albums/hh473/Redelephant47_bucket/Go-Away-Dont_go_mad.jpg" /></a></b></div>
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<b> <span style="color: #9fc5e8;">With <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>it's not only exposure... but not getting his way or people disagreeing with him.</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/12/09/she-claims-this-man-ywl-hurt-her-hurt-read-on/">Instance one with me</a>:</span> In December 1976, <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>packed up and left the college we were attending and went to another. I didn't know where he went, he never bothered to even tell me he was going - where he was going - or keep in touch. The next time I heard from him was April 2002 when HE (yes HE) looked me up on Classmates.com. I have the first email and the police found his Classmates account and retrieval of my email to contact me, which blows the nonsense he's been spreading about me stalking him for years out of the water.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Now prior to leaving, his roommate, David - was teasing him relentlessly. <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/"> YWL </a>introduced David and I and David dominated my life for the next 3 years. (I didn't find out until a couple weeks before I graduated that David was obsessed with me, that others knew about his obsession and waited until the bitter end to tell me. David tried to kill me and control my whole life... David was, I believe, the first sociopath I ever dealt with personally.)</b> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>David had asked <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>if he'd ever slept with me. You see, David was enamored with me at the time and he asked me about my relationship with <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>and I was HONEST! I said 'yes, that I cared about <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>.'</b> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span><span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> YWL later told me (to cover his derriere) that he <i>didn't think it was anyone's business</i> rather than admitting he lied. <a href="http://www.theeroticreview.com/"><i>(The fact that he published reviews of all the escorts he saw on a number of Hooker-Review-Sites tells me he thinks his amoral exploits are EVERYONE'S business!) </i></a></span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"></span><span style="color: #f6b26b;">There's a big difference between that and OUTRIGHT LYING! Which is what he did... and in a typically cruel and hurtful way. </span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">A bunch of us were in <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>and David's room. I was sitting at the end of David's bed with our friend Dan, looking out the window. I audibly heard David ask <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>if he'd been intimate with me. YWL's response is one I never forgot.</span></b></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></b></span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i><b>"HER?? I would NEVER sleep with her!</b></i></span> <span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i><b>She's not my type.</b></i></span> <span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i><b>Besides she's not even Jewish."</b></i></span></div>
</blockquote>
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>I got up an excused myself from the room. Didn't tell anyone I'd heard that dagger in my stomach. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>But <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>had been blowing me off and avoiding me since he started rooming with David. </b> <b>This "I would NEVER..." incident did it for me. I started to ignore <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>and avoid him too.</b> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>wasn't quite done with <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/12/09/she-claims-this-man-ywl-hurt-her-hurt-read-on/">harming me</a>. Sociopathic types never are with open-hearted people. No. Just before he packed up and left, <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>told David that yes, in fact he HAD been intimate with me. And then bolted the school and any responsibilities he may have had towards anyone there.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>The result? When I returned from Winter Break in early January 1977, David called my room (which was right downstairs) and asked me to come up. He'd obviously been ruminating over the break. He'd called my home a few times during break to chat, saying he missed me, but said nothing about this revelation. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>But now, I walked into David's room and he grabbed me by the shoulders and yelled that <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>had confirmed that we had been intimate and that he was furious with me! I was pushed/ thrown into <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s old now-empty closet. I got up and ran downstairs, locking myself in my room. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>This was the beginning of the contentious campaign and dramatically covert abusive relationship David ran on me almost until we graduated.</b> <b>I am lucky to be alive. And I never heard an apology from YWL, nor anying "owning" of the results of his behavior towards me ever. <a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=EJLSnbvDD9sC&pg=PA103&lpg=PA103&dq=sociopath+%2B+remorseless&source=bl&ots=fqg8_Dp8fS&sig=3ZTEgWXZ70KFSalnWPopETwfTGo&hl=en&ei=uhcKS7GePIKulAep_KCFBA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CA8Q6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=sociopath%20%2B%20remorseless&f=false">REMORSELESS</a>. </b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b>This history of past upheavals can be more subtle than the narcissist having to physically pull up stakes and move to a new place. This is what Kathy is talking about though. If you are acquainted with someone who keeps telling you about how they had to get rid of this person, that person and the other person where all the blame rests on the other party or they had to get away -- you are witnessing a "history of past upheavals" and it is a sign you are looking at a narcissist. Moving about geographically is only one outward sign of past upheavals. High turnover in social circles and relationships is the subtler sign. I call it subtler because it requires a knowledge of that person's social history for you to follow the trend.</b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>later put me on the defensive <i>(see article excerpts at the bottom of this post)</i> by saying that he thought "David made me hate [him]." Not that he'd put me on the curb like garbage when he was done using me. No... <a href="http://www.cosmicwalk.co.za/games-victims.html">somehow HE was the victim!</a></b> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>also says that HE broke up the 5 year engagement relationship between himself and his ex-fiance (the person he says he SHOULD have married). I wonder about that. From what he told me, if there was any truth to it... it was volatile and revolved around sex, sex and more sex. (who knows what was real and what wasn't there) </b> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>also has a poor job history since 2001. Lots of periods of unemployment. Whether it be redundancy, turnover or just bad timing... this guy's having a lot of problems maintaining income. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>He looked me up online during a period of unemployment and manipulated, brainwashed and lied to me to turn me into some 'online freebie.' Something I would never have been on my own if I wasn't brainwashed!</b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b>Kathy stated that, "every time the good angels in his Pathological Space start comparing notes, get his number, and become enraged" that it forces the narcissist to fold up his tent and move away.<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"> </span></b><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"> </span></span><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><b>It is possible that the narcissist you know has managed to arrange a Pathological Space where there are no "good angels" to hold him or her to account.</b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>Remember<a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/21/non-apologies/"> YWL's lame apology</a> about what happened? I know Elizabeth mentioned numerous times how he PROMISED her he'd be back in touch once he calmed his wife down. She had a very hard time believing she'd been dumped so quickly. But once she did realize it - <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/08/what-i-did-did-not-do/">she was enraged. </a> </b></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><b>I myself, have never heard from him again - and hope I never do. Just the thought of attempting to be polite to him again and his backward reaction to anything makes my stomach churn. </b></span></div>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b>Sometimes the narcissist is able to form a family circle (or any social circle) in which there are no dissenters. Either the dissenters have fled or have been forcefully ousted by the majority rule of the narcissist and his underlings. </b></span></div>
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b>This scenario of the narcissist gaining a large enough mass of sychophants, enablers, <i>beta</i> narcissists in his Pathological Space means it can camoflage this red flag to onlookers and acquaintances. Beware.</b></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b>In this case <a href="http://twitter.com/yidwithlid">look for a cult following</a>. If you find a person with a cult-leader type of effect on the people in his social circle then you can be damned sure you're looking at a narcissist. In a cult-type setting it always looks like the "Cult Leader" is the <a href="http://twitter.com/yidwithlid">immovable rock never having to vacate his setting but forcing out those who don't fit in</a>. It is a fake-out form of stability. Remember that families can be cult-like in construct.</b></span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b> <a href="http://photobucket.com/images/sore%20loser" target="_blank"><img alt="sore loser Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/bobtheshadowman/soreLoser-pnged.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>This may or may not be what is going on with <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s family and friends - I don't know but from what I've heard it is: no dissent allowed. (Another reason why he's such a good example for people to understand this type of Pathological) </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Oddly, <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>did tell me (the police & my lawyer have the verified chats) many times that his mother and sister sexually abused him when he was a child, numerous times. <a href="http://www.cosmicwalk.co.za/games-victims.html">Looking for sympathy again with a constructed lie?</a></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><a href="http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2009/06/open-invitation-to-yidwithlid.html">Click here for another example</a> of <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s lack of tolerance for a difference of opinion and getting as far away from debate and fair discussion as possible; unapologetically.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>To finish the example here, some excerpts from a wonderful article by <a href="http://www.powercommunicating.com/">Steve Becker, LSCW</a>:</b></span> <br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Accepting the Blame to Preserve the Relationship</b></span></span></h2>
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><b>Here’s a theme I think we can relate to: Your partner (<i>a male in this example, strictly for convenience’s sake</i>)—a narcissist, or perhaps sociopath—blames you for his misery, bad moods, bad decisions, frustrations, dissatisfactions, disappointments and underfulfillment.</b> </span><span style="color: red;"><b><span style="color: #f6b26b;">From his perspective, if he cheats on you—or deceives and betrays you—you will have deserved it, because you will have been responsible for the discontent that necessitated his violating behaviors.</span></b></span><span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><span style="color: #f6b26b;"> </span><b>Remember he feels entitled to have what he wants; he deserves what he wants, when he wants it; and if he’s frustrated, it must be someone’s fault.</b> <b>Someone must be blamed, and you, his partner, will be his odds-on choice to own his blame.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><b> </b> </span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><b>It’s amazing how often we accept, against our better instincts, the narcissistic/sociopathic partner’s insistence that we are responsible for his infinite emptiness.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><b> </b><b> </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><b>We do so for many reasons, but the one I’d like to stress is this: If we don’t accept this responsibility, his blame, we seriously risk losing the relationship.</b></span></div>
..............<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm190/OhSherrys/someecards/hol_fd_2.jpg" height="178" title="scare away" width="320" /> <span style="color: maroon;"><b> </b></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;"><b>A couple I spent some time with recently (clinically) illustrated this point well. The husband, Harold, was one of the most transparent narcissistic personalities I’ve ever seen. He’d recently ended an affair with a colleague <i>(justifying the affair as a function of his right to pursue the fulfillment his spouse, Julia, wasn’t supplying</i>).</b> <b>......... But while recognizing these alarming warnings, she was already too deeply invested in her vision of the relationship—and Harold—to end it.</b> </span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">-------------------------</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>On a final note, <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>'justified' his 'relationships' with both myself and Elizabeth by telling both of us (remember verified copies of chats are on file) that his wife was cold, pious, hated sex, he was sooooo lonely, he NEEDED, he couldn't handle the lack of love/ sex... etc... </b> <b>There is NO JUSTIFICATION for the depraved games a pathological grooms & lures us into. None whatsoever. <a href="http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/"> The blame is solely theirs.</a></b> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/">Kathy Krajco's</a> Example Four: </b><b>is Hated for Mysterious Reasons by People Close to Them - is next. It will probably be short because a lot of it is covered in this post!</b>
