Theyre playing your song, Yid

 your life in a nutshell, Yid

FULL DISCLOSURE

I want to be crystal clear about why I did this blog:  

BECAUSE I GOT SICK OF BEING LIED ABOUT.

My friends kept telling me to stop ignoring it - so I did. Now that I have done it, its out. (And NO I will NOT publish YWL's hooker reviews. Throwing up in the ladies room at 1 Police Plaza was enough for me with those.)

I got tired of his projection -  calling me a harasser, a stalker and a liar. Not because it hurts but because when it's PROVEN he lied? He just gets louder and more caustic and more hurtful to others.

I have nothing to hide except my naive and trusting nature. There have been some things said about me. I could say YWL's post is more full of slander and b.s. than Fox News... but I won't.

• Things said about my credibility and what appeared to be my actions:
• - If, as asserted, YWL and his wife did hire computer consultants? They need a refund.
• - I never got a police warrant, a cease & desist or anything from any lawyer, ISP or anyone, anywhere at anytime. If you think I did, please show me the document I would have HAD to have signed for legal delivery. Please. I'd like to see it.
• I did hear from Suffolk County Police - when I was BETWEEN hospital stays. I told them everything. (re: Det. D'Agnostino and Sgt. Best, Huntington Station Police Department, NY)

Also, I should mention that his "detective friend" who was investigating me for "harassment" was very very shocked to find out I am disabled. The detective even called my doctor to confirm (he asked me for her number).  

Det. D'agnostino called me back and wanted to know if YWL knew I was disabled. I told him ABSOLUTELY he was very aware, my ex-husband had chats where we talked about it and sent them to him along with the IP confirmations. He called me and was quite surprised. I distinctly remember him telling me he had no idea because I had been presented as one step away from being a violent stalker. 

He also had no idea I was estranged, a parent with two young children either. I repeatedly invited the Detective to come and I would take him to lunch or breakfast because I was too ill to drive to Suffolk County (which my doctor confirmed). He turned me down.  

I also sent them the confirmation obtained from Classmates.com that YWL paid for a membership to get some emails - mine included - and he contacted ME. I was not "stalking him for years" as he's been telling his friends. 

I had no idea where he'd been after we lost touch in 1976 nor did I care until HE contacted me.    

His Sargeant (Sgt. Best) later called to say it was dropped because they couldn't find any corroboration that I was harassing or stalking YWL and his wife. (seen below)

    

But I was followed to a support group by YWL and he checked my blog for weeks... by YWL. (see post on this blog "Stalker or Just Checkin' "). 

WHY did YWL do that? AFRAID OF WHAT OR WHO I WOULD TELL???? - I really have no idea why someone who found me so "pathetic" and "a nutjob" spent his time following me around to SUPPORT GROUPS? Then called ME a 'stalker who has been after him for years'....

ROFL! Wait! I get it. BEING ON a support group for victims just PROVES I am a "nutjob" right? And going to the hospital for vomiting so bad I burned a hole in my esophagus or for PTSD just PROVES I am "crazy", RIGHT?? 

Accusations have been made. I was journaling here just for myself but many people told me to make it public. I would only do so without causing any further harm to the man (whom I will only refer to as YWL herein) and his family, any of the women I counsel, or innocent parties. I am going to make it very clear, including hard proofs, where I stand and why. 

Accuse me and malign me. Its ok. God knows the truth - I have no reason to turn myself inside out to prove myself to anyone. I have zero to hide Some friends suggested that YWL is still seeing Elizabeth and has gone back to a new brothel. That may or may not be true. I don't know. Its not my business to know.

And let me make this clear: Revenge is wrong, harassment is sick and wrong. Talk to God and if you need psychological help - get it. ________________________________________________________________  

Below is just one of the many emails I sent to "exposure" sites where YWL was posted - with his real name and sometimes his personal information! I have redacted same. 

From: Ms Barbara C [mailto:barbarany_9@xxxxx.com]
Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2007 1:21 PM
Subject: Mr. JXXX Dxxxxz, gridney, yidwithlid - posted on your site

To Whom It May Concern:
I must respectfully request that your remove the above mention person from your site or database immediately. I did not make this post but someone. My reasons are detailed below:

I am now a domestic violence advocate. About 5 years ago I got coerced into a very cruel & inappropriate relationship by an old friend from college. It was a very stupid decision in a very dark period of my life. There was another woman involved and I have not heard from her since a short time after the incident.

The trauma from the ending of this wrongful relationship put me inthe hospital, in counseling, in touch with other survivors. Should you need to contact Mr. DXXXtz to verify this or forward this email to him for comment, his blog says his new address is yidwithlid@XXXX.com.

He may construe this as some further harassment on my part.

If you would like to speak to me, I can provide you with my number and full name and location. Thank you for your help in advance.

