FACEBOOK GROUP FOR VICTIMS OF NARCISSISTS https://www.facebook.com/groups/NoNarcsRUs/1187498977942998/

Saturday, April 21, 2007



Just a couple weeks after [YWL]s extramarital activities were found out and we had our "falling out" (he never contacted me after threatening me, never tried to speak with me or explain... I guess that's his definition of ...uh ...falling out), I was checking the hit meter for my personal blog. I stopped short. My PTSD anxiety hit the gas. I was actually shaking. I was being watched. Yes, me - the "stalker"! I was being stalked! By YWL

I double and tripled checked and sent it to a geek friend and yes, he was on my blog. Regularly - maybe once a week at least. I told my counselor, who knew I loved writing and having a blog. She advised me to find a way to block him from my blog if it was so triggering to me. I didn't want to take it down and start over. 

I have been blogging since 2002. I really had nothing to hide. Unfortunately, my blog platform does not yet allow for IP blocking. Finally I decided to take down my blog for 36 hrs and posted this:  

from my blog, barbarany9

Apologies to my other readers & visitors while I face a personal situation head on here. Scroll down for my usual blog fare. Hi [YWL ] I know you are coming here.... looks like Saturdays after or before Shul.  
Domain Name optonline.net ? (Network) 
IP Address 24.47.134.# (Optimum Online (Cablevision Systems)) ISP Optimum Online (Cablevision Systems) 
Location Continent : North America 
Country : United States (Facts) 
State : XXX 
City : XXXX 
Operating System Microsoft WinXP 
Browser Firefox 2.0 Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv: Gecko/20070309 Firefox/ Javascript disabled 
ARIN location: XXX XXX Drive, XXXXXX XXXX, XX 11XXX  
Time of Visit Mar 26 2005 9:50:07 am 
Last Page View Mar 26 2005 9:55:17 am  

Please read on. I have so many questions: but one big one - since you found me so disgusting, pathetic and unworthy what did you want to find out with this search? :  

Referring URL 
http://www.google.co...BARBARANY_9&btnG=Search Search Engine: google.com Search Words: barbarany_9  

  • Do you feel better now that you know every forum or site I may be on? 
  • Who's the REAL stalker here?  
  • Does it make you feel good to see the pain & agony you have caused me? 
  • That I am spending time still trying to unravel myself?  
  • Are you still wrapped up in feeling sorry for yourself or blaming me and calling me a stalker? 
  • Have you checked if its really me who's doing it?  

I hope you get help. Ongoing, long term help. This had nothing to do with jealousy or obsession - but with doing the right thing. 

I had a feeling about Julie's brothel and your online sex-partner ads long before - I kept asking... hoping you would open up to me. But you didn't - you just continued to make it very clear that you wanted nothing further to do with me except use me. 

I could have gotten you help. Now you're representing me as "fixated" with you, harassing you and "too much of a temptation" for you to be in touch with me FOR REAL.   You're painting me as 'out to hurt your wife' when YOU were the one who hurt her.  The police and my attorney has chats where YOU said some very nasty things about her and I STUCK UP FOR HER!!

I heard you are trying to make sure everyone hears your story, your "version" of what happened that paints me like some avenging harpy. I got the big hints that I went from college mercy-fuck to internet freebie for an unemployed old acquaintance.You said many things about me in college when you thought I didn't hear you. Then you painted your own special picture of me to Elizabeth and I bet now to everyone else. I get it.


Put on your big boy panties and leave me alone. The truth is out there. Anyone who really knows you, will believe it. No matter how hard you try to couch them as "lies" and "falsehoods'; no matter what you've been able to convince your wife and family of... the TRUTH and DOCUMENTATION is staying out there.  Forever.

- Barbara

Additionally, as a safety precaution I told the owners of a couple online support groups for panic, anxiety & trauma I belonged to that the NYPD were watching my accounts. They asked for YWL's IP number and the IPs the NYPD were using, they didn't want myself or any of their users hassled. I got them and turned them over.

Not 36 hours after doing this TWO SUPPORT SITE OWNERS told me YWL had been on their sites... after googling my id and clicking to my posts!! I flipped out.  

I wasn't safe anywhere. I would never be safe again. I didn't sleep for days. I left the MSN Groups but they REFUSED to remove YWL's photos or the story - I begged.  

I only wanted support for my PTSD... 

YWL took ZERO responsibility for what he'd done to me - and god only knows what Elizabeth was doing!

Eventually my therapist got me to reclaim that ID and not run and hide, not create some new identity.  