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-78979246519053150812019-11-19T21:24:00.000-05:002019-11-19T18:39:01.289-05:00Example Two: Damages the Images of Most Others<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>This one's almost too easy. So I am going to do the obvious, with a disclaimer -- For some image damaging: <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s blog. Just read it.</b> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>That said, let me add that on <a href="http://barbarany_9.blogspot.com/">my personal blog</a>, I vent my spleen on a lot of politicians and other persons who's actions harm others and that I have deep disagreement with. I am a Mayflower descendant and a Daughter of the American Revolution so for me - it's practically a birthright.</b> </span><span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>and myself and every blogger out there has every right to say whatever we want about whoever we want </span><span style="color: #f6b26b;">AS LONG AS IT'S OPINION OR WE CAN BACK IT UP WITH HARD FACTS.</span></b></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #f6b26b;"> </span></b></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Unfortunately, <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>went the extra step with me...<a href="http://preyedonbyasociopath.blogspot.com/2007/05/he-said.html"> he posted things that he wants and NEEDS people to <span style="text-decoration: underline;">believe </span>I did</a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"> </a>- which I did not, could not and would not. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><i>(The funny thing I find is that this "STORY OF..." went a lot further than me. He'd been using that nickname a loooooong time before me - which I learned from what law enforcement turned up on him. I was a small blip in that sordid 'STORY')</i></b> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://photobucket.com/images/men%20idiot" target="_blank"><img alt="face palm Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj51/crys77/polar-bear-face-palm_thumbnail1.jpg" height="299" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>He made sure to tell these things to people who don't know me, don't know my character and others who he's made damn sure will never know me - like his wife. Aside from <a href="http://www.jewishblogging.com/blog.php?bid=96316">this post</a> of his... (and his comments <a href="http://preyedonbyasociopath.blogspot.com/2007/05/he-said.html">here, since he tried to scrub this off his blog</a>) there are a few other things have trickled down to me from people who he's spoken to about me like, I AM:</b></span> <br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>a predator</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>obsessed with him</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>lost my virginity to him so I am fixated on him for life</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>stalking him (online and off)</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>harassing him</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>lying about him</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>making things up or planting lies online</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>a bunny boiler</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>a scorned woman</b></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>a horror</b></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>...and many other minor, juvenile things. ALL VERIFIABLY INCORRECT!!!</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b> </b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: red;"><b><i><span style="color: #f6b26b;">The narcissist will project that off onto the most conspicuously well spoken person in the group, someone who avoids gossip and never spreads vicious rumors about others, someone who often praises and speaks well of other people instead. Therefore, you have to be a complete idiot to believe the narcissist when he tells you that this person is maligning him. - <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/">Kathy Krajco</a></span></i> </b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: purple;"><b> <span style="color: #6fa8dc;">Let me comment on each of these assertions of his one by one just to make the point about how these Pathologicals operate:</span></b></span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> <b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Predator</span> - <i>I'm not the one who labeled him a predator. <a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">EOPC </a>did, in their educated opinion labeled him that. So he engaged in <a href="http://narcissism-support.blogspot.com/2009/01/projection-made-easy.html">projection</a>. As far as what <a href="http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html">EOPC </a>opines helps make him a predator, from what myself and Elizabeth told them: I have never used online dating <span style="text-decoration: underline;">ever</span>; I never scoured the reunion sites looking for old 'friends'; I have never used hookers; I have never had sex without emotion on my part; I have never posted online about using hookers and I have never used 'friends' as leverage to get to their other friends to try to start affairs. I also never ever physically cheated on my ex-husband.</i></b> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Obsessed with Him</span> - <i>Most victims of pathologicals go through a period of trying to 'figure it all out' and deprogramming from the brainwashing and gaslighting pathologicals do. Therapists and Counselors told me it can take over 18 months and I can safely say I am way beyond that now. Despite it taking me years for the cognitive dissonance to wear off, I simply don't have the time or inclination to be obsessed with anyone but my children.</i></b> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">I 'lost my virginity to' him so I 'am fixated" </span>- <i>No. I was not a virgin when we were intimate first time in the Fall of 1975. I did bleed all over him and 2 days later had to go to the Student Health Center to be checked out and found I had internal bruising and tearing. Something the other 2 people I had been intimate with did not do to me. </i></b> <b><i> </i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><i>By the way, <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>never called or came by my dorm to check on me or did <span style="text-decoration: underline;">anything </span>to find out if I was o.k. afterward. An early red flag that he couldn't care less but I was too young and uneducated about these types to know.</i></b> <b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stalking Him (online and off) </span>- <i>No. I turned everything over to law enforcement in March 2004. I had no computer for over a year and MY online activity was monitored, as I believe was his. I enforce no contact - which is fine as I know he will never speak to me again. </i></b> <b><i>As far as offline, no way. It's over an hour, one way to his house and because of my disability I can't always sit and drive that far for that long. His accusations are about middle-of-the-night things. </i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><i>He's also accused a friend of mine of doing this for me. Sorry, she and I are both single mothers and have no time or reason to bundle up our children in the middle of the night to go to his house and do whatever-it-is-we-supposedly-did. I think I have been in his county maybe 2 times in the last year to go shopping. But I have no intention of following him in person nor am I physically well enough to do so. My doctors would attest to this. </i> <i>(And did to the Detective he and his wife went to and told I was 'stalking' him. Of course, he provided no real proof just words.)</i></b> <b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Harassing Him</span> - <i>No. I don't need more of his endless narcissistic rage. I am too ill and my PTSD issues are permanent now. I need to expend energy on my children and my own health. He simply isn't important enough to me. I can not, however, control what Elizabeth Green does or does not do... although I have taken enough blame for it.</i></b> <b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Lying About Him</span> - <i>No reason to do so. Hence this blog with some evidence. I have absolutely nothing to gain by lying about him. I also had plenty to lose by telling the truth, but I did so for my own healing. Besides I am a bad liar and always have been. Again - this is <a href="http://narcissism-support.blogspot.com/2009/01/projection-made-easy.html">projection</a>. </i></b> </span><span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span></span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;"><b><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Making Things Up or Planting Lies Online</span> - </span><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">No. <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>demanded a while back I get posts about him taken down. He of course, didn't care to follow up ("she wants me to listen. NO WAY BITCH") that I couldn't get things taken down, though I did try. Why?</span><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span> </span></i></b></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><i>BECAUSE AS MANY OF THE SITES TOLD ME AND I FORWARDED THE EMAILS TO HIM - THEIR REASON: I WAS NOT THE PERSON WHO POSTED THEM THERE </i></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b><i>IN THE FIRST PLACE! </i></b></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><i> Besides, what he did to me was so monstrous, there is no need to be a "good emglisher" (<a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/14/ywls-threat-march-19-2004/">as he claimed to be in his first threat towards me</a>). It's unbelievable enough to those who have never dealt with a Pathological.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Bunny Boiler</span> - <i>I like bunnies. I love animals and most of my pets have been very protective of me. I couldn't dissect a frog in high school and I certainly would never boil a bunny. My doctor will also tell you, I am allergic to game food.</i></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Scorned Woman</span> - <i>How old & tired is this comment? As if women can't be angry or upset when someone craps all over them? I guess we're not allowed to get peeved when someone plays with our mind, uses us for sex and lies about us every chance they get. And Elizabeth will tell you, I offered a few times to totally back off so she & he could be happy together. And I offered to help him find help for the "bad marriage" he convinced me he was stuck in. And NO, I don't want him. I am not the least bit 'jealous' of his wife nor am I upset that, as he says he "wouldn't f*ck" me. Why would I be jealous when I kept saying NO to him and kept telling him to work on his marriage? (I have all the verified chats to prove this). Nothing to be jealous of, really.</i> </b> <b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">A Horror</span> - <i>All I can say is I don't go out much but when I do, I have never seen people look at me and run away screaming or crying. When <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>and I had lunch in September 2003 he tried to make fun of me "dyeing" my hair. I can safely say I haven't dyed my hair since my acting career had to stop in 1995 and I have plenty of gray hair now to prove that.</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b><i> </i></b></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>Pathologicals say & do many things to make themselves look good. One of the main ways - is damaging the images of most others. Many times <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>said a few times his ex-fiance, Robyn's husband, Marty was "gay." He questioned if my ex-husband is "gay." (Even though the police and my attorney still have the chat where <u>he asked </u>if I could set him up with one of my gay friends so he could 'try it out.' INSENSITIVE!)</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>What is even more nasty and odd is that when he found out I have a number of gay male friends, he first called me a "<i>fag hag</i>" then asked if I could find out if one of them would be <i>willing to have sex with</i> him one time so he could <i>know what that was like</i>. Don't worry I didn't even consider doing it!</b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span> <a href="http://photobucket.com/images/bunny%20boiler" target="_blank"><img alt="ist2_939409_bunny_boiler.jpg Pictures, Images and Photos" border="0" class="aligncenter" src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f349/cataine/ist2_939409_bunny_boiler.jpg" /></a> <span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span></div>
<h2>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>What a Narcissist Does to Those He Slanders</b></span></span></h2>
<h2>
</h2>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b> <i>by Kathy Krajco</i></b> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>One of the tricks of the dramatic fiction-writing trade is to know, and focus on, a particular aspect of human nature. It is this: Every person's most precious possession is the image of him- or her-self that each carries around inside. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>Fact: <i>People will do ANYTHING to preserve and protect it. </i>Fact: <i>Nobody can bear to have that be the image of an evil person.</i></b> </span><span style="color: #993300;"><b><span style="color: #f6b26b;">This is why character assassination is the fate worse than death. That's why it's called "destroying" a person. This is why it drives people to murder and suicide. </span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #993300;"><b><span style="color: #f6b26b;"> </span><span style="color: #ea9999;">Even criminals who have committed violent crimes treasure a self concept of themselves as essentially good inside. And many, perhaps even most, are.</span></b></span><span style="color: #ea9999;"> <b>Storytellers exploit this by creating a situation in which the hero's self-concept is threatened. That's automatic maximum motivation. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>For example, <i>Hamlet</i>'s self concept is that of an honorable man. So Shakespeare has his father's brother come along and seduce his mother, murder his father the king, and then stain the throne of Denmark with an incestuous marriage to his mother in order to keep the throne from going to Prince Hamlet as it should.</b> <b>What are people going to think of Hamlet if he goes along with this? If he just looks the other way at the murder of his own father? What is Hamlet going to think of himself?</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>But it's a Catch-22, because everyone else is sucking up to the usurper, so they dishonestly view Hamlet as crazy for suspecting the usurper and will condemn him as evil for doing justice. So, Hamlet is damned as a bad person either way. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>If you put a character like Hamlet in a predicament like this, you have yourself a whopper of a story with it's own engine roaring and ready to go.</b> <b>Since before recorded history, there have been stories of ghosts. According to legend, not just anyone who dies could become a ghost. A ghost was someone who could not rest in peace. He could not accept what had happened to him. Usually that's because he was murdered in some diabolical way, either as Hamlet's father was or as Jesus of Nazareth was -- by <i>being framed and executed for crimes he never committed</i>. He died a criminal.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b> </b> </span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>Put yourself in his shoes. Could you tolerate that? No. Nobody can. <i>Nobody can tolerate the whole world believing they're evil when they're not, especially when the person who has falsely accused them is the evil one and comes out smelling like a rose</i>. That turns the whole world upside down, making good evil and evil good. It is an INTOLERABLE state of affairs! Human nature cannot abide it.</b> <b>Indeed, even the blessed spirits in Heaven are said to be unable to stand it. For, that's precisely what started the mythical war in Heaven between St. Michael the Archangel and Lucifer, who later became known as Satan (which means the "accuser" or "character assassin").</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b> </b></span></div>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>That's the reasoning upon which is founded the belief that Jesus will return. The early Christians expected him to return to Jerusalem any day, with an army of angels.</b> <b>Do you think that he would have been in a good mood?</b> </span><span style="color: #993300;"><b><span style="color: #ea9999;">They didn't. Who did they think they were fooling? Me? I'd know I hadn't fooled him, and</span><span style="color: red;"> <span style="color: #f6b26b;">I'd be scared shitless of anybody I did that to.</span></span><span style="color: #f6b26b;"> </span><span style="color: #ea9999;">So, what would you do if someone you had done that to returned returned with great power? Tremble, eh?</span></b></span><span style="color: #ea9999;"> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>That's why the traditional representations of the Second Coming are of it as "a day of wrath, a dreadful day." In this upside down world Jesus is the bad guy and the Sanhedrin and the people of Jerusalem are the good guys. Like St. Michael the Archangel, he is going to turn the world right-side up again by giving the real bad guys the reputation they deserve.</b> <b>You needn't be a Christian to get the import of this story. The narcissist plays the part of the Sanhedrin (which was indeed narcissistic and envious of Jesus). The people of Jerusalem play the part of everyone who listens to his slander and calumny of you, even though it flies in face of the facts of your known conduct, gobbling it up just because it's juicy and because condemning others makes them feel righteous. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>If, say, this happens in the workplace, Pontius Pilate plays the part of the boss.</b> </span><span style="color: #f6b26b;"><b>There is nothing worse you can do to a human being.</b></span> <span style="color: #993300;"><b><span style="color: #ea9999;">So, if this has happened to you, <span style="text-decoration: underline;">your feelings are natural</span>. Don't make it worse by feeling guilty about them and trying to bury them. </span><span style="color: #f6b26b;">You cannot accept it. </span><span style="color: #ea9999;">But you can accept your feelings. So do. You just hunger and thirst for justice. What's so bad about that?</span></b></span><span style="color: #ea9999;"> <b>If you bide your time, maybe someday you'll get it. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>But unfortunately, you probably won't, because there's very little true justice in this world. That place has been diseased and corrupted by the malignant influence of the narcissist. So just leave it, and kick its dust from your feet as unfit habitation for decent people.</b> <b>Indeed, would you rather trade places with them? He owns them. He doesn't own you.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/"><b>SOURCE</b></a> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"></span><br />