Barbara
_________________

From: <admin@cheatersexpose.com>
>To: "'Ms Barbara C'" <barbarany_9@.com>
>Subject: RE: Mr. Jxxx DXXXtz, gridney, yidwithlid - posted on your site
>Date: Tue, 6 Mar 2007 14:05:28 -0600
>MIME-Version: 1.0 >Received: from nat.nationwidehosting.org ([74.52.90.194]) by bay0-mc5-f21.bay0.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.2668); Tue, 6 Mar 2007 12:05:42 -0800

>Received: from adsl-68-93-121-242.dsl.rcsntx.swbell.net ([68.93.121.242] helo=desktop)by nat.nationwidehosting.org with esmtpa (Exim 4.63)(envelope-from <admin@cheatersexpose.com>)id 1HOfun-0001Kw-Llfor barbarany_9@xxx.com; Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:05:19 -0600 >X-Message-Info: LsUYwwHHNt3660MmjhEvYg2f34OAemlK3oXsmRrh6gU= >X-Mailer: Microsoft Office Outlook 11 >Thread-Index: AcdgJQ/jZNR9DafURhywR2/mEpWBjQABRhhQ >X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.3028 >X-AntiAbuse: This header was added to track abuse, please include it with any abuse report >X-AntiAbuse: Primary Hostname - nat.nationwidehosting.org >X-AntiAbuse: Original Domain - hotmail.com >X-AntiAbuse: Originator/Caller UID/GID - [47 12] / [47 12] >X-AntiAbuse: Sender Address Domain - cheatersexpose.com >X-Source: >X-Source-Args: >X-Source-Dir: >Return-Path: admin@cheatersexpose.com >X-OriginalArrivalTime: 06 Mar 2007 20:05:43.0129 (UTC) FILETIME=[D1FD7490:01C7602A] >

>Barbara,

> >The post was not made by you, and the poster never alleged to be you. The IP was different as was the full ISP number.

>The posting has been removed since we received your >request and proof that this was confidential material possessed by you and NYPD.
>I hope you are getting your life together.
>Administrator, >Cheaters Expose >
_____

> To: admin@cheatersexpose.com

You are absolutely right.
I hope this serves as a cautionary tale that cheating hurts everyone.

I am not interested in dating at all. I have devoted my life to my children, helping others who have been cheated on & abuse victims and cleaving to God. Thank you for removing it. I will have to do more investigating to do to see how far this has gone.

Barbara

___________________________

I will write more about what happened - in the interest of FULL DISCLOSURE. This will include pertinent emails and so on - along with full headers from the emails to vouch for their voracity.

I will make this public if I decide to. I am sorry and thank you all for listening and reading. 

My father, of blessed memory - once told me his biggest problem was he was a bad liar. "No one likes a truth teller, Barbara."

So far he's been right.

I pray that somehow someone learns and the record set straight. I have always told the truth because I do believe the truth DOES set you free.

Barbara


#ifmywoundswerevisible

THE DUBIOUS HONOR OF BEING VICTIM OF THE MONTH

Around October 2004 I was contacted by other women who'd also been involved in destructive online relationships. My email had been shared with them. They felt that there was no site out there to help people identify those who prey on adults as well as a site to show them - with clear examples of WHAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOU ARE THE TARGET OF A PSYCHOPATH! They had started this site. There are now 4 women that I know of, around North America and Europe who work on the site. The site is run by great people. Yes, all smart women who made a similar mistake and wanted to make sure no one else did. (I do not know who they are and I am not and never have been one of them)  I hope people are learning from that site.

I even went to a rabbi who was working with me, my trauma counselors and my therapist and all of them saw the healing power in telling my story. I gathered up everything the police had given me, the stuff my ex's attorney had presented me with (as you will read ex had my computer keylogged for quite some time prior to YWL getting in touch with me... ). 

I had to provide the site with police verifications, the computer forensic verifications and so on. It's illegal to make claims online or off without verifiable proof. They wanted to do my story. They weren't going to lie or cover for me if I was making stuff up. I told them they could NOT publish my name or location or YWL's real name or location or anyone else's for the safety of our innocent children and YWL's spouse.  

They had strict legal guidelines for what they post. So yes, they checked everything I sent them via their contacts in law enforcement.
 

Here are all the posts which were published on the site around March 2005. So its been out there for a couple years at least. Click on any of the links provided and hopefully it will take you right to the post. Read in date order... feel free to ask me questions. I'm past being embarrassed simply because I was the target of a predator. http://cyberpathlinks.blogspot.com/2007/06/j-aka-gridney-aka-yidwithlid-aka-sammy.html  

I will clarify again that I could not lie and everything in these posts had to be verified independently. By the time it was posted on that site - NYPD, 2 attorneys handling my divorce & custody of my children, my therapist, a marriage counselor, NYPD Computer Crimes (Dets. Smith & Herrera), an NYPD Victim's Advocate, the Manhattan District Attorney's Office and 3 other women had read them. Even the posts that I made them withhold. Everything. I was pretty much naked in terms of my involvement with this mess. I was too numb and traumatized.  