I was nothing and no one to him. I'm not entitled to be hurt, upset and yes - angry. I would be happy to discuss it all like adults but he won't speak to me - because I supposedly hurt his family on purpose because I am some sort of desperate stalker? He'd rather attack, attack, attack.  

Silly me, I thought at least I could be a cordial adult and be polite. It is a good article.

Unfortunately YWL & I belong to the same blogging community. Got to wonder what he's told his REAL friends there about me; since he did mention me in this post. It is sad he will go to any lengths to silence the truth. That's why this blog will remain up, for MY peace of mind... no one else's. I am doing this for ME.
"You are dealing with a totally delusional human being, who builds his own fantasies about his reality and believes his own pathological lies. How can you possibly hope to have a healthy relationship with someone who bases his whole existence on deceit? IMPOSSIBLE! And don't kid yourself - They know exactly what they are doing - They prey, victimize, and devastate."

Of course we are to cut YWL all sorts of slack for my 'hurting him, his family, etc.' but no slack for me being completely traumatized, ending up in the hospital a few times, being unable to drive or do much for weeks thereafter, dismantling my computer (according to him I was supposedly stalking & harassing him then.  I wonder how I did that with NO COMPUTER???) 

-- noooo, somehow he stalks me and reads all my pain & anguish but HE'S THE VICTIM. 

He still takes ZERO personal accountability. Scary. Heaven forbid any of us were a real human being not some THING that could be clicked off with his mouse or blocked on IM, huh?

(Note: At this time I knew nothing about Sociopathy and how they operate.   YWL is TEXTBOOK.)

Monday, April 2, 2007


I want to be crystal clear about why I did this blog:  


My friends kept telling me to stop ignoring it - so I did. Now that I have done it, its out. (And NO I will NOT publish YWL's hooker reviews. Throwing up in the ladies room at 1 Police Plaza was enough for me with those.

I got tired of his projection -  calling me a harasser, a stalker and a liar. Not because it hurts but because when it's PROVEN he lied? He just gets louder and more caustic and more hurtful to others.

I have nothing to hide except my naive and trusting nature. There have been some things said about me. I could say YWL's post is more full of slander and b.s. than Fox News... but I won't.
  • Things said about my credibility and what appeared to be my actions:
  • - If, as asserted, YWL and his wife did hire computer consultants? They need a refund.
  • - I never got a police warrant, a cease & desist or anything from any lawyer, ISP or anyone, anywhere at anytime. If you think I did, please show me the document I would have HAD to have signed for legal delivery. Please. I'd like to see it.
  • I did hear from Suffolk County Police - when I was BETWEEN hospital stays. I told them everything. (re: Det. D'Agnostino and Sgt. Best, Huntington Station Police Department, NY)
Also, I should mention that his "detective friend" who was investigating me for "harassment" was very very shocked to find out I am disabled. The detective even called my doctor to confirm (he asked me for her number).  

Det. D'agnostino called me back and wanted to know if YWL knew I was disabled. I told him ABSOLUTELY he was very aware, my ex-husband had chats where we talked about it and sent them to him along with the IP confirmations. He called me and was quite surprised. I distinctly remember him telling me he had no idea because I had been presented as one step away from being a violent stalker. 

He also had no idea I was estranged, a parent with two young children either. I repeatedly invited the Detective to come and I would take him to lunch or breakfast because I was too ill to drive to Suffolk County (which my doctor confirmed). He turned me down.  

I also sent them the confirmation obtained from Classmates.com that YWL paid for a membership to get some emails - mine included - and he contacted ME. I was not "stalking him for years" as he's been telling his friends. 

I had no idea where he'd been after we lost touch in 1976 nor did I care until HE contacted me.    

His Sargeant (Sgt. Best) later called to say it was dropped because they couldn't find any corroboration that I was harassing or stalking YWL and his wife. (seen below)


But I was followed to a support group by YWL and he checked my blog for weeks... by YWL. (see post on this blog "Stalker or Just Checkin' "). 

WHY did YWL do that? AFRAID OF WHAT OR WHO I WOULD TELL???? - I really have no idea why someone who found me so "pathetic" and "a nutjob" spent his time following me around to SUPPORT GROUPS? Then called ME a 'stalker who has been after him for years'....

ROFL! Wait! I get it. BEING ON a support group for victims just PROVES I am a "nutjob" right? And going to the hospital for vomiting so bad I burned a hole in my esophagus or for PTSD just PROVES I am "crazy", RIGHT?? 