<center>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/o7aShcmEksw" width="420"></iframe></center>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><b>The next will be Number Three: <i>They Have a History of Past Upheavals.</i></b> <b>Feel free to post YOUR examples from your Pathological here, too! </b></span>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-4316746281520479162019-02-26T20:52:00.000-05:002019-02-27T01:18:13.667-05:00DOCUMENTATION AND THE NO-SPIN ZONE<b><span style="color: purple;">I will let the documentation below speak for itself.</span></b> <b><span style="color: purple;">I have <span style="text-decoration: underline;">only</span> removed names and XX'd out email addresses to protect the privacy of others and avoid their possible identity theft. </span></b> <b><span style="color: red;"> </span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: red;">PLEASE NOTE: SOME ADULT MATERIAL WITHIN THE EMAILS... </span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TYqXR00Xucc/VY3z1SCK83I/AAAAAAAABpA/j21U5j0b91w/s1600/your%2Bdick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TYqXR00Xucc/VY3z1SCK83I/AAAAAAAABpA/j21U5j0b91w/s320/your%2Bdick.jpg" width="224" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: red;">In the interest of Truth I was advised to not delete them so please be advised!</span></b> <span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Elizabeth was, like me, suffering from a triggering of her PTSD when everything came out. She has a history of being severely sexually abused by an adoptive parent as well as an ex husband and is on permanent disability. Wounded and vulnerable. However her triggers do express themselves differently from mine.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>At the bottom I have also included email I received from law enforcement. <i>(little did I know when I went to report a threat from <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a> to myself & my children, that law enforcement would open a can of really slimy worms. I had NO IDEA how far and deep<a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/"> YWL's</a> addictions went or that I was just a minor speed bump in <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s problems until then.)</i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>I am using actual, dated emails to clarify who did what. Header data included where I could get it to copy. These may be out of date order. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b> </b> <b>PLEASE NOTE some of [<a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>]s online 'personal ads' are posted - these were VERIFIED and some are still available online. Most of them were MONTHS before he got in touch with me (which was April 2002). </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>So yes, he lied to me from day one. </b> <b>He's shielding his wife from me... and shielding himself from me - why? only possible real reason could be - because I know the truth. Easier to make me a scapegoat and a pariah and cast me out on the trash heap as a bad bad bad person. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>YWL left me one message during it all saying he didn't want "to lose me out of his life" and I was "too important to him." I was never allowed IN his life. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"> <b>Make up your own mind. Based on FACT. Honest reporting. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Here's what I had that I can legally post:</b></span></div>
<span style="color: purple;"><b> </b> </span> <br />
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xxxx@hotmail.com<br />
Free Newsletters Reply Reply | Reply All Reply All | Forward Forward | Delete Delete | Junk Mail Junk | Put In Folder Put in Folder | Print Print View | Contact Save Address Inbox Sent Messages Drafts Trash Can etc etc Report Junk E-Mail Report and Block Sender From : Elizabeth GrXXX Sent : Friday, October 15, 2004 3:19 PM To : "Barbara C" Subject : one more thought Go to previous message | Go to next message | Delete | etc etc | Inbox MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Originating-IP: [65.54.98.107] X-Originating-Email: [elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com] X-Sender: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com Received: from hotmail.com ([65.54.173.55]) by mc10-f24.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Fri, 15 Oct 2004 12:21:39 -0700 Received: from mail pickup service by hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Fri, 15 Oct 2004 12:20:01 -0700 Received: from 65.54.98.107 by BAY5-DAV25.phx.gbl with DAV;Fri, 15 Oct 2004 19:19:47 +0000 X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jHf3EGn+RrISpoogOtLfOnE References: X-MSMail-Priority: High X-Mailer: MSN 9 X-MimeOLE: Produced By MSN MimeOLE V9.10.0006.2205 Seal-Send-Time: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 12:19:47 -0700 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 15 Oct 2004 19:20:01.0945 (UTC) FILETIME=[F7E7F890:01C4B2EB] Return-Path: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com View E-mail Message Source Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0055_01C4B2B1.42A0B380" Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable<br />
<br />
I am toying with [YWL]. I just wanted to tweak his ugly self. I am sorry it upset you. But the man deserves everything he's going to get and more. O.K. so I lied about my age... so I am 55 not 45 like I told him - but what he did is a lot worse!<br />
<br />
He told me he loved me and he'd be back around once he smoothed it over with the wife. Then he dumped his cell phone so I couldn't do anything other than call his office.<br />
<br />
I already told his boss, PoXXXr and his parents. He's not getting away with this.<br />
<br />
Love, Elizabeth<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
Support Israel: Fed Up with Media Bias? http://www.geocities.com/truthmasters/jointheboycott.htm Israel News and Commentary @ http://israpundit.com/ Lend a Hand to Israeli Businesses @ http://lendahand.freeservers.com/ Help the Israeli Economy @ http://www.buyisraelgoodsorg/big.net/ ----- Original Message -----<br />
<br />
From: Barbara C To: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com Sent: Subject: FW: Re: one more thought<br />
<br />
Please remove me from your mail list Elizabeth. That is my private email address now and [YWL] is still on your lists. My other mail is now being monitored with NYPD and I want nothing to do with it.<span style="text-decoration: underline;"> I want no contact with him</span> and I am sure he'd like to see me dead. He disposed of me in 1976 and he disposed of me this time too. And <b>please think twice about all the harassment you keep talking about doing to him.</b> He does have a wife and small children. I only got back from long term therapy a couple months ago and between sedatives and focusing on my children I cant deal with it anymore. Its all a reminder of my stupidity and his long-standing hatred of me.<br />
<br />
Barbara<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ----- Original Message ----- <br />
<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<b>From:</b> <a href="http://us.f540.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=batyah_9@yahoo.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="mailto:batyah_9@yahoo.com">Barbara CXXX</a></div>
<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<b>To:</b> <a href="http://us.f540.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=elizabeth_greene_633@msn.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="mailto:elizabeth_greene_633@msn.com">elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com</a></div>
<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<b>Sent:</b> Friday, October 15, 2004 6:50 PM</div>
<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<b>Subject:</b></div>
<br />
Dear: <a href="http://us.f540.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=elizabeth_greene_633@msn.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="mailto:elizabeth_greene_633@msn.com">elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com</a><br />
<br />
if you feel the need to taunt him that's up to you, just please take my addresses off your address list He will never contact me again, since I seemed to sicken & disgust him so thoroughly. He hates me and blames me for figuring out his sick game. I just don't want to get attacked by his other friends anymore. So <b>please keep me out of whatever you are doing</b>.<br />
<br />
And remember, the man has children. I am the one their detective friend got after I am the one he tried to tell everyone "planted" all the escort stuff, etc. I am the one he has painted as a stalker I have children within striking distance! you don't.<br />
<br />
PLEASE I am NO WAY minimizing you. This is proved by his immediate attack on myself and his unbridled hated towards me. He was done with me in 1976. I was nothing to him. Not real. I am not even supposed to have hurt feelings. He didn't even care about the abortion. And he doesn't even care.... <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>He'll just keep smearing me and my name.</b> I don't want to go back to the hospital again because of this.<br />
<br />
Shalom - Barbara<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />
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<tr> <td>From :</td> <td>Elizabeth GrXXX <elizabeth_grXXX_633@msn.com></td> </tr>
<tr> <td>Sent :</td> <td>Thursday, August 19, 2004 12:01 AM</td> </tr>
<tr> <td>To :</td> <td><schmooze@jewishworldreview.com></td> </tr>
<tr> <td>Subject :</td> <td>Making better prisoners</td> </tr>
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<tr> <td><a href="https://www.blogger.com/S(%27getmsg%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27%27,%275664CAF7-857B-4E66-93CD-EB95412A04A5%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27prev%27,%27%27)"><img alt="Go to previous message" border="0" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.previous.gif" /></a></td> <td>|</td> <td><a href="https://www.blogger.com/S(%27getmsg%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27%27,%275664CAF7-857B-4E66-93CD-EB95412A04A5%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27next%27,%27%27)"><img alt="Go to next message" border="0" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.next.gif" /></a></td> <td>|</td> <td><a href="http://by130fd.bay130.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/getmsg?msg=5664CAF7-857B-4E66-93CD-EB95412A04A5&start=0&len=4426&msgread=1&imgsafe=n&curmbox=745FCDE9%2dECEB%2d4B92%2dAC06%2d41242AE0CED4&a=d41f5787b22776aec207d94d527d8484339dbae3b6962a651e26cd4a9d7a57ae#"><img alt="Delete" class="MM" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.delete.gif" /></a></td> <td>|</td> <td><a href="https://www.blogger.com/HM(%27%27)"><img align="left" alt="" border="0" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.folder.gif" />etc etc</a></td> <td>|</td> <td><a href="https://www.blogger.com/HM(%27curmbox=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000001%27)"><img align="left" alt="" border="0" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.folder.inbox.gif" />Inbox</a></td> </tr>
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<tr> <td style="padding-bottom: 5px;" width="100%">MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Originating-IP: [65.54.98.163] X-Originating-Email: [elizabeth_greene_633@XXX.com] X-Sender: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com Received: from hotmail.com ([65.54.172.117]) by mc12-f16.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Wed, 18 Aug 2004 21:01:28 -0700 Received: from mail pickup service by hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Wed, 18 Aug 2004 21:01:13 -0700 Received: from 65.54.98.163 by bay5-dav13.bay5.hotmail.com with DAV;Thu, 19 Aug 2004 04:01:13 +0000 X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jHMEid9KtoHxg+OnQkpmMv7 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: MSN 9 X-MIMEOLE: Produced By MSN MimeOLE V9.10.0006.2205 Seal-Send-Time: Wed, 18 Aug 2004 21:01:11 -0700 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 19 Aug 2004 04:01:13.0785 (UTC) FILETIME=[2B6A9290:01C485A1] Return-Path: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com</td> </tr>
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<tr><td>Why do you continue publishing this writer?<br />
He does the same thing over and over; it could be a template.<br />
I haven't seen one original idea from DXXX and, yet, you continue to put him in your publication. What is this? The Jewish version of 'Skull & Bones?' Seriously, when you have so very many good writers who have a style, yes, but not the exact same tone every single article as does DXXX, what else is going on here?<br />
When I receive articles from JWR, they are invariably excellent. Oh, wait, I understand: DXXX is that little exception to prove the rule that you use writers based on ability only, right?You don't think this has merit? Read each of DXXX' pieces: absolutely interchangeable wording/tone/sarcasm/style ... just change the subject ever so slightly.<br />
Do you pay your writers? If so, even a penny would be a bit much whereas with your other writers: priceless!</td> </tr>
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ><br />
<br />
From: "Elizabeth GrXXX" <elizabeth_greene_633@XXX.com><br />
To: "Barbara" <xxxxx@hotmail.com> ><br />
Subject: Re: A JewishWorldReview.com article from Barbara ><br />
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 08:22:35 -0700 >MIME-Version: 1.0 >X-Originating-IP: [65.54.98.100] >X-Originating-Email: [elizabeth_greene_633@msn.com] >X-Sender: elizabeth_grXXX_633@msn.com >Received: from hotmail.com ([65.54.172.119]) by mc1-f3.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Wed, 25 Aug 2004 08:22:39 -0700 >Received: from mail pickup service by hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Wed, 25 Aug 2004 08:22:37 -0700 >Received: from 65.54.98.100 by bay5-dav15.bay5.hotmail.com with DAV;Wed, 25 Aug 2004 15:22:37 +0000 >X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jHGLcd/2RveFoVZTEUVk1mC >References: <200408251400.i7PE0WuE015046@challah.teamgenesis.com> >X-MSMail-Priority: Normal >X-Mailer: MSN 9 >X-MimeOLE: Produced By MSN MimeOLE V9.10.0006.2205 >Seal-Send-Time: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 08:22:35 -0700 >Message-ID: <BAY5-DAV15wGmAf0Mjk0001d1f9@hotmail.com> >X-OriginalArrivalTime: 25 Aug 2004 15:22:37.0533 (UTC) FILETIME=[5A81F0D0:01C48AB7] >Return-Path: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com > ><br />