ARTICLE 1  
ARTICLE 2  
ARTICLE 3  
ARTICLE 4
ARTICLE 5 
 ARTICLE 6  

The Spring and Summer of 2005 NYPD and the Manhattan DA's office called me a number of times. This is what they were prosecuting and some of it had to do with what NYPD turned up on YWL: They used what I gave them and what they turned up to unlock a major case.  

Imagine how SHOCKED I was when I saw that in the paper. I called NYPD and they told me they were going to pass, as per my request, on prosecuting YWL but they had turned up even more because of what I gave them and some of it was key evidence in other large probes. They were not going to share the information with any other law enforcement because of the nature of the investigations (they were afraid of tipping off any of the other 'sex for money' businesses they were looking into I guess). The brothel here was the big fish - so they gave YWL a pass. I was relieved to know that his family would be o.k.  

I have gotten a lot of emails saying while I was involved with a wrongful online relationship, YWL was a john and may still be. I did what I had to do. I went to the police for a temporary order of protection after YWL threatened me. It snowballed from there. What I learned made me physically ill and I spent quite a bit of time in & out of the hospital.  

YWL coerced me into something really ugly. But no, I had no idea how ugly because my past experience with YWL led me to believe he was harmless. He certainly is very smart and savvy and I give him a lot of credit for his successes in life. Yes, I did request that the DA and NYPD NOT prosecute YWL for soliciting and trafficking on his lunch hours. Call me stupid but that wasn't my call. His family didn't deserve what he did. 

And if you think I am an idiot for making that request - then ok - I AM AN IDIOT. Computer Crimes was nice enough to help me out with Ms. Gluck's nonsense because they know I am credible and not some hysterical maniac. I personally have a blemishless record. I only have a couple parking tickets on my record. I was a paralegal for years and was licensed with the State. My fingerprints and information are on file. I couldn't lie even if I wanted to.  

Yes, YWL called what I sent his wife "prose" and continues to say I am lying and fabricating. Goodness knows what else he's told people about me. He's a consummate salesman so I would guess it's pretty nasty, whatever it is. What else could he say without exposing his true nature? He resented me in 1975 and he hates me now. I was never anything more than an awkward, protracted one-night stand. That's just a fact. I believe it and know it to be truth. YWL has proved it by his actions.  

The cops patrolled my home for many years to make sure I am ok. Because of my domestic violence work I have some very angry exes of women I know looking for me - so the precinct sends a car by every once in a while.
 

The story is out there - its been out there for years now. I know so many of you are telling me I was misled and so on. Yes I was. 

There comes a time when you have to grow up and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS. But I will not take responsibility for things I did not do. 

  BTW, let me make this clear once and for all. Sexual stuff is extremely triggering for me. Don't tell me "never say never" - I am not interested. I can't look at porn at all... so WHY whoever put that porn site up did it -- I don't know!! Ugh!! YWL's hooker reviews caused me to vomit every time I saw them.They were depraved, objectifying, smarmy and complete filth.

Thank you NYPD CITU unit for helping me get that garbage taken down. 

I know I was a victim but I am also trying to keep others from being victimized. That's why I let that site publish my story. NOT for revenge, not to hurt anyone, not to end YWL's little lunchhour sex parties or his exploiting my friends with my good words about him, Because the only one who can really help him - is his wife.

That's the only reason why I told his wife - to help YWL STOP VICTIMIZING HIS FAMILY!
#ifmywoundswerevisible

MORAL EQUIVALENCY - WHAT HAPPENED: THE UNVARNISHED TRUTH

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

MANIPULATOR EXTRAORDINAIRE

 

While the harm most of these men inflict is emotional and psychological, there are those among them with a more dangerous twist, who feed off their victims' souls the way a leech drains the blood of its prey: drop by drop. These are the captivating vampires, whose devious masks conceal every woman's worst nightmare. To these men, control is like oxygen. Every sign of submission from others is like the breath of life, falsely confirming their delusion that only force & fear affirms their worth. That hidden fear is the truth that threatens their common delusion of godlike invincibility and exposes them as frightened little men, terrified of everyone and everything, including their own guilt. But guilt, for them, is intolerable. They twist responsibility for their cruel actions away from themselves and lay it onto their victims. Their domineering maneuvers are magically excused in their minds. They project their own selfish, manipulative and deceptive defects of character onto the very people they harm, while persistently and vigorously proclaiming themselves as blameless. He was just treating you like a goddess. He was being so sweet and attentive. Maybe he was even telling you how wonderful you are. Then, in the sudden twinkling of a diabolical eye, he's treating you like you've become a "bitch-on-wheels." And you don't know why. He accuses you of everything from insincerity to stalking, and your mind scrambles to discover what you just said or did that's setting him off. He keeps saying it's you, and is so intensely convinced that it is you that it's hard not to believe him. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. There will always be something - apparently innocuous to you - which will abruptly stoke his raging fire again. And again and again, round and around, until your spirit and soul are finally ground into fine, despondent grains of charred debris, and your mind eventually looks like a Tokyo china-shop after a 9.0 earthquake.
 

