Leviticus 19:17. Lo tuchal l’hitalem.
Being an Empath can be a dangerous thing. It makes you a target for predatory psychopaths. Like the one I will talk about on this site. I'd known him for 30 years and believed he was "trustworthy" when he was ANYTHING BUT!
“Empathy is commonly defined as one’s ability to recognize, perceive and feel directly the emotion of another. Since the states of mind, beliefs, desires, of others are intertwined with their emotions, one with empathy for another may often be able to more effectively define another’s mode of thought and mood. Empathy is often characterized as the ability to “put oneself into another’s shoes” or to in some way experience the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself, a sort of emotional resonance.” But Wikipedia goes on to say something more about the issue of the empathy, “Empathy is also a concept recognized as “reading” another person. Often, an empath can quite literally feel the emotions of another person or persons.” Many of the women in the research, have talked about how they feel the emotions of someone else—especially the 'wounded psychopath'. When people have this level of empathy they are often referred to as “empaths” or are said to be “empathic.” The issue of these women as empaths deserves more attention because it appears that their high levels of empathy may be pointing to something even more intrinsic to their nature.
To understand how empathy and empaths are connected, here is a blurb from www.blogxero.com:
Empaths are highly sensitive. This is the term commonly used in describing one’s abilities to (sense) another’s emotions and feelings. Empaths have a deep sense of ‘knowing’ that accompanies empathy and are often compassionate, considerate, and understanding of others. Empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels. From their position of observing what another is saying, feeling and thinking they come to understand the other person. They can become very proficient at reading another person’s body language and/or study intently the eye movements. While this in itself is not empathy, it is a side-shoot that comes from being observant of others. (Authors Note: Ironically, this seems to be what the psychopath himself can also do—intently study eye movements, body language and be an intense observer of others, yet he does not have empathy.) Empaths are often very affectionate in personality and expression, great listeners and counselors (and not just in the professional area). They will find themselves helping others and often putting their own needs aside to do so.
They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection and talk openly, and, at times, quite frankly about themselves. Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. People of all walks of life are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things. It is as though the person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding.”
Women who tested this high in empathy may have been raised by adults or parents who were pathological and/or addicted. Children raised by narcissists and psychopaths learn early on how to cater to the needs of the pathological parent in order to avoid punishment or wrath. Remember that one of her traits may be to “avoid punishment.” If this was set up as an early childhood behavior pattern because she learned that the wrath of pathologicals was to be avoided at all costs, her bundle of cooperation traits were likely produced in that environment. After all, it would be smart and safer for a child to be highly cooperative in a household that was being run by a pathological parent.
The trait and skill of empathy in that environment would be emotionally safeguarding to the child, if the child could figure out how to empathize with the pathological parents instead of hating and fighting with them. The art of empathy was probably very helpful to the child. If she was raised in a home with a mentally ill, or otherwise pathological parent, her skills in cooperation were probably created at a very early age. Empathy has made her a sensitive partner, a good listener, and a target for psychopaths. She has more empathy than 97% of everyone else, so she can put herself in a psychopath’s shoes with genuine concern. Her empathy is like a drug that the psychopath uses to feed his need for power and dominance. Although she may not realize it, the psychopath doesn’t need her empathy, but uses it to maintain power over her emotions and dominance over the relationship. This could be said for any of her temperament or character traits—they are all tools and weapons in the hand of a psychopath. Just what can too much empathy do in the hands of a psychopath? It can keep her tied to the relationship way past the point of sanity. Add some of the other traits she has and she has a steadfast connection to the psychopath that is not easily broken. This steadfast connection is what confuses her family and even her therapist.
Any psychopath can use his own sad history to hook her into his long term plans for her by playing the empathy card. Feeling for his personal situation and even “sensing” that he is disordered can pull the heart strings to keep her there. She with all that empathy has the best possible chance of reaching him, touching him, and helping him grow into the potential she sees in him. Yes, all that empathy is indeed a manipulative tool in the psychopath’s hand. The obvious question is, “If she’s empathic why didn’t she know what she was feeling from the psychopath was fake?”
As strong as her quality is as a genuine empath, it is no match for the con artist psychopath. The ability to make an empathic feel strongly about his false stories is probably no more shocking than how psychopaths con psychiatrists and other forensic professionals who are supposed to know what psychopathic behavior is all about. Unfortunately, the psychopath is “smarter than we are empathic” and he can abuse absolutely any positive trait that will benefit the con he is involved in.This site is the full account of:
- My 2 year e-relationship with a man who used my deep affection and my belief that I "knew" him from our past relationship for him to purposefully & methodically prey on and use me and my friends.
- My misplaced trust, my being hypnotized & brainwashed online by YWL. (Doctors & Police confirmed that this was done.)
- This "friend's" harassment accusations and evidence of who may have really done what he accuses me of doing.
- Dealing with diagnosed Complex PTSD which is now permanent because of what was done to me and coming from a home with an abusive parent.
In fact, he still takes potshots at me when the opportunity presents itself, despite even a legal order from me; while denying same. All of this has given me more resolve to simply leave the truth out for all to see because there is nothing here that scares me. Additionally - the volume of mail I have gotten from other victims (both male & female) thanking me for helping them see that they aren't alone, they aren't crazy and that this does happen has helped me decide to leave this blog up. My hopes that Hashem, who performs miracles; will heal myself as well as other victims of pathologicals.
This site is for all those genuine friends who supported me, my FB friends and blog readers.
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One effective way to clear our mind is to write about our experience.
Writing as a Way of Healing by Louise DeSalvo offers a way of helping us put our pain down on paper in a deep, creative way. Writing our story helps us process our fears and anxieties.
DeSalvo tells us that, "Writing that describes traumatic or distressing events in detail and how we felt about these events then and feel about then now is the only kind of writing about trauma that clinically has been associated with health." A healing narrative is a balanced narrative. It uses negative words to describe emotions and feeling in moderation; but uses positive words too" It is the translation of emotions into language that does the trick. Although talking about our traumas also helps, it is harder to talk without someone to listen. In general, we have no such compunction about writing without a reader. In fact, believing no one will read it may make writing easier. To impact the immune system, it doesn't matter whether anyone hears or reads the story, what the trauma was or how long ago. The effect is most measurable, however, when the event hasn't been talked about. The miraculous connection between writing and the immune system results from cracking through inhibition. It seems that when we don't speak the truth of our experience, we inhibit our emotions, and that inhibits our immune function. Keeping secrets and maintaining denial require physical energy, energy our bodies could use in healthier ways were it available. Not only does inhibition have physiological consequences, it precludes translating our experience into language. And, it is through language that we organize our experiences into coherent stories making them smaller and easier to deal with.~~~~~~~
Sincerity is not enough. You have to do the right thing. Why is it this way? So that we will know that we are small, and truth is very large. It is truth that stands at the center, and we that orbit about it .
Chabad.org
Barbara