<br />
I simply cannot fucking believe [YWL]! Maybe you can live with it but I won't be treated like what he did to me never happened. All the porn he sent to me! Or the <b>monstrous </b>way he talked about you.<br />
<br />
>He minimized me, he minimized what he did to me. .He talked about you like you are a lovesick schoolgirl. Remember "don't tell Barbara, she'll ruin our happiness?" He made some very nasty comments about you.<br />
<br />
So, no. Im not letting it go.<br />
<br />
> http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0804/dXXXz_arafat_prophet.php3<http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0804/dunetz_arafat_prophet.php3> ><br />
<br />
> um... this isn't news is it?<br />
<br />
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<tr> <td>From :</td> <td>XXXX Green <XXXX633@msn.com></td> </tr>
<tr> <td>Sent :</td> <td>Wednesday, August 25, 2004 12:57 PM</td> </tr>
<tr> <td>To :</td> <td>"Barbara C" <XXXX></td> </tr>
<tr> <td>Subject :</td> <td>Re: A JewishWorldReview.com article from Barbara</td> </tr>
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<tr> <td>Barbara, part of what you wrote, "There is no observation and not a tremendous amount of facts (like yours) but a mountain of ANGER. And that makes me very very sick to my stomach." intrigues me. Why do you get sick to your stomach? His anger?<br />
<br />
I was pissed off because he seems to be living his life as if he hurt nobody; like an OJ Simpson. He wants it gone, he says it never happened - no real remorse or even attempt to talk to you ...<br />
<br />
please explain to me so I can understand what you are feeling. thx</td> </tr>
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xxxxxx@hotmail.com<br />
<br />
Free Newsletters Reply Reply | Reply All Reply All | Forward Forward | Delete Delete | Junk Mail Junk | Put In Folder Put in Folder | Print Print View | Contact Save Address Inbox Sent Messages Drafts Trash Can etc etc Report Junk E-Mail Report and Block Sender<br />
From : Elizabeth GrXXX<br />
Sent : Sunday, August 22, 2004 12:21 PM<br />
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<br />
Barbara I got your call. I know you think [YWL] is just going to pretend it was all just a misunderstanding, he did nothing wrong, its all your fault, or as he said to me "it never happened."<br />
<br />
<b>But he isn't going to forget because I won't let him, m'kay? He gave me all his personal information and phone numbers so I guess its okay for me to use them wisely now!</b><br />
<br />
Elizabeth<br />
<br />
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<tr> <td>From :</td> <td>EXX Green <XXX633@msn.com></td> </tr>
<tr> <td>Sent :</td> <td>Thursday, August 19, 2004 12:01 AM</td> </tr>
<tr> <td>To :</td> <td><schmooze@jewishworldreview.com></td> </tr>
<tr> <td>Subject :</td> <td>Making better prisoners</td> </tr>
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<tr> <td>Why do you continue publishing this writer?He does the same thing over and over; it could be a template.I haven't seen one original idea from DXXXX and, yet, you continue to put him in your publication. What is this? The Jewish version of 'Skull & Bones?' Seriously, when you have so very many good writers who have a style, yes, but not the exact same tone every single article as does DXXXX, what else is going on here?When I receive articles from JWR, they are invariably excellent. Oh, wait, I understand: DXXXX is that little exception to prove the rule that you use writers based on ability only, right?You don't think this has merit? Read each of DXXXX' pieces: absolutely interchangeable wording/tone/sarcasm/style ... just change the subject ever so slightly. Do you pay your writers? If so, even a penny would be a bit much whereas with your other writers: priceless!</td> </tr>
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ xxxx@hotmail.com<br />
Free Newsletters Reply Reply | Reply All Reply All | Forward Forward | Delete Delete | Junk Mail Junk | Put In Folder Put in Folder | Print Print View | Contact Save Address Inbox Sent Messages Drafts Trash Can etc etc Report Junk E-Mail Report and Block Sender From :<br />
Elizabeth GrXXX<br />
Sent : Sunday, August 22, 2004 12:21 PM<br />
Go to previous message | Go to next message | Delete | etc etc | Inbox MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Originating-IP: [65.54.98.171] X-Originating-Email: [elizabeth_XXX_633@XXX.com] X-Sender: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com Received: from hotmail.com ([65.54.173.53]) by mc3-f20.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Sun, 22 Aug 2004 09:21:02 -0700 Received: from mail pickup service by hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Sun, 22 Aug 2004 09:21:02 -0700 Received: from 65.54.98.171 by bay5-dav23.bay5.hotmail.com with DAV;Sun, 22 Aug 2004 16:21:02 +0000 X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jGQSmhMn+qu0vCs8S19sock X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: MSN 9 X-MimeOLE: Produced By MSN MimeOLE V9.10.0006.2205 Seal-Send-Time: Sun, 22 Aug 2004 09:21:00 -0700 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 22 Aug 2004 16:21:02.0477 (UTC) FILETIME=[0460B3D0:01C48864] Return-Path: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com View E-mail Message Source Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0018_01C48829.56EBFF00" Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable<br />
<br />
FYI I gave my friend in L.A. who was in the Mossad [YWL's] information. He's on it.<br />
<br />
I wrote the Editor of Israel Insider about him too. <br />
<br />
Remember, you did the right thing telling [YWL's wife]. I have her email now:<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/apjmanagement@att.net">apjmanagement@XXX.net</a><br />
<br />
[YWL's] going down no matter how long this takes.<br />
<br />
Elizabeth<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
From : Elizabeth Guess <xxxxxx@XXX.com><br />
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<tr> <td>Sent :</td> <td>Thursday, June 24, 2004 8:47 AM</td> </tr>
<tr> <td>To :</td> <td><schmooze@jewishworldreview.com></td> </tr>
<tr> <td>Subject :</td> <td>Blame it on Madonna/Esther</td> </tr>
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<tr> <td><a href="https://www.blogger.com/S(%27getmsg%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27267B4927-2E4E-4B58-878F-3C318291F083%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27prev%27,%27%27)"><img alt="Go to previous message" border="0" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.previous.gif" /></a></td> <td>|</td> <td><a href="https://www.blogger.com/S(%27getmsg%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27267B4927-2E4E-4B58-878F-3C318291F083%27,%27%27,%27%27,%27next%27,%27%27)"><img alt="Go to next message" border="0" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.next.gif" /></a></td> <td>|</td> <td><a href="http://by130fd.bay130.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/getmsg?msg=267B4927-2E4E-4B58-878F-3C318291F083&start=0&len=6266&msgread=1&imgsafe=n&curmbox=745FCDE9%2dECEB%2d4B92%2dAC06%2d41242AE0CED4&a=d41f5787b22776aec207d94d527d8484196122e719a1fa72977c579c56c294f7#"><img alt="Delete" class="MM" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.delete.gif" /></a></td> <td>|</td> <td><a href="https://www.blogger.com/HM(%27%27)"><img align="left" alt="" border="0" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.folder.gif" />etc etc</a></td> <td>|</td> <td><a href="https://www.blogger.com/HM(%27curmbox=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000001%27)"><img align="left" alt="" border="0" src="http://gfx2.hotmail.com/i.p.folder.inbox.gif" />Inbox</a></td> </tr>
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<tr> <td style="padding-bottom: 5px;" width="100%">MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Originating-IP: [65.54.97.151] X-Originating-Email: [no1compares2u@XXX.com] X-Sender: no1compares2u@XXX.com Received: from hotmail.com ([65.54.168.125]) by mc3-f11.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Thu, 24 Jun 2004 06:00:25 -0700 Received: from mail pickup service by hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Thu, 24 Jun 2004 05:47:48 -0700 Received: from 65.54.97.151 by bay3-dav21.bay3.hotmail.com with DAV;Thu, 24 Jun 2004 12:47:48 +0000 X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jHdXlIpRdvS9uwALEhbuAqC X-MSMail-Priority: High X-Mailer: MSN 9 X-MimeOLE: Produced By MSN MimeOLE V9.00.0013.2101 Seal-Send-Time: Thu, 24 Jun 2004 05:47:45 -0700 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 24 Jun 2004 12:47:48.0385 (UTC) FILETIME=[7421F110:01C459E9] Return-Path: </td> </tr>
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<tr><td><span style="font-size: large;">Dear Sir, More tripe from DXX? Good grief!</span><span style="font-size: large;">In the first place, I received my memo (was his lost in the mail?) that it is now permissible to use God rather than G-d because neither one is the actual name; no one can truly '<i>say</i>' the name.</span><span style="font-size: large;">Secondly, this whole article is a big tsuris over nothing. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Fads come and they go: right now, many celebrities are taking a good look at Judaism. There is <b>NOTHING</b> wrong with that, mainly because they come away loving those of us who are indeed Jews: <i>what's not to love</i>? To blow all of this out of any normal sense of proportionality, as author DXX has done, by bitterly telling them to go get some anti-Semitism with their Kabbalah is just plain mean and, therefore, by definition, <b>NOT</b> a Jewish way of being.</span><span style="font-size: large;">Many articles from JWR are informative and well-written; this is 'same-old, same-old glibness- without-scholarship' from this same-old, same-old author. Do you continue to publish him to make your other contributors look good by comparison? If so, you are doing a <b>great</b> job!</span> <br />
<div align="right">
<br /></div>
<div align="right">
<span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>"For the sake of Zion I will not be silent; For the sake of Jerusalem I will not be still." (Isaiah 62:1)</b></span></span></div>
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xxxx@hotmail.com<br />
Free Newsletters Reply Reply | Reply All Reply All | Forward Forward | Delete Delete | Junk Mail Junk | Put In Folder Put in Folder | Print Print View | Contact Save Address Inbox Sent Messages Drafts Trash Can etc etc Report Junk E-Mail Report and Block Sender<br />
From : Elizabeth GrXXX<br />
Sent : Thursday, June 10, 2004 2:47 PM<br />
To : "Barbara"<br />
Subject : emails<br />
Go to previous message | Go to next message | Delete | etc etc | Inbox MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Originating-IP: [65.54.98.166] X-Originating-Email: [elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com] X-Sender: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com Received: from hotmail.com ([65.54.173.111]) by mc8-f12.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Thu, 10 Jun 2004 11:48:43 -0700 Received: from mail pickup service by hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Thu, 10 Jun 2004 11:48:30 -0700 Received: from 65.54.98.166 by bay5-dav81.bay5.hotmail.com with DAV;Thu, 10 Jun 2004 18:48:30 +0000 X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jEc6Ai0RXINbkWe6W/FOTeE X-MSMail-Priority: High X-Mailer: MSN 9 Seal-Send-Time: Thu, 10 Jun 2004 11:47:21 -0700 X-MimeOLE: Produced By MSN MimeOLE V9.00.0013.2101 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 10 Jun 2004 18:48:30.0521 (UTC) FILETIME=[86115290:01C44F1B] Return-Path: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com View E-mail Message Source Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0049_01C44EE0.B05B49B0" Content-Type: text/html; charset=windows-1256 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable<br />
<br />
I am going to be getting anonymous web based emails. If you don't want to know then I won't tell you.<br />
<br />
I am not giving up as easily on this jerk.<br />
<br />
His website, his good name - it all needs to go!<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
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xxxxx@hotmail.com<br />
Free Newsletters Reply Reply | Reply All Reply All | Forward Forward | Delete Delete | Junk Mail Junk | Put In Folder Put in Folder | Print Print View | Contact Save Address Inbox Sent Messages Drafts Trash Can etc etc Report Junk E-Mail Report and Block Sender From : Elizabeth GrXXX Sent : Tuesday, August 10, 2004 10:15 AM To : Subject : "Here's the Kosher Beef" Go to previous message | Go to next message | Delete | etc etc | Inbox MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Originating-IP: [65.54.98.146] X-Originating-Email: [elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com] X-Sender: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com Received: from hotmail.com ([65.54.172.118]) by mc12-f18.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Tue, 10 Aug 2004 07:15:11 -0700 Received: from mail pickup service by hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Tue, 10 Aug 2004 07:15:11 -0700 Received: from 65.54.98.146 by bay5-dav14.bay5.hotmail.com with DAV;Tue, 10 Aug 2004 14:15:10 +0000 X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jGjXfkFhEO/dwahzcdrnAmR X-MSMail-Priority: High X-Mailer: MSN 9 X-MIMEOLE: Produced By MSN MimeOLE V9.10.0006.2205 Seal-Send-Time: Tue, 10 Aug 2004 07:15:09 -0700 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 10 Aug 2004 14:15:11.0202 (UTC) FILETIME=[72829420:01C47EE4] Return-Path: elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com View E-mail Message Source Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_00C0_01C47EA9.C5035800" Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable<br />
<br />
http://www.thejewishweek.com/news/newscontent.php3?artid=4314<br />
<br />
Dear Sir: With regard to the above article, please be advised that you have quoted a man who is currently under investigation by the Computer Crimes Unit of the NYPD for procuring prostitutes online and subsequently engaging their services. Please feel free to contact any or all law enforcement authorities to verify my statement.<br />
<br />
Or contact Julie's NYC brothel about him.<br />
<br />
I have copies of the police information, with their written verifications in my possession, should you need it. This email is sent in hope of complete confidence for me. I write that because Mr. XXXX DXX is very dangerous to women.<br />
<br />
That is not hysteria: he poses no threat to you or any other man. However, his current legal situation causes me great concern for the reputation of The Jewish Week should Mr. XXX DXXX be charged and convicted for soliciting prostitutes, as I requested NYPD to do, although not in the very near future.<br />
<br />
In other words, the prudent thing is to not use his name in your publication until you find he has been cleared, which is highly unlikely.<br />
<br />
Thank you for taking the time to read my email.<br />
<br />
Shalom, Elizabeth<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
xxxx@hotmail.com<br />
<br />
Free Newsletters Reply Reply | Reply All Reply All | Forward Forward | Delete Delete | Junk Mail Junk | Put In Folder Put in Folder | Print Print View | Contact Save Address Inbox Sent Messages Drafts Trash Can etc etc Report Junk E-Mail Report and Block Sender<br />
From : Elizabeth GrXX<br />
Sent : Friday, May 20, 2005 3:19 PM<br />
To: citu@nypd.org<br />
BCC : "Barbara C"<br />
Subject : JXX DXXXz aka Gridney/ Sexual Solicitation<br />
Go to previous message | Go to next message | Delete | etc etc | Inbox MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Originating-IP: [64.136.28.164] X-Originating-Email: [bashert@hushmail.com] X-Sender: bashert@hushmail.com Received: from netzero.com ([64.136.28.164]) by mc10-f24.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(5.0.2195.6824); Fri, 15 Oct 2004 12:21:39 -0700 Received: from mail pickup service by hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Fri, 20 May 2005 12:20:01 -0700 Received: from 64.136.28.164 by BAY5-DAV25.phx.gbl with DAV;Fri, 20 May 2005 19:19:47 +0000 X-Message-Info: JGTYoYF78jHf3EGn+RrISpoogOtLfOnE References: X-MSMail-Priority: High X-Mailer: MSN 9 X-MimeOLE: Produced By MSN MimeOLE V9.10.0006.2205 Seal-Send-Time: Fri, 20 May 2005 12:19:47 -0700 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 2o May 2005 19:20:01.0945 (UTC) FILETIME=[F7E7F890:01C4B2EB] Return-Path: bashert@hushmail.com View E-mail Message Source Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0055_01C4B2B1.42A0B380" Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable<br />