Maybe he never physically beats you. Or maybe he never will. But you never know. He is stunningly impulsive and unpredictable. But he always assaults you emotionally, ripping into every fiber of your being with verbal vindictive, threats and accusations. Being keel-hauled over a coral reef is a cake-walk, compared to this torment. The only thing predictable about such a man is his extreme unpredictability. It is only after you become intimately snared into him that you discover the soul-grinder that lies waiting to strike. Until then, you may even find him amazingly attentive, sensitive and empathic to your every need. He can initially appear to be completely non-threatening. That is why it is critical to learn how to identify this type of individual, because there is a high probability that brutally sociopathic or sadistic-type personality disorders may hide behind his appealing camouflage of muted sensitivity. When borderline, sociopathic and sadistic disorders combine with a narcissistic disorder, a particularly deceptive and dangerous Molotov cocktail of character pathology results. Shortly after he had seduced his next "relationship", "Tom" developed a calculating and classically "I hate you-I love you" borderline way of mentally & sexually controlling his woman.  
Since he knew that the marked conscientiousness of this woman's character made her particularly loyal, he was certain his method of erotic control would work because, no matter how much she desired sex, she would never seek it with someone else and would always give in to his pressures. This was the key to his method, and his way of making her feel simultaneously responsible and guilty for her own desires and his cunning manipulation of them. Knowing that he had control of her loyalty, he would "work" her sexual longing by timing its gratification. He would do this by turning her on with words & suggestions, then losing interest by feigning "a tough day at the office," "a sore back," or some other pretext. 

All the while, his borderline instinct for reading her level of sexual frustration watched and waited, until he could tell that she was in a state of carnal gridlock. He relieved himself with prostitutes and porn while she did a slow torturous boil. Then he released the laser intensity of his loin-lions upon her now fever-pitched libido and gratified her to the nth-degree. To increase the agonizing effect of this cycle upon her, he added two more factors of frustration. He initiated the first by asking about her sexual history with a lot of 'understand & compassion', getting her comfortable enough to tell him things she'd done when younger that she felt guilt about. And he always feigned outraged and agonized sexual betrayal including laying moral guilt trips on her. This ratcheted up her sense of guilt even further.

Then - just to twist that ratchet one last click - he dropped using excuses like tough days at the office and sore backs for one that was a psychological coup de trompe' of controller manipulation. He started accusing her of sexually abusing him! He had completely succeeded in deceiving her into believing that she was manipulating poor, morally-upright, erotically-exhausted him. And he had gotten her to cling to him! Once a this type of pathological man has succeeded in this kind of sexual "trick," or in other less genital manipulations, the Hater appears. This hateful part of him may have emerged before, but you probably will not see it in full, acidic bloom until he feels he has achieved a firm hold on your conscience and compassion. But when that part makes it's first appearance, rage is how it breaks into your life.

Roger Melton, M.A., L.M.F.T., CEAP  
-----------------------------

lynchga11@yahoo.com 74.83.197.27 2011-02-08 10:36:39 2011-02-08 15:36:39 This is EXACTLY what my sociopathic ex-boyfriend did to me... exactly... oh my god... it was so incredibly painful. And I almost believed him. It makes me shudder to think how close I came to having a shattered mind because of his manipulations. I am one of the fortunate ones. I got out.


lisalisa46@live.com 
48 75.15.94.159 2011-08-06 00:33:18 2011-08-06 05:33:18 
GODDAMN! Did you date him TOO?

blonde_bomb_2009@hotmail.com 124.177.49.147 2011-08-06 00:43:31 2011-08-06 05:43:31 - 
my life to a tee...the change in them once they’ve dropped their mask is torturously disbelieving. Whats worse is that no one else gets it or understands the brainwashing they’ve been doing, its been subtle, slow, stealth, cunning and confusing and then its devestating and can be fatal.

If you survive, your mind is tortured by the obsessive disbelieving thoughts of this person you’ve lived with and had children with for more than two decades as he continues to defame and demonise you as the abuser, all the while he has stolen every cent of money you’ve earned while being left with PTSD trying to survive and being knifed psychologically by him at every single turn of life. Despite awareness, the event has occurred and the replaying in your mind of this person you believed was your protector is now your most evil enemy seems neverending.