Accusations have been made. I was journaling here just for myself but many people told me to make it public. I would only do so without causing any further harm to the man (whom I will only refer to as YWL herein) and his family, any of the women I counsel, or innocent parties. I am going to make it very clear, including hard proofs, where I stand and why. 

Accuse me and malign me. Its ok. God knows the truth - I have no reason to turn myself inside out to prove myself to anyone. I have zero to hide Some friends suggested that YWL is still seeing Elizabeth and has gone back to a new brothel. That may or may not be true. I don't know. Its not my business to know.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
And let me make this clear: Revenge is wrong, harassment is sick and wrong. Talk to God and if you need psychological help - get it. ________________________________________________________________  

Below is just one of the many emails I sent to "exposure" sites where YWL was posted - with his real name and sometimes his personal information! I have redacted same. 

From: Ms Barbara C [mailto:barbarany_9@xxxxx.com]
Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2007 1:21 PM
Subject: Mr. JXXX Dxxxxz, gridney, yidwithlid - posted on your site

To Whom It May Concern:
I must respectfully request that your remove the above mention person from your site or database immediately. I did not make this post but someone I know did and I was unaware of her actions. My reasons are detailed below:

I am now a domestic violence advocate. About 5 years ago I got coerced into a very cruel & inappropriate relationship by an old friend from college. It was a very stupid decision in a very dark period of my life. There was another woman involved and I have not heard from her since a short time after the incident.

The trauma from the ending of this wrongful relationship put me inthe hospital, in counseling, in touch with other survivors. Should you need to contact Mr. DXXXtz to verify this or forward this email to him for comment, his blog says his new address is yidwithlid@XXXX.com.

He may construe this as some further harassment on my part.

If you would like to speak to me, I can provide you with my number and full name and location. Thank you for your help in advance.


From: <admin@cheatersexpose.com>
>To: "'Ms Barbara C'" <barbarany_9@.com>
>Subject: RE: Mr. Jxxx DXXXtz, gridney, yidwithlid - posted on your site
>Date: Tue, 6 Mar 2007 14:05:28 -0600
>MIME-Version: 1.0 >Received: from nat.nationwidehosting.org ([]) by bay0-mc5-f21.bay0.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.2668); Tue, 6 Mar 2007 12:05:42 -0800

>Received: from adsl-68-93-121-242.dsl.rcsntx.swbell.net ([] helo=desktop)by nat.nationwidehosting.org with esmtpa (Exim 4.63)(envelope-from <admin@cheatersexpose.com>)id 1HOfun-0001Kw-Llfor barbarany_9@xxx.com; Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:05:19 -0600 >X-Message-Info: LsUYwwHHNt3660MmjhEvYg2f34OAemlK3oXsmRrh6gU= >X-Mailer: Microsoft Office Outlook 11 >Thread-Index: AcdgJQ/jZNR9DafURhywR2/mEpWBjQABRhhQ >X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.3028 >X-AntiAbuse: This header was added to track abuse, please include it with any abuse report >X-AntiAbuse: Primary Hostname - nat.nationwidehosting.org >X-AntiAbuse: Original Domain - hotmail.com >X-AntiAbuse: Originator/Caller UID/GID - [47 12] / [47 12] >X-AntiAbuse: Sender Address Domain - cheatersexpose.com >X-Source: >X-Source-Args: >X-Source-Dir: >Return-Path: admin@cheatersexpose.com >X-OriginalArrivalTime: 06 Mar 2007 20:05:43.0129 (UTC) FILETIME=[D1FD7490:01C7602A] >


> >The post was not made by you, and the poster never alleged to be you. The IP was different as was the full ISP number.

>The posting has been removed since we received your >request and proof that this was confidential material possessed by you and NYPD.
>I hope you are getting your life together.
>Administrator, >Cheaters Expose >

> To: admin@cheatersexpose.com

You are absolutely right.
I hope this serves as a cautionary tale that cheating hurts everyone.

I am not interested in dating at all. I have devoted my life to my children, helping others who have been cheated on & abuse victims and cleaving to God. Thank you for removing it. I will have to do more investigating to do to see how far this has gone.



I will write more about what happened - in the interest of FULL DISCLOSURE. This will include pertinent emails and so on - along with full headers from the emails to vouch for their voracity.

I will make this public if I decide to.
I am sorry and thank you all for listening and reading. 

My father, of blessed memory - once told me his biggest problem was he was a bad liar. "No one likes a truth teller, Barbara."

So far he's been right.

I pray that somehow someone learns and the record set straight. I have always told the truth because I do believe the truth DOES set you free.