<br />
New York City Police Department<br />
Computer Crimes Division<br />
1 Police Plaza,<br />
Room 1110D<br />
New York, NY 10038<br />
<br />
Dear Sirs: In March and April of 2004 I had many conversations with Detectives from your office. One named Det. XXXXX , in connection with the visit you recieved from Ms. Barbara XXX on March 25, 2004.<br />
<br />
Your office did an investigation into the online activities of one JXX DXXX and found he was seeing prostitutes, at <u>least </u>12 of them over a 2-3 year period, and posting the disgusting details on message boards. You asked me to verify these postings were him and sent me copies.<br />
<br />
I sent your department at NYPD a homemade pornographic video Mr. DXX had sent to me in which he exposed his genitals to me performing a lewd act in his home bathroom. I sent it to the FBI office in San Francisco as well.<br />
<br />
I haven't heard from your office in a while and would like to know what you are doing about this man? I had told the detectives I wanted Mr. DXX prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law in New York for this solicitation of women in sex for money exchanges.<br />
<br />
I recently got a letter from my Internet Provider telling me that Mr. DXX had told them I was harassing him and my service would be cancelled.<br />
<br />
Why am I being punished and this man is walking around free? Your office told me they would look into this man 's criminal conduct.<br />
<br />
He needs to be off the streets as soon as possible. I await your speedy response.<br />
<br />
Elizabeth GrXXX <br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<b>From:</b> <a href="http://us.f540.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=batyah_9@yahoo.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="mailto:batyah_9@yahoo.com">elizabeth_grXXX_633@XXX.com</a></div>
<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<b>To:</b> <a href="http://us.f540.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=elizabeth_greene_633@msn.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="mailto:elizabeth_greene_633@msn.com">XXX@aish.com</a></div>
<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<b>Sent:</b> Sunday, April 18, 2004 6:50 AM</div>
<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<b>Subject:</b></div>
<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<b> Elizabeth Guess wrote:</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>Shalom, Rabbi, I wrote you earlier. I am one of the women with whom [YWL] 'recruited' into a relationship from my comment to an article in the Jewish World Review, where he also has published. </b><br />
<br />
<b>He romanced me, told me how he was married but was miserable in it; that his wife didn't perform her 'duties'; eventually told me he loved me and so on. </b><br />
<br />
<b>I was initially introduced to him by a new friend who had known [YWL] for many years. That woman had known him in college, he looked her up again just two years ago and he recruited her as one of his intimates during that entire two years as well. Eventually, everything came out about him, but we were unaware of the extent of it. </b><br />
<br />
<b>This is as big a shock to us and a soul-wrenching experience to both of us and others, first and foremost his wife and children.</b><br />
<br />
<b> Be'ahavat Yisrael,</b> <b> Elizabeth **************************************************************</b><br />
<b> </b> <b> </b><br />
<b>----- Original Message ----- </b><br />
<b>From: XXX To: Elizabeth Guess </b><br />
<b>Sent: Monday, April 19, 2004 1:14 AM </b><br />
<b>Subject: Re: </b><br />
<b>CONFIDENTIAL: for Rabbi XX's eyes only: </b><br />
<b>PRIVATE</b><br />
<br />
<b>I think we must take down all of his articles, that's for sure, and of course stop featuring him, but i need to think about how to approach him.</b> <b>If you have it the material that is most damaging with his nickname and IP verified from the police, you can email it to me.</b> <b> thanks for taking the time to write to me, and helping us protect our name and work. </b><br />
<br />
<b>i am still stunned about all this. and feel sick about what he's doing to his family and you women.</b> <b> i do have a good email relationship with him, and could possibly help to encourage him to get help. it seems he is an addict of sorts. i will try to write to the Barbara you mentioned myself. </b> <b> looking forward to hearing from you</b> <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>Rabbi XXX </b><br />
<b> </b> <b>Editor, aish.com</b> <b>XXX@aish.com </b><br />
<b>Old City, Jerusalem Israel </b><br />
<b>POB 14149</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>Direct Line: [972-2] XXXX</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>Fax: [972-2] XXX www.aish.com</b> <b> ----- </b><br />
<br />
<b>Original Message ----- </b><br />
<b>From: Elizabeth Guess </b><br />
<b>To: XXX@aish.com </b><br />
<b>Sent: Sunday, April 18, 2004 8:48 PM </b><br />
<b>Subject: [] CONFIDENTIAL: for Rabbi xxxxx eyes only: </b><br />
<b>PRIVATE</b> <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>Dear Rabbi XXX:</b><br />
<br />
<b> This email is sent in order to keep you up-to-date on the XXX DXXX matter. Law enforcement is involved; therefore I feel I have an obligation to keep in mind your publication might not want to be exposed to this sort of liability.</b><br />
<br />
<b> The following law enforcement is involved: </b><br />
<b>NYPD Computer Crimes (646) 610-5397 </b><br />
<b>NYPD Dept of Investigation (212) 825-5900 </b><br />
<b>NYS Attorney General's Office (212) 416-8060 or (800) 771-7755</b><br />
<br />
<b> Mr. DXXX has been found posting lurid details of his liaisons with prostitutes on such sites as <a href="http://www.theeroticreview.com/">www.theeroticreview.com</a> - under his old nickname: gridney. (he's since cancelled his account but archival copies & records of his credit card remain) </b><br />
<br />
<b>These posts were traced back to both his home & work ISPs by law enforcement. Because these sites include prices and the names of prostitutes, contact information and brothels, I have asked law enforcement to charge him with solicitation and promotion of prostitution.</b><br />
<br />
<b> Mr. DXXX has also been found advertising since 2001 for sex on a number of the online personal sites. He openly admits he is married with children, <b>where</b> he lives and what he wants. He also declines to state his religious affiliation, which in my humble opinion speaks volumes. </b><br />
<br />
<b>Please find him at these sites (there are more) and please find another page from a <a href="http://www.redpersonals.com/">personal ad site</a> attached herein.</b><br />
<b><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/MySexetera/Profile/ViewProfile.asp?ID=282692"> Eroticy.com/MySexetera/Profile/ViewProfile.asp?ID=282692</a> </b><br />
<b><a href="http://www,eroticy.com/MySexetera/Profile/ViewProfile.asp?ID=221863"> Eroticy.com/MySexetera/Profile/ViewProfile.asp?ID=221863</a></b> <br />
<a href="http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=982634">http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=982634 </a> <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>Also, please note <u>he gives his address thereby putting his family in danger as well.</u> All of the online personal sites have also been linked back to his home or work ISPs, dating back for at least the past 3-4 years (law enforcement may find older links still).</b> <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>XXX, the authorities also suspect he is using the Guestbook from his own website and all comments received from his articles to get new partners. He belongs to a number of Jewish newsgroups and has been chatting up women there and "love bombing" (method used by predators & cult leaders to win women over quickly), according to the police. His wife has been informed. </b><br />
<br />
<b>As of this date, it is out of our hands and completely in the hands of the authorities. </b><br />
<br />
<b>Clearly, this is not a personal issue, but rather a serious public safety issue.</b><br />
<br />
<b> Thank you for taking the time to read this. </b><br />
<br />
<b>Please understand I felt I must follow up to help you try to protect your good work. </b><br />
<br />
<b>Please allow me to offer the following as well, for your consideration:</b> <br />
<blockquote>
<i><b> Question: I try my best to observe the laws of lashon hara by not only guarding my tongue against gossip and slander but also guarding my ears against accepting what people tell me about other people. How am I to react to a report that someone gives me about a fellow who intends to do me or others harm?</b></i> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<b>Answer: There is a fast day in the Jewish calendar related to your question called "Fast of Gedalia". On the third day of the Month of Tishrei Jews fast because on that day about two and a half millennia ago Gedalia ben Achikam, the leader of the Jewish community in Eretz Israel following the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash, and the exile of most of Jewry to Babylon, was assassinated, a tragedy which sealed the doom of hopes for reviving the Jewish presence in their Land.</b> <b> Gedalia was warned by one of his officers that another officer named Yishmael had been hired by a foreign power to assassinate him, but refused to believe him. This naiveti led not only to his death but also to that of a large group of Jewish pilgrims who Yishmael murdered after carrying out the assassination for which he gained infamy. The Talmud (Mesechta Nidda 61a) quotes a passage referring to Gedalia as the murderer of these pilgrims, placing blame on him for ignoring the warning given to him regarding Yishmael's intentions.</b> <b> The lesson to be learned from this, says the Sage Rava, is that even though it is improper to give total credence to the bad report we hear about someone else, we have a responsibility to treat it seriously and take the necessary precautions. </b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>http://ohr.edu/yhiy/articlephp/1634</b></blockquote>
<b> If you need to contact me, please do so at your convenience.</b> ---------------------------------------------------------- <b> </b><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hodLoPUoOPY" width="420"></iframe>
<br />
<b>GRIDNEY is a Member </b> <b> [ Write This Member ] [ Add To My Red Book ] [ Report This User ] [ Ignore This Member ] </b><br />
<b> </b> <b> From: Dix Hills, New York Aprox. Distance: </b><br />
<b>Age: 43 Sex: Male </b><br />
<b>Preference: Straight </b><br />
<b>Height: 6' 0" </b><br />
<b>Weight: 200 lbs. </b><br />
<b>Purity Score: 0 of 100 User Has Not Taken Test </b><br />
<b>Hair Color: Bald </b><br />
<b>Eye Color: Blue </b><br />
<b>Zodiac: Cancer Marital Status: Married </b><br />
<b>Race: Caucasian </b><br />
<b>Religion: Prefer Not To Say </b><br />
<b>Smokes: No </b><br />
<b>Drinks: Rarely </b><br />
<b>Children: Have Now (Live with me) </b><br />
<b>Looking For: Casual Sex, Discreet Relationship </b><br />
<b>Education: College Degree <span style="color: red;"> Date Posted:<b> 3/18/00</b></span> </b><br />
<b>http://www.redpersonals.com</b><br />
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<br />
<span class="style7"> </span> <br />
<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td align="center" class="NavItemTitle" colspan="2">MWM WANTS TO EXPLORE</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center" width="50%"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img align="middle" alt="" border="0" src="http://216.54.221.232/Scripts/UserPhotos/GetThumb.asp?Refresh=&user=gridney&num=1" /></a></td> <td rowspan="2" valign="top" width="50%"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead" colspan="2" width="100%"><span class="SectionHead">Location</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">City:</td> <td width="50%"><b>Dix Hills</b></td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">State:</td> <td width="50%">New York</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">Country:</td> <td width="50%">United States</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td valign="top" width="50%"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead" colspan="2" width="100%"><span class="SectionHead"> Detailed Information</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Age:</td> <td width="50%">44</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Orientation:</td> <td width="50%">Heterosexual</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Ethnicity:</td> <td width="50%">Caucasian</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Height:</td> <td width="50%">6' 0"</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Weight:</td> <td width="50%">201 to 210 lbs</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Hair Color:</td> <td width="50%">Brown</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Eye Color:</td> <td width="50%">Blue</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td valign="top" width="50%"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">User Rank:</td> <td width="50%">Not Yet Rated</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">SExpert Score:</td> <td width="50%"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">Validated/Pref Status:</td> <td width="50%"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/HelpWindow(%27/MemberServices/Help/Validated.asp%27)"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/ny_val.gif" /></a></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td class="NavItemTitle" colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td align="center"><!--a style="CURSOR: hand" href="/sign-in/"> <img alt="" border="0" src="/Images/sendtease.gif" />--></td> <td align="center"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/sign-in/"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/Mail.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/MailWindow(%27/MySexetera/EmailFriends/default.asp%27)"> <img alt="" border="0" src="/Images/mailFriends.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/AddAsFavorite.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/SendToFriend.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"><span class="HorzNavLink"> <a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/friend.gif" /></a></span></td> <td align="center"><span class="HorzNavLink"> <a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/vote.gif" /></a></span></td> <td align="center"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/OtherWindow(%27/MemberServices/Complaint/Complaint.asp?UserName=gridney&Type=Male%27)"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/file_compl.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"></td> <td align="center"></td> <td align="center"></td> <td align="center"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/MySexetera/SexDiary/default.asp?diary=221863&user=gridney"><img alt="View Users Blogs" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/images/blogs.gif" height="16" width="16" /></a></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">Description</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%">Looking to explore</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">Looking For</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%"><b><span style="color: red;">Anyone for Anything</span></b></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">Wildest Sexual Fantasy</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%">tree women at one time</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">Wildest Sexual Experience</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%"><b><span style="color: red;">boring ...noting but boring</span></b></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">What You Need To Know About Me</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%">I like to make people laugh</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><b><span class="SectionHead">Activities and Practices that I Have Some Interest In</span></b></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%"><b>Cyber Sex, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Sensual Massage, Voyeurism </b><br />
<b>posted 2001</b></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="TitleBar" colspan="2"><h1 class="TitleBar">
<img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/arrows1.gif" />Gridney1's Eroticy Profile</h1>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center" class="NavItemTitle" colspan="2">MWM LOOKING FOR ACTION</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="center" width="50%"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img align="middle" alt="" border="0" src="http://216.54.221.232/Scripts/UserPhotos/GetThumb.asp?Refresh=&user=Gridney1&num=1" /></a></td> <td rowspan="2" valign="top" width="50%"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead" colspan="2" width="100%"><span class="SectionHead">Location</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">City:</td> <td width="50%"><b>dIX HILLS</b></td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">State:</td> <td width="50%">New York</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">Country:</td> <td width="50%">United States</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td valign="top" width="50%"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead" colspan="2" width="100%"><span class="SectionHead"> Detailed Information</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Age:</td> <td width="50%">44</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Orientation:</td> <td width="50%">Heterosexual</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Ethnicity:</td> <td width="50%">Caucasian</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Height:</td> <td width="50%">6' 0"</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Weight:</td> <td width="50%">201 to 210 lbs</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Hair Color:</td> <td width="50%">Brown</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">His Eye Color:</td> <td width="50%">Blue</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td valign="top" width="50%"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">User Rank:</td> <td width="50%">Not Yet Rated</td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">SExpert Score:</td> <td width="50%"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td align="right" class="ItemText" width="50%">Validated/Pref Status:</td> <td width="50%"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/HelpWindow(%27/MemberServices/Help/Validated.asp%27)"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/ny_val.gif" /></a></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td class="NavItemTitle" colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td align="center"><!--a style="CURSOR: hand" href="/sign-in/"> <img alt="" border="0" src="/Images/sendtease.gif" />--></td> <td align="center"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/sign-in/"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/Mail.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/MailWindow(%27/MySexetera/EmailFriends/default.asp%27)"> <img alt="" border="0" src="/Images/mailFriends.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/AddAsFavorite.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/SendToFriend.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"><span class="HorzNavLink"> <a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/friend.gif" /></a></span></td> <td align="center"><span class="HorzNavLink"> <a href="http://www.eroticy.com/memberservices/registration/register.asp"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/vote.gif" /></a></span></td> <td align="center"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/OtherWindow(%27/MemberServices/Complaint/Complaint.asp?UserName=Gridney1&Type=Male%27)"> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/Images/file_compl.gif" /></a></td> <td align="center"></td> <td align="center"></td> <td align="center"></td> <td align="center"><a href="http://www.eroticy.com/MySexetera/SexDiary/default.asp?diary=282692&user=Gridney1"><img alt="View Users Blogs" border="0" src="http://www.eroticy.com/images/blogs.gif" height="16" width="16" /></a></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">Description</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%">Likes to cyber, trade pix or trade warm embraces</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">Looking For</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%">Anyone for Anything</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">Wildest Sexual Fantasy</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%">two redheaded girls large natrual tits, licking my balls</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">Wildest Sexual Experience</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%">see above</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><span class="SectionHead">What You Need To Know About Me</span></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%">I love to eat pussy juice</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="SectionHead"><b><span class="SectionHead">Activities and Practices that I Have Some Interest In</span></b></td> </tr>
<tr> <td width="100%"><b>Cyber Sex, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Sensual Massage, Swinging </b><br />
<br />
<b>posted 2001 </b></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
</td> </tr>
<tr> <td colspan="2"></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
-----------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: red;">PLEASE NOTE: the dates on these "sex ads" were <span style="text-decoration: underline;">WELL BEFORE</span> YWL got in touch with me <span style="text-decoration: underline;">(which was April 2002</span>)</span></b><br />
<br />
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<a href="http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=651837">http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=651837</a><br />
gridney<br />
Bronze<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Registered: Sep 2001</b></span><br />
Location:<br />
<br />
Posts: 4 julies advice Kitty BBBtc for me and she is pretty good...dont like the rock hard breasts...<br />
<br />
Domino is the best I had there just about everthing.... my toes were curled for a week<br />
<br />
Have never been with Sara...but have heard great things about her. <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>05-31-2002 </b>10:01 PM <br />
<a href="http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/showthread.php?p=31385">gridney </a><br />
Bronze<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>R</b></span><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>egistered: Sep 2001</b></span><br />
Location:<br />
<br />
Posts: 4 three most exciting things to do in NYC ... Destiny, Giovanna, Mets World Series Game ( but that doesn't come as often as the first 2) <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>11-29-2001 </b><br />
04:55 AM<br />
http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/showthread.php?p=31385<br />
gridney<br />
Bronze<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Registered: Sep 2001</b></span><br />
Location:<br />
Posts: 4 Monica/Marie Her response to me: Yes, outcall on Long Island at 300/hr.36C-25-36<br />
White, long,curly, light brown hair with blondhighlights and brown eyes.<br />
I am 5'6.I live 30 minutes East of Medford...<br />
Sorry, no website yet; I'm working on it.<br />
Pager#631 633-0140 <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>11-21-2001</b> 06:46 AM<br />
gridney Bronze<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Registered: Sep 2001</b></span><br />
<br />
Location:<br />
Posts: 4<br />
Dont forget Domino Domino at Julies is a MOT who dispels all those stereotypes about bbbj's<br />
<br />
<b>11-20-2001</b> 05:00 AM<br />
http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=982634<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://media.photobucket.com/image/myspace%20funny/enamy18/myspace.jpg?o=138" target="_blank"><img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii80/enamy18/myspace.jpg" /></a></div>
<b>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</b><br />
To: XXX@Aish.com <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear Rabbi CXXX:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Elizabeth Green forwarded her correspondence with you to me. I am the other woman she mentioned in her email. I will try to respond to you as best I can.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have known YWL since 19XX when we went to college together. We totally lost touch in 19XX and in 2002 I got an email “out of the blue” from him. He contacted me through Classmates.com. We corresponded and do not live too far from each other. Within 2 weeks YWL initiated an emotional relationship with me on line, told me he was very unhappily married and so on. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I am disabled now and estranged from my abusive husband. I am raising 2 small children basically on my own. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
YWL offered support and tried to talk me into having an affair with him. That never happened because I didn’t feel right about it. But we remained friends. In fact, I helped him edit a number of his articles (I write and have been published myself). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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We had lunch once and he acted very oddly but I disregarded it as “quirky.”</div>
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It is a traumatic shock to me to learn that YWL had not only done the same routine to another woman but that he had a pattern of sexually addictive behavior. He has sent me sexually explicit material over the internet, all of which I gave to the NYPD. When I confronted him he threatened my family and me. I went to Detective XXX at the XXX<sup>th</sup> Precinct since YWL knows where I live. YWL is now on file with them.</div>
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I also sent information to Computer Crimes and the NYPD Dept. of Investigation and all the information about the site where he “reviewed” the hookers he has seen and the numerous personal ads for sexual partners came up. ( <a href="http://www.theeroticreview.com/">www.theeroticreview.com</a>) They have everything on file <u><span style="color: red;">since he will probably race to erase everything as soon as possible</span>.</u></div>
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Rabbi, the awful realization hit me when Victim's Witness counseled me that I wasn’t an old friend he looked up – he had targeted me. The police are looking in to how many “friends” he contacted through sites like classmates.com and through his own website.</div>
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The detectives I spoke with also told me that he may be questioned about the soliciting. They could not, for my own safety, give me too much information but they told me a sweep of brothels is going on in New York State, particularly the ones in Manhattan that people like YWL frequent. <span style="color: red;">Detective XXX at Computer Crimes told me that YWL would probably try to tell people this is a campaign or vendetta against him - and his wife - in order to gain pity or smear me or both. I can solemnly assure you - it is neither.</span></div>
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Rabbi, <span style="text-decoration: underline;">I have absolutely nothing to gain</span> by coming forward with this information. I am probably losing someone I thought was a friend of 30 years and putting my children & myself in possible danger.<b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> I am under medical care now for the severe emotional trauma this has caused me.</span></b> <br />
<br />
YWL's wife has been informed (it seems he was using work resources for booking hookers online, a work cell phone for phone sex and possibly doing things during his out of town trips). <span style="color: red;">I pray every day for the safety of his wife and children </span>and that YWL somehow gets the psychiatric help he desperately needs.</div>
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<span style="color: red;">Rabbi,<span style="text-decoration: underline;"> if you could talk to him about getting ongoing help and repairing his marriage, it would mean a lot to me</span> as I will always pray for him.</span></div>
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If you need to contact me you can do so at this email address.</div>
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Shalom,</div>
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Barbara XXX</div>
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XXXXXX</div>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="messageheader" style="width: 100%px;"> <tbody>
<tr> <td class="label">From:</td> <td>"Computer Crimes Squad" <citu@nypd.org> <a href="https://www.blogger.com/document.frmAddAddrs.submit()"><img align="top" alt="Add to Address Book" border="0" src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/us/pim/el/abook_add_1.gif" height="16" hspace="2" vspace="0" width="16" />Add to Address Book</a> <a href="http://us.f540.mail.yahoo.com/ym/ShowLetter;_ylc=X3oDMTRpdGRvcmJqBEFjdGlvbgNWaWV3IG1lc3NhZ2UESW50bAN1cwRMbmtUeXADUmVndWxhcgRSZXNQb3NBAzMEUmVzUG9zUgMzBFNyY2hDdXJyA21lc3NhZ2UEU3JjaERlc3QDbWVzc2FnZXZpZXcEX1F1ZXJ5SWQDMTIwMTQ2ODA0OTQ1ZmQ3MGU3ZjA0NWEEX1MDMTUwNTAwNjEy?MsgId=7592_0_3168_1185_800_98136_2392_2191_539757256_oSObkYn4Ur5HQVnr2mDutHholdO3C62IqZlYM0lm1AogQsMlTYtwd_QvMpKQeX_LNHggZTT1KvjXeUQIHuMDuYHgUCYV5HEKlWilWtU0ehlzhUHZuS7l.aI1N1n7rXHaqRnIF2NlGhcAu7ZkOC8piHGpeHrN_Sk-&sbox=%40S%40Search&Idx=0&pos=0&Search=1&box=@S@Search&&#"><img align="top" alt="" border="0" src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/nt/ic/ut/bsc/txtmess12_1.gif" height="12" hspace="2" vspace="0" width="12" />Add Mobile Alert </a></td> </tr>
<tr> <td class="label">To:</td> <td>xxxx@XXX.com</td> </tr>
<tr> <td class="label">Subject:</td> <td>XXX</td> </tr>
<tr> <td class="label">Date:</td> <td>Mon, 3 May 2004 10:33:02 -0400</td> </tr>
</tbody> </table>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">Dear Ms. XX</span> <span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"> On behalf of The <span style="background: transparent none repeat scroll 0 50%; border-bottom: 1px dashed #0066cc;">New York City</span> Police Department, we thank you for bringing this matter to our attention and coming to our offices. We may need you to verify any other information we turn up on Mr. XXX and will contact you for verification. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">We have gotten a positive ID on Mr. XXX from 2 arrests made at XXXXXX. </span> <span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">Thank you again for also letting us track your email. If you need any further personal assistance, our Victim's Advocate Department is ready to help in any way.</span> <span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"> This is currently being investigated as part of a larger probe. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">We are requesting a commendation be made to you for your assistance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">Det. Carlos A. XXXXX.</span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"><span style="border-bottom: 1px dashed #0066cc;">New York City</span> Police Department </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">Computer Crimes Squad </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">One Police Plaza, Room 1112 <span style="border-bottom: 1px dashed #0066cc;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"><span style="border-bottom: 1px dashed #0066cc;">New York, New York 10038</span></span></div>
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<b>It's not me, it's all her. (blah blah lie lie blah)</b></div>
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<b> </b><img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="241" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-o0VIj3OX4KM/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAtE/5n34CNM0jZ4/photo.jpg" width="290" /></div>
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#ifmywoundswerevisibleUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-9436843847712644952019-01-11T02:55:00.001-05:002019-01-11T02:55:45.421-05:00HOW A MARRIED NARCISSIST (or SOCIOPATH) PLAYS HIS VICTIMS <a href="http://www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/married-narcissist/" target="_blank">A MUST Read!</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4781148853896549325.post-1897987752882150442018-09-01T19:18:00.000-04:002019-04-24T23:36:49.165-04:00WHAT I DID AND DID NOT DO<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QU0hyRjeV0U/VZJ_J8-zbaI/AAAAAAAABp4/Y0I2L2QPeNM/s1600/douchebag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QU0hyRjeV0U/VZJ_J8-zbaI/AAAAAAAABp4/Y0I2L2QPeNM/s320/douchebag.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a> has hated my guts for almost 30 years. He made it very clear in college I was just a warm hole. He was vocal about it and I had ears. Period. This blog will probably never be read by him or if it is, it will be bashed and defamed. </b> <b> Don't care.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>As far as <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s concerned he's closed all discussion. It's <u>his </u>"truth" or nothing.</b> <b>So let me say it and get out there:</b></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I NEVER contacted his parents or sent them anything (<a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/js-target-2-taking-stand-cautionary.html">who did this? read here</a>)</b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I NEVER contacted CPS (<a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/js-target-2-taking-stand-cautionary.html">who did this? read here</a>)</b></i> </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I NEVER contacted his boss (<a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/js-target-2-taking-stand-cautionary.html">who did this? read here</a>)</b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I NEVER contacted his publishers or anyone else connected to his writing before or since. (<a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/js-target-2-taking-stand-cautionary.html">who did this? read here</a>)</b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I DID NOT look up <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s address & find out "where he lives." My husband did that in September 2002. THINK ABOUT THIS: I had that information for 18 months and never did a thing with it. Ever. Elizabeth had all the other information and I felt funny using it. I was never given it and I only called his office one morning when I was very upset. I was traumatized. I did NOTHING else. </b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I DID NOT save all our conversations (<a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/j-sex-addictpredator-finally-revealed.html">if you look here you will see who did that. and how & why and who has them all now</a>)</b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I NEVER dogged him "all over the net." When just seeing his name or anything remotely connected to him triggered a panic attack - WHY WOULD I DO THAT? </b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I NEVER stalked him, went to his home, put things in his mailbox or that of his neighbors. </b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I NEVER asked either of the 2 friends I have in his area to do so either (one is confined to wheelchair most of the time and the other has 4 kids, 2 jobs and wouldn't do that for me even if I did ask.)</b></i> </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I DID NOT make up a porn site about him (I did get it taken down, thanks to NYPD though) nor did I give or authorize any of that information about him to be made public. I did not link porn to any of his friends.</b></i> </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I DID NOT post about him all over the web (see what <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/js-pack-of-lies-start-to-unravel.html">YWL (called "J") said HERE</a> in one of our last conversations - he said he'd "assume" anything on the web was from me!) In fact, when I found out about some things I did what I could to get them all removed (<a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/07/emails/">see here</a>)</b></i> </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I NEVER emailed him or IM'd him since March 2004. Even anonymously. </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I DID post to his new blog in March 2007 about an old article he reposted. AT THE TIME I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT HIS "<a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said/">STORY OF GRIDNEY</a>" post where he bold-face lied about me. If I had known he still thought I was stalking him? I would NEVER have posted that nice comment. </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I DID have an order of protection with his name on it for a short time after March 2004. I have let it expire and was forced to file and have a Cease and Desist letter served</b></i><i><b></b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I DID mail my friend's letter to his Rabbi, at HER REQUEST.</b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I DID take his threats to <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/j-sex-addictpredator-finally-revealed.html">NYPD Computer Crimes in March 2004</a> . They found the stuff about the hookers & sex ads. <a href="http://www.utopiaguide.com/forums/search.php?searchid=982634">JUST ONE OF MANY SITES HERE</a> </b></i> <i><b>I DID tell everything to one site - almost 2 years ago. Its all <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006_03_01_cyberpaths_archive.html">here... in this month, scroll through - YWL is called "J"</a></b></i> <i><b>The ONLY person I have EVER EVER had cybersex with was him. I would NEVER do that was someone anonymous. In fact, I have told my therapist in thinking about it, he was the ONLY person who probably could have gotten me to do that. (Additionally, <a href="http://www.slaafws.org/">I now know SEX ADDICTION is 'infectious'</a>)</b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>I have NEVER had ads for online dating, sex or anything else. Nor will I. EVER. </b></i></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #f1c232;"><i><b>If I had not known YWL and had a prior 'relationship' with him; which lead me to believe he was wholly trustworthy & truthful; I would never ever have even given him the time of day.</b></i> </span> </li>
</ul>
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***************** <br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><img src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y211/nyctwinmum/nodrama.gif" /></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Yes, <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s very good at charming and seducing people with words. VERY good. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He got me to forget or overlook the comments he made about me in college when I was just a couple feet away. He got me to repress or minimize them. And he's gotten much better over time. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He tried to do it in <a href="http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2007/03/15/he-said/">his post</a>, which is why I am providing as much documentation as I can. You don't have to believe what I say. Just look with your own two eyes. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>YWL makes a LIVING out of his charm now.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Yes, he probably did the same to his wife. He's right - she'd be devastated if she knew he really did see all those <a href="http://www.theeroticreview.com/">hookers</a>. Or what he was up to on his computer with his wife in the home somwhere. </b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>"The exposed abuser on the other hand, cannot rest until they have blotted out a vaguely experienced target who dared to oppose them, find out about them, to disagree with them or to outshine them. The exposed can never find rest because they can NEVER FULLY wipe out the evidence that has contradicted their conviction they are unique and perfect and handled things appropriately. This archaic rage goes on and on and on."</i> - Dr. Ernest Wolf</b></span></blockquote>
<b><span style="color: purple;"> <span style="color: #cccccc;">The police know and of course, that's part of why he'll never speak to me again. He didn't want to see me for 2 years when he had ample opportunity so WHY would he want to speak to me? Now I also know it was going on well before he looked me up and during. <a href="http://groups.msn.com/narcissisticpersonalitydisorder/thesmearcampaignoftheabuser.msnw"><i>Who'd want to face someone who knows that about you? So its better you seem angry & indignant and make it MY fault you won't talk to me. Right?</i></a></span></span></b><span style="color: #cccccc;"> <b>Why is he blaming me for everything? Like I said, he hates me. Or course blaming me for telling his parents and his boss makes sense in the context of keeping him from speaking to me<a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/modus-operandi-of-emotional-blackmailer.html">. It justifies anything he's said about me to them or his wife or anyone else.</a></b> <b>Telling this <a href="http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_it_normal_for_a_narcissist_to_lie_about_things_to_the_point_where_if_the_truth_came_out_he%27d_lose_everything_and_then_live_and_act_as_if_he_is_invincible_and_untouchable">"true story"</a> also accomplishes <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s keeping me from ever meeting any of his friends. If they did by some horrible chance, meet me - they'd see or know that I am not some sexual predator or the avenging angel he's made me out to be. <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/why-do-you-always-have-to-be-right.html">And that can't happen, can it</a>? Much too dangerous. ;)</b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><a href="http://survivorquotes.bravehost.com/target.html"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 10pt;"><b>"I firmly believe that a Narcissistic person will tell huge lies, a whopper of a story, make himself out to be a victim despite pretty obvious evidence to the contrary and, if he can get somebody to believe him - <i><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal;">BINGO - HE'S FOUND A TARGET."</span></i></b></span></span></span></a></span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Me and my "minions"? Whoa, that's as bad as my ex-husband telling my lawyer I had "put a curse on him." How's someone like me supposed to do that? How do I whip my few friends into a frenzy against him and participate in a conspiracy against him? Why would I do that? And where do I find that sort of time as a single disabled parent? </b><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Think about this: <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>started telling Elizabeth I was "fixated on him, jealous", would "ruin their happiness" and he "<i>never loved me Never</i>!" </b> <b>He tried his reality-spin on my friend Shira too. Trying to tell her that his 'feelings' for me ended in January 2004. Truth?: His feelings for me ended when he stepped away from his computer. Any sort of relationship (for lack of better word) ended on September 13, 2002 when my ex-husband sent him an email. <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/why-do-you-always-have-to-be-right.html">He distanced himself to save his ass while I was taking abuse because of him.</a> And I was too messed up to see what he'd done. He said it would "be better if he went away." Better for who?</b> <a href="http://survivorquotes.bravehost.com/target.html"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 10pt;"><b>"Narcissistic people are obsessed with blame. They are always blaming everyone else for everything that happens."</b></span> </a> <b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Silly me, in September 2002 my husband had YWL's home and (then) work address, phone numbers and hours of IMs between <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>and me. My ex-husband wanted to go to his job, and go to his home and talk directly to his wife. I prevented that and defended <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I realize now I was <a href="http://www.enotalone.com/article/4291.html">trauma bonded</a> to YWL and had enough c<a href="http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index.php?qid=20070324151059AAm9gXB">ognitive dissonance</a> going on to melt down a normal person's brain. And I kept defending for years. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>, I thought was my 'sympathetic friend.' I had shared my most personal thoughts, concerns and feelings with him - and thought the history we had was enough to believe he was being as genuine as his words. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<b>In reality all I was - was free cybersex. Other than that I meant less than nothing to <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>. I always had.</b></span> <br />
<blockquote>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><a href="http://survivorquotes.bravehost.com/target.html"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><b>'Why do we want to repeat the cycle?' Because we are familiar with the role (conscientious caregiver), comfortable with the role, and very good at the role, given our family or relationship history with Ns".</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></a></span></blockquote>
<a href="http://survivorquotes.bravehost.com/target.html"> </a> <span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Elizabeth was really confused when I told her to '<i>go be with him</i>' and give him her love anyway. She told me later she couldn't make it jive with the horrible picture <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>had painted of me. He told her I was just panting after him like a lost puppy. How I lost my virginity to him (<i>that was a lie, I was not a virgin when we met</i>). </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>She was angry too that I asked her to help place some of his articles - she blamed me for a while for introducing them. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>Let's be blunt- I am a tall, big, old SHIKSA with 2 children and a disability. NO CONTEST!! </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>And besides, I genuinely wanted <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>to be happy.</b> <b>The relentless psychological torture of hearing <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>constantly talk about his <a href="http://mrbagel.blogspot.com/">"friends"</a> or how he did this or that - or took his family here or there - I can't even put words to it. The pictures of family and events I got all the time. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>In the 2 years we were chatting it went from <i>me</i>: 'when will I meet your wife/family?'; <i>YWL</i>: 'I don't know' or 'I'm still thinking about it/considering it' to <i>YWL</i>: 'THAT WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN' at the end. Nice. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><b>And the mixed messages of <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s proseltizing about my needing better morals and then sending me suggestive emails? Even as part of a mass mailing? I didn't know what to think it was so mixed up.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Think about it - why introduce your family to someone that, in your mind, was just some silly old free cyberwhore? <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/health/march99/infid033099.htm">Not even a real person.</a> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>That one lunch we had must have been torture for him. He certainly didn't act like he enjoyed it at all. And to be SEEN with me! At least he took me FAR from his office. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I was soooo much better when he could click me off with a mouse, huh? poor guy.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">YWL</a>'s right about this - I DID tell him to <i>'stop trying to please everyone else and make himself happy.'</i> He'd talk to me about work, his shul, etc and he seemed so torn up. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>When I told him that however, <i>I had NO CLUE he WAS making himself happy once or twice a month by spending a few hundred dollars for lunch hours with a sexual pro</i>. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>And I had NO CLUE that he had a computer full of free porn links (I knew he had some - like a lot of guys, not the extent of the <a href="http://www.sexhelp.com/">addiction</a> that NYPD showed me) including webcam, <a href="http://eroticy.com/MySexetera/Profile/ViewProfile.asp?ID=282692">anonymous sex hook-up ads</a> and <a href="http://eroticy.com/MySexetera/Profile/ViewProfile.asp?ID=221863">cybersex sites</a>. I had NO CLUE that those LONG PAUSES in IMs with me were because he was either chatting up other women or watching porn or posting to <a href="http://www.theeroticreview.com/" target="_blank">TheEroticReview</a> about that day's lunch hour fun. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I had NO CLUE idea he already WAS um... pleasing himself!</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Some of the 'lures' <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>threw at me? </b> <i><b> </b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><b>"I will do anything to make you happy", </b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><b>"you always have my attention, whether we cyber or not", </b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><b>"you were the most talented person I ever knew", </b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><b>"I feel drawn and connected to you", </b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><b>"someone should hold you all night",</b></i> <i><b> </b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><b>"I never forgot you, ever", </b></i> <b><i> </i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><i>"you are too nice."</i> </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Truth? The ONLY reason this guy looked me up? Was because I liked him and was stupid enough to get naked with him in 1975. I can't have intimacy without feelings. He can. He never even called me after that to see how I was. In fact, he said some pretty harsh things about me when I was just a few feet away. (<a href="http://net-burst.net/hope/survivor.htm">I came from an abusive home so I learned to TAKE it</a>) You do the math!!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-small;"><b>"There are only two kinds of people of any use to Narcissists; </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-small;"><b>those who can pump them up and those whom they can put down." </b></span><i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-small;"><b> </b></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-small;"><b>The Fusion Delusion - Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism</b></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></b></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Author: Sandy Hotchkiss</span></b></span></i></span> <b><span style="color: purple;"> </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He told me once he "had feelings for me." <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/nlp_embedded_commands.htm">What sort of feelings he never specified.</a> I suspect they were amusement, disgust, frustration and annoyance.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>must have been REALLY bored to bother with someone he loathes so much.</b> <b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>told me he couldn't call me or take a chance of having my number. But he could call someone in California he'd never met 3-4 times a day and give her his work & cell numbers and work address. I did call his work once after -when Elizabeth gave me his new work number and told me to 'let it fly.' </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Yes, that was wrong and I was just shattered at the time. I never ever feel comfortable using someone's phone numbers or address until THEY THEMSELVES give me permission to use them. Ever. </b> <b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>My husband had given me <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s address and home number and for almost 2 years and I never ever used them once. EVER.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I did also tell him to consider counseling many times and to talk to his wife. All he did was tell me she wouldn't talk. He also went and got Wellbutrin, while assuring me he was getting 'counseling.' </b> <b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I did, stupidly, continue to ask to meet <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'s wife and family. I NEVER wanted or thought about breaking up his marriage - just the opposite. It was torture to hear about his family activities & get the loads of pictures he took of them and realize at the end - I would never meet the children or family of this old friend I held so dear and was taking so much abuse because of... because I am nothing. I was someTHING that was supposed to go away when the computer was off.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>One night myself, Shira & <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>were joking around about a 3-some. It was NOT serious. He got very angry with us and left the chat. Shira & I had a big 'WTF' moment. We had been KIDDING! </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I IM'd <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL,</a> right after seeing he was still online right after he left. (<i>He had started to be online for long periods without blocking me or ever speaking to me.</i>) He'd told me not to IM him first - but I did. </b> <b>His response was, (paraphrase) "YOU AND I WILL NEVER EVER BE TOGETHER FOR REAL BECAUSE IT WOULD MESS YOU UP TOO MUCH. AND YOU ARE JUST ABOUT SEX FOR ME, O.K.? GOT IT?" (then <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>clicked off)</b> <b>I was stunned and spent hours online with Shira discussing it. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I didn't speak to <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>until <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/nlp_time_distortion.htm">a few days later when he emailed me an APOLOGY saying he'd "forgotten to take his medication for a few days" and he was sorry</a>. Yeah, right. If anyone forgot Wellbutrin for more than a couple days, they'd feel it. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Why he kept reeling me back in I will never understand. I must have been quite amusing to keep around by then. Ole' reliable.</b> <b> The TRUTH was that at time <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>was online with Elizabeth, having cybersex at the same time. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Now think: I was useless and nothing to him. <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/nlp_time_distortion.htm">So maintaining a chat with me and her at the same time... one of us had to go. And it had been over a for a long, long time with me anyway. </a> </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>His old hatred from college of me was always right there. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>About 10 months before he'd kept me online for over an hour waxing poetic about his ex-fiance, "R." I was like a deer in headlights and I just couldn't bring myself to cut him off. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He'd <u>never ever given me a chance</u> to be more than a protracted one night stand to him. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>He'd <u>never</u> given me the chance to really get to know him and still wasn't. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I was being abused by my ex-husband because I was even still chatting with <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>(non-sexual by then) and I sat there while he went on & on about some woman I'd never met. And I accepted it in the name of 'friendship.' </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I was so seriously depressed. I wanted to be a good ear but I thought I was also his "intimate" and wanted to keep up what I believed was a PRIVATE relationship with him. No good deed goes unpunished! </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Little did I know I was just words on a screen in a parade of INTIMATES.</b></span> </div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;"><a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html"><b>Abuse is an addiction with narcissists. The more they degrade you, the bigger dose of this high they get. Which is why they are sadistic. So, here you have them abusing their victim in cold blood sadistically. Then, when the victim complains, they turn around with their little Wouldn't-Hurt-a-Fly mask on for the bystanders, whining about their need to "heal."</b></a> <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html"><b>Yes, THEIR need to heal.</b></a> <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html"><b>Some folks don't know a joke even when it slaps them in the face like that.</b></a> <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html"><b>Right out of the bystander's mind goes what's on the other side of that coin - what that angel-faced narcissist just did to that victim. In other words, they take this "Poor-Little-Me" act out of context.</b></a> <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html"><b>More important, the bystanders thus avoid having to know what they know about such phony face changes = that the narcissist is diabolical and laughing up his sleeve.</b></a> <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html"><b>All they let themselves see is whiny angel-face before them right now. Because it's warm and cuddly and doesn't rattle their cage or require them to do anything about anything. Or cross this guy they are suddenly afraid of.</b></a> <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html"><b>Then they go off and correct the VICTIM for wrongdoing. Yes, that's right: some folks don't even know a joke when <i>they</i> tell it.</b></a> <a href="http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/04/ugly-bystander.html"><b>The victim has sinned by feeling angry or wanting to retaliate or tell the truth so as to make the abuser stop it. THAT'S the only sin the ugly bystander sees.</b></a></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Another WTF moment: February 13, 2004 I was chatting with <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>and he seemed distracted. I went to bed and left my cellphone AOL connection on so Shira could IM me from the UK. Not 5 minutes after I'd said goodnight to <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>he IM'd me. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><b><a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/nlp_time_distortion.htm">I will never forget because he was like 2 different people. 5 minutes prior he didn't want to talk much. Now he was very into talking to me, getting me to "help him get over the edge" and have cybersex with him for the first time in many, many, many months.</a> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I allowed it - of course - I'd been well trained by then. Now I realize that Elizabeth (who was in the picture by then) wasn't online for him and he had been watching porn and distracted while chatting with me. <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>wanted something MORE so he went to me - knowing I wouldn't and couldn't say NO. <i> </i></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><i>What the heck, Barbara will have cybersex with me. <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/exc2_seduction.htm">She's sooooo easy ,</a> huh?</i> </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>More WTFs: And I had to sit there and listen to the events with his REAL friends and family I'd never be a part of. I was so <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/exc2_seduction.htm">trauma bonded and wanted to keep the communication open</a> with this once sympathetic ear that <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/nlp_anchoring.htm">I allowed and participated in phone & cybersex. I shared my deepest thoughts and feelings with him. I shared myself in a way I had NEVER shared myself with anyone else</a>. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>NYPD Victim's Advocates, my therapist, counselors, doctors and my friends all say I was <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/exc2_seduction.htm">severely used</a>. I have spent the last 3 years trying to and working on recovery. In so doing I have devoted myself to my children and helping others out of abusive, controlling situations. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>When the "falling out" (as <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL </a>called it... LOL, <i>I wish that was all it was</i>) happened he tried to tell Shira that night of the '3-some that was just a joke' -- <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/nlp_time_distortion.htm">That he & I had been online talking until late.</a> Truth? Shira & I had been online talking until late that night, both of us were so upset by his 'behavior' online -- so she knew right away he was lying. </b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>And<a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/nlp_time_distortion.htm"> he tried to tell Shira he'd stopped caring about me in January 2004, anchoring that lie to a weekend he & his family went to the Poconos</a>. Truth? He never cared. His feigned interest stopped in September 2002 when my husband emailed him that he knew. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I was just a sucker and someone he'd <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/12/nlp-mind-control-and-seduction.html">manipulated </a>to be there whenever <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/nlp_anchoring.htm">he decided to throw enough attention</a> my way. Like I said, he's good... VERY good at what he does.</b> <b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>But remember - he'd already <a href="http://www.deeptrancenow.com/subliminal_messages.htm">started making me out to be a jealous stalker </a>to Elizabeth. It helped gain her sympathy and aid his seduction of her, making him seem desirable. How <a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">YWL </a>was 'putting up' with this fat old friend of his. </b><b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>Additionally telling Elizabeth that Shira & I <i>liked to toy with</i> him sexually? </b> <b><a href="http://yidwithlid.blogspot.com/">YWL</a>'d gotten the story that I and my 'minions' were out to get him (or as was said on his blog - "bullied by my friends") to 'fly' once. Once he'd gotten that to 'fly' he just <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/12/nlp-mind-control-and-seduction.html">kept working over</a> the story <a href="http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/03/modus-operandi-of-emotional-blackmailer.html">until it became reality for him</a>. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>And now he tells it to people who have never met me. People who he knows might believe all these women are soooo in love with him and he's just being chased & abused by us. And because of the horrible picture he's painted of me, none of them will ever WANT to meet me. <i> </i></b></span><br />
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<b><i>(I KNOW his wife would never want to meet me. I asked for 2 years and NO - by now I am probably on a dartboard in their home!)</i> Like I said he's very convincing. Very. It's a gift. An EVIL TO THE CORE gift.</b></span> <br />
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><a href="http://survivorquotes.bravehost.com/abusertalk.html"><b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-small;">"The devaluing has no real thought behind it, any more than a child can explain why he suddenly gets bored with his favorite toy. One day she's a beautiful source of great sex, the next she's a bore that I want to ditch. I can't explain why.</span></b></a></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><a href="http://survivorquotes.bravehost.com/abusertalk.html"><b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-small;">(quote from a diagnosed narcissistic abuser) </span></b></a></span></blockquote>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0